twa Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I hosted a few and allowed my kids to drink at home(not advisable from a legal liability standpoint of course) I believe in teaching responsibility and self control,part of that is absolutely no one leaves till sober. Only had one larger one (which was the last after one kid escaped and had to be tracked down) My parents strictly forbade drinking and certainly would not allow a party w/liquor.....all three of us boys simply went somewhere else and drank. My wife's were more tolerant....and wiser imo Of course if you are not willing to remain sober and awake to watch over them it is ill advised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont Taze Me Bro Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I will drink all of you under the table. Edit to stay on topic: All of your kids too. We talking straight chugging, or longevity? Mixing beer and shots? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PF Chang Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Wow. That Smoking Gun story's proving that truth is stranger than fiction. How many crimes are being committed simultaneously at 3:30 AM in that story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 My parents gave me the leeway to stay over somewhere if I had been drinking. They didn't care, just wanted the phone call. This is what mine did. They only got mad when i did it, like, every day for an entire summer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PF Chang Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 They could go to college and go all-out, that is to be expected. Once they get that freshman year out of their system get your ass back on track. A freshman in college is still a teenager, and the concern is that getting it out of your system tends to be much more dangerous when there is zero experience with alcohol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoodBits Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 My kid isn't getting here til Feb so we'll see how my opinion changes over the next 16 years, but I could absolutely see having his teenager friends hanging out in my basement with beer available (with their parents consent). I recall my first experiences with alcohol as a teenager. I'm lucky I'm not dead. If they're out and there are no adult anywhere, there is no moderation. Kids who have limited experience with alcohol, and no moderation, do stupid things and end up dead. I don't want my kid to make the same mistakes I did, with potentially much worse consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont Taze Me Bro Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 This is one of those topics where there's like... collective amnesia about what it's like to be 17-18 years old. Obviously they are going to try to drink, and unless you are an overly controlling parent whose kid can't leave the house, they're probably going to find a way. Think honestly about all the things you did as a teenager. My parents weren't controlling. Depends on the kid and if they are easily influenced by peer pressure. I was not, if my friends tried to make fun of me for not drinking, so be it. Most didn't though, so it was all good. Also, for me, I watched my cousin start drinking prior to 21 and all the mess he made of his life back then. He was 6 years older than me, so I was 13/14 at the time. First, he partied so hard his freshman year, he got kicked out of college all together. Then he started living with our grandmother (who lived next door to us), was age 19/20. I remember him not coming home until 7am, piss drunk, my grandmother at my house worried sick about him. My uncle lived in Charlotte at the time, we still lived in our home town about 1.5-2 hours away. After the second time it happened, my grandmother kicked him out and told him to move back to Charlotte. He finally got his **** together, but it was a long tough life lesson and rocky road on getting his **** back on track (back in college, etc.). That alone made me not want to touch the stuff even more. Like I said, I started late and partied hard, but I was drinking legally at that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamebreaker Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 A freshman in college is still a teenager, and the concern is that getting it out of your system tends to be much more dangerous when there is zero experience with alcohol.Speaking as an adult who enjoys the occasional wine and a little beer, but refuses to drink enough to get drunk, I would much rather my kids (currently 5,4 and due in January) to abstain all together. Once they get in college they are no longer under my roof and my hope is that I've engrained enough common sense to prevent a bad situation from happening. Don't get me wrong, I was drinking my ass off in college, but I didn't drink at all before college and never got caught up in a bad situation. I don't buy this narrative that my personal experience is impossible to achieve. In my experience from friends I knew in college who drank as teens, some of their stories are just as tragic as the college ones. Girls getting sexually assaulted, drunken driving. So somehow it's better that they're younger and less mature when they potentially encounter these situations? I don't buy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PF Chang Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Good points Taze/Gamebreaker. Going to be a tough call for me if/when I have kids. It may come down to my perception of their maturity at the time -- can they handle this responsibly or is this a disaster brewing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chew Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 when i'd come home to visit while in the military (I was 19), my dad would take me and my bros to the store and buy us some yak. We had an understanding that nobody was leaving home once we started drinking. we'd just get drunk on the back porch and chill. no rowdy or crazy stuff. some of yall like to jump off the roof or get shot with BB guns when you're drunk... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbs Hog Heaven Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I will drink all of you under the table. Edit to stay on topic: All of your kids too. I'll take your weak ass American beer and raise you a proper, Continental battle hardened Liverpudlian drinker. You may drink these under the table, but I'm the only one walking out of there to get breakfast in the morning before we get back on it! . Hail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chew Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 beer? da ****? how about we each chug a pint of whiskey in less than a minute see who is still awake and functional 10 minutes later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tshile Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 heh, teach your kids not to drink... good luck with that. that's like thinking abstinence is all your kids need for sex ed. sure, that works in some, maybe even many, circumstances. unfortunately for that to work it takes both sides to want it to work. the number of kids i went to high school with whose parents thought they 'taught them better', and felt they were confirmed in that because their precious kid was captain of this team, student body president, had straight A's and was going to a 4 year university.... but were sneaking out, doing drugs, drinking, going to school high, etc.... hah. but good job for those it works for, both the kid and the parent(s). but that doesn't work for everyone and unfortunately most parents don't seem to realize it didn't work for their kid until it's too late to do anything about it. edit: hell, i was involved in sports mostly through high school, had good grades, good SAT, eagle scout, etc.. my parents were surprised... eventually... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont Taze Me Bro Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 heh, teach your kids not to drink... good luck with that. that's like thinking abstinence is all your kids need for sex ed. sure, that works in some, maybe even many, circumstances. unfortunately for that to work it takes both sides to want it to work. the number of kids i went to high school with whose parents thought they 'taught them better', and felt they were confirmed in that because their precious kid was captain of this team, student body president, had straight A's and was going to a 4 year university.... but were sneaking out, doing drugs, drinking, going to school high, etc.... hah. but good job for those it works for, both the kid and the parent(s). but that doesn't work for everyone and unfortunately most parents don't seem to realize it didn't work for their kid until it's too late to do anything about it. Nobody said it worked for everyone, cause thinking so is naive. Some kids will listen and keep the straight and narrow path, some will not and lie about it successfully, some will just be straight up bad seeds. Cycle of life. But it doesn't hurt to educate and teach your child and warn them about the dangers, while also being protective and understanding if they do submit to peer pressure that you are there for them and they can depend on you, as a parent, to get them home safely and work though everything. Drinking for me before 21, didn't happen. For the reasons I stated above. Did I have sex in high school, chase tail, etc. Absolutely. You have to find a medium, not encouraging said acts, but encouraging your child to trust you to help them regardless of what potentially bad situation they may get themselves into. Always have to have a pulse on whats going on in your kids life, up with all the latest tech, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 beer? da ****? how about we each chug a pint of whiskey in less than a minute see who is still awake and functional 10 minutes later. a pint?...that will barely wet my thirst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tshile Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Nobody said it worked for everyone, cause thinking so is naive. Right, but what was said was: "All you can do is teach them to not do it and keep tabs on them AKA be involved in their life." And it just reminds me of a lot of parents of people I grew up with, and some parents I know now. They have this idea that they're capable of keeping tabs, or that those that don't its because they're just not involved and/or don't care. Or that kids that do party must have parents that never thought to discuss alcohol and drugs with them. When I grew up damn near everyone was doing something wrong on some level. Many of us on multiple levels. And while some of us had crappy parents, many of us had awesome parents. They were just entirely too wrapped up in the idea that they actually knew what was going on. Often times they didn't. Our senior class president was hauled out of class during a drug search with dogs in the parking lot. They hit on her car. They didn't find anything. Damn near every parents and teacher that knew about it (and were close enough to know most of the more popular people) were convinced the dogs just had it wrong and the poor girl was just being harassed for no reason. The rest of us, the people who actually were in the know, knew those dogs weren't wrong. They just smoked all the weed before they got to school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 heh, teach your kids not to drink... good luck with that. that's like thinking abstinence is all your kids need for sex ed. sure, that works in some, maybe even many, circumstances. unfortunately for that to work it takes both sides to want it to work. the number of kids i went to high school with whose parents thought they 'taught them better', and felt they were confirmed in that because their precious kid was captain of this team, student body president, had straight A's and was going to a 4 year university.... but were sneaking out, doing drugs, drinking, going to school high, etc.... hah. but good job for those it works for, both the kid and the parent(s). but that doesn't work for everyone and unfortunately most parents don't seem to realize it didn't work for their kid until it's too late to do anything about it. edit: hell, i was involved in sports mostly through high school, had good grades, good SAT, eagle scout, etc.. my parents were surprised... eventually... I'd prefer my kids never drank and practiced abstinence until married, but I prepared them for eventualities. Never really understood the cool parents meme....I doubt mine ever thought I was cool.......a over bearing hardass would be closer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Kev Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 The word "Teen" is so emotive. 13 or 14 year old teens are still children and IMO shouldn't be given alcohol. 18 or 19 year old teens are adults and as such can make their own decisions. No matter how old you are, drinking and driving is a no-no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 No matter how old you are, drinking and driving is a no-no. Unless you're on the golf course. FORE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipwhich Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I know a lot of parents whose kids didn't drink until they were 21 and their daughters were virgins until they were 21. I promised myself I would never be that naive parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRAVEONTHEWARPATH93 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 My mom was strict as hell growing up and I went to a strict school so me and my friends never even saw alcohol Til college... And damn was college a revelation. I was dating this girl freshman year and her mom used to drop off bottles of vodka every weekend Tripped me the **** out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I don't drink hardly ever, anymore. Bout as far as I'll go is a bottle of merlot. Won't be anything for them to swipe from the cabinet. The teaching would start with me, setting the example. Glass of wine on the holidays at 15-16? Don't see the harm. But no beer/liquor. And yeah, the fear of what happens when they take that inevitable first sip, or are around people who are incredibly intoxicated is legit, but at a certain point, you have to allow them to make their own decisions, and hope that they fall back on your teachings. That fear would not cause me to to do domething irrational like give them a beer or host party with other kids. That is just completely ridiculous to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 That fear would not cause me to to do domething irrational like give them a beer or host party with other kids. That is just completely ridiculous to me. What are your(or any others opposed to supervised teen drinking) feelings on contraception and sex ed for kids? I respect your position, I've taught abstinence,but not abstinence only Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 What are your(or any others opposed to supervised teen drinking) feelings on contraception and sex ed for kids? I respect your position, I've taught abstinence,but not abstinence only I think kids are inevitably going to dabble in things you don't want them to. But I still think its important to instill knowledge in them, and as best you can, make them aware of lifes vices and easy pitfalls (contraception/abstinence being among them) providing a solid foundation and being their example. I think its incredibly easy for a child to tune you out when you dont necessarily practice what you preach. Your children are a reflection of you afterall. As for the abstinence discussion, I can see the parallels to the alcohol issue. I guess in thus instance it would be like a parent giving their kids condoms, which I would also never do. I think you lay the ground rules, teach them (no later than 13) about sex, relationships, and the consequences of unprotected sex, and the hardships that result. Convey to them the seriousness of it, but again, realize that there's only so much you can do. Its a door they have to walk through, and I think its on the parent to show them the right path, and the wrong path, but to not push them along or impede them. I think both hold different sets if consequences Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooleyfan1993 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Yeah I don't drink, but I think as long as the parents make sure everyone stays the night (confiscating the keys) it shouldn't be a problem. There are just some dumb parents in this world. My brother and sister both drank in high school, and were responsible doing it, as to not drive home drunk. You have to teach ur kids that you don't need to drink to have fun. Exactly. There are much safer ways to have fun, in smoking form Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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