The Parenting Thread II - Advice, Tips, Etc

[Llevron]

12 minutes ago, Die Hard said:

As a parent of a child with a disability, albeit mild (autistic), when soon-to-be parents say the cliche ‘as long as it’s healthy’, it triggers the **** out of me. 
 

And what if it’s not born in ideal health… then what? What does it imply?

 

Unconditional love is tricky innit?

What kind of response where you expecting when you posted that? Serious inquiry

[Die Hard]

38 minutes ago, Llevron said:

What kind of response where you expecting when you posted that? Serious inquiry

Your response will be predicated on context: your past experiences, our previous rapport, your beliefs, judgments, fears/insecurities, your spectrum of emotions and the mood you’re in when you read it… plus 1000 other variables. Knowing that, I don’t waste much time predicting other people’s responses.

 

Its a public message board. Those words will be read by many people, and interpreted differently to each person. Some will find it meaningful, others will find it confrontational.

 

Whatever you decide…. I’m not your master.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Momma There Goes That Man]

5 hours ago, Die Hard said:

As a parent of a child with a disability, albeit mild (autistic), when soon-to-be parents say the cliche ‘as long as it’s healthy’, it triggers the **** out of me. 
 

And what if it’s not born in ideal health… then what? What does it imply?

 

Unconditional love is tricky innit?

well of course we’d give it away if it wasn’t healthy, obviously. 
 

I mean that’s a pretty common phrase and I feel like you are reading too much into it because it doesn’t imply anything. I don’t have a preference if it’s a boy or a girl as long as it’s healthy. 

 

This is a science experiment, you put all this stuff together and all you’re really hoping is just that everything works out of the best. It’s not like I would love my child less if it had an issue, or that there is anything wrong with a disability or health issue that develops, but at this stage, yeah man, I’m kinda just hoping it’s healthy and I don’t have to spend an extra 6 weeks in the ICU, or have our hearts destroyed with a still born, or deal with whatever else that might come up that would make something extraordinary but also already difficult even more so. My little brother was my parent’s 7th and final child. He was born with 1 kidney, a hole in his heart and an undeveloped throat that didn’t allow him to swallow. Had to feed thru a tube in his stomach for 3 years. Spent his first 3 months living in the icu. My parents were a wreck. We didn’t know every day if that would be his last. I was 8. It was hard enough on me and I really couldn’t even process it at that age.

 

So yeah, I’ll put up with some bull**** or whatever else as long as it’s healthy. Less for my sake even but more for the child’s sake I hope they don’t have to deal with something for their whole life. Doesn’t really mean anything more than that. 
 

if it does, I’ll handle it and love it all the same regardless but at this stage that’s where I’m at. No offense meant when it’s said 

[PleaseBlitz]

Unconditional love is one of the least tricky things, in my experience. 

[Die Hard]

1 hour ago, PleaseBlitz said:

Unconditional love is one of the least tricky things, in my experience. 

Saints, Buddha’s, and Please Blitz.

Edited November 12, 2021 by Die Hard

[tshile]

16 hours ago, Die Hard said:

As a parent of a child with a disability, albeit mild (autistic), when soon-to-be parents say the cliche ‘as long as it’s healthy’, it triggers the **** out of me. 
 

And what if it’s not born in ideal health… then what? What does it imply?

 

Unconditional love is tricky innit?
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a parent with a child with three disabilities, when I hear other parents say “as long as its healthy” I completely get what they mean. 
 

Dealing with lifelong disability of my child is heartbreaking. It’s not the only thing it is. It’s also an experience. And none of it changes how I feel about my child or what I want from my child or what I will do for my child. 
 

but it’s mother****ing heartbreaking. And it’s very difficult. It’s mentally exhausting scheduling all this ****. Missing work. Missing one of these meetings (which has happened and was ****ing infuriating). Meeting with 6 different combinations of groups at school. 5 different specialists plus his core pediatrician. Pulling him from school. Making up all the work.  All during a pandemic where it’s so hard to even find someone who will schedule a time to talk to you. We’ve been on waiting lists 8-18 months long just to get an initial appointment. 

having to figure out how andy when to talk to him about any number of the long list of things going on that’s confusing for him. 
 

I have a stack of ****ing books on my nightstand I must read through so that I can try to be a better parent for him. 
 

and I’m dealing with a relatively mild disability. 
 

so I completely get why the hope is to have a child without any issues. And I wish them to have no issues.
 

Because this sucks. 
 

im just thankful the ones I’m dealing with are mild. 

Edited November 12, 2021 by tshile

[PleaseBlitz]

8 minutes ago, Die Hard said:

Saints, Buddha’s, and Please Blitz.

 

😂  Yes, very much a saint over here.  /makes sure, at 11 am, that he has enough bourbon and ice to get him through 6 hours of college basketball tonight.

 

This isn't complicated.  Sure, sometimes my kids can be a pain in the ass.  There still isn't anything they could do that would make me not love them.  Nothing.  It's really simple.

 

I found out last month that my brother is a ****ing anti-vaxxer.  That's one of the dumbest, most selfish and irresponsible choices that a person can make in this day and age.  I still love the guy even if I think he's a big dummy. 

 

I kind of feel bad anyone with your level of nihilism about having kids. 

[tshile]

I love my children. I would do anything for them to protect them. And I consider my duty to first be to them. Then myself. Then my wife (although the last two are interchangeable depending on context)

 

but they are both a giant pain in my ass. Constantly.

 

and that’s ok. Cause that’s what they’re supposed to be. 
 

and it’s ok to recognize they’re a giant pain in my ass. Cause, again, that’s just what they are. 
 

I anticipate they will continue to be a giant pain in my ass for quite a long time. 
 

(and there’s plenty of good things about them too)

[tshile]

heads up

Paramount+ is running a free trial right now for Black Friday (offer ends 11/29) 

they have The new Clifford the Big Red Dog streaming

 

[PleaseBlitz]

This is going to be such a great winter because my son is almost 2 and every time i skootch across carpet in socks i can static zap him and he’ll think im a wizard. 
 

 

Edited November 26, 2021 by PleaseBlitz

[The Sisko]

So your son calls our NBA team the Washington Putzes?😃

[Renegade7]

Daughter is doing this thing that everytime i check on her out of suspicion she crawls away from the scene of the crime as fast as babily possible. 

 

"You'll never take me alive, copper!!! Nyuk nyuk nyuk."

[Thinking Skins]

Kids are so excited that I found a song about the solar system. I think its a horrible song but they have been singing it on repeat for like two weeks that its growing on me. But now they're spouting random facts. 

 

Some things Iearned from the song

 - Venus is hotter than Mercury

 - Uranus is colder than Neptune

 - A year on Mercury is 88 days

 

And I just discovered that Pluto and Mahimahi are beefing because Mahimahi is bigger than Pluto and the reason its no longer a planet. Cool things you learn with your kids. 

Edited November 27, 2021 by Thinking Skins

[Renegade7]

This cold war with my daughter is about to get hot. 

 

She keeps picking up this wooden floor vent by the front door so I glued it to the floor.  Wanted to start with Elmer's in case super glue made my life harder then it needed to be. Her initial reaction when she couldn't pick it up was to quick spin her head and jus glare at me in the eyes. 

 

Then she stayed in the corner picking at it until she got it lose, now she's waving it back and forth on the floor mocking me in front of my mom. *squints eyes*

 

 

[dfitzo53]

Look, do you want a clever, persistent child or not?

[PleaseBlitz]

5 hours ago, dfitzo53 said:

Look, do you want a clever, persistent child or not?

If he does, he can’t let her win this easily. 
 

I recommend skipping the super glue and going straight to the nails. 

[Renegade7]

7 hours ago, dfitzo53 said:

Look, do you want a clever, persistent child or not?

 

Want? My wife and I are stubborn, she is genetically required to be as well. Love it : )

[Larry]

1 hour ago, PleaseBlitz said:

If he does, he can’t let her win this easily. 
 

I recommend skipping the super glue and going straight to the nails. 

https://www.amazon.com/Glarks-Button-Security-Stainless-Resistant/dp/B086PG2Q6X/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=2FS4ZP1VKCMN9&keywords=tamper+resistant+torx+sheet+metal&qid=1638106556&s=industrial&sprefix=tamper+resistant+torx+sheet+metal%2Caps%2C86&sr=1-3

 

[Jabbyrwock]

1 hour ago, PleaseBlitz said:

If he does, he can’t let her win this easily. 
 

I recommend skipping the super glue and going straight to the nails. 

 

Load the vent up with prank snakes.

 

 

Shes gonna win...might as well have fun with it.

[Destino]

On 11/27/2021 at 10:16 PM, Renegade7 said:

Then she stayed in the corner picking at it until she got it lose, now she's waving it back and forth on the floor mocking me in front of my mom. *squints eyes*

Need to work on your Dad glare.  It’s an important tool for when your kid does some dumb **** in public.  And they will.  It’s right there in the contract.

 

On 11/28/2021 at 1:04 AM, dfitzo53 said:

Look, do you want a clever, persistent child or not?

These virtues are useless without bravery.  I suggest threats.  If she touches the little wooden whatsit, which glue failed to hold in place, threaten to throw her out a window.  Say it with all the sincerity you can muster.  
 

This worked on my daughter for about five minutes.  After which she told me “you wouldn’t because mom would be mad.”  Checkmate.  
 

 

[tshile]

My 3 year old daughter will run and hide under a table if I glare at her

 

my 6 year old son laughs at me. 
 

not sure where I went wrong with him. May try the throw out the window trick. 

[PleaseBlitz]

10 hours ago, Destino said:

These virtues are useless without bravery.  I suggest threats.  If she touches the little wooden whatsit, which glue failed to hold in place, threaten to throw her out a window.  Say it with all the sincerity you can muster.  

 

I got in trouble because I told my daughter when she was like 4 or 5 that I was going to stuff her in a closet for some reason.  I was obviously joking.  She told her teacher. 

[Destino]

17 minutes ago, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I got in trouble because I told my daughter when she was like 4 or 5 that I was going to stuff her in a closet for some reason.  I was obviously joking.  She told her teacher. 

These things happen, and it’s important to see them as the learning opportunities that they are.  You have to take them aside and explain that you never rat on family.  Especially, Dad.  Or else!
 

Gotta teach them young, before they start broadcasting your dirty laundry on TikTok like the Conways kid.  lol

[China]

1 hour ago, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I got in trouble because I told my daughter when she was like 4 or 5 that I was going to stuff her in a closet for some reason.  I was obviously joking.  She told her teacher. 

 

1 hour ago, Destino said:

These things happen, and it’s important to see them as the learning opportunities that they are.  You have to take them aside and explain that you never rat on family.  Especially, Dad.  Or else!
 

Gotta teach them young, before they start broadcasting your dirty laundry on TikTok like the Conways kid.  lol

 

Yes, otherwise the next step is this:

 

 

[Fergasun]

@PleaseBlitz

My wife and I had something similar happen to us.  Mandatory reporting... my kids were 8 and 5.  My son was being a butthead before church, not wanting to go.  So I "sat on him".  He threw a fit and was so dramatic about and scared my daughter.  Guess what she told her Sunday school teacher?  Guess whose family got interviewed by social services? 

 

"How often do you sit on your son?"