The Parenting Thread - Advice, Tips, Etc.

[Renegade7]

I can't answer that because I don't have any kids and if I didn't re-find my faith, we likely aren't having this conversation right now.

 

If i was an atheist with a dying kid, I'd distract them best I could until they brought it up.  If they do, I would not give them the "end is black nothingness speech", that's just wrong.

[tshile]

So my (nearly) 2 year old...

He has a fascination with electrical outlets. Unplugs stuff, plugs stuff back in. Today he nearly plugged an aux cable into one of the outlets. The kid won't listen and I have half a mind to let him shock himself so that he will learn first hand about electricity.

I feel like you have the 8 month older version of my kid.

[Skinsfan1311]

Kinda OT, but the "atheist" thing reminded me of something that drives me nuts.

Admittedly, I'm not the best Christian, but I am a Catholic, and I believe in God.

My sister, who is a great Mom, and her husband are atheists, and they're raising our nephews, (ages 13 and 9), as atheists too.

Sometimes, she's a bit smarmy about it.

In spite of this, they expect Christmas presents, and dye Easter Eggs, and get Easter baskets.

WTF??

I tell my wife that if my sister is so strongly convinced that there is no God, than they should not get Christmas presents, or Easter baskets.

I'm dead serious about this. I love my sister, brother-in-law and nephews, but I feel strongly about this.

Of course, Mrs Skinfan just shakes her head, and tells me something like, "Don't be stupid, it's not fair to the kids"

Am I wrong here?

[HOF44]

If Fran says you are wrong, you're wrong. Duh!!!

[Skinsfan1311]

If Fran says you are wrong, you're wrong. Duh!!!

Sigh....I know...shakes head, sadly, and moves on....

[TheGoodBits]

Easter baskets and Christmas presents are wholly secular aspects of those holidays. No reason the kids can't have fun with that.

[Renegade7]

Kinda OT, but the "atheist" thing reminded me of something that drives me nuts.

Am I wrong here?

You're not wrong, but its a free country (which is what I keep telling myself). Are they at least being told the origin of these holidays, even if they are raising the kids atheist? I've known plenty of people who believe in God, but based on their family's beliefs growing up did not celebrate Christmas.

[dfitzo53]

Easter baskets and Christmas presents are wholly secular aspects of those holidays. No reason the kids can't have fun with that.

In a perfect world I think we'd just make that official. I don't think there ought to be anything secular about Christmas and Easter, which are widely recognized as the two most important Christian holidays. (This isn't really the place to debate their origins.)

What I'm saying is that we may as well just have an open, secular gift-giving festival in the winter. Lots of families and businesses already do this under the guise of Santa anyway. Then we can all have some cool celebrations when the weather changes in the Spring. People who want to observe the Christian holidays can do so and nobody has to pretend anything about themselves or others.

There's tons to learn there about the way different cultures herald the arrival of Spring.

[Sacks 'n' Stuff]

Yeah, sure. Give the little hethens some Legos. Why the hell not.

[Skinsfan1311]

You're not wrong, but its a free country (which is what I keep telling myself). Are they at least being told the origin of these holidays, even if they are raising the kids atheist? I've known plenty of people who believe in God, but based on their family's beliefs growing up did not celebrate Christmas.

Probably.

My sister and brother-in-law are great parents.

[Skinsfan1311]

Yeah, sure. Give the little hethens some Legos. Why the hell not.

How did you know that I call them little heathens??

How did you know that I call them little heathens??

Hell, one of our Grandsons is being raised Hindi,(our daughter-in-law is Indian).

You should've seen her reaction, when I asked her, "Why are we buying him Christmas presents??"

[Dont Taze Me Bro]

Kinda OT, but the "atheist" thing reminded me of something that drives me nuts.

Admittedly, I'm not the best Christian, but I am a Catholic, and I believe in God.

My sister, who is a great Mom, and her husband are atheists, and they're raising our nephews, (ages 13 and 9), as atheists too.

Sometimes, she's a bit smarmy about it.

In spite of this, they expect Christmas presents, and dye Easter Eggs, and get Easter baskets.

WTF??

I tell my wife that if my sister is so strongly convinced that there is no God, than they should not get Christmas presents, or Easter baskets.

I'm dead serious about this. I love my sister, brother-in-law and nephews, but I feel strongly about this.

Of course, Mrs Skinfan just shakes her head, and tells me something like, "Don't be stupid, it's not fair to the kids"

Am I wrong here?

 

My sister in law is atheist, my BIL is not.  She has always exchanged gifts with the entire family. She will even show respect at funerals, family dinners where they pray before eating and bow her head, go through the motions.  

 

As far as the gift giving at Christmas, I think it's fine, regardless of how they are raising the kids.  Look at it from the child's perspective and the situation it would put them in with friends when they ask what they got for Christmas and they say nothing, my parents don't allow us to celebrate Christmas.  

 

It would be extremely awkward for them and might even push kids away from them.  Especially if one of their friends brings it up to their parents, then they start asking questions and stop letting their child play with them, etc.  

[TheGoodBits]

For the record, I'm somewhere between an atheist, an agnostic, and a Diest. I reject the concept of organized religion. My wife isn't particularly religious either, so we won't be raising our 6mo old son as a Christian (to the displeasure of the rest of our family I'm sure). That said, Christian holidays and traditions are such a large part of our culture I don't see any reason to not have him participate in them. I'm sure he'll be getting Easter baskets, dyeing eggs, etc. He's definitely going to be getting Christmas presents. Or "holiday presents." Or whatever. Not really a big deal to me. Not going to let my personal beliefs get in the way of fun traditions that he'll enjoy.

[Springfield]

When Jesus Christ starts handing out presents instead of Santa Claus, I'll stop putting up lights at my house, decorating my tree and giving presents to my friends and family.

I thoroughly enjoy the season, one mind you that was co-opted from the pagans, so I'll teach my kids to enjoy it as well. If they want to know the story of Jesus' birth I'll tell them.

Don't tell me I can't celebrate if I want to, though. There is too much wrong with the church (all of them) for someone to tell me what I can or can't do with their holidays.

I feel like you have the 8 month older version of my kid.

Good luck

[Elessar78]

It's like the iPod. mp3s were around before Steve Jobs. Jobs just made everyone want it. Same with xmas. 

[tshile]

Good luck

 

It's a good thing I care that it's not socially acceptable to beat a 13 month old.

 

Little **** knows damn well what he's doing and looks around the room for me, waits for me to make eye contact, once i see him he laughs then does it.

 

I've wanted to punt him out of the living room on numerous occasions.

[Springfield]

It's a good thing I care that it's not socially acceptable to beat a 13 month old.

Little **** knows damn well what he's doing and looks around the room for me, waits for me to make eye contact, once i see him he laughs then does it.

I've wanted to punt him out of the living room on numerous occasions.

Yeah. It's difficult to know exactly how to react in these situations, cause I don't want to hit him and yelling isn't much better either.

[tshile]

Yeah I just laugh in the end.

He'll get his one day.

[dfitzo53]

It's funny how early they learn to read your emotions and toy with you.

The brain development part of child rearing is fascinating to me.

Timeout was extremely effective with our daughter (older) for all sorts of behaviors that needed to be corrected. Results with our son have been mixed.

[PleaseBlitz]

I'm an atheist and i love Christmas.  Other than the name, giving gifts and decorating your house with tinsel and snowmen around the winter solstice has basically nothing to do with religion.

 

I also love Eid Mubarak and pretty much all festivals and feasts, religious or otherwise.

 

Happy Holidays.

[tshile]

I wonder what the result of celebrating all main stream religious holidays with a child would be. My hypothesis would be a sense of respect for all religions, while maybe also finding one he/she likes or choosing to be artiest or agnostic.

 

I was 'raised' christian, but struggle identifying with any religion or even the fundamental idea of whether there is a God (or many) or afterlife, etc. I just cop out and say I'm agnostic to avoid having to commit to anything.

 

I tend to find the notion of god/afterlife ridiculous or something created to control people, but at the same time find myself saying a quick prayer when i (or a friend or my family) is going through something incredibly trying. So I'm currently in this weird position where all of our family is insisting we baptize our child, trying to convince us to go to church with them (or discussing how they will take our kid with them when he's older), or other things and it's a weird, fine line to try to walk.

[Fergasun]

My son turned 11 yesterday. This is about the age that we no longer have to invite a bunch of friends, host a party, etc.

Our family tradition is to choose breakfast, lunch and dinner for your birthday - he wanted a bacon and egg sandwhich, Little Ceasars pizza, and Woodranch Grill (bbq place) for dinner. Plus I will take him and friends to waterpark on Monday.

We also let our kids stay up all night... I was surprised but he played Minecraft all night and I just kicked him into bed.

Nothing else to add, except time flies. I have no idea how to go through "the talk" with him, but its about that time. I guess I am looking for advice... my dad told me "Don't do anything bad" and that was the gist of it. I never felt comfortable talking anything with him... so I don't want to follow that advice.

[Springfield]

Just sit him down in front of pornhub like my dad did with me.

[dfitzo53]

I teach middle school and I, along with all the other teachers, teach a period of sex ed for a few weeks each year.

So many kids come in with nothing, or at least nothing outside of the rumors they hear from friends. It's important that they get correct info and a positive mindset about themselves and their bodies from someone they trust.

Since the dynamic of hearing it from a parent is different than from a teacher I can't really give specific advice from a position of experience. I just wanted to point out that I think you'll be doing the right thing if you can find a way to do it that works for you.

[Dont Taze Me Bro]

Nothing else to add, except time flies. I have no idea how to go through "the talk" with him, but its about that time. I guess I am looking for advice... my dad told me "Don't do anything bad" and that was the gist of it. I never felt comfortable talking anything with him... so I don't want to follow that advice.

 

I have an 8 1/2 year old daughter, so the wife will have the talk with her.  As far as boys go, he's in the 5th or 6th grade right?  Did they not already have sex ed at school?  Just jump right in and start talking would be my advice.  

 

My dad brought me a book on reproduction (checked it out of the library) and just started talking about it.  I was 7 or 8 years old and didn't want to hear it, but none the less we had the talk.  Then I read through the book.  It wasn't until I got into high school the "Keep your pecker in your pants" talks happened.