Cooked Crack Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 (edited) Quote The world of chess has been rocked by the biggest scandal in years and it involves artificial intelligence and anal beads. Last week, world chess champion Magnus Carlsen, withdrew from a major tournament with a $350,000 prize money after his unexpected defeat by underdog Hans Niemann. Norway’s Carlsen announced his withdrawal in a cryptic tweet with a video implying that Niemann had cheated. The tweet was accompanied by a video of Portuguese soccer manager, José Mourinho, saying, ‘I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble.’ Other big names in the sport declared Niemann’s play ‘sus’, suspicions were raised further when Niemann admitted to cheating twice previously. Chess.com issued a statement that it had banned Niemann from its site over his alleged cheating. Chess enthusiasts online have since gone on to speculate that Niemann may have been cheating with computer assistance and anal beads. Quote Niemann has vehemently denied that he cheated against Carlsen and even went so far as to say that he would play fully naked to prove it. Other chess pros have defended Niemann, calling the allegations a ‘witch hunt’. https://metro.co.uk/2022/09/14/the-internet-thinks-a-chess-grandmaster-cheated-using-anal-beads-17370756/ Edited September 14, 2022 by Cooked Crack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tshile Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 I give up 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 Link is broken Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 Take that, Houston Astros! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bearrock Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 There's apparently a 15 min broadcast delay. Is a professional game long enough to allow this type of cheating? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xameil Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacks 'n' Stuff Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 (edited) Why didn’t I think of that?!?! edit: I just did a little digging, so to speak. Turns out this whole rumor was started by… Elon Musk 🙄 Edited September 14, 2022 by Sacks 'n' Stuff 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade7 Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, PokerPacker said: Link is broken Translation - "I'd like more information on these wireless-enabled vibrating anal beads, but the hyperlink you provided isnt working properly"... Edited September 14, 2022 by Renegade7 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
88Comrade2000 Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 Ansl beads help u win at chess how? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbyrwock Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 10 minutes ago, 88Comrade2000 said: Ansl beads help u win at chess how? The anal beads response counters Magnus's Hillbilly opening. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacks 'n' Stuff Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, 88Comrade2000 said: Ansl beads help u win at chess how? You sound just like the kids in my after school chess club. Always naysaying. Edited September 14, 2022 by Sacks 'n' Stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 1 hour ago, Renegade7 said: Translation - "I'd like more information on these wireless-enabled vibrating anal beads, but the hyperlink you provided isnt working properly"... I thought I had said it quite succinctly. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 I can't believe it... How is it this thread wasn't started by China? 2 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatBuzz Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 1 minute ago, Riggo-toni said: I can't believe it... How is it this thread wasn't started by China? I just assumed it was. Didn't even look. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooked Crack Posted September 14, 2022 Author Share Posted September 14, 2022 Link fixed, guys. I'd like to apologize for not bringing my normal high quality standard to the anal beads chess thread. I'll do better next time 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbear Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 That would certainly go as an all-time thread title, "The Anal Beads Chess Thread." It kind of feels like one of my younger kids' madlibs after it was filled out by my teenage kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llevron Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 All of a sudden @Spaceman Spiff is interested in Chess now lol 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 1 hour ago, Cooked Crack said: Link fixed, guys. I'd like to apologize for not bringing my normal high quality standard to the anal beads chess thread. I'll do better next time 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Califan007 The Constipated Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CobraCommander Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 Why do you need a full set of beads when a simple plug would do the trick? Talk about overkill. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 6 hours ago, Cooked Crack said: The world of chess has been rocked by the biggest scandal in years and it involves artificial intelligence and anal beads. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TradeTheBeal! Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 Skynet Armageddon starting life as an anal beads/chess AI is exactly what I’m expecting from 2024 onward. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted September 14, 2022 Share Posted September 14, 2022 3 hours ago, Llevron said: All of a sudden @Spaceman Spiff is interested in Chess now lol Thanks, Norvell. Appreciate it man. Seriously, you always seemed like a good, level headed dude, liberal at heart and trying to figure out his way in life. Maybe a bit misguided at times, but I always thought of you as a worldly guy who wouldn't ever punch down at someone because of their sexual proclivities. So what if I like anal beads? Know what really gets me going? Chess pieces. Yes, that's right. And I bet you can figure out where I'm headed with that, but I'm not going to further out myself here. Let's just say a little rook and knight combo action is on a different level you've never experienced. So imagine my delight when I came across (no pun intended) this thread. And then you had to go right ahead and call me out and take all of the joy out of it for me. Thanks a lot, Norv. Thanks a lot. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llevron Posted September 15, 2022 Share Posted September 15, 2022 9 hours ago, Spaceman Spiff said: Thanks, Norvell. Appreciate it man. Seriously, you always seemed like a good, level headed dude, liberal at heart and trying to figure out his way in life. Maybe a bit misguided at times, but I always thought of you as a worldly guy who wouldn't ever punch down at someone because of their sexual proclivities. So what if I like anal beads? Know what really gets me going? Chess pieces. Yes, that's right. And I bet you can figure out where I'm headed with that, but I'm not going to further out myself here. Let's just say a little rook and knight combo action is on a different level you've never experienced. So imagine my delight when I came across (no pun intended) this thread. And then you had to go right ahead and call me out and take all of the joy out of it for me. Thanks a lot, Norv. Thanks a lot. How am I a little misguided?? (Lol) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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