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I'm volunteering my services to the right wing posters here


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Over the last month, it's become obvious to me that the right wing poster on this board need help. They need someone who can take facts and translate those facts into a cogent, well-stated argument. They need someone who knows the difference between a fact and an opinion. They need someone that understands syllogistic reasoning and who can write in paragraph form.

Right wing posters also need someone who understands Right-wing, Conservative arguments. Because, honestly, you people don't seem to even know what you believe. You need someone who has read Edmund Burke and Adam Smith. You need someone who has read a ridiculous about of William F. Buckley for no apparent reason. You need someone with a collection of George Will books that consistently puzzle his wife. You need someone that knows the difference between a paleo-con, a neo-con, a so-con, and an economic conservative. You need someone who understands that libertarians are neither conservatives nor Republicans nor electable and thus irrelevant to nearly any discussion.

In other words, they need me. (Or Predicto but I doubt he would be interested in a project this goddamn stupid).

Therefore, I am volunteering my services for one week.

If you are a right-wing poster and you are trying to make a point in a thread but you know that you are failing miserably due to the fact that you really don't have any idea what the hell you are talking about...you may PM me and I will come rushing to the thread and make the argument that you are failing to make.

I'm considering setting up a paypal account as a way to charge for these services but that seems a tad obnoxious even for me.

So...trying to explain why that picture on the RNC website of Obama eating Watermelon is NOT racist...call me.

Trying to argue how Medicare Part D is not an example of Republicans exploding government spending...call me.

Trying to justify increasing defense spending at a time of unprecedented debt...call me.

Trying to justify putting armed soldiers on the boarder or making Muslims sign a loyalty pledge...call me.

Trying to make anything Sarah Palin said into a coherent thought...you may call me but I'm not the Goddamn Miracle Worker.

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At the same time, I will be volunteering my services to all of the rational and kind posters on the forum. If you're having trouble channeling your inner condescending jackass, send me a PM and I'll jump in and help.

This offer is good through May

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I think you should take about 10 random posts by NavyDave and translate them into cogent, reasoned right wing arguments. That should take you about two and a half months.

"Damnit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!"

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I wonder if what's really happening is that LKB, in spite of himself, is crying to come out of the conservative closet. Like a young boy struggling with his sexuality looking at pictures of Brad Pitt, LKB finds himself getting wood whenever he reads William F. Buckley. Now he's testing his right wings.


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Therefore' date=' I am volunteering my services for one week.[/quote']

Sorry bro, I only need one ass (my own). Plus, as a conservative I'm not going to beg you to give me something I didn't earn for free. Of course if you did give me something, at least I'd try to use it to make myself a better person. I'm sure that's foreign to your people. ;)

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