The Parenting Thread II - Advice, Tips, Etc

[tshile]

On 3/11/2019 at 1:03 PM, Springfield said:

My oldest kid’s birthday is October 1, so he’s always gonna be the oldest kid in his class.

Same as my daughter

 

i think it’s cool

 

if she’s smart she’ll be bored  

[kfrankie]

Don't show your kids Jaws before going to the beach. Or before bed.

[TheDoyler23]

16 hours ago, kfrankie said:

Don't show your kids Jaws before going to the beach. Or before bed.

 

murder shark do do - do do do

murder shark do do - do do do 

murder shark do do - do do do

murder shark!

[kfrankie]

4 hours ago, TheDoyler23 said:

 

murder shark do do - do do do

murder shark do do - do do do 

murder shark do do - do do do

murder shark!

Another good tip, don't make songs about murderous sharks and sing them to your kids.  Particularly before going to the beach or bedtime.

[PleaseBlitz]

Married ex-Supreme Court clerks allege legal giant Jones Day discriminates against men in parental leave

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/legal-issues/married-ex-supreme-court-clerks-allege-legal-giant-jones-day-discriminates-against-men-in-parental-leave/2019/08/15/f888d9c8-bed2-11e9-9b73-fd3c65ef8f9c_story.html

 

Quote

Two former U.S. Supreme Court clerks who married and worked for the Jones Day law firm allege in a new federal lawsuit that the firm’s parental-leave policies are discriminatory and that the husband was fired after he challenged its practices.

 

The lawsuit, filed Tuesday in federal court in Washington, D.C., is the second high-profile workplace claim this year against one of the country’s largest and most politically influential law firms. It follows a $200 million class-action lawsuit in April by women who allege that Jones Day and its “fraternity culture” systematically discriminate against female associates in matters of pay, promotions and pregnancy.

 

The Cleveland-based international law firm has risen in prominence since representing Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign and sending a number of lawyers into the administration — headlined by Donald McGahn, who recently rejoined the firm after serving as White House counsel, and top Justice Department officials and U.S. appeals court appointees.

 

In their 44-page complaint, Mark C. Savignac, 32, and Julia Sheketoff, 36, who live in the District, allege that Jones Day grants eight more weeks of leave to all women than to men, and that it unlawfully fired Savignac from the firm’s elite appellate practice in Washington after he complained about the policy. The couple filed suit under the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that prohibits employers from discriminating against workers on the basis of sex, race, color, national origin and religion, and other federal and District statutes.

 

In a six-paragraph statement Wednesday, Jones Day’s D.C.-based managing partner, Stephen J. Brogan, called the couple’s allegations false and frivolous and accused them of “ignoring both the law and biology” in attacking what he described as generous family leave policies that are consistent with Equal Employment Opportunity Commission guidance.

 

Savignac said he learned he was fired in an email and a hand-delivered letter at the couple’s Logan Circle apartment on the evening of Jan. 22 when he and his wife returned from Shake Shack — their first meal out alone with their newborn son, Henry — three business days after the couple sent an email demanding equal treatment and threatening to bring a class-action lawsuit.

 

I mean, I'm sort of torn on the merits of their case, but you should pretty much expect to be fired if you "sent an email demanding equal treatment and threatening to bring a class-action lawsuit" against your employer, a colossal law firm.  At that point you aren't being fired over the substance of the request, you are being fired for being an asshole who hasn't figured out how to deal with other humans. 

[bearrock]

27 minutes ago, PleaseBlitz said:

I mean, I'm sort of torn on the merits of their case, but you should pretty much expect to be fired if you "sent an email demanding equal treatment and threatening to bring a class-action lawsuit" against your employer, a colossal law firm.  At that point you aren't being fired over the substance of the request, you are being fired for being an asshole who hasn't figured out how to deal with other humans. 

 

Well, that's why anti-retaliation laws exist right?  Despite what they say in the Post interview, I think they fully expected Jones Day to react badly to the last email and was just setting up a retaliation count.  I read the complaint which references an earlier email written by the wife and it's much more cordial.  The last email by the husband, which was sent after Jones Day HR denies the request to amend the policy,  talks about how he is making the request because if there is discrimination/retaliation suit, he would be the plaintiff.  Looks to me, by the time the email got sent, the writings were already on the wall.

 

[PleaseBlitz]

1 hour ago, bearrock said:

 

Well, that's why anti-retaliation laws exist right?  Despite what they say in the Post interview, I think they fully expected Jones Day to react badly to the last email and was just setting up a retaliation count.  I read the complaint which references an earlier email written by the wife and it's much more cordial.  The last email by the husband, which was sent after Jones Day HR denies the request to amend the policy,  talks about how he is making the request because if there is discrimination/retaliation suit, he would be the plaintiff.  Looks to me, by the time the email got sent, the writings were already on the wall.

 

 

If that’s the case, then I agree with you. If the first email was “change this policy or I sue” that is not why anti retaliation laws exist. 

 

I also have a hunch that this will make parental leave policies in Big Law worse, not better, in most cases. 

[Springfield]

What age do you guys consider ok for a kid to play/own a Nintendo Switch?

 

My oldest is about to turn 5 and he likes playing games on iPad but I’d much rather him play legit games that aren’t riddled with ads and questionable content.  Plus, I want a Switch also.

[Elessar78]

15 minutes ago, Springfield said:

What age do you guys consider ok for a kid to play/own a Nintendo Switch?

 

My oldest is about to turn 5 and he likes playing games on iPad but I’d much rather him play legit games that aren’t riddled with ads and questionable content.  Plus, I want a Switch also.

I started wondering about the same thing.

 

My 6YO has been tablet gaming maybe for the last year and change. She couldn't really handle it being taken away (when screen time was over) so we've greatly reduced her time on it. But yesterday, we were at the orthodontist and they had a console and she enjoyed playing it. I think having her game on my old PS3 may not be such a bad idea. Cheap games to boot. But don't really want her to go down the rabbit hole of gaming. 

[Dont Taze Me Bro]

1 hour ago, Springfield said:

What age do you guys consider ok for a kid to play/own a Nintendo Switch?

 

My oldest is about to turn 5 and he likes playing games on iPad but I’d much rather him play legit games that aren’t riddled with ads and questionable content.  Plus, I want a Switch also.

 

Our daughter was 9 when we bought her a switch.  But she was gaming on my PS3/PS4 at an earlier age like 6-7 years old, just wasn't real coordinated at all.  And her aunt and uncle would let her play on their PS3/PS4 when she visited them.  

 

Really just depends on when you want to buy one and if you don't care if he loses interest from time to time due to the complexity of some of the games, even what you/we consider easier.  But in my experience, the Switch would have been the best console to start with, only it wasn't made when she was that young.  

 

If you pull the trigger on one, I'd recommend getting the online subscription so you get access to the classic games, because they are 1] awesome and 2] not as complicated.  

 

[NoCalMike]

Way back in the day I think my parents bought me an NES when I was about 8/9?   My oldest will be 8 in January.  My daughters right now mainly play roblox. They are semi-obsessed.  I want to get them into legit gaming, but I also don't want to invest $500+ into something they aren't ready for. By ready I don't mean age appropriate, I mean legitimate games that you don't just pick up and randomly play for 10 mins here and there.   My youngest (just turned 4) actually seems to be more intrigued by console games.  She likes watching me play Mario games on the retro pie and she has been watching a ton of Mario Party videos on youtube.  When we were at Santa Cruz last week there as a carnival game booth that was all NES/Mario prizes and she wanted a princess peach.    I might end up getting a switch for the family for Christmas anyway because Mario Maker 2 just looks so appealing.  

Edited August 16, 2019 by NoCalMike

[bearrock]

My daughters always had access to Nintendo heldhelds growing up cause I have them.  I think it's more the games and the length than the platform.  Both my daughters played simple games like nintendogs or cats, mario kart when they found it interesting enough (like four-ish?).  My older one played her first Pokemon at like 6 and animal crossing a little while later.  She played Breath of the Wild last year after turning 9.  

[NoCalMike]

For my kids the biggest adjustment for them is coming up as toddlers/kids on touchscreen gaming.  Their hands are still relatively small, so adjusting to actual physical controllers is a challenge.  They have been playing some Overcooked that I snatched up a couple months ago when it was a free PSN+ game. 

[purbeast]

2 hours ago, Springfield said:

What age do you guys consider ok for a kid to play/own a Nintendo Switch?

 

My oldest is about to turn 5 and he likes playing games on iPad but I’d much rather him play legit games that aren’t riddled with ads and questionable content.  Plus, I want a Switch also.

I'd say as long as he has the coordination and interest in it, go for it.

 

I will say though, the Switch definitely is not as "tough" as a 3DS is.  It feels pretty fragile because it's somewhat big and it's thin.  My son is only 4 but I wouldn't let him play with it.  He only uses a tablet for movies on airplanes though, but he can handle that all day.  He's tried playing Yoshi's Crafted World with me a few months ago on the projector with the pro controller, but he was having some trouble jumping and moving forward at the same time.

 

He does however like playing Beat Saber on PSVR.  I only let him play it every now and then though, and only like 2-3 songs.  He likes watching me play it just as much, if not more than playing it.  He looks like a damn bobble head wearing that thing, it's cute as ****.

[dfitzo53]

3 hours ago, Springfield said:

What age do you guys consider ok for a kid to play/own a Nintendo Switch?

 

My oldest is about to turn 5 and he likes playing games on iPad but I’d much rather him play legit games that aren’t riddled with ads and questionable content.  Plus, I want a Switch also.

My kids are 7 and 4. We have a Switch, as you say partly because I wanted one. They enjoy it, and with the built-in assists can play stuff like Mario Kart without any problem. The fact that you can break Switch controllers into smaller units is nice for kid hands. 

 

All of that said, I wouldn't be in any rush unless it's something you want to do with them, or something they're asking for and you feel comfortable with. They're going to encounter plenty of screens in their lives, there's no need to introduce yet another unless you have a particular reason. 

[Springfield]

1 hour ago, NoCalMike said:

Way back in the day I think my parents bought me an NES when I was about 8/9?   My oldest will be 8 in January.  My daughters right now mainly play roblox. They are semi-obsessed.  I want to get them into legit gaming, but I also don't want to invest $500+ into something they aren't ready for. By ready I don't mean age appropriate, I mean legitimate games that you don't just pick up and randomly play for 10 mins here and there.   My youngest (just turned 4) actually seems to be more intrigued by console games.  She likes watching me play Mario games on the retro pie and she has been watching a ton of Mario Party videos on youtube.  When we were at Santa Cruz last week there as a carnival game booth that was all NES/Mario prizes and she wanted a princess peach.    I might end up getting a switch for the family for Christmas anyway because Mario Maker 2 just looks so appealing.  

 

Its funny you mention Roblox.  The son of mine that sparked this conversation loves it.  I don’t quite understand Roblox but i believe it to be a MMO with many different types of games inside.  He prefers a game that he calls “Red Dress Girl” which basically involves running away from a player who’s trying to kill you.  Not quite sure I think this game inside of Roblox is appropriate... but perhaps I simply don’t understand it.

 

I feel like a more traditional game platform would be better.  Not sure how well he’s handle a controller though.

 

Perhaps a NES or SNES Classic instead so the investment isn’t too great.

[bearrock]

10 minutes ago, Springfield said:

Perhaps a NES or SNES Classic instead so the investment isn’t too great.

 

There was a wise person who once said "Plus , I want a Switch also.".  Yoda level wisdom imo.

[PleaseBlitz]

On 8/15/2019 at 7:19 PM, PleaseBlitz said:

 

If that’s the case, then I agree with you. If the first email was “change this policy or I sue” that is not why anti retaliation laws exist. 

 

I also have a hunch that this will make parental leave policies in Big Law worse, not better, in most cases. 

 

I am pretty ****ing thrilled to be wrong about this one.  My firm's director of HR just stopped by to ask my opinion on expanding our paternity leave from 4 weeks to TEN weeks.  

 

Given that we are expecting kiddo #2 in February, I'm pretty happy about it.  I think I'll send a gift basket to the Jones Day litigants.

[bearrock]

43 minutes ago, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I am pretty ****ing thrilled to be wrong about this one.  My firm's director of HR just stopped by to ask my opinion on expanding our paternity leave from 4 weeks to TEN weeks.  

 

Given that we are expecting kiddo #2 in February, I'm pretty happy about it.  I think I'll send a gift basket to the Jones Day litigants.

 

Does your firm have leave for adoption too?  *hint* *hint*

[Elessar78]

On 8/16/2019 at 12:49 PM, NoCalMike said:

 Their hands are still relatively small, ...

Genetics

[TheGoodBits]

I "volunteered" to coach my kid's fall Tball team starting on Saturday. Pray for me. 

[superozman]

2 hours ago, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I am pretty ****ing thrilled to be wrong about this one.  My firm's director of HR just stopped by to ask my opinion on expanding our paternity leave from 4 weeks to TEN weeks.  

 

Given that we are expecting kiddo #2 in February, I'm pretty happy about it.  I think I'll send a gift basket to the Jones Day litigants.

 

Congrats on the kiddo!  being in the banking industry a lot of the banks compete with talent and I've seen an uptick in benefits due to that.  We had a similar bump for my place of work for parental leave to 12 weeks, with women allowed 4 additional medical weeks if needed.  And #2 for me is due in Jan!

[Elessar78]

40 minutes ago, skinsfan_1215 said:

I "volunteered" to coach my kid's fall Tball team starting on Saturday. Pray for me. 

oh my. I can't think of a version of a sport more poorly suited to the age group. 

 

But God bless you. Not enough families volunteer anymore. 

[Dr. Do Itch Big]

Roblox is fun as hell

[China]

Having kids makes you happier -- once they've moved out

 

Having children will make you happier than staying childless, according to a new study, but not until later in life, when they have flown the nest.

 

A team of researchers led by Christoph Becker at Heidelberg University in Germany found that parents tend to be happier than non-parents in old age, but this only holds if their kids have moved out.

Previous research has suggested that parenthood, social networks and marital status affect the well-being and mental health of older people, and this latest study looks at the effects of family status.

Scientists asked 55,000 people age 50 and over from 16 European countries about their mental well-being, and results suggest "the positive aspects of parenthood dominate when getting older."

 

One of the biggest factors is that children become a form of social support, and the researchers point out that social support networks are associated with greater happiness and less loneliness and can act as a buffer against stressful events.

"The results suggest that the finding of a negative link between children and well-being and mental health may not generalize to older people whose children have often left home already," the study says.

"As stress associated with balancing the competing demands of childcare, work and personal life decreases, once people get older and their children leave (home), the importance of children as caregivers and social contacts might prevail."

 

However, children who still live at home are shown to have a negative effect on well-being.

 

Click on the link for the full article