Neighbor sucks balls..thread for this?

[bakedtater1]

So is there a thread for ****ty neigbors..if not i need someone to talk to...

[Cooked Crack]

You might as well give us the goods on your ****ty neighbor. How else we going to judge?

[Spaceman Spiff]

Yeah, you can't start a thread like this without letting us know what's going on.  

 

And who's house we gotta TP.  Tailgate Squad is fierce.  

[TK]

This ain't gonna end well...

[bearrock]

6 minutes ago, TK said:

This ain't gonna end well...

The match between this post and TK's avatar is internet gold

[TradeTheBeal!]

My neighbor is a nice enough guy...retired from Phillip Morris, does a lot of RVing with his charming wife Earline, makes a mean Oyster Stew.

 

BUT...he has a giant Tea Party flag on a big ass flagpole in his front yard and, even worse, he’s a rabid Steeler fan.

 

Still, I can’t complain.

[CRobi21]

Neighbor is crazy cat lady, doesn't disclude strays. She'll feed any animal that is brave enough to approach.

 

Stray cats hiding under cars can scare the **** out of you.

[TheGreatBuzz]

7 minutes ago, TryTheBeal! said:

BUT...he has a giant Tea Party flag on a big ass flagpole

 

I didn't know the Tea Party had a flag.

 

**haha.  I googled "idiot flag" to post something funny.  It came up with a bunch of Confederate flag pictures.

[Momma There Goes That Man]

My first apartment my neighbor invited me over and I sat there as he smoked weed, cut chicken for quesadillas he was making for a party that night and had porn going on a projector on his bedroom wall. I was told stories of how he got knocked out in a fight by a guy with brass knuckles the weekend before and his face was still

****ed up from it. 

 

Now I have a strict policy of never talking to or making eye contact with neighbors. I don’t need your sugar, your lawnmower, anything. I’ll figure it out. It’s just not that important that I meet you. 

 

Ive had this policy at all of my apartments since and now after moving to my first house too. 

 

And some of those along the way were the best neighbors I’ve ever had. We still never talk sometimes 

 

its for the best 

[Spaceman Spiff]

11 minutes ago, Momma There Goes That Man said:

My first apartment my neighbor invited me over and I sat there as he smoked weed, cut chicken for quesadillas he was making for a party that night and had porn going on a projector on his bedroom wall. I was told stories of how he got knocked out in a fight by a guy with brass knuckles the weekend before and his face was still

****ed up from it. 

 

Now I have a strict policy of never talking to or making eye contact with neighbors. I don’t need your sugar, your lawnmower, anything. I’ll figure it out. It’s just not that important that I meet you. 

 

Ive had this policy at all of my apartments since and now after moving to my first house too. 

 

And some of those along the way were the best neighbors I’ve ever had. We still never talk sometimes 

 

its for the best 

 

You lived next to @Sacks 'n' Stuff?

[Springfield]

All of my neighbors are great, they always wave and say hi and their kids are nice.  It’s ****ing nuts going from a condo (lots of drunks and rowdiness), to a townhouse (nobody really talked to each other except randomly), to a single family upper class home (everyone waves and is super nice).

 

Last year a tree fell on my neighbor’s house and killed her.  It was sad.

[Mr. Sinister]

Thankfully the closest neighbor to me these days is about 110 yds. Last altercation I had with a neighbor was back when I still lived in Waldorf. That one didnt end well as I ended up in handcuffs. I don't regret it, though. Guy was drunk and being an asshole.

 

The neighbors now only annoy me with their relaxed attitude towards their own privacy.

[PokerPacker]

I don't hate my neighbors so much as I hate living in an apartment complex with paper-thin walls to the point where I can here my upstairs neighbor screwing for 20 seconds at a time, and I can hear the crunching of leaves as people walk on the sidewalk below even though I'm on the third floor.

[twa]

who screws for 20 seconds?

[PokerPacker]

4 minutes ago, twa said:

who screws for 20 seconds?

I'm not here to judge, just to report facts.

[Sacks 'n' Stuff]

22 minutes ago, twa said:

who screws for 20 seconds?

Yeah, really. That dude is a machine.

2 hours ago, Spaceman Spiff said:

You lived next to @Sacks 'n' Stuff?

I thought the same thing until the part about getting knocked out with brass knuckles. When I tell stories about fights, I always win.

[tshile]

Neighbors now are awesome. Owning multiple acres allows for people to not irritate each other as easily or as often. 

 

At the old house I had some nice neighbors but hated the neighborhood. No one took care of their yard, which is a problem from a neighborhood appeal and value perspective. But it’s also a problem if you care about your yard. It’s hard to keep a nice lawn when you’re surrounded by weed infested neighbors that don’t bother to cut their grass in a reasonable manner. 

 

We had an hoa but no one participated. And everyone ****ed that they hoa didn’t do anything. Sort of hard when no one shows up to vote and you can’t hold a vote due to the turnout. 

 

One time I had to walk around and knock on doors and ask people to either fill out and give me the mail-in ballot they never mailed in, or to take one I had and quickly fill it out. We needed x % to do anything on the topic and something needed to be done. 

 

I worked all day. Picked my 1 year old up from daycare. Went home and walked around the neighborhood carrying him for 2 hours. Didn’t even have time to make dinner. One woman told me that it was annoying I knocked on her door. 

 

I told her it was annoying I had to carry my child around the neighboring knocking on her door because she couldn’t fulfill a 5th grade level of responsibility. She was speechless. **** her. Pathetic excuse for an adult. 

 

People didn’t trim their bushes along the side walk which made running awful, same for walking with a stroller. People parked their cars in their driveway in such a way it blocked you’re ability to cross using the sidewalks, forcing you to hop curbs. 

 

The lazy ness of it all was just incredible. 

 

One guy cut his grass like 3 time a summer. We’re talking waste high grass where weeds turned into bushes. Our hoa covenants were poorly written such that it was hard to get people on that because technically once they cut their grass the matter was considered resolved, so when he didn’t cut his grass again it was a new matter. We finally altered the rules just enough that we got him on it. He had to come to our meeting to discuss why a grown man can’t cut his ****ing grass. 

 

So about 20 minutes before the meeting I walked over and took pictures of just how bad his yard was. I see him run out of his house. Jump in his car. Back out to the street. I see his equally pathetic girlfriend run out of the house waving and screaming. He stops. She yells “don’t forget your cane!” He hops out, car in the street, runs up and gets his cane. Runs back to the car and heads to the meeting. 

 

At the meeting he’s called in. He limps in with his cane. Tells us this sob story about how he has a cane and cutting grass is difficult with his condition. 

 

I asked him if it was so bad how come he forgot his cane? He was confused and indicated he didn’t forget it. I then recounted the story to him and the board. He was caught off guard to say the least. Guy cut his grass from then on. 

 

God that whole thing was such a joke. He didn’t even own the house. The people that owned it and lived there for a long time moved out of state. I believe this guys pathetic girlfriend was their daughter.

 

anyways, because he was technically a renter we had to send all these correspondence to him as well as the dude with the cane. So the owner finally sent us this goofy letter from his “laywer” (if you’ve ever dealt with lawyers you know what legal correspondence looks like, and this looked like some dude who thought he was smarter than he is just wrote up a fake letter and though everyone else was dumb enough to buy his nonsense)

 

he chewed us out about how it’s a privately financed situation (of course no one has any paperwork that indicates this) and that “you don’t send these to anyone else’s mortgage lenders! Do you send these to BB&T? Or Bank of America? No! If this continues it will be considered harassment!!”

 

i simply responded by pointing out that, as everyone who’s bought a house with an hoa knows, and you surely know since you’ve done that at least once, the banks have you sign for sole responsibility for the hoa covenants and releasing the bank from any responsibility. I asked if he had that paperwork with the renter? If so, we would stop sending him copies of the correspondence. 

 

Of course he had no paperwork. He was fuming mad. It was great. Dropping his letter off at the post office that was a copy of the one we sent to the renters about how they needed to fix the fact that the gutters had literally fallen off the house and were in the bushes 3 weeks after his blowup was easily the thing that brought me the greatest joy while being on the board. I volunteered to take it to the post office. I only wish I could have seen him open it. 

 

The best thing about stupid people is they don’t know they’re stupid. They think their poorly thought out tricks will fool people and when they don’t, they just double down. Because they don’t get it. 

[Springfield]

Jesus @tshile, I don’t join the hoa board so I purposefully won’t have to deal with crap like that.  Luckily, all of my surrounding neighbors are good about curb appeal.  My community’s hoa is really strict too, I think they’ve got a good grasp on keeping people in check.

 

Our biggest problem as a community in my last 3 years has been our trash company.  Apparently American Disposal got bought out and qos suddenly dropped.  We would have delayed pick ups, missed pick ups and stuff like that.  The hoa cancelled that contract as soon as they could find another company to pick it up.

[tshile]

Honestly in 4.5 years that was quite literally the only real issue we had with neighbors. We were super relaxed on everything. We had rules that said exterior work including major landscaping (like removing trees) had to be approved. But if someone didn’t get approval we just asked them to send us a request via email after the fact so we could officially approve it and put it in their file so 2 years down the line some jerks couldn’t take over the board and make you rip out your fence (or whatever) cause you didn’t have approval. 

 

The only other issues were keeping track of dues and trying to get contractors to actually send quotes and then actually do the work. 

 

And trying to figure out what we could do to raise the level of engagement with the community. There was a lot of turnover with the housing crisis and engagement went from reasonable level to 0. 

[Malapropismic Depository]

3 hours ago, CRobi21 said:

Stray cats hiding under cars can scare the **** out of you.

 

Starting car engines can scare the **** out of cats sleeping in the engine fan, too.

[PokerPacker]

34 minutes ago, Malapropismic Depository said:

 

Starting car engines can scare the **** out of cats sleeping in the engine fan, too.

I've only heard sad stories from family that lived on a farm.  I'd prefer to pretend everything went great and the cats lived happily and never were "surprised" by heavy machinery.

[stoshuaj]

I Worked law enforcement in S Fl a long time ago.  At the time was driving unmarked, not working uniform, believe I may have had a porn stash working.  Move in the neighborhood and guy gets chatty, kept bugging me to come over to chill out, “you know, smoke a little”.  

 

I didn’t say anything.  Bigger issues then jamming my neighbor up.  Invited him over and “accidentally” left my freshly dry cleaned uniform sitting on the couch.

 

Not a word was said but watching the reaction from across the room was good stuff.  Not really a neighbor sucks story, I know.  He was all right, but didn’t hang around much after that.

[Malapropismic Depository]

5 hours ago, TK said:

This ain't gonna end well...

 

Can't end worse than his fiasco of his cell phone getting run over.

 

5 hours ago, bakedtater1 said:

So is there a thread for ****ty neigbors..if not i need someone to talk to...

 

How bad can it be, if you live in Idaho ? Aren't neighbors usually at least 300 yards apart ? Or was it your neighbor than ran over your cell phone on that gravel road ?

[Dr. Do Itch Big]

I thought this was going to be about getting their testicales sucked by their neighbor. 

[TheGoodBits]

5 hours ago, tshile said:

Owning multiple acres allows for people to not irritate each other as easily or as often. 

 

You’d certainly think so. I’m on 15 acres (lot is narrow and long so “lives” more like a 3-4 acre lot). With summer foliage I literally cannot see another house from my porch. My road one lane and is not paved. 

 

I generally have ok neighbors. It’s typically very quiet back in my hollow. However I do have the following (minor) quibbles with the local Homo sapiens population: 

 

-one set of neighbors from further back on the road has kind of a weird vibe... like they have a “perfect family” facade but the husband is secretly abusive or something like that. Can’t put my finger on it. But what annoys the piss out of me is that both the husband and wife drive approx 40mph down our road, where we’ll frequently be walking with our kids. Mind you, they live *maybe* 300 yards back on the road so they probably only save themselves 10-15 seconds by driving twice as fast as they should. 

 

-my next door neighbor, who is an attorney and a seemingly smart/accomplished guy, frequently BLASTS conservative radio on his back porch. Like, how the **** can you listen to this and why does it have to be so loud? I’ve been forced to listen to numerous Trump rallies when out in the yard with my kids. There’s a real mental illness involved in everything about Trump’s support and it’s disheartening to hear it firsthand. 

 

-not my immediate neighbors, but the last two days someone’s apparently gotten a new ATV to play with because they’ve been driving it all around. Two people riding on it simultaneously, no helmets, going up and down my dirt road faster than my above-mentioned neighbors. They finally stopped at some point yesterday, hopefully after crashing into a ditch.