Bang Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Depends on what you mean by grudge. Some people I'll never like, some I'll hate forever based on things that have happened in the past. Do I worry over it?/ No. I don't actively go out to cause them pain or harm. But F them. I won't ever do anything to help them, either. I can think of a couple I'd let burn in a fire. ~Bang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destructis Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Depends on what you mean by grudge.Some people I'll never like, some I'll hate forever based on things that have happened in the past. Do I worry over it?/ No. I don't actively go out to cause them pain or harm. But F them. ~Bang I agree with this. Actively going out to cause them pain or harm is stalking. Hearing about karma visiting them can bring a smile to my face. A good example of this is a woman I was dating for a while. She was cheating on me and I found out. It hurt like hell. I found out later that the guy she started dating after me cheated on her and it brought a smile to my face. It didn't take any effort on my part to hold the grudge. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. I am who I am and accept me for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deejaydana Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 maybe he's trying to expiate for his past sins before he dies? (I'm trying to be positive here as it sounds like as an educator he clearly failed you). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Sassy Molassy Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 Nope. Life's too short to worry about past wrongs.In fact, my strength, and probably weakness also, is I really don't take things personally I'm the same way. I am sure to set proper boundaries when someone crosses them and if they continue I may get annoyed. But eventually I'll just stop dealing with a person if they've shown to be unable to be respectful of my wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sinister Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 No, not anymore, no matter the situation, unless it's something very serious, like a loved one being murdered or something like that, and strangely enough, I've come into contact with people who have actually lost loved ones that way, and forgave the person that did it, which completely astonishes me. It takes a very strong person to do something like that. Holding grudges isn't healthy, when it's over something petty, it's stupid. There's no use going through life bitter about everything, and having that anchor constantly drag you down. I'll admit that for some people, including myself, it's something that you have to learn, but once you start doing it, it'll make you feel better, and you'll be a more positive person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinsfan1311 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 **** yes.. I hold grudges forever, can't let it go. On the other hand most things don't upset me to much so I don't have many grudges. This.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deejaydana Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I've got to say that time and age bring you some measure of being mellow and letting things go. When I was younger, teens and 20's, I wouldn't just hold a grudge, invariably I would make sure I settled scores if I felt I'd be wronged. God I hope my boys are more mellow than I was! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSB 21 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 To the OP: you have every right to hold a grudge against this warped ****. He was knowingly effing with you at an impressionable age. Prolly because you were so damned tall in 7th grade/nowadays not so uncommon. How tall was he, about 5'-6"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Depends on what you mean by grudge.Some people I'll never like, some I'll hate forever based on things that have happened in the past. Do I worry over it?/ No. I don't actively go out to cause them pain or harm. But F them. I won't ever do anything to help them, either. I can think of a couple I'd let burn in a fire. ~Bang I agree with this. There are a few...much like the OP, 4th grade was a nightmare for me. My teacher was a complete *****...she had apparently missed the year before for something...IIRC, she had a breakdown in class. Anyway, they thought it was a good move to bring her back after giving her a year off. I had the nicest teacher for third grade and did really well, and for the first few weeks this teacher was equally as nice. As the year went on, she got meaner and meaner, ****ier and ****ier...she straight up told my mom during a parent teacher conference that she didn't like boys. I was a good student up until then, I generally liked school...but she pretty much ruined all of that. I hated school, got ****ty grades...and my parents pulled me out of public school. 5th grade was hell, I was the new kid at a private school, and all of those kids had been going to school together for awhile already....I was taller than everyone else and pretty awkward, too. I just saw a photo of myself from that time and my feet were HUGE, it was hilarious. I probably would have made fun of myself, too...but those kids were *******s. Things got a little better every year from 6th-8th grade but I still have no desire to interact with any of them when they add me on facebook. I either don't accept their request or just let em linger in facebook limbo for awhile. Other than that, not really. But I wouldn't pee on any of them if they were on fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsfan07 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Nope. Life's too short to worry about past wrongs.In fact, my strength, and probably weakness also, is I really don't take things personally Hell yeah man, same here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I held one for 3 years, and it wrecked my life. Literally. I haven't forgotten, but I've forgiven. And it's been the most liberating and wonderful thing I've ever done for myself. One very important lesson my trials in life has taught me is this. Forgiveness, and the ability to forgive, isn't for the other person. It's for you. If you have a grudge, let it go, and move forward with all the love and strength God, the universe, or whatever you choose to believe or not believe can give you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebluefood Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Nope. Life's way too short. People are gonna do wrong by you, but holding grudges (even if they may seem justified) is just one more thing to worry about and hinders the process of forgiveness. Also, the way I see it, if those Amish folks could forgive that **** that killed those little girls; I can forgive people for the petty **** they might do to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Weirdo Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Life is too short to hold a grudge. Everything is meaningless when you accept the inevitability of your own death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grego Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Not at all. For some reason, the bulk of my anger is released at that moment, and then I let it roll off me. I remember, but in general, I don't let it form who I am. thats a good attitude. i actually do hold grudges at times, even though i know i should not. pretty odd, OP, that this guy is trying to contact you. i want an update. is he trying to apologize? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Life is too short to hold a grudge.Everything is meaningless when you accept the inevitability of your own death. W...in...T....F?! Man....Talk about your blasts from the past. Great to see you, man. Hope you're well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney B Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Life is too short to hold a grudge.Everything is meaningless when you accept the inevitability of your own death. Yep. Though I'd say that everything is meaningful. Including the deep sense of compassion that seeing death up close can bring. Life is short. No sense making it short and miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tdigle Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 It all depends. If life's not going so well, I'll probably hold one or two. When things pick up again for the better, I tend to forget about all the wrongs that I felt have been perpetrated against me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Passepartout Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Yes all the time, everytime. As know that is bad. But also, feel as though people deserve their "Just Desserts!" But then again, sure that everybody thinks that I deserve my "Just Desserts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark The Homer Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 If somebody ****s me over, especially a so-called friend, I don't forget it anytime soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S.T.real,lights,out Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 **** yes.. Sums it up for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudechain Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I used to hold grudges but not so much anymore. We all tend to naturally, but over the years I came to the conclusion it's a waste of time and energy. Forgive but don't forget. Learn and move on and all that you know. Sure it's not easy, but as stated earlier, it is quite liberating when you let it go. I was once told. " don't let them rent space in your head." and it makes a lot of sense. Holding a grudge has no effect on anyone but you. The other party is not held back, impeded or placed at any disadvantage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HailGreen28 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Hate the sin, not the sinner. I do hold grudges, but prefer to think of them as "reminders". Fool me once... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
War Paint Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I'm usually real good about getting over grudges, but there are two people from many, many years ago that still anger me to this day when I think about them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedskinFeathers Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I don't get mad a lot and I tend to let a lot of the petty crap slide - so when someone really ****s me over I hold a mean grudge. I try to forgive people and not let them bother me, but that doesn't mean I want them in my life any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyt Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Depends on what you mean by grudge.Some people I'll never like, some I'll hate forever based on things that have happened in the past. Do I worry over it?/ No. I don't actively go out to cause them pain or harm. But F them. I won't ever do anything to help them, either. I can think of a couple I'd let burn in a fire. ~Bang I definitely agree with this. Though I would replace "hate" with "indifference" (takes less effort to be indifferent) I'll never forget what a complete ******* my 6th grade teacher was ...he was also my nextdoor neighbor! I hear he's still a douchebag..now in his 70s..but thats on him. Somebody said forgiveness isnt for them, it's for you..I believe that as well. One question..is it ok to say "I forgive you ..now go **** yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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