What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard someone say in conversation?

[Spaceman Spiff]

Not online, but in actual in-person conversation. 
 

I’ll drop mine in a bit. I still joke about it with a buddy of mine years later. 

[Captain Wiggles]

January 6th wasn't an insurrection because there weren't any tanks or planes involved. This was said to me by a neighbor who sposidly served in the US Army. I've posted about it a few times. Still easily one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. 🤣

[dfitzo53]

People who are unironically into astrology just generally spew nonsense. 

[Corcaigh]

6 minutes ago, dfitzo53 said:

People who are unironically into astrology just generally spew nonsense. 

That’s the kind of thing someone would say when their third chakra is blocked.

[Fan since a Fetus]

I was trying to be nice at someone’s house and refill their paper towel dispenser. So, I went to the garage opened a pack and took one roll out. The person (family member) sees the open pack in the garage. “ who did this?” They asked angrily. “I did” “WE DO NOT OPEN PAPAER TOWELS IN THE GARAGE! YOURE GOING TO GET GASOLINE SMELL ALL OVER THEM. YOU PROBABLY RUINED THIS PACK.” 

 

I laughed and still laugh about it today with my wife. She was there. So now, when I go to their house I don’t do **** to help. 

 

 

[Jabbyrwock]

Early 2000's.  Was reading a scientific report to a sponsor.  The sentence was:

 

"Each entity in the simulation is represented by a six digit number (e.g. 12345)."

 

Its fractal levels of stupidity...believing you need an "e.g." for a six digit number says something about you're perception of the intellect of the sponsor...and then to get it wrong.  Sometimes all you can do is sit back in awe.

[Sacks 'n' Stuff]

That’s 5 digits

[Metalhead]

Thanksgiving, at the dinner table with the whole family. My 48 year old cousin (who is die-hard conservative, racist, Fox News maniac/zombie, etc.), who is also an electrical construction foreman, went on a loud crazed rant about gravity, that no one knows what it is or how it works and that Stephen Hawking was full of ****. Everyone was dead silent. My uncle, a retired Air Force Lt. Colonel C-130 pilot, retired Alaska Airlines Captain, and WVU Aeronautical Engineer, just sat there and didn't make a sound.

[Skins24]

Don't know if this counts and man oh man I wish I remember what was said - 

Many many moons ago I was riding the metro, some guy was on there high on whatever, and just rambling away to himself. I can't remember what he was saying, I just remember absolutely dying trying not to bust out laughing! They were actual and complete sentences, but I remember the subject matter and arrangement of them had me shaking! Man, I was in tears by the time I got off 😂😂😂

[Spaceman Spiff]

I've mentioned him on here before, but I used to work for a guy who was a friend first.  Helped him get his company off the ground in the early 2010s.  He was a doofus, but that's okay...I mean if drinking, hitting golf balls and chasing girls are your hobbies, that's fine.  There was a time there where he didn't try to hide from who he was.

 

Somewhere along the line, he met a girl who he ended up marrying.  It was kind of puzzling, she was an elite liberal and I don't mean that in a bad way, but that's just the best way to describe her and I really liked her, she was great.  Highly educated, wealthy family, progressive ideas on just about everything.  Into art, culture.  In a lot of ways, the opposite of him, but opposites can attract and I'm not sure what the draw was to him.  

 

So it was obvious when he started parroting ideas that weren't his own, and looking back on it I'm not sure if he ever had any real ideas of his own on a lot of things.  But suddenly, he was interested in going to broadway shows and visiting art galleries and everything he was interested in had to do with "culture."  If he liked someone, he would never fail to say that they were "well cultured," or "well traveled."  

 

One day, a bunch of us from work are at this spot in Arlington for lunch eating burgers.  It's a gorgeous spring day, and we're sitting outside.  He's prattling on about something and I didn't catch the start of the sentence but it ended with "...and when you look around and think about it, America has no culture."

 

It's the type of statement you'd expect to hear from a not so bright suburban teenager attempting to appear sophisticated.  That statement made its way into my earhole and rattled around in my brain for a couple seconds and I actually thought wow, he might have a poi....no, that's the dumbest ****ing thing I've ever heard.  And I wasn't alone because after that same couple seconds everyone was just like "Uh...no," and started laughing at him and explaining to him why he was wrong.  The look on his face was sheer embarrassment, I actually felt bad for him for a little bit.  The fact that we were eating one of the most quintessential American meals at the time wasn't lost on me, either.

 

Same doofus, similar situation, out at lunch with a group from work:  He'd obviously watched something on TV about technology and was relaying to us how technology companies have technology that's so far advanced that they can't release it to the public because it's so far over our heads.  That Apple has, like, the iPhone 25 ready to go, they just can't release it yet because it's so far advanced none of us would understand it.  

 

Still joke about these two instances with a buddy of mine who was present for both.  

[Captain Wiggles]

America has culture. Ours is just more lowbrow compared to say Europe. 🤭

 

Edited April 20 by Captain Wiggles

[Jabbyrwock]

26 minutes ago, Sacks 'n' Stuff said:

That’s 5 digits

 

Am I allowed to change my answer?

[The Evil Genius]

Adam Archuleta is the missing piece that the Redskins D needed this offseason...

[SkinsFTW]

When i was the department head on a small base in Japan around 1998 I was told in writing, then verbally upon questioning the order in multiple conversations that YES it is required to literally tag every single piece of electrical or electronic equipment, including fans, telephones, vacuum cleaners, battery wall clocks, coffee pots, as Y2K compliant.

 

Nope, Not A Joke. This was clearly meant for PCs (which was dumb in itself) but it was for anything electrical or electronic.

 

No amount of prodding for common sense would change a word of this order. Naturally, all of the people who would actually have to do this (lots of paperwork involved too) argued with me and informed me of how many hours of wasted time this would take. Yeah, I know but somebody might show up here and check our leaf blower, microwave, or our Techtronics signal generator, oscilloscope, fluke meters etc.

 

That Y2K thing was serious business! I can't imagine being in an actual warzone or on an Aircraft Carrier lol

Edited April 21 by SkinsFTW

[CousinsCowgirl84]

Look at the ground. It’s flat. So is the earth.

[PokerPacker]

43 minutes ago, SkinsFTW said:

When i was the department head on a small base in Japan around 1998 I was told in writing, then verbally upon questioning the order in multiple conversations that YES it is required to literally tag every single piece of electrical or electronic equipment, including fans, telephones, vacuum cleaners, battery wall clocks, coffee pots, as Y2K compliant.

 

Nope, Not A Joke. This was clearly meant for PCs (which was dumb in itself) but it was for anything electrical or electronic.

 

No amount of prodding for common sense would change a word of this order. Naturally, all of the people who would actually have to do this (lots of paperwork involved too) argued with me and informed me of how many hours of wasted time this would take. Yeah, I know but somebody might show up here and check our leaf blower, microwave, or our Techtronics signal generator, oscilloscope, fluke meters etc.

 

That Y2K thing was serious business! I can't imagine being in an actual warzone or on an Aircraft Carrier lol

But did you actually audit the devices to be sure they were YTK compliant?

[SkinsFTW]

5 minutes ago, PokerPacker said:

But did you actually audit the devices to be sure they were YTK compliant?

 

No, everything was to be tagged as Y2k compliant and documented. The PCs had a program that was run but how do you test a battery operated wall clock for Y2k?  It literally just goes around in a circle forever, the battery doesn't care which century it is operating in. There are no dates on it lol. Same with anything else including the 15000W HF Transmitters or the multiplexing equipment, all test equipment as well. That was the most overblown thing I've ever seen.

 

For a PC isn't it obvious that all you really needed to do was change the clock on it to Dec 31st at 1159PM and then wait a single minute and see that yes, it now says Jan 1 2000? Did anybody anywhere have actual problems once the year switched to 2000?

[balki1867]

17 hours ago, Metalhead said:

. My uncle, a retired Air Force Lt. Colonel C-130 pilot, retired Alaska Airlines Captain, and WVU Aeronautical Engineer, just sat there and didn't make a sound.

about ten years ago, I went on a ski trip with a friend and some people I didn’t know. When I got there I learned that it was a situation where someone had rented a condo and then invited friends, who invited friends, etc. there was 3-4 degrees of separation across the entire group and it ended up working great though. One night at dinner we were talking about vaccines, and one guy made a comment essentially saying, “well you don’t know what’s in those things or how well they test them.” I’m pretty sure it was boiler plate conversation-making and not the beginning of some kind of unhinged rant. Regardless, what happened next was glorious. It turned out that one person in the group worked for the cdc in Atlanta and another worked in R&D for a drugmaker— the ensuing verbal beat down was amazing.

[balki1867]

Delete

Edited April 21 by balki1867

[zCommander]

My daughter: Can I have $1000 so I can buy these $900 shoes?

[Pwyl]

My non-technical IT manager in a past role- every time we pushed back on one of her hair brained solutions architecture ideas:  "just write a wrapper around it". 

[PleaseBlitz]

“We should play tequila pong.”

 

That night ended in jail. 

[Simmsy]

Went something like this:

 

Friend: hey, Simmsy. I've lost weight.

Me: Really? How'd you do that?

Friend: I've been riding my bike.

Me: When did you get a bicycle, you ride it around the mountain?

Friend: No, my motorcycle.

Me: Huh?

Friend: I've been losing weight from riding my motorcycle.

Me: You don't lose weight from riding a motorcycle.

Friend: Yeah you do, from balancing and the vibrations.

 

This went on for a while.

[Forehead]

3 hours ago, Simmsy said:

Went something like this:

 

Friend: hey, Simmsy. I've lost weight.

Me: Really? How'd you do that?

Friend: I've been riding my bike.

Me: When did you get a bicycle, you ride it around the mountain?

Friend: No, my motorcycle.

Me: Huh?

Friend: I've been losing weight from riding my motorcycle.

Me: You don't lose weight from riding a motorcycle.

Friend: Yeah you do, from balancing and the vibrations.

 

This went on for a while.

 

Does this person also think they'll get abs from wearing a belt that sends electric jolts into their stomach?

[Busch1724]

Eddie Van Halen is overrated...