The painful responsibility of dog ownership...knowing when its time to let go

[ljs]

I don't get on here much these days, but maybe a few of you remember me. I'm a former K9 officer, and have had my dog since we both retired 8 years ago. My dog is 2 weeks from his 14th bday, and I have finally had to make the decision, its time to let him go. It's heart wrenching, a multitude of emotions. I know many of you have posted RIP's for you beloved canine pals, so you get it.

Elmo doesn't have cancer, no other terminal illness. His organs are just fine. His problem- arthritis. Its crazy to think that arthritis would be the reason to euthanize your dog. However, his has progressed so bad over the last couple of years, that for a year he can't go up or down stairs on his own, he started pooping in his sleep randmonly over the last 6 months, because he can't tell when he has to go. In the last 3 months I've had to hold him while he does poo, so he doesnt' fall over. In the last 2 days, he hasn't been able to pee without me holding him up (I have a back leg harness). And although he is alert when awake, likes to eat and gets playful (barks like crazy while I'm cheering for the Redskins. But In the last 6 months Elmo has gone from being able to walk down the block to walking only a few feet, and now can't even stand on his own for more than 5-10 seconds.

Determining your dogs quality of life has to be answered on a case by case basis. To the people who have encouraged me to put him down sooner, I've said, "If I was in a wheel chair would you put me down?" I think I've realized that is no longer a valid comparison. I know the pain of his joints has to be hurting, I can see in his eyes he is tired. I know his quality of life consists of food, me petting him and sleeping all day. He has lost so much weight from not being able to exercise.

I've really struggled with -Why do I have to be the one to make that decision? Isn't it up to God when its our time? I don't want to play God, I don't want to be the one to make this decision. What if I'm doing this too soon? Is there more than can be done?

Last night the selfishness subsided and it hit me. God put this in my hands. He trusts me, Elmo trusts me- We as pet owner are entrusted to know when its time. Of all the responsibilities we have as pet owners, deciding when to let go is the most difficult, but is also the most important.

My gf works for the county Animal control- so her co worker and boss have offered to euthanize Elmo at home for no cost. We are doing this tomorrow evening. Its the best scenario I could ask for, peaceful falling asleep at home, in my arms. It's playing out to be the last scene from Marley and Me that made everyone cry.

I took today and tomorrow off work, to spend some time with the old guy. Although I'm sitting here watching tv and playing on the computer while he is fast asleep. It's the most surreal feeling to know in just over 24 hours, I won't be able to see him again, play "bad guy" ever again,

And not trying to say that a working dog is closer to their owner than a household pet, but my mom put it this way, she said I have a closer relationship to this dog than any person in my life, probably including her. I've had some pretty rough times since leaving law enforcement 8 years ago, and I know without a doubt, this dog kept me going. Elmo always did what I asked, selflessly put himself in harms way to save my life and those around me. Even when I first got him, guys w 20 yrs of police K9 experience said this dog had something special. Everyone who ever met Elmo just fell in love. I could take him to an elementary school one minute, and then ask him to chase down a bad guy. He had the perfect personality, a total momma's boy, but also a fierce defender. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect dog.

So RIP my friend. I'm forever thankful God chose me to be your human.

this pic is from May 2002

He's not just a dog, he's a cop...and he's not just any cop, he's my partner.

[tone_dubbz]

Sorry to hear about your friend. I know its tough letting go.

People don't understand how close the bond is between man and pet. You guys were also co-workers, so I know there is a special relationship between yall two.

I can't even fathom the day I have to say good bye to my dog. I always imagine her growing up with my daughter and being really protective of her.

Anyway, prayers to you and Elmo. God speed.

[lovetoaster]

Hey ljs, I was actually thinking about you a few days ago. So sorry to hear about your dog, it is really such a difficult situation. I had a friend that was in a similar situation a few years ago. I believe her dog was almost 15 and was essentially going through the same thing. It's so hard and just heartbreaking, but you are making the right decision.

I feel dumb saying this, but other than this situation, I hope you are well.

[Boots]

Yeah, I feel you. Putting my dog down, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. he used to climb the stairs every night and sleep in the bedroom with my wife and I. Then, one night, he just couldn't do it anymore. Listening to him bark in pain and knowing he probably wanted to be with us, was heartbreaking. I spent the rest of his last night, sleeping on his doggie bed with him. the next morning was it. As hard as it was to hold him as the injection was given, watching him in pain was worse. i told myself I would never get that attached to an animal again, but here I am 6 years later with another that is my best friend.

So sorry for your loss.

[ljs]

Hey lovetoaster! I miss being on here, although I do pop on now and again to read stuff. I wonder what made you think of me? lol but thanks for the well wishes, hope you are well also.

[#98QBKiller]

Damn ljs, that was a tough read.

You're making the right decision, although I know it's a tough one. At some point most dog owners have to make that decision and decide to put a stop to the hurting for our best little friends in the world, although that decision hurts us very much inside. I went through this with my golden retriever of 12 years back in 2004 (a dog that I had grown up with) and it was a terrible feeling. You just have to take comfort in the fact that you are doing the right thing and taking the pain away, and you will remember all of the good times with Elmo and not these rough times because you've decided not to drag them on longer than they need to be dragged on for. Good luck to you and just remember how lucky you've been to have had such a good dog to spend these years with. I have another golden now who's 4 years old and these are the days that I dread and try not to think of. Although whenever I read a story about another dog owner going through this it makes me go home and show my dog even more love than I normally do.

[Skinz4Life12]

man, i nearly teared up reading that at work. i love dogs, especially german shepherds. they are great animals. i wish I could have met Elmo and pet him. seems like a great dog. i don't want to say RIP just yet.

i remember when I was about 13 or 14 we had to put down our black lab who was only 5 years old because he was dying from lymes disease. we tried to do everything to save him, but it had attacked his kidneys and he was going into renal failure. i remember the "blue juice" and him looking me in the eyes as he faded away in my arms. it was one of the saddest moments of my life

[lovetoaster]

Hey lovetoaster! I miss being on here, although I do pop on now and again to read stuff. I wonder what made you think of me? lol but thanks for the well wishes, hope you are well also.

Honestly I don't know what made me think of you. I think I just saw someone's screen name and it reminded me of you. And I started thinking "man, I have not seen her around in a while." Anyways, good to hear from you, although it is obviously not under the greatest of circumstances.

[twa]

Sorry to hear it, but I know you are doing what is best for him rather than yourself

good to see you posting again(even under the circumstances)

[The 12th Commandment]

Wonderful job expressing yourself there really showed the depth of your feelings for Elmo. Thanks for sharing it, made me tear up a little. Sorry the time had to come.

[No_Pressure]

Death is an interesting thing. Each person or creature which is extremely close to you makes an impact on your life which nothing else can ever duplicate in the same way. You can't replace a spouse, parent, brother, sister, or in this case you can't replace a great dog.

For those remaining in the wake of a loved one lost however are new opportunities. It is not a matter of replacing something or forcefully filling a void as it is moving on to a new experience and a new relationship which will bring its own unique rewards. While we don't go out and buy a new mother or father when they pass away, we can become closer to other people we know as a result and develop new relationships we never thought possible. This does not betray the memory of those who are no longer with us, but rather runs on a parallel course to the fantastic relationships we had, and which enrich our lives.

When I lost my cat which we had since I was 4 and who was 19 years old, I was sad for the loss of a great friend for some time, but eventually excited at the opportunity of having a new one. I always felt that it would be more appropriate to celebrate the relationships built and experiences experienced, rather than mourn the fact that they had come to an end. That doesn't mean you can't feel sad for the deterioration and suffering of a great friend or close relative, but our life is a collection of experiences and in times like this, it's best to remember the joyous ones with reverence and a smile, since it does justice to the one you've lost. No dog, no parent, no great friend or loved one should ever wish that those who they left behind should mourn them, but rather fondly and happily remember their time together.

Your dog lived to 14 and obviously led quite the fantastic life by your side. Still, in the later years of an animal, quality of life is a major consideration since unlike human beings, the lack of mobility for many animals is akin to isolation and imprisonment in their own bodies since in many ways they lack the ability to share and express themselves in non physical terms.

Regardless, 14 years is quite a good, long lifespan for a German shepherd. He lived a full life full of work, fun, excitement and happiness. Being a prisoner of his own body is, in spite of most dog's unwaveringly upbeat and loving spirit, misery. You're doing the right thing.

When the time is right, find a new companion and begin the adventure again. It isn't replacing the old, it's just a new friend which will enrich your life. I love shepherds, I miss my dog terribly, but such is life. You and I will be there one day also, feel better and enjoy yourself while you can. Savor the moments to come.

[Jumbo]

I think of ya every now and then ljs, and while I liked seeing your name here, I am sorry it is under such sad circumstance.

Our non-human friends can be every bit as meaningful in our lives as our human ones.

[bcl05]

The one-year anniversary is coming up of when we had to put down our sweet greater swiss mountain dog under very similar circumstances. Your post was beautiful and made me tear up a bit remembering our dog. It sure sounds like you're doing the right thing for the right reasons.

[Maxito]

I'm sorry to hear about the news. While reading your post it made me think about my dog that my family had to put down two years ago for the same reasons. My condolences!

[ljs]

thanks guys.(sorry I made a few of you tear up)

I had a pit bull for 12 years that I had to put down 2 years ago. The interesting part there, is that she had a tumor, that had been diagnosed 6 months before I had to put her down,. It was in a weird spot, not on any organ, so you wouldn't have known had I not decided to do a check up w x-rays. She went blind overnight, and I could tell she just wasn't right, all of a sudden. Vet said tumor had hit her spine, and that any day she could have a seizure and die. So the next day I drove her down to the town I grew up in, at my home vet- then buried her at my moms. (who has a mini farm along w a pet cemetery including horses, lol)

I just can't fathom being without Elmo so much that for the last couple years I've researched and seriously considered freeze dry preservation. Similar but different than taxidermy. Its around $2000 for his size. I was really struggling with the cremation thing. Just in the last month I finally came to a conclusion- I have issues. :-) but seriously, I think that would not have been the best thing to do, even if I could afford it. I'm going to save a little chunk of his tail hair, and put it with his ashes in my display that has all our old cop memorabilia.

Even after police days, we went everywhere together. I went back to college, and he would hang out in my 4 Runner while I was in classs, My previous job he would come with me pretty much every day. Elmo rather be in the car, protecting me, than at home alone. My friends were always welcoming of him, even house parties. He would just lay where I told him and hang out. (As long as he could see me.) Took him on a ton of camping trips. and he was always friendly with other dogs, loved kids. I can't really think of a family member or friend who doesn't know him. For the last 11 years, if you saw me, you saw Elmo.

[hockeysc23]

Sorry to hear ljs. I definite had to pause reading it to not choke up, and was thinking of my Calli dog the whole time. I have never had to make that difficult decision for any of my pets, and cannot imagine how difficult the journey to the decision must've been.

Take some last pics of her as is and how he was. Reflect and remember him often. Thoughts and prayers with you and him during this sad time. I'm glad you at least get a chance to spend the last moments with him. It probably means the world to him.

[Birdlives]

My most sincere sympathies. I am actually approaching the same point with my shepherd as we speak. Casey is only 10 but has developed degenerative mylopathy. She can still get around okay, but my wife and I know it's now only a matter of time before her quality of life forces us to make a decision. She was always a very active dog and loved to fetch tennis balls. As it is, she's now retired from fetching though she still has the desire. It's an extremely difficult thing to go through. As someone not looking forward to the same point, I definitely feel for you. Thanks for sharing.

[GoSkins0721]

When we had to make the same decision, it took my wife months to get over the fact that "maybe he didn't want to go...maybe he was happy laying in his own poop while we held his head up to feed him." But after 18 years he had lost that twinkle in his eye. And I think it became more about us not wanting him to leave us instead of what was best for him.

It sounds like you have made the best decision you can.

Peace & prayers go out to you during the coming days.

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

Dog person here, my job is with dogs, and have had border collies running around since I was 7 years old. The last of the border collies is now 11 years old, she has really bad arthritis in the hips. Having to put down my border collies through the years has been ridiculous, they are too smart to just vanish after such a short time. 'Til the day they passed, they were sharp as tacks.

With this 11 year old border collie, less than 5 years ago I was throwing toys as far as I could to her. Her favorite thing to do was swim. If she saw a pond or a creek she'd gravitate to it, she could swim after toys until I'd get tired. Nowadays, we're limited to throwing soft toys directly to her so she doesn't run at all. She still has that same ole spirit.

Good luck with recovering, it seems like it'll never go away, but in a few days, the pain will naturally turn in to appreciation.

[THEREALTOR1]

So sorry to hear this Lori. As a lifelong dog owner and lover I guess we all know that at some point your pals will leave you. I try not to think about it as I come home to my "monkey" and "bear" every night, that someday that day will come. Just thinking about the last dog I had to put down still makes me tear up to this day and that was over 10 years ago (RIP "Yankee-Dog"). Fortunately I had a friend who was a vet and we were fortunate enough to have him come to the house and let him live out his last moments in the home where he was loved much like you're doing. I really don't know what else I can say that hasn't been said I'm sorry for your loss and You and your Elmo are in my thoughts and prayers.

[maxiumone]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you. It is one of the hardest things you have to decide. When my first dog passed away my mom sent me this and since then I post this when ever I see someone has lost a special friend

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

Here is to a great partner that you served your community with and made this world a little safer. And here is to a great friend that will always be a part of you. Elmo thank you.

[GhostofSparta]

I had to put down my lab that I'd had for 14 years when I was in college. I got him when I was 7, so yeah, it was hard. But he was in the same situation. He wasn't "sick" really, but he had bad arthritis, couldn't get up from they floor on his own without 15 seconds and lots of whining. Plus he's lost a lot of weight, and couldn't fully control his bowels/bladder anymore. I knew it was time. Hard decision, hard to follow through with, but it was for the best.

About a year later I got my current dog. He's a Belgian Malinois, and looks just like the one in your photo. He's only 6, but reading your story with the photo you posted...suddenly some dust got in the room and I had to clear my eyes...

[Mursilis]

Sorry for your loss. We have two dogs, so I think I understand, at least a little bit. At least you're sending him off with a beautiful tribute to your time together. Your story really moved me.

[Koolblue13]

I'm so sorry for you. I can't imagine your loss.

I hear you about the issues, when my mama bear goes, I'm going to have her ashes put in some tattoo ink.

[btfoom]

Man, just reading the title of this thread brought tears to my eyes.

I read (most) of your post, but it got too painful for me. I had an almost exact situation with my golden 6 years ago. She had lymes disease early in her life, but we got it treated and thought everything was great. A couple of years later, she started showing signs of chronic arthritis. Went through the same things you talked about. Finally, the weekend before Christmas I took my 13 year old son to a hockey tournament in Pittsburgh and Casey just stopped moving, period. My father-in-law took her in and had her put to sleep. Killed me that weekend as I kept it from my son until we returned home.

I don't think there can be any comparison about how close people become with their animals. I still cry when I think about her.

I write this because I can promise you that it does get better. Keep Elmo in your heart and remember the good times. Eventually, you will find room to have another dog, not to take Elmo's place, but to start another chapter in your life. I have Ovie now, and he's a great, great dog. I will make sure to hug him today when I go home.