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The Parenting Thread II - Advice, Tips, Etc


PleaseBlitz

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14 minutes ago, China said:

 

As I recall from my youth, kids that age are good about learning the card games, but the difficult part is holding the cards, especially so that nobody else can see them.


I mean yea, look at my kid. Card discipline is garbage.  
 

Dont even get me started on her lack of appreciation for position leverage. I ended up grounding her for a week. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I realize that for whoever answers my question, it is a dumb question....  

 

Our child’s teacher is working very hard and doing a great job. We’re getting gift cards for the regulars because we don’t have time to shop right now (wife is a little busy in the healthcare profession at the moment). All the daycare people, cleaning people, mailman (although he sucks so I might skip him), etc. 

 

can we get something for his teacher?

 

she deserves it. We want her to have it. She deserves way more than that. She’s doing a fantastic job. Couldn’t ask for more. 
 

feels like maybe that’s inappropriate?


like would that be a bad thing? Would she get in trouble? Just reject it? Etc?

 

 

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Teacher and parent chiming in here. I receive gifts from some families and not from plenty of others, and that's totally fine.

 

I think the two most common things are Christmas cookies and mugs, so those might be good ones to avoid. I've received everything from ties and dress socks to yankee candles to coupon books.

 

Honestly I love it when I just get like a small gift card to the local coffee shop or whatever. It's basically the family saying, "Thanks, let me buy you a drink."

 

The families that know me really well sometimes get me things like beer or funny math t-shirts or whatever, but obviously that demands a certain relationship.

 

All of that said, the most treasured things I receive are cards where the family and/or the student took the time to actually write a little note about how they appreciated my work.

 

Edit: And keeping the monetary value of any gift small is appropriate.

 

 

 

Edited by dfitzo53
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9 minutes ago, tshile said:

I realize that for whoever answers my question, it is a dumb question....  

 

Our child’s teacher is working very hard and doing a great job. We’re getting gift cards for the regulars because we don’t have time to shop right now (wife is a little busy in the healthcare profession at the moment). All the daycare people, cleaning people, mailman (although he sucks so I might skip him), etc. 

 

can we get something for his teacher?

 

she deserves it. We want her to have it. She deserves way more than that. She’s doing a fantastic job. Couldn’t ask for more. 
 

feels like maybe that’s inappropriate?


like would that be a bad thing? Would she get in trouble? Just reject it? Etc?

 

 

 

Different counties have different rules on gift.  Our kids' school does a class gift coordinated by the room parent where voluntary, anonymous donations are pooled and gift cards purchased.  

 

If your child's class doesn't have a coordinated system like that, you can also reach out to the school administration to ask what is an acceptable practice in the county and the school.  We did once gift a little extra to the instructional assistant outside of the class gift, but did it anonymously through the front office because we felt a little funny about handing a gift directly (though a good teacher friend assured me that she would never have attached any improper motive or something in such a context and that the nice thank you note is treasured far more than the monetary gift).

 

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14 hours ago, tshile said:

can we get something for his teacher?

 

(a) Check the rules of your area.

 

(b) Keep it small and personal and only for the really special teachers.  When my son was young, and since we knew the special teachers celebrated X-mas, he hand painted a glass ornament.  Oh it always came out looking like someone vomited paint and sprinkles on a glass sphere, but it seemed well received.  When he got a little older, we made an ornament in the shop (e.g. music note for orchestra teacher)...honestly didn't need a shop for that since it was just a bunch of balsa wood, but it made him feel like he was "wood working".  Now that he's a teen we just default to getting socks.  Nice warm socks, preferably with some sort of joke.  His computer teacher was amazing so we found some socks with the old binary numbers joke on it, got those.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Protip:  if your 5 year old is pouting about something or having a hissy fit (but short of a full blown meltdown), you can defuse them by looking them square in the face and repeatedly saying “don’t you laugh...don’t even think about laughing .... you better not” until you’ve broken their resolve and they laugh. 
 

Works every time. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

When your parenting sense is tingling 

 

instead of asking “what are you doing in there?” To which you know you will get no response

 

try asking instead:

”am I going to be mad when I find out what you’re doing in there?”

two year old immediately yelled “yes!”

 

well then ok here I come. Thanks!

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My dog is the same way. Not long ago when I took a shower she was off somewhere and very quiet, meaning she found paper of some sort to shred. . She usually lays on the bathroom rug like a good dog. Lo and behold, she found my new car registration sticker in its envelope and ripped it to shreds and actually ate the sticker itself. It cost me a trip to the local government building and $6.50. Dogs are like children. When quiet they are up to something. I would have written something about my child but it was so long ago I don't remember!

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 10/22/2020 at 11:52 AM, tshile said:

Re: pets for kids

 

we decided to get a dog. I’m basically never going back to the office so, I don’t care about having to take care of it. 
 

wife is mandating it be a low-shedding dog. Which really limits the options because I don’t care much for the tiny dogs and that’s most of them. 
 

the barbet looks awesome. The lagotto ramagnolo also looks awesome. So do the Spanish water spaniel. And of course the golden doodle. 
 

but NONE of these are available anywhere. At best you can find a breeder advertising 6-12+ wait lists but they won’t even call me back

 

im very close to picking one up from one of the nova animal shelters (there’s ton that look like good options) while she’s at work and when she comes home she’ll just have accept a “regular” shedding dog. 
 

Christ what a pain in the ass this is. 
 

Ps - dog breeders are about as obnoxious of people as there are. How dare you be overly critical of my situation - you’ve got 50 dogs pissing and ****ting all over your house. And then you lecture everyone not use puppy mills but you charge 3500 for a puppy and make people wait a year. Get out of here with your nonsense. 

 

On 10/22/2020 at 12:01 PM, PleaseBlitz said:

OMG don't get a breeder dog.  Get a shelter dog.  Without even getting into the morality of it, shelters will let you actually meet all of the dogs so you can pick the one that responds to you.  Getting a breeder dog is like getting mail-order bride, you get what they send you.  A co-worker of mine paid $6,000 for a breeder goldendoodle.  4 months later, it was a shelter dog because it was neurotic AF.  I paid $325 for mine.

 

Go here:  https://foha.org/pet-adoption/find-a-dog/

 

We've gotten two dogs from here, both are/were awesome dogs.  Current one is a German shorthaired pointer mix.  B/c of the short hair, she barely sheds. 

My response is pretty late, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway. I was dead set on getting a Basenji because of a similar issue with my ex-wife. She was afraid of bigger dogs and wanted something that wouldn't shed much. Well, I'll be damned if I was going to get some froofy chick dog, so I started researching it and that was one of the breeds I came up with. So, we found a breeder, got on her list for the next litter and when they popped out, she gave us a call. We played with the pups for a while and before too long, one picked us. So, I think the experience depends on a number of factors - the specific breeder, demand for the breed, their assessment of how interested/responsible you are, the fit between their assessment of you and what they know about the breed, etc. Things may be different for these new mutts, .er boutique mixed breeds nowadays though. I'd bet money that a lot of those breeders are just in it for the money.

 

I know you had a bad experience (my condolences - few things in life are sadder than losing a pet) but if you're ready to try again and you really have your heart set on a specific breed, learn everything you can about them, then look for a breed rescue club. You'll be able to get the best of both worlds, i.e. a rescue dog of the specific breed you want. Best of luck with it.

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I was lucky with Dancer. I researched the different breeds, didn't want a dog that sheds because I had four cats at the time and was constantly vacuuming. After I checked out breeds, I checked out breeders. This process took about a year. Then I talked to the breeder and again waited about five months. It was a crap shoot because I wanted pet quality not a show dog. Dancer's mom only had two puppies Dancer and her brother Cosmo who went to a family in Miami. So I traveled down to Tampa to pick her up. We've been bonded ever since. She's the sweetest dog I ever had or knew and I'm glad I got her.

Edited by LadySkinsFan
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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey guys (and gals), here I am. We made it. Our 3rd child was born this Wednesday, March 3rd. We waited to find out the gender until it was born, we have two boys, ages 6 and 4. Now, we have a girl! So....

 

Help? This is all kinda brand new again. Anyone have 3 kids with some tips on how to make life easier?

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9 minutes ago, Springfield said:

Hey guys (and gals), here I am. We made it. Our 3rd child was born this Wednesday, March 3rd. We waited to find out the gender until it was born, we have two boys, ages 6 and 4. Now, we have a girl! So....

 

Help? This is all kinda brand new again. Anyone have 3 kids with some tips on how to make life easier?


Congrats! 
 

At 6 and 4, your older kids can take care of themselves at this point. :ols: 
 

Seriously though, my 3rd was born when we had a 3.5yr old and a 19 month old. My older kids are now 5 and 3 and it’s soooooo much easier. You’ll get used to the constant chaos soon. 

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