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I'd like ____ if it weren't for ______


Spaceman Spiff

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I'd like U2 if it weren't for Bono. I hate that prick...self righteous, arrogant ****.

I had the radio on earlier and they were playing U2's new single, I found myself actually liking it. But then I remembered I hate Bono and had to change the station.

It's not so much that I hate his message or what he has to say, its that I just hate HIM. If you really want a better glimpse of how I feel, go here: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=11worst NSFW language.

I've never bought a U2 cd for that reason, and I've never even bit torrented or downloaded any of their material. Thats right, I won't even pirate U2's music because I hate Bono that much.

So whats something you'd like if it weren't for a band member, actor, etc?

Keep it politics and religion free, ES Tailgate. No "I'd like Obama if he were a Republican" crap.

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I'd like U2 if it weren't for Bono. I hate that prick...self righteous, arrogant ****.

That reminds me of the Mojo Nixon song Don Henley Must Die. Just substitute in Bono and you're all set.

This is the sound of my brain.

Then I said, this is the sound of my brain on Don Henley!

Then I said, 1 2 3 4...

He's a tortured artist

Used to be in the Eagles

Now he whines

Like a wounded beagle

Poet of despair!

Pumped up with hot air!

He's serious, pretentious

And I just don't care

Don Henley must die!

Don't let him get back together

With Glenn Frey!

Don Henley must die!

Turn on the TV

And what did I see?

This bloated hairy thing

Winning a Grammy

Best Rock Vocalist?

Compared to what?

But your pseudo-serious

Crafty Satanic blot

Don Henley must die!

Put a sharp stick in his eye!

Don Henley must die!

Yea yea yea

Quit playin' that crap

You're out of the band

I'm only kidding

Can't you tell?

I love his sensitive music

Idiot poetry, swell

You and your kind

Are killing rock and roll

It's not because you are O L D

It's cause you ain't got no soul!

Don't be afraid of fun

Loosen up your ponytail!

Be wild, young, free and dumb

Get your head out of your tail

Don Henley must die!

Don't let him get back together

With Glenn Frey!

Don Henley must die!

Put him in the electric chair

Watch him fry!

Don Henley must die

Don Henley must die

No Eagles reunion

The same goes for you, Sting!

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I'd like to be a homosexual... if it wasn't for having sex with men.

you know... hang out with "the guys" alot more, dress better, dance better, chicks would like me better....... but then, there is that "sex with other men" thing. What a drag.

Norm MacDonald?

Anyways, I'd like yogurt and mayo if they didn't remind me of semen....

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