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The Official ES 2021 Free Agency Thread / Tracker Fitzpatrick, Curtis Samuel, William Jackson, LB Mayo, C Larsen WR Humphries, CB D. Roberts, KR D. Carter , LT Charles Leno, S Bobby McCain signed

Riggo-toni

By Riggo-toni
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Long Time Fan

Long Time Fan

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, steve09ru said:

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

 

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is ****ing bull**** and you should kiss my mother-****ing ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

 

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a ****ing 12. I rate you a ****ing 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom.

 

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly **** and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. ****, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of **** teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

 

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. ****, man, there are some ****ty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

 

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

 

John, you are such a ****ing dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a ****ing zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my ****ing face. **** that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a – 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

 

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). **** me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

 

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a ****ing lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, ****-ass ****wad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

 

**** you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you **** with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

 

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

 

I physically started crying I was laughing so hard at this.  Thank you for posting.

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mistertim

mistertim

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, steve09ru said:

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

 

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is ****ing bull**** and you should kiss my mother-****ing ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

 

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a ****ing 12. I rate you a ****ing 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom.

 

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly **** and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. ****, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of **** teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

 

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. ****, man, there are some ****ty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

 

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

 

John, you are such a ****ing dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a ****ing zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my ****ing face. **** that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a – 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

 

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). **** me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

 

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a ****ing lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, ****-ass ****wad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

 

**** you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you **** with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

 

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

 

I remember the first time I ever read this. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe for 5 straight minutes.

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Rex Tomb

Rex Tomb

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, mistertim said:

 

I remember the first time I ever read this. I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe for 5 straight minutes.

Definitely one of the funniest things I've ever read on ES, and that's saying something.  There are some really funny people here.

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Gibbsisgod2006

Gibbsisgod2006

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, ConnSKINS26 said:

Relevant @Gibbsisgod2006since you are the one pushing the “Samuel is a gadget guy” narrative, here’s how he does as a “real WR”:

 

https://receptionperception.com/curtis-samuel-2020-player-profile/

Samuel is a gadget guy I am sorry I watched him play the last 2 years Matt Harmon is right he can play in the slot and run the ball on a occasion but him playing on the outside as a true receiver is BS. 

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method man

method man

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Skinsinparadise said:

 

 

 

It would be good to bring him back on a 1 year deal for $3M or $4M. If Young or Sweat were to go down, he'd be able to step in. We don't have anyone else who can do that now unless we were to move Jon Allen to the outside on an emergency basis

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method man

method man

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Gibbsisgod2006 said:

Samuel is a gadget guy I am sorry I watched him play the last 2 years Matt Harmon is right he can play in the slot and run the ball on a occasion but him playing on the outside as a true receiver is BS. 

 

To add to that, a reason Samuel got a bunch of RB snaps last year was because McCaffrey was hurt and Davis isn't a speed back. We have Gibson, McKissic and possibly others who do have the speed.

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Gibbsisgod2006

Gibbsisgod2006

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, method man said:

 

To add to that, a reason Samuel got a bunch of RB snaps last year was because McCaffrey was hurt and Davis isn't a speed back. We have Gibson, McKissic and possibly others who do have the speed.

No way I admit Samuel has speed but I don't think that was the reason he rushed the ball. Mike Davis actually played really well in relief for McCaffrey. 

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Conn

Conn

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Gibbsisgod2006 said:

Samuel is a gadget guy I am sorry I watched him play the last 2 years Matt Harmon is right he can play in the slot and run the ball on a occasion but him playing on the outside as a true receiver is BS. 


That’s literally an accounting of every single snap he played. You’re incorrect and no amount of feeling you have about it matters, unless you’d also like to chart every route he’s run and tally it up and compare. The numbers are right there. 

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kingdaddy

kingdaddy

Posted
Posted
47 minutes ago, RedskininATL said:

Yeah, I agree if he has those three seasons.   But Gary Clark, in only two more seasons, has 50 more receptions, 1500 or so more yards, and the same number of TD's while averaging almost a yard more per catch  (14.5 vs 15.5)  (while playing alongside Art Monk and Ricky Sanders most of the way)    Throw in the playoffs and G.C has another 35 or so more receptions and 6 more TD's.    And for some reason, G.C hasn't even sniffed the Hall of Fame.     But yes, if he has three more really good seasons I can agree with you.

Clark got shafted.

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Gibbsisgod2006

Gibbsisgod2006

Posted
Posted
Just now, ConnSKINS26 said:


That’s literally an accounting of every single snap he played. You’re incorrect and no amount of feeling you have about it matters, unless you’d also like to chart every route he’s run and tally it up and compare. The numbers are right there. 

My eyes don't lie. Really numbers He has less than 850 receiving yards and 3 TDs last year. Will Fuller had more years than Samuels in 11 games. 

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