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The Own3d Thread.(Keep it clean)


unsonny

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Yeah, whatever. I, for one, am looking forward to no homework at night and on weekends...

Wait until you work for a company for 10 years and then all of the sudden out of the blue they say, "guess what? you have to work every other weekend now," like my job just recently announced to us. LIFE SUCKS!!

Edited by pjfootballer
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Aussie Cop on DUI Patrol Owned:

Recently a routine police patrol car parked outside a local Queensland neighbourhood pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man leaving the bar just before closing time so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then he flicked the indicators on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He lurched the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.

The police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".

Edited by Dan T.
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Washington Wizard Guard Jordan Crawford:

"I don't tell nobody, but I feel like I can be better than Michael Jordan," Crawford said, without the slightest hint of sarcasm. "When I'm done playing, I don't want people to say, Michael Jordan is the best player. I want that to be me. That's how I am. That's how I was built."

Um, what? You realize people will look at you sideways and think you're crazy for saying that, right?

"Yeah, I know that, I definitely know that. But I'm not settling for anything less," Crawford said. "I feel like I'm better than him, anyway. My mom is going to say I'm better than him."

Edited by Drew_Fl
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