Jumbo

Random Funny ARTICLES Not Worth Their Own Thread

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I kept thinking we need a place to stick stuff like this (there's so many I see) but that don't really fit anywhere else (they're not all China turf) and aren't worth a new thread for every one that comes along. :)

"Two and a Half Men" star finds religion, calls TV show "filth"

http://news.yahoo.com/two-half-men-star-finds-religion-calls-tv-213606045--finance.html

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actor Angus T. Jones, star of CBS's raunchy television comedy "Two and a Half Men", has urged viewers to change the channel, saying his new-found religious beliefs are at odds with his job playing a fun-loving teen on the popular show.

Jones, 19, who has played Jake Harper - the son of Jon Cryer's character Alan - for nine years, appealed to fans to stop watching the show "and filling your head with filth."

In a YouTube video made for the California-based Forerunner Christian Church, Jones said his recent Bible studies made him uncomfortable with the risque humor that marks one of the most-watched comedies on U.S. television.

"If you watch 'Two and a Half Men', please stop watching 'Two and a Half Men," Jones says in the video. "I'm on 'Two and a Half Men' and I don't want to be on it."

more <incl. video> at link

Edited by Jumbo

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Well... I have a feeling he's not going to be on the show for very much longer.

This is probably the last year for the show. Their fate was sealed when they changed nights.

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I heard about this one and all I could think was "I'll bet he doesn't have a problem with cashing his checks."

Nice thread idea. Lots of times I see something funny or odd in the news but just don't think it's worthy of a new thread. I hope it gets used.

---------- Post added November-27th-2012 at 04:07 AM ----------

I heard about this one and all I could think was "I'll bet he doesn't have a problem with cashing his checks."

Nice thread idea. Lots of times I see something funny or odd in the news but just don't think it's worthy of a new thread. I hope it gets used.

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Sweet Jesus (ironic use of the phrase if there ever was one), he thinks network comedy is bad? That's pretty much the safest stuff out there.

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I kept thinking we need a place to stick stuff like this (there's so many I see) but that don't really fit anywhere else (they're not all China turf) and aren't worth a new thread for every one that comes along. :)

"Two and a Half Men" star finds religion, calls TV show "filth"

http://news.yahoo.com/two-half-men-star-finds-religion-calls-tv-213606045--finance.html

more <incl. video> at link

Now I have a place to post all those stories that don't fit elsewhere yet don't seem worthy of their own thread. I saw the story you posted earlier. Kirk Cameron now has a buddy to invite to his birthday party.

kirk-cameron-birthday.jpg

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Lawdy, my mother-in-law tried to get my brother-in-law and I to stop watching The Walking Dead over Thanksgiving, because it wasn't a "good" show (read: moral). And that's why you pointlessly have Dish to pay for your $26/month cable bill so you can watch NOTHING but the Hallmark channel. Fat chance. My cable bill is around $60 just so I can watch TWD.

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http://houston.cbslocal.com/2012/11/26/study-porn-actresses-more-religious-have-higher-self-esteem-than-other-women/

Study: Porn Stars More Religious, Have Higher Self-Esteem Than Other Women

In terms of psychological characteristics, porn actresses had higher levels of self-esteem, positive feelings, social support, sexual satisfaction, and spirituality compared to the matched group,” the study titled “Pornography Actresses: An Assessment of the Damaged Goods Hypothesis” concluded.

The study compared 177 porn actresses to a sample of women based on age, race and marital status.

According to the Toronto Sun, researchers shot down the ideas that women who work in porn came from broken families or hostile backgrounds.

The study also found that women working in porn tried more drugs, had their first sexual experience at a younger age and had more sexual partners than those in the sample group.

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A Belgian is seeking to have his marriage annulled after discovering that his Indonesian wife of 19 years had been born a man.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/belgium/9703166/Belgian-discovers-his-wife-used-to-be-a-man-after-19-years.html

The man, only named as Jan, married Monica, his family's former au pair in a previous marriage, in 1993 despite legal difficulties raised by the Belgian immigration authorities.

But it was only in recent weeks that he discovered that his wife had originally been a man and had undergone a sex change.

"I feel I've been assaulted," he told the Het Nieuwsblad newspaper.

"I brought her to Belgium. That was not easy. The Belgian courts had serious doubts about the authenticity of her birth and her identity papers, but eventually they accepted it anyway. I thought she was an attractive woman, all woman. She had no male traits."

Jan, 64, said that he and his wife had decided not to have children because he had two by his previous marriage and she fooled him by pretending to menstruate, using sanitary towels, "to conceal the truth".

"Even during sex, I never noticed anything," he said.

For many years the couple lived a normal family life and Monica, 48, was like a "big sister" to his children until their marriage started to come under strain when she got a new full-time job.

"Monica began to change very much," he said.

"My oldest son saw her sometimes at a nightclub. She began to wear very flashy clothes, those ultra-short skirts or tiny tops, so her abdomen was completely exposed."

Finally rumours began to surface and after Jan found "amorous messages" from other men on her computer, he confronted her in a violent row that led to the police being called.

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Just your average domestic dispute:

Cops: Missing Sex Toy Triggered Domestic Assault

Woman said galpal livid over misplaced latex penis

NOVEMBER 26--A Thanksgiving Day argument over a misplaced sex toy escalated into the ironing board assault of a South Carolina woman by her girlfriend, cops report.

According to a police report, officers Thursday afternoon went to the Rock Hill apartment shared by Arteesha Donaldson, 24, and Latoya Hudson, 28, in response to a domestic dispute report.

Hudson told cops that Donaldson “began looking for her detachable latex penis” and became upset at her when she could not find the item. “Hudson states the two argued for several minutes, when Donaldson threw an ironing board at Hudson,” police reported.

...

The Rock Hill Police Department report offers no further information on the whereabouts of Donaldson’s detachable latex penis.

Click on the link for the full article

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:ols:

Onion: We just fooled the Chinese government!

(CNN) -- China, as one Twitter user wrote Tuesday, has been fooled by the "mysterious Western art of satire."

The merciless comedy website The Onion has declared North Korean leader Kim Jong Un the "sexiest man alive for 2012." And it appears China's People's Daily Online has taken the story seriously.

"I love this one," Onion editor Will Tracy told CNN. "It has a certain delightfulness to it."

The Chinese story reprinted satirical comments describing Kim's "air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side," his "impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and," the story says, "that famous smile."\

The story on People's Daily Online on Tuesday illustrates the mutual backscratching that China and North Korea exercise through their government-run media. The incident also shows foreign media outlets' difficulty in navigating The Onion's brand of satire.

The Chinese website had underscored its story by including its own 55-page photo gallery to accompany the text, which was published in both English and Chinese. But the pages and the images were no longer available Wednesday.

A woman responding to a call Wednesday to the office of the website said it was "impossible that the People's Daily will quote from any unreliable media -- we do verify our news and sources."

The woman, who declined to identify herself, noted that the item had been removed.

The People's Daily Online has a separate office from the print version of the Chinese Communist Party's main newspaper.

Tracy said he's not surprised when legitimate news sites fall for his high-level tomfoolery, but this was the first time The Onion had named a "sexiest man alive." "We knew it would get a response," he said "but we didn't expect it would get life from abroad."

A satirical post on The Onion congratulated the People's Daily for its coverage.

The site "has served as one of the Onion's Far East bureaus for quite some time, and I believe their reportage as of late has been uncommonly fine, as well as politically astute," said The Onion's Grant Jones in a e-mail statement. "May our felicitous business association continue for centuries to come."

Earlier Tuesday, The Onion pointed readers to the Chinese website: "please visit our friends at the People's Daily in China, a proud Communist subsidiary of The Onion, Inc. Exemplary reportage, comrades."

Read the Chinese story

Twitter users went wild over the editorial faux pas. "It makes me cry from another room!" Tweeted Francesca Ulivi @fraubass.

"Not sure they know this was a joke," wrote @loweringthebar.

"Curse of the #Onion again," said Colin Freeman @colinfreeman99.

Yes. Again. If this scenario sounds familiar it's because The Onion is no stranger to fooling government-run news outlets.

In September, an Onion satire fooled Iran's semi-official Fars News Agency. Fars published an Onion story claiming that a Gallup poll found that rural white Americans preferred Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over President Barack Obama.

On the Chinese microblog Sina Weibo, netizens made their own teasing comments about People's Daily.

"Foolish foreigners, the party paper was born to be funny," wrote @sheldon-BaiBai.

"The world was fooled by the People's Daily, because no Chinese believes this paper," wrote @Hai_Dao_Wu_Bian.

The Onion never writes its stories with the intention of fooling government agencies, Tracy said. But "it's great when it happens. We hope it happens more often."

This prank, he said with obvious glee, may turn out to be the legendary Onion fake story that veterans will talk about for years to come. "We essentially just fooled the government of China."

Edited by HogNose

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The Oregon dad who used his scantily clad daughter to sell his Datsun

The old adage "sex sells" gets a strange, uncomfortable twist

When an Oregon man wanted to sell his 1977 Datsun on eBay, he tapped into his inner sleazy used-car salesman and procured a sexy young woman to help make his old vehicle look hot. The problem? That scantily clad woman is his 20-year-old daughter, Lexxa. On his eBay listing, Kim Ridley showcases his daughter in a myriad of provocative positions around the banana-yellow car. In one shot, the vehicle is viewed through Lexxa's bare legs. In another, the tattooed girl is draped over the hood, revealing her cleavage, bra, and come-hither stare. In yet another, Lexxa leans against the trunk of the car, throwing her butt and her smirk toward the camera.

lexxa-ridley-leans-suggestively-into-the-hood-of-her-fathers-datsun-in-a-photo-used-to-sell-the.jpg?156

CreepyCar3.jpg

$T2eC16FHJIQE9qUHrjIIBQn(0B!F-!~~60_12.JPG

Click on the link above and the eBay listing for more.

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NYU student replies-all to 40,000 classmates, sparking ‘Replyallcalypse’

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/replyallcalypse-nyu-email-141306209.html

Max Wiseltier, a sophomore at New York University, was simply trying to forward an email from the Bursar's Office to his mother on Monday. Instead, Wiseltier accidentally hit "reply to all," cc'ing 39,979 of his fellow NYU students in the process.

Wiseltier, realizing what he had done, fired off a quick apology. But his email "triggered a rare, University-wide revelation," Kelly Weill wrote in NYU Local, the student newspaper. "We simultaneously realized that any message, complaint, whim, link, video, or GIF could be sent to nearly 40,000 people in an instant."

And thousands of students did.

"So, how is everyone today?" wrote one.

"Does anyone have a pencil I could borrow?" wrote another.

"Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses, or 1 horse sized duck?" another asked.

A visually inclined student simply attached a photo of Nicolas Cage, which 40,000 students now share and can enjoy whenever they want.

nic-cage-sm.jpg

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NYU student replies-all to 40,000 classmates, sparking ‘Replyallcalypse’

that is amazing ... i can only imagine the perfect feeling of dread that person felt when they first realized what they did.

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On the China Onion article, will heads roll or will it played off as one of those times where humor got it right? From afar, maybe this can played like, "John Stewart is seen as funny because he is saying what many think. This is the same, right?"...um...no.

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So, he names his daughter "Lexxa" and posts scantily clad pictures of her on the internet? What a dad.

The last pic of her posted, in particular, should generate some concern in the extended family. ;)

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So, he names his daughter "Lexxa" and posts scantily clad pictures of her on the internet? What a dad.

More like What? A dad? With a name like Lexxa, her tats, and her dad having her pose like that, I'd say she's well on her way if her career goal is stripper.

---------- Post added November-28th-2012 at 02:42 PM ----------

Why the Fate of Humanity Rests on a Chinese Middle-Schooler's Test Scores

Taking the "butterfly effect" to its logical conclusion

SixthGradeEssay-250.jpg

"Time passes very quickly. It's midterm season soon, I already began nervously preparing for the test, I must begin working harder, because if I don't work hard and review well, then my grades will not go up, and I will be scolded by my parents, and if I get scolded by my parents then I will lose self-confidence, if I lose self-confidence then I will not finish my studies, if I do not finish my studies then I will not graduate [from university], if I can't graduate from university then I will not find a good job, if I don't find a good job then I won't be able to make money, if I don't make money then I can't pay taxes, if I don't pay taxes then it will be difficult for the country to pay salary to teachers, if teachers can't get paid then they will not be dedicated to teaching, if they are not dedicated to teaching, then this will impact our nation's future, if our nation's future is impacted, then it will be difficult for China to advance and develop, and the Chinese people will degenerate into a barbaric race. If the Chinese people degenerate into a barbaric race, then the USA will begin to suspect that our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, if our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, then the USA will start a war with China and World War III will erupt, if WWIII erupts, both the strengths of both the USA and China will not be enough, if their strengths are not enough then they will use nuclear weapons, if they use nuclear weapons then they will destroy the environment, if the environment is destroyed then this will create a big hole in the atmosphere, if there is a big hole in the atmosphere then global warming will escalate and the glaciers at both poles will melt, if the glaciers melt then the global water level will rise, if the global water level rises then the entire human race will drown and die. Because it relates to the survival and security of the entire human race, therefore I must spend the remaining next few days on review in order to do well on the test, and thus prevent a tragedy from happening."

Click on the link for the full story

Edited by China

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A Florida woman viciously attacked a man after their first date because he wouldn't call himself her boyfriend, according to authorities.

Thirty-five-year-old Jillian Leigh Martone of Delray Beach allegedly punched her date in the face, threatened him with a kitchen knife and smashed his apartment window with a pair of rocks, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported.

The alleged victim, 39-year-old Efren Molina, told police that he met Martone for the first time last week and they arranged to go on a date.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2238652/Woman-attacks-man-kitchen-knife-date-refusing-boyfriend.html#ixzz2DYNejMCp

Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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Truth behind 'Datsun daughter' car ad

Ridley, a Eugene resident, confessed to KVAL News on Wednesday that the girl in the photos is not his daughter but a longtime friend.

He said the whole thing started out as a joke that maybe went a little too far: Ridley said he is getting calls from TV stations and newspapers across the country.

But the car sold: the top bidder offered $7,500 for the low-miles sports car.

Click on the link for the full article

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