Special K Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I've always wanted to be able to fart and scratch my balls simultaneously. Or be able to fall asleep on the couch with one hand down my sweatpants. It's unfortunate that I've never been given the genetic opportunity to master these skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tshile Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 never too late to start working on some of those Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Evil Genius Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Or be able to fall asleep on the couch with one hand down my sweatpants. It's unfortunate that I've never been given the genetic opportunity to master these skills. Are you missing both of your hands? Or are they too busy putting on makeup while you chew gum, drive, and text? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I've always wanted to be able to Or be able to fall asleep on the couch with one hand down my sweatpants. I have a hand right here you could borrow booyah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbs Hog Heaven Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Why do woman struggle with short term memory loss like where they put their darn keys, hair ties, shoes et all (which is often YOUR fault. Naturally); yet when it comes to something you said MONTHS back, that you and every sane thinking person has LONG forgotten, it's the very FIRST thing they throw up in an argument! Hail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Actually, we have a secret manual that we are not at liberty to divulge to the opposite sex, for all those tasks. Sorry about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ixcuincle Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Keep complaining about how women are paid equally than men or about the politics of last night but what Patricia Arquette said was TRUE You can tell me it's because women don't ask for pay raises or are timid and not aggressive enough and that's true But don't try to deny there's a gap because there's a gap as clear as day and it was brought to our attention yesterday. But most of us have known it's been there for some time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoodBits Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Hey that's a pretty good idea, I'll start doing that. I do not know why this never occurred to me. (see good idea, adopt good idea - the way it is supposed to work... oh well at least they are perfect in every other way) Because if you load all the spoons into one section, they'll start to... Uhh... Spoon. And then the ones in the middle of said spoon won't get clean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC9 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Wow. A call out thread, on an entire gender. What could possibly go wrong with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elessar78 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Part of the problem with putting all the same type in the same container is that they can stick together and not get clean. i've actually found it's better to spread them apart. of course my wife thinks i'm an idiot the way i load the dishwasher so take it for whatever its worth. That basically never happens for me. If I do get a dirty spoon/fork/knife it's not because they stuck together. Yeah, I will defend this methodology to the death. If I have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexey Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Because if you load all the spoons into one section, they'll start to... Uhh... Spoon. And then the ones in the middle of said spoon won't get clean.Makes sense. Only a dirty dirty spoon will try to spoon between two spooning spoons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 This thread should be standing in front of a brick wall while being shown on A&E at 3 in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Because if you load all the spoons into one section, they'll start to... Uhh... Spoon. And then the ones in the middle of said spoon won't get clean. I do the presort silverware thing for knives, I mix up the forks and spoons for cleanliness sake. It does make unloading much faster. Or be able to fall asleep on the couch with one hand down my sweatpants. Why can't you? Your boyfriend/husband/other would probably think it was hot. By the way, I read your response to my wife. She was impressed with your wit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slateman Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I've always wanted to be able to fart and scratch my balls simultaneously. Or be able to fall asleep on the couch with one hand down my sweatpants. It's unfortunate that I've never been given the genetic opportunity to master these skills. I put both my hands down the sweat pants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRobi21 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Friendly relationships with other women? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Well,either there are women who can't load a dishwasher properly,or there some seriously anal retentive men posting in this thread. We'll let the experts decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Writing their name in the snow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsmarydu Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 According to my husband, I'm a genius, if only for one point (dishwasher-wise): I put the silverware in with the handles up...that way when you unload/use them, you don't grab the part that's goin' in yo mouf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slateman Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 According to my husband, I'm a genius, if only for one point (dishwasher-wise): I put the silverware in with the handles up...that way when you unload/use them, you don't grab the part that's goin' in yo mouf. If you put them in with the "mouth part" up, they get cleaned better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartinC Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I've always wanted to be able to fart and scratch my balls simultaneously. Or be able to fall asleep on the couch with one hand down my sweatpants. It's unfortunate that I've never been given the genetic opportunity to master these skills. To be honest its part genetics and part years of dedicated practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Speaking of the hand down the pants thing, did anyone else pick that up from Al Bundy? I was a young, impressionable lad watching TV shows my parents would probably rather I not watch, and I remember him doing that on several occasional, to "woooing" from the canned laughter. I thought it was great and started doing it then, realized it was comfortable, and never stopped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Why do women always rub their eyes in the morning? Because they have no nuts to scratch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartinC Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Speaking of the hand down the pants thing, did anyone else pick that up from Al Bundy? I was a young, impressionable lad watching TV shows my parents would probably rather I not watch, and I remember him doing that on several occasional, to "woooing" from the canned laughter. I thought it was great and started doing it then, realized it was comfortable, and never stopped. Married with Children was one of my favourite sitcoms of all time. I say sitcom, it was more of a fly on the wall documentary of married life ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Going Commando Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I don't know about all women but my wife cannot play video games. She's awful. She can't jump over a turtle in Mario. My girlfriend is naturally good at video games. She played a little as a kid on the NES and Sega Genesis and on computer games so old they came on floppy disks. And then she went dormant as a gamer. I got her into the modern generation of consoles when we moved in together and she was fascinated with watching me play Skyrim. Took her like two weeks to learn the XBox controller and then pretty soon she was beating RPGs on higher difficulties than me. She games with me and good couch co-op games are extremely satisfying ways to spend time together. It's also interesting that, since she started playing RPGs, she's gotten so much better at reading maps. And they say vidjah games don't learn you nothin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I put both my hands down the sweat pants When you get to my age and 25+ years of marriage you just forgo the pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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