codeorama Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Some of you know, I've been a HS baseball coach for a long time. However, a few years ago, I became a teacher at the HS that I attended and live 2 minutes away from. Its where I've always wanted to be. The baseball job was taken and they asked me to take the JV softball job. I said no, but they talked me into it. I had no desire to coach girls. I even made a post at that time about how difficult girls were compared to boys. This year, the Varsity Softball coach left and they immediately asked me to take the job. I said no again, but they talked me into it. The varsity team has had 10 years of issues with players and parents not getting along. Players hating each other, parents hating each other. People warned me not to take it. I did anyway because I felt it would get me closer to the baseball job. This whole year, it's been really really hard. I don't have a daughter or sister. Its hard for me to relate and I'm always walking on eggshells. I've been hard on them. They have to bring notes when they miss practice and they have to run if they miss unexcused. That was tough but that was the law. I made them all compete for their positions. Everyone got fair chances every day at practice. Several were mad that they weren't handed their starting jobs. Had to meet with several parents to explain what I was doing. I want competition. I want them to be afraid of someone else playing over them. I want everyone to feel like they are getting a chance and can win a spot. Monday, I was called into the office and told that I was accused of calling a girl the P word. 2 weeks prior, I quoted Charles Barkley "Its easier to tame a tiger than fire up a ****". The girls had played timid and needed to understand that I'd rather have to calm them down than to have to fight to get them excited to play. For the first 2 weeks of the season, we are 3-2. 1 game behind the leader. We beat the traditional powerhouse for the first time in 9 years. I had more parents come to me and commend me for breeding a team atmosphere. The girls where happy. The parents were happy. All but one. Didn't see it coming. One dad wanted the job that I had. He had been criticizing everything I did as well as other girls. He and his wife wrote the letter accusing me of calling a girl the P word. I was told that I probably should just resign. New superintendent. Principal didn't want to deal with it. So I did. 24 hours later. The other 16 players and their parents started WW3. Letters poured in. Parents were at the school first thing in the morning demanding to see the principal. These girls that I thought hated me actually loved me more than any coach the've ever had (their words, their parents words). I've received so many phone calls and letters telling me there's no way they are talking my job. I told the admin I made a mistake and would not resign. Things are looking great now. Never in a million years would I believe all the love that has been shown my way. I've coached HS baseball for about 18 years. Lots of success at high levels. Fought coaching softball all along. This has been the most moving experience I've ever had in my life. Crazy how things work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Faith restored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsmarydu Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 A very positive story, indeed! Awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Glad to hear that. Shame that there is always one spoiled brat in the bunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Righteous. Having a wife who used to coach girls' basketball, many of your struggles seem eerily familiar. Great story dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Did you at least add "cat" to the word in the weird-ass Barkley quote that I don't really even understand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grego Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Nice job, code. I know how thankless working with kids can be, specifically when it comes to parents. Years ago, I had a kid in youth group I bent over backwards for - much more so than any other kid, just so she could be included. Til I got a incredibly nasty email from the parents. I was stunned. It was an awful feeling. It's like being stabbed in the back. Nice to hear it had a happy ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacks 'n' Stuff Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I'd run that one **** to death and tell her it's because her dad is such a ****ing ****. I'd also start calling myself 'The Untouchable One' around her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 As a parent, I don't think I'd want my teenage daughters male coaches sharing motivational quotes about pussies because she wasn't playing hard enough. I guess I'd rather them tell her she is not playing hard enough and will get benched if she doesn't improve. Looks like I'm in the minority on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Very cool. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sacks 'n' Stuff Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 As a parent, I don't think I'd want my teenage daughters male coaches sharing motivational quotes about pussies because she wasn't playing hard enough. I guess I'd rather them tell her she is not playing hard enough and will get benched if she doesn't improve. Looks like I'm in the minority on this one. Quit being such a ****. My coaches used the word **** all the time and it kept me from turning into a total ****. No negatives either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoodBits Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 As a parent, I don't think I'd want my teenage daughters male coaches sharing motivational quotes about pussies because she wasn't playing hard enough. I guess I'd rather them tell her she is not playing hard enough and will get benched if she doesn't improve. Looks like I'm in the minority on this one. No, I agree with this. I might not demand the coach be fired for a first offense, but an apology would definitely be needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I wouldn't have said "****" in front of bunch of teenage girls. Had I been an administrator, I probably would have suspended you for a game or two. But from your stories, I think you work in the school form Lean on Me so who knows? Maybe you can bring the entire team into the gym and have security guards forcibly expel them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 My school is rough. If i write up a student for language, nothing happens. Nike of the girls were offended including the one that complained. I'm part of a group chat and I'm privy to info that many of you would have your minds blown. The stories I could tell. One parent literally told me they'd be fine if I cussed at the more, which I would never do, girls or boys. Those of you criticizing the use of words wouldn't do so if I had a video and posted how it was delivers and explained. I can't convey that in text. Regardless, it wasn't an issue for 2 weeks until the dad got mad because his daughter walked 6 and made an error that cost is our second loss. Then it became an issue. From what I've been told the parent has repeatedly cussed out his Rec league softball players. For those that don't understand the quote, as a coach, I rather have a player that I have to calm down rather than a timid player that I have to fire up. It's much easier to deal with. Btw, I don't mind the criticism. I spoke to each supporting parent and made thme aware of the comment because I wanted no misunderstandings. None of the 16 had an issue and thought it was ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Next time just use the C word. In my experience, women love it. JK. Great story, really glad for you, and I am really happy that everything is turning out the way you'd hoped. Told-ya.. "it will get better". and what do you know... Very happy for you. ~John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Nike of the girls were offended including the one that complained. I'm part of a group chat and I'm privy to info that many of you would have your minds blown. That's not really the point. If you are dealing with teenagers, a) it doesn't matter if they are offended or not and I don't think you actually know if they are offended or not. Teams are weird things. Players tend to go along with stuff they know is wrong if they feel like it would get them ostracized. I don't think it's a hanging offense, but I also wouldn't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan T. Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Photo of codeorama on the job: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Kitten. If you decide to use the quote again, maybe use kitten instead. That's not really the point. If you are dealing with teenagers, a) it doesn't matter if they are offended or not and I don't think you actually know if they are offended or not. Teams are weird things. Players tend to go along with stuff they know is wrong if they feel like it would get them ostracized. I don't think it's a hanging offense, but I also wouldn't do it. Exactly. The head coach of a national U21 team was fired a few years ago for using the phrase 'Adios ****es' (female dog) in an email communication to the team. His 'explanation' that it was just an internal term the girls used with each other didn't get him off the hook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I thought he used the word ****ycat? You know, like Sylvester? I don't think he called them a bunch of ****ies. Read the quote. He wants them to be "Tigers" and not puddytats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I thought he used the word ****ycat? You know, like Sylvester? I don't think he called them a bunch of ****ies. Read the quote. He wants them to be "Tigers" and not puddytats. If the initial post is acccurate, I think the 'cat' part was missing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 Next time just use the C word. In my experience, women love it. JK. Great story, really glad for you, and I am really happy that everything is turning out the way you'd hoped. Told-ya.. "it will get better". and what do you know... Very happy for you. ~John Thank You and lol. I knew the C word was off limits period. Honestly never knew the P word was. The girls use it a lot. Never ever heard them use the C word. Also, I prefaced my quote with "just understand I'm talking about animals". It was extremely light hearted. The reaction of the admin is the same as some of you guys. "That word can't be said". The girls wrote their own letters. Several said that they were offended because they were being treated differently than boys which is discrimination. They brought up that the football coach had used that word as a derogatory term and no action has ever been taken. Why do they need to be protected and coddled. Their letters were very intelligent and heavy. I was impressed with the depth. I expected "don't fire coach because we are winning" but that wasn't the case at all. 90% was because of how I treat them and brought them together as family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Just use all the John Woodenisms that Bill Walton has memorized. I grew up in the 80s. In West Virginia. In a football crazy town that still has a sign explaining that we were ranked in the USA Today High School Top 25 twice 30 years ago. And coaches swore at us. And I thought it was weird that it was allowed. And then a few years after I graduated, it wasn't allowed any longer. Because people realized that it was just weird that the Health Teacher could call you a **** or a **** if you got beat on a blocking drill but couldn't say that to same student if he screwed up a quiz on the difference between stimulants and depressants. And yes double standard. Boys and girls. PC run amok. Let's Make America Great Again. Whatever. Don't be stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 There is a huge double standard. There's a big case going on at the University of Iowa after a highly successful female coach was fired because a few players said she was mean. http://espn.go.com/espnw/news-commentary/article/12283119/why-iowa-field-hockey-title-ix-complaint-huge-deal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimmySmith Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Coached for years and never had a parent or kid say anything bad about me that got back to me. If it had happened I would have been devastated much like code and I would have probably quit. Parents will never know the love a coach has for all of his players. You were very lucky to find out they love you back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 What I took from it is that codeorama can be talked into pretty much anything if you lean on him hard enough. JK. Great story, very positive. Glad to hear that you've made a positive impact on a group of kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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