Major Harris Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 :laugh: :laugh: i should have said "sorry i don't have one for each of you." :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan T. Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 A girl I used to know told me a pretty astute axiom: You've reached a new stage in a relationship with someone else when you feel comfortable enough to fart in their presence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumrunner6900 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Man....my stomach muscles already hurt from a previous activity which will remain nameless... this thread has em hurting even worse though! Crop dusting...classic...haven't heard that in a while! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: As for the dutch oven (also known as the "covered wagon"), in my 4 years of marriage, I have never subjected my wife to that! I'm saving it for the perfect moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 A girl I used to know told me a pretty astute axiom:You've reached a new stage in a relationship with someone else when you feel comfortable enough to fart in their presence. Definitely. You've reached a new plateau when you can fart in front of your chick. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 My daughter giggled hysterically when the dog lets one go, and looks behind her in confussion as to where the noise came from. Oh she knows where it came from, she's just trying to play it off on someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stophovr6 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 My favorite thing to do is to let a nasty one out with my girlfriend in the car. Once it hits her, I hold the button for her window on my controls which nulifies her attempt to roll down her power window. Oh the joy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Oh man...fart humor is so funny. How can anyone not find flatulence amusing?? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: This thread is KILLING me!! :laugh: :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Williams Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 My wife throws'm down like no other.........drives me nutz cuz' she supposed to be this prissy upper class snot ........... I never thought I would see someone in a gucci thong fart until I met my wife..... love at first sight:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumrunner6900 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 My wife throws'm down like no other.........drives me nutz cuz' she supposed to be this prissy upper class snot ...........I never thought I would see someone in a gucci thong fart until I met my wife..... love at first sight:laugh: That's hot :puke: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyholetsgogrant Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 My wife throws'm down like no other.........drives me nutz cuz' she supposed to be this prissy upper class snot ...........I never thought I would see someone in a gucci thong fart until I met my wife..... love at first sight:laugh: Pictures with sound effects would be great lol :puke: I cant imagine what those things smell like :puke: -Grant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeSellers45 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Man, this ais a great thread. I don't have any fart stories of my own, my my dad and brother do. One day when my brother was at class in college, he did one of those silent but deadly ones in a temporary and cleared it out. They had the windows and doors open and 5 minutes later when they went back in, it still stunk just as bad. But my dad is pretty good. He has worked for Verizon since 1969 and he and is buddy used to be in the same truck together for work. They would eat pickled eggs and stuff the night before and just sit in the truck with the windows up and stink eachother out all day. Sometimes he would fart at bars and stuff and clear them out, and once some guy said "If that was you, you need to go see a doctor. You've got a real problem." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 But my dad is pretty good. He has worked for Verizon since 1969 and he and is buddy used to be in the same truck together for work. They would eat pickled eggs and stuff the night before and just sit in the truck with the windows up and stink eachother out all day. Actually, that explains a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeSellers45 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Actually, that explains a lot. Huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DWinzit Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I have one that was possibly my most embarrassing moment. A number of years ago I worked on the 12th story of a building. Myself and a coworker buddy got on the elevator in the basement and pressed 12. The elevator stopped at the first floor (main lobby), and six females ranging in age from 20-40 got on and pressed the 9th floor. As we were ascending, my buddy pressed 4, the car stopped and he jumped out saying he had to get something. The doors had not completely closed when I realized what happened. I silently stood there for five floors while the women began noticing, wincing and giving me dirty looks. As they filed out and the doors were almost closed, I heard one say "he is gross". I have run this through my head 100 times and can't believe I never said a word, just stood there beet red! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinklein Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I read this thread and all of a sudden just started ripping them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I have one that was possibly my most embarrassing moment. A number of years ago I worked on the 12th story of a building. Myself and a coworker buddy got on the elevator in the basement and pressed 12. The elevator stopped at the first floor (main lobby), and six females ranging in age from 20-40 got on and pressed the 9th floor. As we were ascending, my buddy pressed 4, the car stopped and he jumped out saying he had to get something.The doors had not completely closed when I realized what happened. I silently stood there for five floors while the women began noticing, wincing and giving me dirty looks. As they filed out and the doors were almost closed, I heard one say "he is gross". I have run this through my head 100 times and can't believe I never said a word, just stood there beet red! you got buttowned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brave Little Toaster Oven Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I went to a HS play one time, and I had horrible stomach pains until intermission when I let some rip outside, when the show started up again, I had to fart again, and I couldn't hold it in. The seats were the hard plastic kind, so when I let it rip, it made a nice tapping sound on the seat :laugh: but the best part was when I heard the mother behind me slap her kid because she thought he farted :laugh: and his face was priceless because he didn't know what she was talking about :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 One of the buildings in my high school was really old...there were pipes running along the ceiling of this hallway in the basement. Me and two of my buddies had just finished taking a science test and are standing out in the hallway when one of them leaps up and grabs the pipe hanging from the ceiling. Our other unsuspecting friend was standing directly in front of him, completely unaware of what was about to occur. My buddy hanging from the pipe starts swinging back and forth, much like a gymnast would. Faster and faster he goes until he pulls his legs up, spreads them wide and puts his ass INCHES away from this other guys face and rips the loudest nastiest fart. ****ing hilarious, I laughed so hard I almost puked. The best is you're sitting in close quarters with someone and you let one rip and jump and look at the other person like they did it. Works like a charm. Also...act like you have a really big sneeze coming, "Ahhh...ahhh...ahh..." And then let one fly. Guaranteed laughs every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinklein Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I went to a HS play one time, and I had horrible stomach pains until intermission when I let some rip outside, when the show started up again, I had to fart again, and I couldn't hold it in. The seats were the hard plastic kind, so when I let it rip, it made a nice tapping sound on the seat :laugh: but the best part was when I heard the mother behind me slap her kid because she thought he farted :laugh: and his face was priceless because he didn't know what she was talking about :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: ****ing hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 The best is you're sitting in close quarters with someone and you let one rip and jump and look at the other person like they did it. Works like a charm. won't work for me. i can't keep a straight face when i fart. just can't. i've been practicing that technique with my 2 year old, blaming him. i still can't keep a straight face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I have one that was possibly my most embarrassing moment. A number of years ago I worked on the 12th story of a building. Myself and a coworker buddy got on the elevator in the basement and pressed 12. The elevator stopped at the first floor (main lobby), and six females ranging in age from 20-40 got on and pressed the 9th floor. As we were ascending, my buddy pressed 4, the car stopped and he jumped out saying he had to get something.The doors had not completely closed when I realized what happened. I silently stood there for five floors while the women began noticing, wincing and giving me dirty looks. As they filed out and the doors were almost closed, I heard one say "he is gross". I have run this through my head 100 times and can't believe I never said a word, just stood there beet red! quite possibly the best fart story ever. i have another item on my "must do" list. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stwasm Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Call me a killjoy, but I can't understand for the life of me how an adult can just "let one rip" in an office full of people. Not only is it embarrassing, it's ill-mannered. The CEO of my agency did that in my boss' office and he ran out of there REAL quick! :doh: She was totally mortified! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrFan Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Here we Fart Hail to the Redbeans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Call me a killjoy, but I can't understand for the life of me how an adult can just "let one rip" in an office full of people. Not only is it embarrassing, it's ill-mannered. The CEO of my agency did that in my boss' office and he ran out of there REAL quick! :doh: She was totally mortified! You're a killjoy. Farts are not only funny, but perfectly natural, and the world would be a better place if everyone would just admit it. That said, if John and his burrito of two hours ago are stinking up the joint, maybe they need to get some self control or go take care of business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 :laugh: Some comedian (can't remember who) said that if god didn't want us to laugh at farts, why did he make them sound so funny?? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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