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Florida....? oh yeah, Florida.


mcsluggo

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3 hours ago, China said:

Dead man found inside SUV with pile of parking tickets on windshield

 

For four days, city parking officers slapped tickets on an SUV parked three blocks from the Broward County Courthouse. When Carolyn White noticed the pile of citations, she wondered what was going on. She stepped closer to the car to peek inside.

 

"Oh my God, please tell me this man is not dead," White thought.

 

Inside the Isuzu Axiom was the body of Jacob Morpeau, 62, of Miami. He was sitting in the driver's seat, and his upper body lay face down over the SUV's center console. His hand held a credit card, White said.

 

The Broward County Medical Examiner's office later said Morpeau had died from natural causes and had been ill with hypertensive cardiovascular disease. What's not known is how long Morpeau's body had been inside the Isuzu.

 

The medical examiner could not pinpoint the date of death.

 

The SUV was issued tickets from Nov. 12 through Nov. 15, the day Morpeau's body was found. Whether he was inside the Isuzu when the tickets were put on the windshield is also not known.

 

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But did he vote?

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  • 2 weeks later...

A neighbor was asked to clean a home. She found a grenade in the oven.

 

MANATEE 
A neighbor helping to clean a vacated mobile home discovered a grenade strapped to a package with a highly flammable substance Saturday morning, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

 

The device was removed safely, and no injuries were reported.

 

The 82-year-old resident of the mobile home in K & K Mobile Home Park, 4918 14th St. W., Bradenton, had moved out on Thursday, when his 56-year-old son came and took him back to Lufkin, Texas, with him, according to a news release.

 

Before they left, the son asked a neighbor to clean up the mobile home and pack up all of his father’s belongings, the release said.

 

On Saturday morning, the neighbor opened the home’s oven and found a pineapple-style grenade strapped to a package with duct tape, deputies said.

One of the gas burners on the stove was turned on, but the flame was not lit, the neighbor told deputies. The neighbor shut off the burner and left the mobile home, the release said.

 

The sheriff’s office was called, and the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office bomb squad and the Manatee County hazardous materials team responded. Authorities said the smell of leaking natural gas was noticeable throughout the mobile home.

 

The bomb squad confirmed that the device was a grenade and that the substance secured to the grenade was highly flammable nitrocellulose in solid form.

 

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Couple who ran a healthy living blog are arrested after five malnourished children are found living with them in car in Florida Wal-Mart parking lot

 

A man and woman are facing child neglect charges after a sheriff's deputy found five malnourished children living in a car parked outside a Wal-Mart store.

 

...

 

The children are ages 14, 8, 6, 5 and 4. The police report blocked out the relationship between the couple and the children.

Authorities say the children are underweight, but the 14-year-old boy's bones 'were clearly visible.' He reportedly only weighed five pounds more than his eight-year-old sibling and had unusually high blood pressure.

 

Deputies said the children only ate bread and salad once a day and had not seen a doctor in years. 

Unlike the children, the report said that the couple seemed healthy and clean.

 

...

 

The couple have a blog called Holistically Beautiful for 'those interested in a holistic and balanced lifestyle.'

 

On the blog, Barron says he has a 'Master's Degree in Rehab Science/Substance Abuse' and Hart says she has her 'Bachelor's is [sic] Speech Communication and has a background in Banking, Dance Therapy, Childbirth Preparation.' Hart's LinkedIn page says she graduated from Clarion University in Pennsylvania.

 

Barron reportedly told cops that he was Native American and 'is not property of the US or any corporation.' 

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

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911 caller: ‘His head is out the window with a long rifle and shooting at cows'

 

New video and 911 calls are giving a clearer picture into the moments when troopers said a man was hanging out of a car on the Turnpike and shooting an assault rifle at cows.

 

A witness said he couldn’t tell he was hearing gunfire at first; he thought his tire blew, but then he looked over and saw the weapon.

 

“It was loud. He was right next to me. I heard like four shots pop off,” the witness told a 911 dispatcher.

 

...

 

“Basically a white male, sticking his head out the window with a long rifle and shooting at the cows,” said the caller.

 

Troopers pulled over a vehicle matching the caller’s description. They said when Elvis Artola got out of the car, he smelled like alcohol and wouldn’t tell them what happened down the road.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Florida Man Has Best Excuse Ever For Being Naked At Car Wash

 

You’ve heard of the naked truth. But what about naked “alternative facts”?

 

That could describe the excuse offered by a Florida man accused of being naked at a car wash.

 

Police in Pensacola arrested 52-year-old Charles William Raulerson early Sunday after getting a call about a naked man in the car wash parking lot. Responding officers reported seeing Raulerson standing around without pants blaring music from his vehicle, according to the Pensacola News Journal.

 

When deputies asked Raulerson to put his clothes on, he gave a response worthy of any “alternative fact” dished out by the Trump administration: “They took off running by themselves without me.” 

 

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Wanted for questioning....

 

what-was-i-scared-of.png

Edited by China
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http://www.local10.com/news/florida/miami-beach/south-florida-rapper-busted-for-drugs-while-illegally-parked-in-handicapped-spot

 

Quote

South Florida rapper busted for gun, drugs while illegally parked in handicapped spot

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. - South Florida rapper Stitches was arrested after police found a gun and drugs in his car when he was stopped for parking in a handicapped spot, according to an arrest report.  <more at link>

 

 

i keep trying to insert his picture... but i am unable to at the moment.

 (he is a handsome and charming looking fella, that grandmothers everywhere are wishing would date their grand-daughters)

 

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Fla. pastor flees naked and afraid, begs forgiveness for tryst

 

TALLAHASSEE — A well-known Tallahassee pastor was forced to flee naked after a husband came home early and found him having sex with the man's wife.

 

...

 

After the husband interrupted the tryst, he yelled, "I'm gonna kill him," and ran to the master bedroom for his handgun; Simmons fled the apartment naked and hid behind a nearby fence.

 

The wife then called the police and her husband left with Simmons' clothes, wallet and car keys, which he threatened to drop off at the church. He also threatened to expose Simmons on Facebook.

 

The wife told police her husband never threatened her and she declined to press charges. Simmons also declined to press charges. State Attorney Jack Campbell, "citing the interests of all involved," decided against prosecution.

 

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19 hours ago, China said:

 

After the husband interrupted the tryst, he yelled, "I'm gonna kill him," and ran to the master bedroom for his handgun; 

 

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As I have said in the past...

Guns don't kill people. Husbands who come home early kill people....

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  • 2 weeks later...

Florida Man Says He Stole $7 Billion Because Jesus Wants Him To Be Wealthy

 

Authorities arrested John Michael Haskew, of Lakeland, in mid-December after he allegedly set up the wire transfers on Dec. 9 and 10 from what the criminal complaint described as “a large, nationally renowned financial institution.”

 

Haskew, who was unemployed, needed to pay off a debt to the federal government, prosecutors said.

 

His alleged scheme was to provide a bank routing number that wasn’t his, according to NBC Miami.

 

Haskew used that routing number to make more than 70 transactions worth more than $7 billion.

 

According to the complaint, Haskew told agents he was “self-taught on the banking industry,” including how to make the fraudulent wire transfers.

 

Haskew allegedly told investigators that he believed he deserved the money, stating that Jesus Christ created wealth for everyone,” according to WFTV.com.

 

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