When to intervene...

[Zguy28]

So I came across some show on TV where there were hidden cameras in a bar/restaurant and the producers want to see if unsuspecting patrons will intervene with certain situations. One was two men dressed in surgical scrubs drinking and openly talking about going back to the hospital next door for their afternoon surgeries. Another was an older woman teacher tutoring a 15 year old boy and openly seducing him. Both times some folks just kept to themselves and some intervened to stop the behavior.

Now they have one with a woman who is clearly 7-8 months pregnant getting sloshed on alcohol, even claiming she is “drinking for two.” This is the one this thread is about.

Would you intervene to stop this pregnant woman from getting drunk so it doesn’t harm the baby?

EDIT: here is the link (Thanks Capt Kaos!) http://abcnews.go.com/WhatWouldYouDo/

Why or why not?

Bonus Question: Does your opinion of this agree with your stance on abortion?

Watch the video before commenting please.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

That's a pretty cool show idea.

As to that specific case, I'm generally not one to intervene and I certainly wouldn't judge a pregnant woman for having a glass of wine or something (that late in the pregnancy, it's OK to have alcohol occasionally). However, having recently become a father twice (two kids under 3 years old), I'd definitely say something to a woman who was HAMMERED and pregnant...just as much for her falling/stumbling/making a bad choice as for the alcohol potentially harming the child.

I am pro-choice in very rare cases (rape/life-or-death situations with the mother) so I think this viewpoint is consistent with that.

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

I'd start to look around and ask people if they see what the heck I see. Get the awareness level up around me. Then we could box her in and wait for the police, most likely. Because this lady, and this baby moreso, need professional help.

[JimboDaMan]

Most of the time I let people do their own thing, including a pregnant woman drinking a glass of wine. Getting sloshed at 8 months is something else, and I'm pretty sure I'd tell her it's not a good idea. If that failed I'd say something to the waiter also, and would probably eventually mention to the manager they might be concerned about their own liability. But "intervene"? Its not definitely illegal, at least I'm not qualified to say it is, can't see any way to stop somebody if they're determined to do this.

I'm pro-choice, but I think the bonus question is bizarre. Did you think a pro-choice woman would be inconsistent if she took care of her health and the fetus?

[GibbsFactor]

It's akin to child abuse. Would you step in if she was punching her kid?

[Capt. Kaos]

The show is called: "What would you do"

I watch on a regular basis, you'd be surprised by the number of cowards there are in this world.

I am also pleasantly surprised by the number of "heroes" there seems to be.

The video for the question being asked here is at the link above.

[Ellis]

Now they have one with a woman who is clearly 7-8 months pregnant getting sloshed on alcohol, even claiming she is “drinking for two.” This is the one this thread is about.

Would you intervene to stop this pregnant woman from getting drunk so it doesn’t harm the baby?

Why or why not?

Bonus Question: Does your opinion of this agree with your stance on abortion?

Interesting... especially the added BQuestion.

1.) Of course I would intervene. Having not seen the show, was she drinking in a public place and getting served alcohol? Or was she sneaking it from a bag or purse or something? B/c if she was getting served I'd be equally pissed at the venue employees.

2.) as for the BQuestion... I am personally pro-life. So it would not change my stance. But I can see the point you raise... as a pro-choice person, if someone is harming the fetus with alcohol, would you intervene? If so, why do you not intervene when someone wants an abortion.

[Chachie]

If I saw a pregnant woman that I did not know personally and she was getting drunk, I wouldn't say a word despite the tragic consequences. It would be plainly apparent to me that she's an alcoholic. You can scream until you're blue in the face but an addict won't listen... or they'll listen until you are out of sight and go right back to their business.

[Bang]

If there's one thing that this country has taught me it's that no good deed ever goes unpunished.

And one of the best ways to set yourself up to be taken advantage of, one of the best ways to find yourself sued into the poorhouse or worse is to help.

I used to be a very helpful person. But having been shown how in the US that is a weakness to be exploited, what I've decided is if she's stupid enough to be in a bar drinking while she's pregnant, she's definitely stupid enough to make my life hell for trying to help.

My rule: say it once if I say anything at all.. Hey lady, you shouldn't be in here in that condition. Hey Bartender, you shouldn't serve her. If they ignore it, screw 'em.

It has nothing to do with my stance on abortion.

~Bang

[Pick6]

As a former bartender in college, if she walked into my place and wanted to get served there would no one in hell that I would serve her. Now if I was just a patron I would probably see it and be disgusted and just leave the establishment. Me saying something is not going to do anything once she leaves.

Now on the second question, I am pro-choice, but I think once you decide to have the baby a woman should do everything in her power to make sure that baby is going to be health.

[HOF44]

I agree with Bang. I'd just let it go and chalk it up to natural selection at work.

[JimboDaMan]

It's akin to child abuse. Would you step in if she was punching her kid?

SO what would you do? Keep in mind the video states what she is doing is not illegal.

I think some people are kidding themselves about what they would do (which is part of the allure of this show). Only 25% of the people even spoke up, and not a single one attempted to call the police. But people convince themselves that THEY would be different, THEY would take action.

Also, I think the 25% stat is a little misleading. Looks like many tried to intervene by speaking to the bartender without directly confronting the pregnant woman.

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

How could she sue if the police were called and they made the judgement that she needed help? They'll proceed to take her to whatever emergency department deals with that particular situation, and you'll be too anonymous for her to sue you. Are there even grounds for her to sue? So what, if she does? Free day off work and an easy case to beat.

[Burgold]

I'd like to think I would do something. In terms of the person hitting a child. There have been times when I've said something and times when I haven't. There have also been times where I made sure I got in the parent's/adult's sight line and made eye contact just to let them know that there were people watching what they were doing. Sometimes, that is enough.

[Drew_Fl]

what kind of bartender would even consider serving her? hmm unless the woman was already "large" before her pregnancy so you couldn't tell as much. i would do nothing more than alert someone who works at the place.

however, if i had already been drinking for awhile i would say something directly to her as i'm sure many of you would do the same.

[GoSkins561]

what kind of bartender would even consider serving her? hmm unless the woman was already "large" before her pregnancy so you couldn't tell as much. i would do nothing more than alert someone who works at the place.

however, if i had already been drinking for awhile i would say something directly to her as i'm sure many of you would do the same.

It's not horrible if a lady in her 3rd trimester has a glass or two of Red wine, some doctors don't see any harm in it. Now, most women that I know that had a glass of wine during their third trimester, would never have a glass of wine in a public place, but might sip on a glass in the privacy of their home.

[#98QBKiller]

If she was hot I'd ask if I could buy her a drink.

[Botched]

If she was hot I'd ask if I could buy her a drink.

Just what I was thinking. Plus, she's pregnant so you already know she gives it up.

[Henry]

Probably not. First of all it's not my business.

Second of all, I'm not a doctor and I'm in no position to tell someone else what is or isn't good for them. For all I know she consulted her doctor before drinking anything. The medical community changes the rules for what pregnant women should and/or should do all the time. No coffee, coffee's ok, drink, don't drink, gain weight, don't gain weight. So who knows what the rules are today?

Mostly though it's not my business.

[Smoot4Prez]

It's not illegal.

She is aware of the risks.

Not a situation that merits intervention.

If you did intervene, I could only see her responding negatively (and rightly so).

I support abortion right's.

[JimboDaMan]

Probably not. First of all it's not my business.

Second of all, I'm not a doctor and I'm in no position to tell someone else what is or isn't good for them. For all I know she consulted her doctor before drinking anything. The medical community changes the rules for what pregnant women should and/or should do all the time. No coffee, coffee's ok, drink, don't drink, gain weight, don't gain weight. So who knows what the rules are today?

Mostly though it's not my business.

Did you watch the video? I had pretty much your response at first. But in the video, this woman was absolutely pounding down the drinks. "Bartender, another double tequila straight up!", over and over. When she just had a glass of wine most everybody ignored it, but even those who stayed out of it watched in horror the way she kept tossing the shots down. Your business or not, it would have been pretty hard to watch this in person and not know this was not a good thing.

[AsburySkinsFan]

I see women smoke all the time while pregnant, and I don't see a mad rush to take cigarettes out of their hands.

If I saw a pregnant woman heavily drinking I wouldn't try to stop her unless I knew her. Sorry, but what's she's doing is not illegal, and I've lived with alcoholics long enough to know that trying to set a drunk straight rarely ends well.

I'd pray for her and her child.

And no, that has nothing to do with my stance on abortion.

[Darth Tater]

At a cash bar, I would almost certainly leave and may make a comment to the person serving and/or to the manager. At a party, if the host/hostess is unaware, I'd mention it to that person and if nothing is done, I'd leave. If she's sloshed and drinking on her own, obviously the most I can do is to ask her if she's OK and get her professional help. The last situation (unless we already have some sort of relationship), would likely be noticing my sloshed pregnant neighbor, so what I'd do would depend on what I already know about my neighbor situation.

In any case, I might ask the woman if she's OK and help her if she wants. Given the information out there, she already knows what she's doing is dangerous and, at that point, probably wants the baby so she is either an addict or has some other issues that I don't have the resources to deal with.

[Special K]

Yes, I absolutely would try to intervene. It's child abuse and I would say something to that effect to both her and whoever she's with and the bartender. I would also tell her about fetal alcohol syndrome and potential legal/child protective services ramifications of this type of behavior. If she, or anyone she was with gave me crap, knowing myself, I would likely tell her she is a piece of **** and a horrible human being and I hoped her child would be taken away from her eventually for his/her own good. Then I would leave because there is no way I would be able to eat dinner and watch that.

And no, this isn't really consistent with my political views on abortion.

[Koala]

It's not horrible if a lady in her 3rd trimester has a glass or two of Red wine, some doctors don't see any harm in it. Now, most women that I know that had a glass of wine during their third trimester, would never have a glass of wine in a public place, but might sip on a glass in the privacy of their home.

There is some truth to this, but its hard to draw the line. Certainly 3rd trimester is the time the least devasting defects will occur in response to moderate drinking

The most devastating effects central nervous system defects of FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) occur early in the pregnancy (even before the woman is aware she is pregnant) because alcohol disrupts migration of neural cells, meaning the brain as a whole will fail to develop properly and there will be severe mental retardation, or even death.

In the 3rd trimester, drinkin may result in hydrocephaly and compression of the hippocampus. Hyrdrocephaly can be treated post birth and this treatment usually limits to development of further issues. THe compresison of the hippocampus, however, will result in learning issues, memory issues, and emotional response issues.

Thus the 1st trimester use should be avoided because it will likely result in extreme mental defects. Since these issues can occur before a woman knows she is pregnant, I recommend that all sexually active women of child bearing age, who are not using contraceptive, avoid drinking in general -- becuase by the time the 1st missed period happens, the embryo is already into its 3rd/4th week of development, where alcohol use can disrupt the migration of neural ectoderm cells, formation of notochord, and formation of neural tube...although severe alcoholism then would likely just cause a spontaneous abortion as failure for proper migration is usually embryonic lethal at this point...

As far as 3rd semester use of alcohol: limit it. Studies definitely show that it can lead to the emotional issues and learning issues seens in children with mild forms of fetal alcohol syndrome.

If you see a pregnant woman using it, apprise her of the risk: a lot of people simply might not be aware of the risk, hell my proffessors wont even give me a definitive statement of how much risk there is, so a lay person certainyl cant be expected to know for sure...Just let her know there is a "risk of a risk" for moderate alcohol consumption in 3rd trimester, and let her decide from there what to do with that ambigious information.

As far as barteneders not serving alcohol at all to women in 3rd trimester: I gotta tell you it would make more sense (medically) to refuse to serve any alcohol to a woman who is not showing. If you serve alcohol, you contribute to a lot of medical problems in society, including serious birth defects in women who dont even know the are pregnant. Understand youve picked a profession that enables people to ruin their lives and health, if it bothers you in some cases, it should bother you in all cases. Pick another profession