NYT: What is it with 20-somethings?

[Skinz4Life12]

my situation is similar to mattfancy's.

24, stable job, own a place, own a car, steady relationship (not getting married next year though)

I understand the cultural thing, one of my friends just got his own place for the 1st time last year when he was 25 i think (he is Indian too). But i really do think too many kids and young adults are babied today to the point where it becomes detrimental.

Too many of my friends come from weatlhy families where they can live at home and have all expenses paid for (or in 1 friend's case, inheret 250k from a grandparent who died and have more on the way)

[adam@section118]

I want to pick my words carefully as to not offend, but I have a huge problem with all of the assuming going on in this thread. And I have been on both sides on this argument.

When I was 19 I was quick to move out, got a place in Sterling, and was going to school FT and working FT.

I was not able to save anything, and while I loved having my own place I knew that if I ever wanted to own a respectable place I would need to save for a while.

Then I broke up with my gf, then I moved down to Florida to finish up school.

I have come back now that I have gradauted, and I have a respectable salary, but at most I could afford a cardboard box with no windows.

Could I rent and move out? Sure. But I would rather safe and be able to be a respecable place and not have to pay off school loans and a mortgage for the rest of my life.

If you think this makes me less of a person then so be it? I think that is a hell of an assumption, and you do not know all the facts (for example I have one parent who has been overseas for the last 3 years so my folks love having me around to help out) but that is your right.

FWIW, I have had this new job for 6 weeks, and I have already paid off 40% of my student loans. Both my parents and I are extreemly happy about this.

EDIT: I remember a stat from one of my business communication classes last year. The number of students living at home after college for 2-5 years have more then trippled from 1997.

Instead of blaming "lazy, good no nothing, lacking price" young people how about we blame the crappy economy or this crazy housing market. Nah, no point in letting facts get in the way of a good story.

[adam@section118]

my situation is similar to mattfancy's.

24, stable job, own a place, own a car, steady relationship (not getting married next year though)

I understand the cultural thing, one of my friends just got his own place for the 1st time last year when he was 25 i think (he is Indian too). But i really do think too many kids and young adults are babied today to the point where it becomes detrimental.

Too many of my friends come from weatlhy families where they can live at home and have all expenses paid for (or in 1 friend's case, inheret 250k from a grandparent who died and have more on the way)

This is understandable.

Even in there case though, if the parents apprecaite having the extra help, then I say who is it hurting.

There have been days that I come home and it drives me nuts to live with my parent(s). But I know that they appreaciate having me around, even if we do have our issues.

[jthor99]

Is there really any right or wrong way to enter adulthood? Or to live life?

I realize your "supposed" to be married, have a stable job, and start becoming on your own in your mid-20's, but to me that's not realistic in every situation.

Situations arise when parents are forcing kids out at 18, and others just want to leave as soon as they turn 18 and create their own lives. And the other side of that coin is others (as this article indicates) who like to stay into there late 20's. I don't think either way is right or wrong.

[Rocky21]

Instead of blaming "lazy, good no nothing, lacking price" young people how about we blame the crappy economy or this crazy housing market. Nah, no point in letting facts get in the way of a good story.

I don't see a lot of people in this thread calling 20 somethings lazy or good for nothings.

[heyholetsgogrant]

I want to pick my words carefully as to not offend, but I have a huge problem with all of the assuming going on in this thread. And I have been on both sides on this argument.

When I was 19 I was quick to move out, got a place in Sterling, and was going to school FT and working FT.

I was not able to save anything, and while I loved having my own place I knew that if I ever wanted to own a respectable place I would need to save for a while.

Then I broke up with my gf, then I moved down to Florida to finish up school.

I have come back now that I have gradauted, and I have a respectable salary, but at most I could afford a cardboard box with no windows.

Could I rent and move out? Sure. But I would rather safe and be able to be a respecable place and not have to pay off school loans and a mortgage for the rest of my life.

If you think this makes me less of a person then so be it? I think that is a hell of an assumption, and you do not know all the facts (for example I have one parent who has been overseas for the last 3 years so my folks love having me around to help out) but that is your right.

FWIW, I have had this new job for 6 weeks, and I have already paid off 40% of my student loans. Both my parents and I are extreemly happy about this.

EDIT: I remember a stat from one of my business communication classes last year. The number of students living at home after college for 2-5 years have more then trippled from 1997.

Instead of blaming "lazy, good no nothing, lacking price" young people how about we blame the crappy economy or this crazy housing market. Nah, no point in letting facts get in the way of a good story.

We should also blame the Baby Boomers for royally screwing our generation to no end. There is a reason why housing is so expensive...

[McD5]

"Hey baby, do you want to come over to my Mom's house for dinner Friday night? It will be great."

[adam@section118]

Is there really any right or wrong way to enter adulthood? Or to live life?

I realize your "supposed" to be married, have a stable job, and start becoming on your own in your mid-20's, but to me that's not realistic in every situation.

Situations arise when parents are forcing kids out at 18, and others just want to leave as soon as they turn 18 and create their own lives. And the other side of that coin is others (as this article indicates) who like to stay into there late 20's. I don't think either way is right or wrong.

Exactly.

I have no interest in being married for quite some time. If I meet the right person then I am cool with it, but I want to make sure I can afford to be in a healthy and successful relationship, and I also want to make sure I get married for the right reason. (not just to be married, or so I do not have to travel with my parents, honest to god 2 reasons 2 of my female friends have gotten married at 19 and 22 respectivly)

I don't see a lot of people in this thread calling 20 somethings lazy or good for nothings.

I was exaggerating.

[Skinz4Life12]

honestly, i would generally say if you are still living at home after 22-23 then something is wrong or you have a unique situation that you absolutely CAN'T move out as opposed to not really wanting to move out

[adam@section118]

"Hey baby, do you want to come over to my Mom's house for dinner Friday night? It will be great."

Or we could go out for a nice dinner.....

Of course, my significant other is in Florida, so I do not have to worry about that problem.

honestly, i would generally say if you are still living at home after 22-23 then something is wrong or you have a unique situation that you absolutely CAN'T move out as opposed to not really wanting to move out

I (and the stat) I posted would disagree, but I digress

[Destino]

meh... I'm Hispanic and these rules don't seem to apply. You leave when you have reason to leave. Job in another town, moving in with a girlfriend, etc etc. This move out because you're 18 or whatever stuff doesn't exist in the culture in which I was raised and I can't say I'd want it to.

[MintHillSkinsFan]

I'm hearing a lot of excuses. I didn't make a ton of money when I dropped out of college but there was NO WAY I was going to crawl back to my parents. I picked myself up by my bootstraps, got a job, sometimes 2, and got a place to live. That's just what you do.

Same thing when I was laid off a few years ago. I'm in the telecom business but I had to go work construction for a year while I was searching for a new job in my industry. You can always find a job. But nobody nobody has that "do whatever it takes" mentality these days. It's too easy to feel sorry for yourself and blame it on the economy or whatever.

Sorry for the rant but people need to grow up and take some pride in themselves.

[afkidd]

moved out when I was 19 and never looked back.

then again, i am in the military so it would be hard to commute from my parents home.

[Sticksboi05]

I will be 20 very shortly but I'm going to NU strictly so I will have a good job right out of college. Best internship/career services in the nation bar none.

[endzone_dave]

I imagine much of it is economics. College is outrageously expensive. Housing in some cities is outrageously expensive and I'm sure getting a decent right out of college is pretty tough.

If my kids grow up having a tough time getting a decent paying job, I wouldn't have a problem with them living in my house until they got on their feet. If they are making a decent salary then I don't see any reason for them to live with me.

[DarrellsMyHero28]

If I could find a legitimate job I would be packed and out of this house by the next day.

The economy is horrible, and it sucks to be a recent college grad.

Living at home is miserable, but there's nothing else I can do at the moment.

[No Excuses]

So many generalizations being thrown around in this thread. Some times situations just don't allow people to move out after 18 or 20 or sometimes even after college.

I have friends from high school who are doing nothing right now. They are 20-21, live at home, work part time jobs at stores, don't bother with school and just party all the time. Those people, I consider losers who need to grow a pair and do something with their lives. If I was doing the same, my parents would have kicked me out of the house long ago. But I really don't see a problem with someone (ages 22-26) who has a well paying job but lives with his parents to save up some money. Maybe it's just the culture that I come from but we don't look at depending on parents for help (or parents depending on kids for help) as embarrassing.

For myself, I moved out at 18. Went to VCU for the last two years and decided to apply at George Washington and move back in the DC area. I came back with the intention of living on my own but if I had not had the support of my parents in case I didn't find an affordable place to live, I would have never done it. I already have a decent paying job within my biology related field and I should be making a good amount of money after I graduate and even while I'm attending grad school. I enjoy living on my own too much to ever move back with my parents but it's nice knowing that I have my parents support if I ever need it. Good thing some of you in this thread didn't end up as my parents.

[mjah]

"She lives with Me!"

[Heisenberg]

I lived with my parents from age 22-24 after I graduated college.

Moved out and got an apartment for a year and then closed on my first home in May. I'm not sure I would have ever been able to afford a house in this area if not for those 2 years at home.

[maxiumone]

I moved out of my parents house when I was 19. Got my own place and my girlfriend moved in with me (now my wife). We lived in our on place till I was 21 when my whole family including my wife and I moved to another town for work. We briefly moved in with the parents while locating a place in our new town.

I went into business for myself at 26 and it did not work out at 28 I had to sell everything I owned to pay off the debt I ran up. I had to swallow my pride and move back in with my parents. Was one of the hardest things I have ever done but when you have a newborn you will do anything to make sure they have a roof over their head. We paid rent and I worked my ass off to save up enough money to buy a new place. It took 8 months and we have never looked back.

The point is there are sometimes that people need to do this. And thank god I had a great family that supported me.

But I also see a lot of 20 somethings that just want to freeload and that does bother me. Unfortunately it is more then just the 20 somethings more and more people want a free ride it seems

[heytred]

I'm kind of in this same boat... I moved out of the house at 17 and went off to College, then less than two years later withdrew from school to join the Military. Now I'm 21 years old, haven't been home at all in almost 2 years and next Spring I'm moving back in with my parents and finishing my degree to commission.

Sure, it's not ideal, and I'm sure I could live on campus or get an apartment downtown, or like my parents suggested, I could use this "transitioning phase" to save money and get ahead. Plus, I'm sure they'd like to make up for these last two years.

[GhostofSparta]

I grew up in Maryland, where my parents still live. I decided to go away for college, so I went to a private college in Arkansas. For 9 months out of the year, I lived away from home and paid for my own food, anything I wanted to do, whatever. When I graduated, I was 22. I spent 1 month at home after college before moving away. And I mean, AWAY. My parents live in Mechanicsville, MD and I moved 6 hours away to a small town north of Pittsburgh. I rented for a year, and have owned a house for 1 1/2 years. Maybe it's because I'm not as close to my family as some people are, but I knew when I was 16 and looking at colleges that I did not want to be one of those 20-something kids that still lives at home with mommy and daddy after college. I don't regret the decision at all. I can't imagine how some people can like still living in mommy's basement until they're 30+ (aside from cultural differences, as I'm a middle class white boy).

[Beans]

We should also blame the Baby Boomers for royally screwing our generation to no end. There is a reason why housing is so expensive...

Boomers, the worst generation...

[BRAVEONAWARPATH]

Personally, I don't see the big deal about a 20-something person living at home with the parents.

Provided of course that you're not just laying on your butt and not being productive. :2cents:

I lived with my father for my last 3 years of college and a year after I graduated.

And I didn't feel like I had "no pride" or couldn't take care of myself. :doh:

[skinfan2k]

1/3 of Gen Y live at home.