The Parenting Thread II - Advice, Tips, Etc

[PleaseBlitz]

Garage camping!

 

 

[PleaseBlitz]

[PleaseBlitz]

[China]

China to consider law to punish parents for young children's 'very bad behavior'

 

China's parliament will move to consider legislation that would punish parents for the crimes or "very bad behavior" of their young children.

 

The National People's Congress (NPC) Standing Committee will review the draft of the law at a session this week, according to Reuters. 

 

The draft family education promotion law would require guardians of children who commit crimes or partake in very bad behavior to go through a family education guidance program. The draft also encourages parents to allocate time for their children to rest, play and exercise, Reuters reported.

 

"There are many reasons for adolescents to misbehave, and the lack of or inappropriate family education is the major cause," Zang Tiewei, spokesman for the NPC's Legislative Affairs Commission, said to Reuters.

 

Click on the link for the full article

[Renegade7]

Do not pass go, do not collect $200...

 

 

Anyone else enjoy the hand over fist battle of baby proofing or was it stressful?

 

 

[PleaseBlitz]

[purbeast]

So I got a question for you all - how do you explain Black Lives Matter to a 6 year old?  

 

Background:

 

My wife is Nicaraguan and came here when she was 13 and I'm a white boy.  So our kids are mixed.

 

The other day I was on a walk with my 6 year old and now that he can read in first grade, he's reading everything and saw a BLM sign on someone's lawn.

 

He then asked me "Daddy, what does Black Lives Matter mean?"

 

And I had no idea how to answer that.  I basically just kind of repeated it a few times that it just means Black Lives Matter just as much as everyone else, but he didn't get it at all.

 

I think a major reason is because my wife and I have really steered clear of labeling people by race at all.  Like we have never once said "that black kid" or "that asian kid" or "that white kid" etc. It's not that he doesn't know kids are different, it's just that we never point it out to him.  He's in a super diverse school and our neighborhood is also super diverse so he sees it all.

 

So any idea on how to explain that to a 6 year old lol?

Edited November 10, 2021 by purbeast

[skinsmarydu]

I'd start with the start...Trayvon.  A grown adult didn't do what police told him to do, etc....

(Yeah, it's gonna be super hard.  Sorry you even have to do that.)

[Llevron]

Wife gonna pop one out in a few months 

 

hopefully these don’t show up super huge I don’t know how to change the size (that’s what she said, I guess) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 10, 2021 by Llevron

[dfitzo53]

1 hour ago, purbeast said:

So I got a question for you all - how do you explain Black Lives Matter to a 6 year old?  

 

Background:

 

My wife is Nicaraguan and came here when she was 13 and I'm a white boy.  So our kids are mixed.

 

The other day I was on a walk with my 6 year old and now that he can read in first grade, he's reading everything and saw a BLM sign on someone's lawn.

 

He then asked me "Daddy, what does Black Lives Matter mean?"

 

And I had no idea how to answer that.  I basically just kind of repeated it a few times that it just means Black Lives Matter just as much as everyone else, but he didn't get it at all.

 

I think a major reason is because my wife and I have really steered clear of labeling people by race at all.  Like we have never once said "that black kid" or "that asian kid" or "that white kid" etc. It's not that he doesn't know kids are different, it's just that we never point it out to him.  He's in a super diverse school and our neighborhood is also super diverse so he sees it all.

 

So any idea on how to explain that to a 6 year old lol?

At that age it's ok to keep things relatively general. Some people make an unfair decision to treat people differently based on the color of their skin. Most people do it at one point or another, but it's important for all of us to work together to make sure we treat everybody with respect no matter what they look like.

 

I think your explanation of the sign is just fine. It's ok if a six year old doesn't completely grasp it right now as long as they know to treat everybody with respect.

[Corcaigh]

On 10/30/2021 at 8:49 PM, PleaseBlitz said:

 

 

 

 

 

Those photos look expensive. Didn't the pricing package include the option to photoshop better abs?

[Hersh]

On 11/10/2021 at 7:30 AM, purbeast said:

So I got a question for you all - how do you explain Black Lives Matter to a 6 year old?  

 

Background:

 

My wife is Nicaraguan and came here when she was 13 and I'm a white boy.  So our kids are mixed.

 

The other day I was on a walk with my 6 year old and now that he can read in first grade, he's reading everything and saw a BLM sign on someone's lawn.

 

He then asked me "Daddy, what does Black Lives Matter mean?"

 

And I had no idea how to answer that.  I basically just kind of repeated it a few times that it just means Black Lives Matter just as much as everyone else, but he didn't get it at all.

 

I think a major reason is because my wife and I have really steered clear of labeling people by race at all.  Like we have never once said "that black kid" or "that asian kid" or "that white kid" etc. It's not that he doesn't know kids are different, it's just that we never point it out to him.  He's in a super diverse school and our neighborhood is also super diverse so he sees it all.

 

So any idea on how to explain that to a 6 year old lol?

 

I explain to my 7 year old the issues around race on a basic level. He knows the confederate flag is evil and what the civil war was really about. (Slavery and not the BS states rights garbage). He knows that black people have been treated poorly by white people for a long time. But this is a much different and probably much easier conversation in the sense that my son is white. We don't sugar coat much, we just don't go into great detail yet. 

 

[PleaseBlitz]

10 hours ago, Corcaigh said:

 

Those photos look expensive. Didn't the pricing package include the option to photoshop better abs?

Even Photoshop has limits. 

[Momma There Goes That Man]

On 11/10/2021 at 8:22 AM, Llevron said:

Wife gonna pop one out in a few months 

 

hopefully these don’t show up super huge I don’t know how to change the size (that’s what she said, I guess) 

congrats. My wife is due in March with our first 

 

Exciting times. 

[Llevron]

9 minutes ago, Momma There Goes That Man said:

congrats. My wife is due in March with our first 

 

Exciting times. 

Indeed. I was trying not to get too excited since she’s high risk, but we got back the genetic tests and all that and they told me I can be excited about it so it’s been fun look forward to everything 

[Die Hard]

Maybe it’s just me. But I’ve found parenthood/fatherhood to be the most challenging undertaking of my life.

 

Having to love someone unconditionally?! I don’t even love my wife that much… our marriage (like I imagine every marriage) comes attached with a lot of conditions.

 

And that child will immediately be become dependent on me. Who the hell wants that kind of responsibility. Most days I can barely take care of myself.

 

And then they hit the growing stages where they assert their independence/autonomy and resist/resent their parents. They resent any help from you. Where they are still mostly dependent on your, and they treat you like **** (entitlement) for it. 
 

And then they move out and self-seek in their relationships with friends, romantic partners, their careers (achievements) and accumulation.

 

And if you’re lucky, still in their lives, listening and watching their trials and tribulations… just praying deep down their ok/happy. And working ever so diligently through the process  to accept/love them (surrender/letting go) exactly as they are…. Instead of who you wanted them to be. 
 

But I’ve found it manageable because of my wife. It’s nice to have some support through it all. It was vital for me.

 

God bless mums and single parents.

 

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by Die Hard

[Momma There Goes That Man]

[LadySkinsFan]

2 hours ago, Die Hard said:

Maybe it’s just me. But I’ve found parenthood/fatherhood to be the most challenging undertaking of my life.

 

Having to love someone unconditionally?! I don’t even love my wife that much… our marriage (like I imagine every marriage) comes attached with a lot of conditions.

 

And that child will immediately be become dependent on me. Who the hell wants that kind of responsibility. Most days I can barely take care of myself.

 

And then they hit the growing stages where they assert their independence/autonomy and resist/resent their parents. They resent any help from you. Where they are still mostly dependent on your, and they treat you like **** (entitlement) for it. 
 

And then they move out and self-seek in their relationships with friends, romantic partners, their careers (achievements) and accumulation.

 

And if you’re lucky, still in their lives, listening and watching their trials and tribulations… just praying deep down their ok/happy. And working ever so diligently through the process  to accept/love them (surrender/letting go) exactly as they are…. Instead of who you wanted them to be. 
 

But I’ve found it manageable because of my wife. It’s nice to have some support through it all. It was vital for me.

 

God bless mums and single parents.

 

 

 

I'm so glad that my daughter is the woman she is. I was pretty strict with her and when she was 14 she was someone I didn't recognize. That lasted until her early twenties when she was trying to make it on her own and needed help. My help came with some responsibility on her part and she stepped up. Then she became a mother and when my granddaughter was 9 months old, their family moved to Texas. I told her that I would never interfere with their marriage or parenting, I would always listen and give advice if only asked. That's worked well for us and I have a good relationship with my ex-SIL. I treat her as the adult she is, I didn't expect her to be my mini me, she's her own person. That's the main thing to remember.

 

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by LadySkinsFan

[PleaseBlitz]

I think being a parent is like being in the Peace Corp.  It's the toughest job you'll ever love.  I love being a father, but it can be exhausting.  It soaks up the majority of my free time (and income), but the rewards are enormous.  I've been lucky that my older daughter, currently 6, has been wonderful so far.  Very little drama, very little issues, she's my little flower child.  It's been extremely rewarding to teach her my values and little life lessons (Rule #1 in my house is "protect your head.")  I'd rather hang out with my daughter than 95% of people.  I haven't really worried yet about her teenage years, I'll take that as it comes.  People told me the terrible two's were going to be, well, terrible and that didn't happen.  

 

My son, almost 2, is going to be very different.  His energy is much higher and he's already got a mischievous streak.  He's going to be exactly like me.  

[Die Hard]

16 minutes ago, LadySkinsFan said:

 

I'm so glad that my daughter is the woman she is. I was pretty strict with her and when she was 14 she was someone I didn't recognize. That lasted until her early twenties when she was trying to make it on her own and needed help. My help came with some responsibility on her part and she stepped up. Then she became a mother and when my granddaughter was 9 months old, their family moved to Texas. I told her that I would never interfere with their marriage or parenting, I would always listen and give advice if only asked. That's worked well for us and I have a good relationship with my ex-SIL. I treat her as the adult she is, I didn't expect her to be my mini me, she's her own person. That's the main time to remember.

A young child’s love is so fickle…. its like being raising a MAGA child. If you don’t always do what they want, or say what they want, it doesn’t matter if you enable 99 times in a row, it’s a what have you done for me lately (short-term) mindset. No matter how much good will you’ve built. 😂

 

I have a younger brother I detest, always have. He’s a despicable human being. Some children never grow out of it.

 

Theres not always a redemptive ending. And how do you love that?

 

I’m not suggesting that’s my children… they’re actually pretty good kids and very low maintenance. And even then, some times/days, I really don’t like them. 

1 hour ago, Momma There Goes That Man said:

If you want parenthood sugar-coated, then go look at white girl’s instagrams. 😂

Edited November 11, 2021 by Die Hard

[Die Hard]

14 minutes ago, PleaseBlitz said:

My son, almost 2, is going to be very different.  His energy is much higher and he's already got a mischievous streak.  He's going to be exactly like me.  

I’ve found that to be one of the worst parts. When you witness your kids picking up your worst qualities. No matter how much you try to impart the good ones 🙂

[dfitzo53]

31 minutes ago, Die Hard said:

I’ve found that to be one of the worst parts. When you witness your kids picking up your worst qualities. No matter how much you try to impart the good ones 🙂

I found I've been really fortunate in that I don't have any bad qualities. It's made parenting much easier.

31 minutes ago, Die Hard said:

I’ve found that to be one of the worst parts. When you witness your kids picking up your worst qualities. No matter how much you try to impart the good ones 🙂

I found I've been really fortunate in that I don't have any bad qualities. It's made parenting much easier.

[Die Hard]

14 minutes ago, dfitzo53 said:

I found I've been really fortunate in that I don't have any bad qualities.

Your kids will resent you for that too.😉 Going to be hard living up to that bar!

 

 

 

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by Die Hard

[Llevron]

I’m looking forward to the challenge of raising someone who I think has all the ability to to change the world and grows up to be a dildo salesman. 

I am lucky enough to have the perfect wife thing going on. So there is going to be a lot of sharing of responsibility. Shoulder to cry on? Mom will help. Teach you the cheat code to social interactions. Pops got you. **** like that. I don’t really expect anything to go exactly to plan. But I do hope that I can be flexible enough to meet the challenge. And a big part of it is doing better than my dad did. Which is probably the lowest bar I can give myself. So I’m taking the easy wins where I can. 
 

We will see. I’m very much looking forward to it. I damn near raised my nieces and nephews and they are a disappointment every day so if I can be at peace with that I’m sure I will be able to handle a mini me or wife (or god forsaken mixture of the two). Just be healthy and we can work on the rest. 

[Die Hard]

4 hours ago, Llevron said:

Just be healthy and we can work on the rest. 

As a parent of a child with a disability, albeit mild (autistic), when soon-to-be parents say the cliche ‘as long as it’s healthy’, it triggers the **** out of me. 
 

And what if it’s not born in ideal health… then what? What does it imply?

 

Unconditional love is tricky innit?