Best line from scriptwriters

[Larry]

Something I saw elsewhere, made me want to come start this thread here. 

 

My nominee:  Star Trek TOS, "The Naked Time. The "Sulu with a sword" episode. Sulu comes to the bridge with a sword. Uhura stands, and tries to talk him down. 

 

Susu grabs her, and holds her to his side. 

 

Sulu:  I'll protect you, fair maiden!

 

Uhura tries to push him away

 

Uhura:  Sorry. Neither.

[TradeTheBeal!]

“How terrible is wisdom, when it brings no profit to the wise?” ~ Louis Cipher

[Fergasun]

Breakup scene From "Chasing Amy" (the entire scene is written so well, but I'll go with the closing lines):

 

Alyssa: What the f@$k is your problem!?!?!

 

Holden:  I want us to be something that we can't be.

 

Alyssa:  and what's that!?!?

 

Holden:  A normal couple. (walks away)

 

Alyssa:  F####!!kkkkk!!!  (walks in other direction and emotionally collapses against a car and on the ground)...

 

 

 

I know I will get ripped on for being a Kevin Smith stan, but the period in my life there was something about his movies (and I am talking mainly about the Jersey Trilogy) that impacted me beyond laughing at dick and fart jokes. 

[The 12th Commandment]

"What we've got here is failure to communicate." 

 

Classic line from Cool Hand Luke.  Been sampled, I guess you'd call it, lots and lots of times.

[skinsmarydu]

"I wanna shoot you so bad my dick's hard!"

 

Ice-T to Wesley Snipes in New Jack City, one of the best movies ever. 

[spjunkies]

[The Evil Genius]

[Spaceman Spiff]

 

Wasn't written, but whatever.  

[Califan007 The Constipated]

Ugarte: "You despise me, don't you?"

 

Rick: "If I gave you any thought I probably would."

 

- Casablanca

 

 

[FrFan]

"Some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright." The Shawshank Redemption

[Spearfeather]

 

" The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. "

[Fergasun]

Fabienne : Whose motorcycle is this?

 

Butch : It's a chopper, baby.

 

Fabienne : Whose chopper is this?

 

Butch : It's Zed's.

 

Fabienne : Who's Zed?

 

Butch : Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

[Chew]

"You have my warmest congratulations." - The Remains of the Day

 

we see the normally stoic Mr Stevens falling apart at the seams as he realizes the love of his life is getting married to another man  ☹️. 

[Captain Wiggles]

"You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps."

 

 

Edited December 19, 2023 by Captain Wiggles

[Jumbo]

Damn. I have hundreds. 😃

 

"In a child's power to master a multiplication table there is more sanctity than in all your shouted 'Amens, 'Holy, Holies', and Hosannas!' and the advance of man's knowledge is more of a miracle than any sticks turned to snakes, or the parting of waters!"

 

(Spencer Tracy in Inherit the Wind, about the "Scopes Monkey Trial" and attempts to reject teaching of Darwin and the theory of natural selection/evolution.)

 

 

[Corcaigh]

From Eraserhead, I loved the last line in this dialog.

 

Mrs. X: There's a baby. It's at the hospital.

Mary X: Mom!

Mrs. X: And you're the father.

Henry Spencer: Well, well that's impossible! It's only been...

Mary X: Mother, they're still not sure it is a baby

[Mufumonk]

The exchange between Hopper and Walkens in True Romance written by QT.

[Fan since a Fetus]

2 hours ago, The Evil Genius said:

what would have made this so much better is if they were eating 1/2 price appetizers at Applebees and getting smashed on Budlight. 

[Califan007 The Constipated]

 

 

Tibbs: "I was visiting my mother...I came in on the 12:35 from Brownsville, I was waiting to go out...on the 4:05."

 

Gillespie: "Mm hmm...Yeah...meanwhile, you just killed yourself a white man, just about the most important white man we got around here, and picked yourself up a couple hundred dollars!"

 

Tibbs: "I earned that money, 10 hours a day, 7 days a week."

 

Gillespie: "A colored can't earn that kind of money, boy! Hell that's more than I make in a month! Now, where did you EARN IT!"

 

Tibbs: "...Philadelphia."

 

Gillespie: "Mississippi?!"

 

Tibbs: "Pennsylvania."

 

Gillespie: “Now what do you do up there in little old Pennsylvania to earn that kind of money?”

 

Tibbs: "I'm a police officer!"

 

 

- In The Heat Of The Night

 

 

 

 

[Captain Wiggles]

"Would you like to play again? You have selected no."

 

 

[LadySkinsFan]

From Auntie Mame. Actually, the whole movie is exquisite. Here's one scene though.

 

 

Edited December 19, 2023 by LadySkinsFan

[PleaseBlitz]

4 hours ago, The Evil Genius said:

 

As much as I think Damon and Affleck are pompous dicks, Good Will Hunting has so much FANTASTIC dialogue, the "How do you like the apples", while concise, isn't even in the top 10 for that movie.  

 

2 scenes stick out for me, and I'll just note that Robin Williams really stole the show in this movie.

 

Quote

Sean: My father was an alcoholic. Mean ****in' drunk. He'd come home hammered, looking to whale on somebody. So I'd provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings.
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the table. Just say, "Choose."
Sean: Well I gotta go with the belt there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: Why the wrench?
Will: Cause **** him, that's why.

 

Then the lead up to the "how about them apples" part:

 

Quote

Chuckie: Are we gonna have a problem here?

Clark: [the classic psuedoacademic douchebag with a ponytail] No, no, no, no! There's no problem here. I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities, especially in the southern colonies, could be most aptly described as agrarian pre-capitalist.

Will: Of course that's your contention. You're a first-year grad student; you just got finished reading some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna be convinced of that 'till next month when you get to James Lemon. Then you're going to be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year; you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about, you know, the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.

Clark: Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social...

Will: "Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth"? You got that from Vickers' "Work in Essex County," page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you, is that your thing, you come into a bar, read some obscure passage and then pretend - you pawn it off as your own, as your own idea just to impress some girls, embarrass my friend?

Will: See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're going to come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don't do that, and two, you dropped 150 grand on a ****in' education you could have got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.

Clark: Yeah, but I will have a degree. And you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.

Will: Yeah, maybe. But at least I won't be unoriginal.

 

 

So good. 

[PleaseBlitz]

While I'm on the topic of not being a huge Ben Affleck fan, Boiler Room is one of my favorites, and his character is a delightfully pragmatic sociopath. Here is perhaps my favorite monologue in any movie ever.

 

Quote

Okay, here's the deal, I'm not here to waste your time. Okay, I certainly
hope you're not here to waste mine, so I'm gonna keep this short. You
become an employee of this firm, you will make your first million within
three years. OK. I'm gonna repeat that - you will make a million dollars
within three years of your first day of employment at JT Marlin. There is no
question as to whether or not you will become a millionaire working here,
the only question is how many times over. Do you think I'm joking? I am
not joking. I am a millionaire. It's a weird thing to hear, right? I'll tell ya, it's
a weird thing to say. I am a f--king millionaire. And guess how old I am?
Twenty-seven. You know what that makes me here? A f--king senior
citizen. This firm is entirely comprised of people your age, not mine. Lucky
for me, I happen to be very f--king good at my job or I'd be out of one.
You guys are the new blood. You're gonna go home with the kesef. You
are the future Big-Swinging-Dicks of this firm. Now you all look money
hungry and that's good. Anybody tells you money is the root of all evil,
doesn't f--kin' have any! They say 'Money can't buy happiness'? Look at
the f--king smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby. You want details? Fine. I
drive a Ferrari.   355 Cabriolet... [/throws his car keys on the desk] I have a
ridiculous house on the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly
imagine. And best of all, kids, I am liquid.

So, now you know what's possible, let me tell you what's required. You are
required to work your f--king ass off at this firm. We want winners here, not
pikers. A piker walks at the bell. A piker asks how much vacation time you
get in the first year. Vacation time? People come and work at this firm for
one reason, to become filthy rich, that's it. We're not here to make friends,
we're not saving the f--king manatees here, guys. You want vacation time,
go teach third grade public school.

Okay, first three months at the firm are as a trainee. You make $150
dollars a week. After you've done training, you take the series seven, you
pass that, you become a junior broker and you're opening accounts for
your team leader. You open forty accounts, you start workin' for yourself,
the sky's the limit. A word or two about being a trainee, friends, parents,
the other brokers, whoever, they're gonna give you s--t about it, it's true,
$150 dollars a week, not a lot of money. Pay them no mind. You need to
learn this business and this is the time to do it. Once you pass the test,
none of that's gonna matter. Your friends are s--t. You tell 'em you made
25 grand last month, they're not gonna f--king believe you. F--k them! F--k
'em! Parents don't like the life you lead? F--k you mom and dad! See how it
feels when you're making their f--kin' Lexus payments.

Now go home and think about it. Think about whether or not this is really
for you. If you decide it isn't, listen, it's nothin' to be embarrassed about. It's
not for everyone...But if you really want this, you call me on Monday and
we'll talk. Just don't waste my f--kin' time. Okay, that's it.

 

/walks out of room

 

 

 

[The Evil Genius]

Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale), American Pyscho:

 

"I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion."

 

[TradeTheBeal!]

It only took a dozen posts for this thread to become an evil lasagna of tired Tarantino, Simpsons season 3 and @PleaseBlitzdick-riding Ben Affleck all the way to Gotham City.

Edited December 19, 2023 by TradeTheBeal!