Why do so many Americans lack even the slightest amount of empathy?

[SteveFromYellowstone]

I see this everyday in jury trials.  99% of you probably think that juries are naturally sympathetic to injured people, not so.  I would say more like 99% of people are skeptical of other people's pain, and ALSO angry that someone else may "profit" off of an injury.  No one thinks "hey, I actually have it better than this paralyzed guy over there."  Instead, they think "why should he get money when I have all of my problems."  

 

Its quite real.

 

How do you deal with this? I can't imagine how frustrating it could be

[Larry]

Yeah, I understand that the VAST majority of our foreign aid, is in the forms of LOANS, with the string attached that the money must be spent in the US. (And then, if said country does what we tell them to do, for the next 40 years, maybe we'll forgive the loan).

[The Sisko]

Look what happens when you deduct Liberal giving to higher educational foundations. To put into simple terms lets say charitable giving is 450 units by conservatives an 100 units by liberals. That doesn't look good so lets, take away all religious giving by conservatives that evens it up at 100 each now. But if you take away the bequests by Liberals to higher educational institutions (ie Harvard etc). Now the numbers will look more like a 100 for conservatives and 3-5 for liberals.

Bottom-line eliminating religious donations to make liberals look better was always a stupid tactic to use since they were vulnerable to looking even worse when their main giving target was eliminated especially when you consider that much of Religious giving is used for the benefit of the poor and sick while educational charities is much less so.

There's a very valid reason it makes sense to adjust for religious giving - coercion. The person who gives to his university isn't doing so with the threat of hell hanging over his/her head. Likewise, we're not commanded to give 10% of our income by non-religious causes. I'd argue that for the evangelical Xtian, the bulk of which are conservatives, charitable giving simply isn't optional. That's very different from other types of charitable giving.

As for most religious donations being used to benefit the poor, you have zero basis for that assertion. I could say most of it goes toward paying for their buildings and Preachah's salaries but neither of us knows for sure because religious organizations aren't required to disclose that info. and most don't. The best you can offer is "well, that's what we do at my church" which has no bearing on what's happening elsewhere.

[nonniey]

There's a very valid reason it makes sense to adjust for religious giving - coercion. The person who gives to his university isn't doing so with the threat of hell hanging over his/her head. Likewise, we're not commanded to give 10% of our income by non-religious causes. I'd argue that for the evangelical Xtian, the bulk of which are conservatives, charitable giving simply isn't optional. That's very different from other types of charitable giving.

As for most religious donations being used to benefit the poor, you have zero basis for that assertion. I could say most of it goes toward paying for their buildings and Preachah's salaries but neither of us knows for sure because religious organizations aren't required to disclose that info. and most don't. The best you can offer is "well, that's what we do at my church" which has no bearing on what's happening elsewhere.

You need to look up the difference between much and most. I was pointing out a larger percentage of religious giving was provided to helping poor/disadvantage vice the educational giving.

[The Sisko]

Again, you have zero basis for that opinion. After all, it's not as though universities have scholarship programs for poor students, or community works projects and the like so clearly all the money one donates to universities goes to researching the mating habits of purple lemurs in odd numbered years. You're assuming the number for educational help for the poor is zero and hence is automatically outpaced by religious organizations' charitable work. The only problem is you have no idea of what either number is. You can probably look up how much $$$ universities use to support the poor but a reliable number for religious organizations is missing.

Please feel free to prove me wrong.

[The 12th Commandment]

Again, you have zero basis for that opinion. After all, it's not as though universities have scholarship programs for poor students, or community works projects and the like so clearly all the money one donates to universities goes to researching the mating habits of purple lemurs in odd numbered years. You're assuming the number for educational help for the poor is zero and hence is automatically outpaced by religious organizations' charitable work. The only problem is you have no idea of what either number is. You can probably look up how much $$$ universities use to support the poor but a reliable number for religious organizations is missing.

Please feel free to prove me wrong.

Smacks of teaching to fish vs. giving them a fish, no?  

[Dont Taze Me Bro]

I always try to not form opinions of others based on their actions until I can fully understand their situation.  Serious drug habits can be formed by anyone for any reason.  One piece of advice that I received a long long time ago, and live by, is to remind yourself that person is someone's son/daughter, someone's sister/brother, someone's mother/father/grandmother/father, etc. and then ask myself, what if that was my (insert friend/relation) before I say something I may regret and form an opinion before I know all the facts.  

[DM72]

I'm glad someone started a thread on this subject. To a lot of people, if it doesn't affect them, they could care less. Could anyone imagine if their child was Trayvon Martin, there's no way the people who defended Zimmerman, would call that a justifiable homicide. No way, no how.

[grhqofb5]

Our quest for individual rights has led to individualism. Or something profound like that.

[RansomthePasserby]

Look what happens when you deduct Liberal giving to higher educational foundations. To put into simple terms lets say charitable giving is 450 units by conservatives an 100 units by liberals. That doesn't look good so lets, take away all religious giving by conservatives that evens it up at 100 each now. But if you take away the bequests by Liberals to higher educational institutions (ie Harvard etc). Now the numbers will look more like a 100 for conservatives and 3-5 for liberals.

Bottom-line eliminating religious donations to make liberals look better was always a stupid tactic to use since they were vulnerable to looking even worse when their main giving target was eliminated especially when you consider that much of Religious giving is used for the benefit of the poor and sick while educational charities is much less so.

Agreed. You can't eliminate religious giving without taking into account the percentage that goes to homeless shelters, the sick, the unemployed, foreign orphanages, etc.

[SteveFromYellowstone]

Our quest for individual rights has led to individualism. Or something profound like that.

 

I think you're on the right track. It seems like today people are so focused on what they have the "right" to do rather than whats right or best for society. Instead of the "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" we've got more of a "what have you done for me lately" attitude. 

[The Sisko]

Agreed. You can't eliminate religious giving without taking into account the percentage that goes to homeless shelters, the sick, the unemployed, foreign orphanages, etc.

And what exactly is that percentage?

[skinsmarydu]

And what exactly is that percentage?

^^This. It's why I do a greater portion of my charitable giving on the street, up close & personal. I don't trust a benevolence board, (that is supposed to be performing on behalf of one non-judgmental Jesus) judging who gets the charity.

[endzone_dave]

I think life is a lot tougher than it used to be.  You have to worry about sky rocketing health care costs, worry about how the heck you are going to afford putting your kids through college, you have to worry about your company moving your operations overseas, you work longer and longer hours every year, your wife also works long hours so you have much less free time than previous generations.  It's tougher to worry about what's going on with your neighbors down the street or what's happening at the drug rehab center.

 

Also, I look back at the '90s and I don't think people were any more empathetic then they are now.  Lots of people I knew back then worshiped Rush Limbaugh, they had no empathy for other people at all.

[chipwhich]

I think life is a lot tougher than it used to be.  You have to worry about sky rocketing health care costs, worry about how the heck you are going to afford putting your kids through college, you have to worry about your company moving your operations overseas, you work longer and longer hours every year, your wife also works long hours so you have much less free time than previous generations.  It's tougher to worry about what's going on with your neighbors down the street or what's happening at the drug rehab center.

 

Also, I look back at the '90s and I don't think people were any more empathetic then they are now.  Lots of people I knew back then worshiped Rush Limbaugh, they had no empathy for other people at all.

 

Yeah unlike our elders, we now have to worry about carpel tunnel syndrome.  Yeah it's harder today to sit at a computer all day.  Plus some of the desk lighting nowadays gives people migraines. 

[Springfield]

Probably off topic but I think you see a huge lack of empathy when referring to sports.

Sure we root against our rivals. Some of that stuff goes too far. We all know that. What's worse is how we treat our own favorite teams and the players that play for them. I'm guilty of it and I'm sure everyone else on the board is as well.

I've seen time and time again when people will take positions that lack a single shred of sympathy or care for what that player does as a professional. Someone like Orakpo gets ragged on constantly. Even someone like Shanahan, should be shown sympathy towards but we can't. All we see are players and coaches who don't elevate our team. So we hate them, some we hate more than our greatest rivals. I don't get this. It's wrong. In no world should we hate Lavar Arrington more than we hate the Giants as a team.

[endzone_dave]

Yeah unlike our elders, we now have to worry about carpel tunnel syndrome.  Yeah it's harder today to sit at a computer all day.  Plus some of the desk lighting nowadays gives people migraines. 

 

Our elders doing that physical labor would get time and a half for overtime, double pay for the weekends.  Now that work is being done in China.  Which is better?

[BG]

Good thread. I think not enough people think about this issue. I think in our country we are so wrapped up in our own lives, our culture of "getting ahead." Things like being environmentally conscious, health conscious and trendy mask the fact that it is in our nature to look out for one another. We are so "big picture" oriented and we are opinionated and judgemental. That's not to say that we don't give back. We do, but there's always more we can do as individuals.

[Captain James]

I feel like I see this every single day. If it doesn't happen to them, their child, or a person they are very close with, it becomes very difficult for them to empathize.

 

For example even on this forum I see people talk about users and addicts as scum of the earth who should just die and get it over with. I guarantee you if their child became addicted to prescription opiates they would all of a sudden grow a huge amount of understanding and sympathy. Hell I've seen it happen more than once.

 

I always try to put myself in someone else shoes and consider their pov to try and understand their position of argument. I'd say a good amount of people I know don't want to try to understand the plights of others. I think an empathy gap is at the root of many of our political problems.

 

We see it time and time against where a republican politician is stridently anti-gay and says they are all going to hell until of course their child comes out and then they are Mr. Tolerance. I've met people that bash universal care over and over until they are forced to pay a $5000 medical bill for an xray and some aspirin. I'm not saying this is a strictly conservative problem but it seems to happen with them more often.

 

Are humans just naturally selfish? What makes it so hard for some people to even imagine being in someone's shoes other than their own? Am I crazy or does someone understand what I mean?

As someone with a Biblically-based relationship with God, I believe that yes, we are naturally messed up. We suffer under the curse of sin and it's our nature to defy God. I think we need to spend more time (as a culture) spotlighting those who do good and showcasing stories of compassion rather than the mundane negativity that our media continuously displays.

[mcsluggo]

Look what happens when you deduct Liberal giving to higher educational foundations. To put into simple terms lets say charitable giving is 450 units by conservatives an 100 units by liberals. That doesn't look good so lets, take away all religious giving by conservatives that evens it up at 100 each now. But if you take away the bequests by Liberals to higher educational institutions (ie Harvard etc). Now the numbers will look more like a 100 for conservatives and 3-5 for liberals.

Bottom-line eliminating religious donations to make liberals look better was always a stupid tactic to use since they were vulnerable to looking even worse when their main giving target was eliminated especially when you consider that much of Religious giving is used for the benefit of the poor and sick while educational charities is much less so.

 

Your posts are always informative, and hillarious  

 

i am hppy to now be armed with the information that 95 to 97% of charitable giving by liberals is to Harvard University.   Thank you for th e community service.

[s0crates]

Your posts are always informative, and hillarious

i am hppy to now be armed with the information that 95 to 97% of charitable giving by liberals is to Harvard University. Thank you for th e community service.

I had no idea.

[Darth Tater]

We don't lack empathy.  All humans are potential scumbags and we KNOW it so when we see a scumbag, we are frightened because we know that, sans just a little luck, we could be that scumbag.  When we are frightened, humans tend to act aggressively.

[skinsmarydu]

So, everyone knows about the traffic & stranded masses a couple weeks ago here in Atlanta because of our first ice storm. For the storm this week, Governor Deal opened all of the state parks along I-20 (in coordination with our National Guard) as emergency shelters, and was on TV letting everyone know there were 2800 additional beds for the homeless, to find them go to www.....

WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Where are all of these beds in non-storm times? To me, that was the equivalent of saying, "We're here for you when the weather's really ****ty, but when we get all cleared up, you'll be invisible again."~smh

[Burgold]

Frankly, for many it's the bootstraps myth.  For most, Jesus taught everyone to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and wall themselves up from their neighbor.  It's important to remember that giving is supposed to start (and stop) at home.  Also, if you look at the definition of success in this culture it's tied to the accummulation of stuff and wealth.  If that's the case, then you can't give stuff away even if it's earned.  You must not do anything to risk your pile being smaller than the Jone's and in fact, anything you can do to shrink the Jone's pile is all to the good, esp. if you have sufficient guns to protect your pile.

So, everyone knows about the traffic & stranded masses a couple weeks ago here in Atlanta because of our first ice storm. For the storm this week, Governor Deal opened all of the state parks along I-20 (in coordination with our National Guard) as emergency shelters, and was on TV letting everyone know there were 2800 additional beds for the homeless, to find them go to www.....

WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Where are all of these beds in non-storm times? To me, that was the equivalent of saying, "We're here for you when the weather's really ****ty, but when we get all cleared up, you'll be invisible again."~smh

 

Well, it's a good thing that he did that.  Not only did he open up these beds which are otherwise unavailable, but he made sure that the homeless knew how to get there.  After all, how many homeless people can't whip out their smartphone, look up the appropriate internet address, climb into their minivan and drive to a state park to take advantage of the free bed.

 

The people are hungry.  They have no bread.

 

Let them eat cake.

[skinsmarydu]

Frankly, for many it's the bootstraps myth.  For most, Jesus taught everyone to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and wall themselves up from their neighbor.  It's important to remember that giving is supposed to start (and stop) at home.  Also, if you look at the definition of success in this culture it's tied to the accummulation of stuff and wealth.  If that's the case, then you can't give stuff away even if it's earned.  You must not do anything to risk your pile being smaller than the Jone's and in fact, anything you can do to shrink the Jone's pile is all to the good, esp. if you have sufficient guns to protect your pile.

 

Well, it's a good thing that he did that.  Not only did he open up these beds which are otherwise unavailable, but he made sure that the homeless knew how to get there.  After all, how many homeless people can't whip out their smartphone, look up the appropriate internet address, climb into their minivan and drive to a state park to take advantage of the free bed.

 

The people are hungry.  They have no bread.

 

Let them eat cake.

Sarcasm meter needed a jump, but is now operating at full capacity.