Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I dated one Muslim girl and had friendships with a few others. I'm assuming that she is not conservative, because if she was, she may not be speaking to you let alone dating you. So...treat her like anyone else. And try not to be a racist ass who thinks that all Muslims are dark-skinned, because you are going to get yourself in trouble doing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiscoBob Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I think it's a little bit naive to say "be yourself, don't assume anything, be open, etc". Islam as a faith is can be very violent to people that they view as traders to the faith. I recognize that there are other examples of this outside of Islam, I'm not trying to get into some sort of comparative discussion. However, at this point, this is a somewhat common occurrence in the Muslim world. Understanding what you are getting yourself into is a good idea. I wouldn't assume tons about her family at first, but I would make it a point to find out that information before you get too far into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistertim Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Islam as a faith is can be very violent to people that they view as traders to the faith. So you're saying Muslims are anti-free market? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symbol Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 As a person of faith albeit not Islam, I'd strongly suggest you respect her faith as much as she does if you can't do that then get walking. Don't act like her faith is irrelevant in your relationship, because it isn't irrelevant if it is relevant to her. As a father who wants the best spiritually for my daughter I'd wonder why you were considering a relationship with a woman that you didn't share faith with. So ASF, you're saying that I'm a bad man for being with my girlfriend and seriously talking to her about starting a family, even though we have different "spiritual" beliefs, her being Lutheran and me being Buddhist? Oh no, well guess, even though I respect you, not going to go with that advice. As for the OP, the next time you're alone with her, just ask her questions, first about her and then what she believes. If she asks you why, just tell her that you're interested in getting to know her better, because you really do like her. This solves a lot of problems, and you have the fact that if she is a normal woman, she's going to want to talk about herself to you anyway and will like you more because you're wanting to get to know her more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingGibbs Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I can't believe all these posts and the most important question hasn't been asked. Do you have a picture of her? Also, does she use toilet paper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 And try not to be a racist ass who thinks that all Muslims are dark-skinned Unless of course it turns her on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
88Comrade2000 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Meet the parents and you will know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiscoBob Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 So you're saying Muslims are anti-free market? LOL - exactly...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 So ASF, you're saying that I'm a bad man for being with my girlfriend and seriously talking to her about starting a family, even though we have different "spiritual" beliefs, her being Lutheran and me being Buddhist? Oh no, well guess, even though I respect you, not going to go with that advice. I'm just saying that I go with the teaching that couples shouldn't be unequally yoked, I never said you were a bad man, I think you know better than that, what I am saying is that for two people who have very different spiritual commitments there are many practical and spiritual challenges that they will face, some of which are irreconcilable. As a pastor and a father I tend to counsel against mixed faith relationships because these issues are not easily resolved when two people hold strongly to their faiths as their faiths teach. As for you being a Lutheran...well that's barely even Christian. Sorry, we librawl Methodists have to pick on someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'm gonna have to agree with Asbury here. It may be something that can be glossed over in the early stages of a relationship, but eventually it will cause friction. Couples want their spouses to be involved in their interests. It is hard to be invovled long term in something you don't believe in. Involving yourself in someones faith is a lot different than involving yourself in thier hobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oisn1 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Islam as a faith is can be very violent to people that they view as traders to the faith. I recognize that there are other examples of this outside of Islam, I'm not trying to get into some sort of comparative discussion. However, at this point, this is a somewhat common occurrence in the Muslim world. Understanding what you are getting yourself into is a good idea. I wouldn't assume tons about her family at first, but I would make it a point to find out that information before you get too far into it. Maybe outside of the US or whatever. I think you'll find that most American Muslims are pretty chill. There will probably be some issues with religion (like potentially converting if the family is conservative), but most families aren't too serious about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbws Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I was raised Catholic. Both of my sons were Bar Mitzvah boys. I doesn't matter. I'm the same person I was. I had already given Catholicism the boot. ...and the brisket isn't bad either. p.s. She should also respect your beliefs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sisko Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 So you're saying Muslims are anti-free market? :ols: As for the OP, I agree with others advising being yourself, being open to learning about another culture, including the language...the food will be easier as Turkish food is damn good. However as much as you can you'd better keep your feelings in check because when the rubber meets the road she's going to want a Muslim hubby if she's serious about her faith. If you're not willing or able to convert, you're toast. The good news is that the racism thing can work in your favor as well as many (not all) Muslims are "color struck" so if you're a White American Muslim convert you're generally gold. Moreover, Islam as a faith is in general very accepting of converts. Also, Turks can be pretty cool and in my experience most of them tend not to be religious zealots due to the history of their country (you'll need to read about Attaturk, among other stuff). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 So ASF, you're saying that I'm a bad man for being with my girlfriend and seriously talking to her about starting a family, even though we have different "spiritual" beliefs, her being Lutheran and me being Buddhist? To be clear though, a Finnish Lutheran would never be mistaken for an American Protestant. From conversations with the Finns I know they welcome LBGT, support abortion, are anti-creationist, are OK with pre-marital sex, etc. etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symbol Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 To be clear though, a Finnish Lutheran would never be mistaken for an American Protestant. From conversations with the Finns I know they welcome LBGT, support abortion, are anti-creationist, are OK with pre-marital sex, etc. etc. Yeah, I just had to mess with ASF a bit. Heli is fine with my beliefs as I am with her's. If we decide to have kids we plan on bringing them up with both beliefs. As long as a person lives a peaceful and good life, that's all that matters to me. I'm just saying that I go with the teaching that couples shouldn't be unequally yoked, I never said you were a bad man, I think you know better than that, what I am saying is that for two people who have very different spiritual commitments there are many practical and spiritual challenges that they will face, some of which are irreconcilable. As a pastor and a father I tend to counsel against mixed faith relationships because these issues are not easily resolved when two people hold strongly to their faiths as their faiths teach. As for you being a Lutheran...well that's barely even Christian. Sorry, we librawl Methodists have to pick on someone. I am not Lutheran. I believe in the teachings of Buddha, you should know this about me by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 To be clear though, a Finnish Lutheran would never be mistaken for an American Protestant. From conversations with the Finns I know they welcome LBGT, support abortion, are anti-creationist, are OK with pre-marital sex, etc. etc. See, like I said, barely Christian. :pfft: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corcaigh Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 See, like I said, barely Christian. :pfft: True; some of the most decent folks on the planet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 True; some of the most decent folks on the planet. Alright there Garrison! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoCalMike Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'll approach this as real as I can given the people and situations I have personal experience with. I worked with a girl who was Pakistani and was "dating" an Indian guy. They hid the relationship because it was something neither set of parents would ever approve of so ultimately if they ever decided to either reveal their relationship or want to get married, they would be disowned or severely cut off for the most part, or their parents and relatives would "get over it" and be accepting of their son/daughter marrying a good person who happened to be of different ethnic background/faith. The result: The Pakistani girl never went through with revealing her relationship with the guy and gave in to her parent's plan for her and flew back to Pakistan for an arranged marriage. Not sure what ever happened with the boyfriend, although she told me he was frustrated about the situation. I know this isn't exactly the same as your situation and Turkish isn't Indian or Pakistani, but I think the lesson here is make sure that either: A) Her family is ok with the fact that she is dating someone non Turkish/non muslim or She is willing to take the lumps in life that come with her parent's disproving of this union I know you aren't getting married and just started dating, but if you date a girl you like and could see yourself with forever, relationships could progress pretty fast and next thing you know, you've invested a ton of time, money, heartache etc etc etc into it, and I would hate for it be over a girl who would drop you like a hat the minute her parents put their foot down. It's probably too early RIGHT NOW to bring any of this stuff up with her, but if you are looking to take this thing to the next step, it is better to know her feelings on these issues up front, just so the both of you know where each other stand moving forward. She might not personally be uber-religious, but a lot of first generation folks from other countries and of different religions are the kin of parents who still have heavy ties to their old country's and will basically go through the motions to do whatever pleases their parents when it comes to customs and marriage ceremonies etc etc etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Hammer Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Dating a Muslim girl is no different than dating anyone of another religious or cultural background. If there is mutual respect, then there won't be problems.Sadly, with my only experience with a Muslim girl, the topic of 'conversion' came up on like the third date and me being a godless liberal bothered the living crap out of her. I know where your coming from bruv. I dated a girl who I got along great with. We never had any problems until she found out I was a Christian Conservative. I never had a problem with her political or religious beliefs but she could never look past mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koolblue13 Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 what a strange thread. the OP (8181= haha) never came back in and the one guy nobody understands is the one advocating open communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 It's tough. I'm Catholic and I dated a Southern Baptist one time. Her parents weren't to happy with that. It lasted about 6 monhts, but I don't think she broke up with me because I was Catholic, I think her parents put too much pressure on her. I was 26 and she was 20 and in college. I think they were afraid we were getting too serious, which we weren't. When her father asked where I was from, I said DC/MD area. This is where it gets weird. He said to me, "you guys got alot of N*****s up there in DC don't ya!" I was stunned that he asked me that. I said, "yes we have blacks in DC, just like you guys here in Memphis, except they don't have an accent." I thought that was the perfect response. I think he was a card carrying member of the KKK. I bet if I had have searched his closet, I would have found a robe and hood. And what was weird was, after Rachel, they didn't think they could have anymore kids, so they adopted an Asian boy, but then her mom got pregnant. He ran a dairy farm and I think they wanted a male to take over. Now they had 2. They were 8 years old when I met Rachel, so she was quite older than her brothers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riggo-toni Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 If u want to turn her on sexually, get a Star of David tattooed on your right shoulder. If that doesn't seem to work initially, show it off to her brothers - they'll lovee you for it and want her to give in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Interesting PJ, I dated a Southern Baptist in college myself, and ran into the same racial issues, though it was from her, not her parents. Though I expect that she picked it up from them. She dropped the N-bomb all the time and seemed to think nothing of it. We broke up shortly after I informed her that I had a few close friends up here where I grew up who would be offended by her use of the word, and might actually punch her for it, and that I wouldn't feel obligated to step in and stop them (I had already expressed my displeasure at her use of the word previously). Oddly, we didn't last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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