Adrian Peterson indicted on child abuse via TMZ

[Rdskn4Lyf21]

Minnesota's governor is now calling for him to be benched.

 

I guess I'll hold on to Asiata in my fantasy league through this. AP should be done for the year IMO.

[Chachie]

So this happened on a Vikings message board.

 

http://vikingsmessageboard.com/

 

 

Nevermind, I read further and figured out what happened.

 

 

What amazes me about AP right now is the denial he is in about whether or not he is an abuser. Smiling for his mug shot, freely admitting to authorities all of his methods of discipline, etc. 

 

Dude really thinks what he did to that child is "normal!" Wow... just wow.

 

I'm not sure if he's pulling charades to appear stupid and avoid major backlash (btw it's working), or if he really believes his own BS.

[Predicto]

I hadn't anticipated so much agreement on this.

What do you say to people who call hitting children parenting?

 

 

That I think they are mistaken, but I understand why they think it is appropriate and I am not saying they are bad people for handling discipline the way their parents did it.   That I hope they will move on to more effective and less punitive parenting methods someday.    

You guys who are getting older like me ever notice some role reversal between you and your dad? Like, now it's me sneaking into his room in the middle of the night to play with his penis. Life is funny man. Make-a da world go round.

 

ok that was awful and hilarious.   you a sick person.   I like that.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

I hadn't anticipated so much agreement on this.

What do you say to people who call hitting children parenting?

 

I'm not going to pass judgment on people who spank their children, because I've done it. But the times I've done it, I've known that it was due to my own failure and frustration. It's a shortcut to (maybe) end a situation in that moment. I don't think it has any long-term benefit and probably does more long-term harm than good.

 

As I said earlier, people have a hard time talking rationally about this, because too often, they feel the need to defend their own parents. Saying that using a switch on a child is wrong is heard by a lot of people as "Your grandma/mom/dad was wrong." And then they reflexively defend their family. It's actually really easy to see why abuse tends to get passed down within families when you hear how defensive people who DON'T hit their kids become on this subject. 

 

My dad is 70. I'm 40. He spanked me maybe twice in my whole life. But his own father beat the hell out of him for punishments. My dad has always rationalized it as "He neve hit me just to hit me. It was always because I had done something. And I was a pretty bad kid." But it took me until I was maybe 30 to realize that my father - who is a successful happy man with 40-some years of marriage under his belt - still has hangups that stem from the fact that his father would get pissed off and beat him with a shoe on occasion. I've asked the question, "Do you think grandpa would be arrested today for ____________," knowing that the answer is clearly yes. And my dad will go through this whole process where he admits, "Well, maybe the one time he hit me with a belt everytime I took a step on the way home from ______. That would probably involve the police today."

 

It is so so difficult to indict your parents, and I think that's why we end up in these bizarre cul-de-sacs of justification and poor logic.

 

Here is something I always come back to. Every dog trainer in the I've dealth with has emphasized that hitting a dog only makes the dog less trainable. Yet, we think that smacking a child works.

[codeorama]

I was spanked 1 time as a kid and that was all it took. I knew what my dad would do if I stepped out of line and I remembered.

I spanked my son 1 time.  He bit his nephew and get got the hand to the butt.  I've never had to spank him again.  He's a great kid.  My grandmother threatened to spank me with a switch but never had to.

 

My thought is that that one of the problem with kids today is that they have not been spanked. (spanked, not abused).  Kids have no fear of their parents.  IMO, kids need to know their parents are in charge and won't tolerate nonsense.

 

I'm white.  This isn't a racial issue. Most people I grew up with were spanked as well.  I completely hate all this "You can never spank a child" BS.  Kids today have a lot less respect than they did in the past IMO.

 

Finally, IMO, what Peterson did was more than likely abuse based on the fact that he left wounds.  That's too much IMO.  Also, parents shouldn't spank in anger.  It should be a cool down period before.  Just my 2 cents.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

 

I'm white.  This isn't a racial issue. Most people I grew up with were spanked as well.  I completely hate all this "You can never spank a child" BS.  Kids today have a lot less respect than they did in the past IMO.

 

 

How do you know this? When I was 12 all I heard about is how my friends and I only wanted to watch tv, never wanted to go outside, and had no respect for adults.

 

Last month, we had a thread on here by 30something talking about how kids today say inside all day and have no respect - unlike them in the halcyon days of the 90s.

 

I grew up with kids who were hit and become heroin addicts. And kids who were not hit and became heroin addicts. I was not hit and went to an ivy league school. One of my best friends WAS hit and went to an Ivy League school. Her brother was hit and had a cocaine-induced heart attack in his 30s.

 

I don't understand the certainty people speak with on this subject. Maybe the one spanking worked on you, because you - like me - were the type of kid who just wasn't going to get into trouble. My best friend growing up could have been water-boarded by his parents, and he was still going to steal cases of beer when he was 12, because that's just sort of the way he was.

 

Everyone personalizes this and assumes that whatever "worked" for them is:

 

1. Going to work for everyone, and

2. Is the reason they are the way they are today.

 

I find it fascinating that the entirety of the national discussion on this in the wake of the Peterson indictment is simply everyone telling their own story over and over again. On this thread, the only person citing anything other than their own experience is Predicto. I'm just as guilty, but our perspective on this issue never seems to leave our own childhood.

 

[SkinInsite]

The whole kids now have less respect is total BS. Kids have always been kids, doing stupid **** and getting in trouble. 

 

And if all it took is one spanking then your kid probably would turn out fine with no spanking.

[grego]

 

My thought is that that one of the problem with kids today is that they have not been spanked. (spanked, not abused).  Kids have no fear of their parents.  IMO, kids need to know their parents are in charge and won't tolerate nonsense.

 

 

 

 

i dont know if i want my kid to 'fear' me.

 

respect, yes. 

[PeterMP]

How do you know this? When I was 12 all I heard about is how my friends and I only wanted to watch tv, never wanted to go outside, and had no respect for adults.

 

Last month, we had a thread on here by 30something talking about how kids today say inside all day - unlike them in the halcyon days of the 90s.

 

I grew up with kids who were hit and become heroin addicts. And kids who were not hit and became heroin addicts. I was not hit and went to an ivy league school. One of my best friends WAS hit and went to an Ivy League school. Her brother was hit and had a cocaine-induced heart attack in his 30s.

 

I don't understand the certainty people speak with on this subject. Maybe the one spanking worked on you, because you - like me - were the type of kid who just wasn't going to get into trouble. My best friend growing up could have been water-boarded by his parents, and he was still going to steal cases of beer when he was 12, because that's just sort of the way he was.

 

Everyone personalizes this and assumes that whatever "worked" for them is:

 

1. Going to work for everyone, and

2. Is the reason they are the way they are today.

 

My parents used corporal punishment.  My dads favorite thing was to actually lift people up by the ear (yes, I've actually come off the ground because somebody pulled me off the ground by the ear), but I've also been spanked too.

 

I still kept getting in trouble.

 

My older siblings tell the story of them going somewhere and misbehaving in the back seat of the car.  My parents pulled over and spanked the one that was being bad.  The other started laughing at them so they got spanked, which caused the other one to laugh, and this went in cycles for a while.

 

I don't think my youngest brother was ever spanked.  I don't think he actually ever did anything wrong where he was really the principle person.

 

I have to two kids.  The oldest never cries because of pain.  You tell her you are unhappy with her behavior and put her in time out.  She cries and rarely repeats the thing that got her in trouble.

 

My younger one cries at a drop of a hat if she doesn't get what she wants.  She does something wrong and put her in timeout.  She doesn't care.  She'll laugh and "play" while sitting in a chair in a corner if you let her, and then 10 minutes later, she'll go back to doing what she was doing, which got her in trouble in the first place.

 

If I spanked my oldest, even gently, I suspect she'd ball, and she'd remember it and behave.

 

I suspect my youngest might cry if I spanked her hard enough that it actually really hurt, but otherwise she wouldn't, and then 10 minutes later she'd go back to doing what she was doing, which got her in trouble in the first place.

 

Some people just seem to be more inclined to want to please people, including their parents, then others and for people inclined to want to please their parents it doesn't matter how they are disciplined, and for the other kind, I suspect it doesn't matter much either.

 

People that claim they were spanked once and never misbehaved again, I suspect they just were really inclined to please their parents, unless their parent could spank a whole lot harder than my dad, which I think in general is unlikely (I mean if your dad was a professional football player than that changes thing).

[endzone_dave]

 

 

I grew up with kids who were hit and become heroin addicts. And kids who were not hit and became heroin addicts. I was not hit and went to an ivy league school. One of my best friends WAS hit and went to an Ivy League school. Her brother was hit and had a cocaine-induced heart attack in his 30s.

 

 

 

 

I spanked my son a few times and never spanked my daughter who came along a little later.  They both behave pretty well. 

 

My own personal lesson is that there are other ways to parent other than spanking.  I'm glad I figured that out over time and didn't resort to hitting my kids anymore.

[DM72]

The whole kids now have less respect is total BS. Kids have always been kids, doing stupid **** and getting in trouble. 

 

And if all it took is one spanking then your kid probably would turn out fine with no spanking.

 

I'm 41 and I can assure you that some of the things kids say and do is stuff that none of my peers would say and do when we were coming up. I've been around a lot of kids and the total lack of respect for authority is downright disgraceful.

 

There's no one size fits all to parenting. Timeouts might work on SOME kids. Others might look at that and say, "That's it?" Same goes for spanking or what we used to call them, "whoopins."

[SkinInsite]

I'm 41 and I can assure you that some of the things kids say and do is stuff that none of my peers would say and do when we were coming up. I've been around a lot of kids and the total lack of respect for authority is downright disgraceful.

 

There's no one size fits all to parenting. Timeouts might work on SOME kids. Others might look at that and say, "That's it?" Same goes for spanking or what we used to call them, "whoopins."

 

Complaining about the next generation is not new, i'm sure people in the 70s said the same thing.

 

And if corporal punishment is effective why don't we use them for adults, maybe 7 lashes would stop people from getting DUIs.

[Predicto]

Complaining about the next generation is not new, i'm sure people in the 70s said the same thing.

 

 

 

 

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

- Socrates  (no joke)

[codeorama]

Complaining about the next generation is not new, i'm sure people in the 70s said the same thing.

And if corporal punishment is effective why don't we use them for adults, maybe 7 lashes would stop people from getting DUIs.

You are absolutely correct. It is nothing new. However, the level at which they have fallen, the acceptable standards are lower. I say this not as a regular old person that remembers back in the day, I say this a a teacher and the son of a teacher that has seen the standards change over time. We will always complain. But the standard is so low now. I wish I could run a webcam to my class. I'm 44. Many of you younger guys don't have the depth of comparison.

[Predicto]

You are absolutely correct. It is nothing new. However, the level at which they have fallen, the acceptable standards are lower. I say this not as a regular old person that remembers back in the day, I say this a a teacher and the son of a teacher that has seen the standards change over time. We will always complain. But the standard is so low now. I wish I could run a webcam to my class. I'm 44. Many of you younger guys don't have the depth of comparison.

 

 

I'm 52.   My kids and their friends much more hard working and responsible than the kids of my generation in the late 1970s.  

 

Of course, they aren't the runaways hanging out on Haight Street.  I suspect it depends on where you are now (and where you were during the past that you are remembering).  

 

Which is why anecdotes are useless.   I do know that teen crime is way, way down over recent decades.  I suspect that is much more telling information than individual anecdotes about the good ole days. 

[SkinInsite]

You are absolutely correct. It is nothing new. However, the level at which they have fallen, the acceptable standards are lower. I say this not as a regular old person that remembers back in the day, I say this a a teacher and the son of a teacher that has seen the standards change over time. We will always complain. But the standard is so low now. I wish I could run a webcam to my class. I'm 44. Many of you younger guys don't have the depth of comparison.

 

That would really speak to the parents involvement. I doubt a child would improve if their parents just smacked them around a bit but ignored them most of the time.

[Corcaigh]

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

- Socrates  (no joke)

 

 

You know that this is made up. Socrates would be the one telling kids to challenge their parents. 

 

Point taken though by any reasonable measure the better kids today work harder than their parents and grandparents generation did in school, and crime statistics would suggest that the bad kids aren't any worse.

[Predicto]

You know that this is made up. Socrates would be the one telling kids to challenge their parents. 

 

 

 

You are correct.  Apparently it is from Aristophanes.   My bad.

[Corcaigh]

You are correct.  Apparently it is from Aristophanes.   My bad.

 

Pick a classic Greek text (hardbound) off the shelf so that I can beat you with it, and you will learn not to make that mistake again.

[Sacks 'n' Stuff]

You know that this is made up. Socrates would be the one telling kids to challenge their parents. 

I'm pretty sure Socrates would be deactivated if it came out what he was doing to / with kids.

[Predicto]

Pick a classic Greek text (hardbound) off the shelf so that I can beat you with it, and you will learn not to make that mistake again.

 

Use Thucydides.  I want to be unconscious after the first hit.

[Corcaigh]

I'm pretty sure Socrates would be deactivated if it came out what he was doing to / with kids.

 

Yeah ... if he did say anything negative about young boys it would be because they turned down his sexual advances.

[codeorama]

That would really speak to the parents involvement. I doubt a child would improve if their parents just smacked them around a bit but ignored them most of the time.

It does speak to the parents. I'm in no way saying all kids need to be spanked or that spanking will cure all. But I can say with 100% certainty that the main discipline problem students at my school ( 11 of them ) could be cured with a good ass whooping.

There is a lost generation of kids that have no parental involvement. Their parents had them when they were kids and they have been raised by their grandparents. They lack discipline they have not been told no. No one has held them accountable for their actions. Again, not saying spanking cures all. But someone needed to care enough to spank them.

[Destino]

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

- Socrates (no joke)

That's all well and good but what would he have thought of millennials? He'd probably accuse all of us of child abuse for failing them so magnificently.

Should I have put trigger warnings on this post? Also did you have to quote a white man and no one else? You must do better.

[Captain Wiggles]

There is a lost generation of kids that have no parental involvement. Their parents had them when they were kids and they have been raised by their grandparents. They lack discipline they have not been told no. No one has held them accountable for their actions. Again, not saying spanking cures all. But someone needed to care enough to spank them.

 

Every generation seems to say this about the younger generation coming up. Reminds me of this old bit.