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I personally will be happy when the phrases, "Reeally??" and "Are you KIDDIN' ME", make there way out of the population's popular lexicon.


"So I was in line at the store and this lady in front of me flipped out because her coupon expired last week..................... Really? Is that 10 cents off that important? REALLY?"


"So after working 70 hours all week my boss said I have to come in on Saturday beacause we're still behind......... I was like.... Are you KIDDIN' ME?"

You know what Captain Clever? Just STFU. YES really and NO I'm not kidding you.

(Not to be confused with the amusing "O RLY" gifs and pics we've all come to enjoy while perusing the internets.)

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I hate cowards.

I work as a bouncer on weekends. Last night I was doing some rounds at about 1 AM when I saw a fight break out outside. I called for the other bouncer and ran outside. There were two guys fighting, a 215 pound guy and a 180 pound guy. The 180 pound guy was kind of a pansy and was getting hit pretty bad, so naturally I went after the bigger guy and tried to subdue him.

The bigger guy was trying to buck me off so I finally get a rear naked choke on him. He stopped fighting and I released the hold and brought my arms down in a bear hug in order to control his arms. At this point I noticed that the littler guy had disappeared.

I was trying to calm the big guy down as he was still screaming and yelling... Then he started to go crazy again so I looked at him for a good, safe way to take him down. I figured out I was going to sweep his leg and collapse him down lightly onto my knee and then drop him on the concrete. I positioned my head about a foot from his, maintaining the bear hug. Just as I'm about to take him down I just feel an impact on the side of my face.

I know it's not the big guy because I have his arms. I look up to see that the little guy had punched me in the side of the face. The big guy started going crazy again.

I said screw it and straight up tackled the bigger guy. I'm talking perfect form tackle. I landed on top of him, pushed my hand down on him and spun my head trying to locate the other little ****.

At this point the other bouncer and a posse of people come running out the door. Apparently he didn't hear me call for him. The kid who hit me retreated as far back as he could with a human buffer around him.

I just reacted and lurched forward at him, but there were about ten people between us. Which is a good thing.

People who were watching said that as soon as I got punched I looked possessed. I didn't flinch or anything with the impact... I guess they said my eyes just opened wide and darted towards the kid. They told me I flung the big guy down like a rag doll and then when I got up I had this look on my face.

The punch wound up messing up my face pretty good, although the impact of the punch really didn't faze me. I have pretty bad swelling and there's a good sized black and blue mark right on my right eye socket.

I was told later that the kid took a ten foot running head start and blasted me in the side of the face. The popular theory is that he waited for me to subdue the other kid and then came flying in to try to get a sucker punch on the bigger guy, since I had him and obviously wasn't letting him go. I'm not exaggerating, my head was about a foot away from his. This kid either had real bad aim or he aimed at me.

After the punch I went in the back room and flipped out. Lost it. Kicked the wall, dented a liquor storage cabinet, etc.

I'm so glad that they stopped me from going after that kid. It would have been real bad I think as I blacked out from anger. After about forty five minutes I was able to calm down and finish working fairly calmly, although I felt like a total jackass walking around with the corner of my eye nearly swollen shut and the whole side of my face swollen to the size of half a baseball.

So yeah, last night sucked :ols:

Edited by KDawg
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Living close to my parents isn't so bad :D

My mom came by and "helped" :ha: me clean :)

Unfortunately my dad's recovering from a cold so he'll have to stop by later this week to help me set up my Wii.

you can't set up your Wii by yourself? I mean, even I can set up a Wii by myself.

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I don't understand why the little guy would have hit you

I'd agree with the "popular theory."

He was probably trying to get in a big hit on the larger guy before everything was broken up for good, but fell off balance from his running start and hit KDawg instead.

A foot of space isn't very much when you're brawling wasted.

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you can't set up your Wii by yourself? I mean, even I can set up a Wii by myself.

What she said

You'd think anyone can set up a Wii

Even if you couldn't just read the instructions, probably have some simple instructions with pictures :ols:

If he can't set up a Wii how is he going to set up a 360 or a Ps3 for "Madden"

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