MattFancy Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss Click the link for full article This question pops up everywhere, underlying concerns about “failure to launch” and “boomerang kids.” Two new sitcoms feature grown children moving back in with their parents — “$#*! My Dad Says,” starring William Shatner as a divorced curmudgeon whose 20-something son can’t make it on his own as a blogger, and “Big Lake,” in which a financial whiz kid loses his Wall Street job and moves back home to rural Pennsylvania. A cover of The New Yorker last spring picked up on the zeitgeist: a young man hangs up his new Ph.D. in his boyhood bedroom, the cardboard box at his feet signaling his plans to move back home now that he’s officially overqualified for a job. In the doorway stand his parents, their expressions a mix of resignation, worry, annoyance and perplexity: how exactly did this happen? It’s happening all over, in all sorts of families, not just young people moving back home but also young people taking longer to reach adulthood overall. It’s a development that predates the current economic doldrums, and no one knows yet what the impact will be — on the prospects of the young men and women; on the parents on whom so many of them depend; on society, built on the expectation of an orderly progression in which kids finish school, grow up, start careers, make a family and eventually retire to live on pensions supported by the next crop of kids who finish school, grow up, start careers, make a family and on and on. The traditional cycle seems to have gone off course, as young people remain untethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling) Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life. The 20s are a black box, and there is a lot of churning in there. One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year. Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once. They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch. Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married. And marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation. This is a very interesting read. Its 10 pages so its pretty long, but I guess being in my 20's it hits home. I have a group of friends who still live at home and none of them really have a desire to move out. Their parents pay for most of their things so why would they ever leave? As soon as I started going to college, my mind was made up, I wasn't going to go back home. For one, I'm from St. Mary's County where there isn't much anyway. Going to college in the Baltimore area opened me up to more job oppurtunities than if I would've stayed home. Now at the age of 24 I have a stable job, own a car, a house, and I'm getting married next June. I didn't think of reaching these things by a certain age, they just happened. But why is it that more 20-somethings now-a-days seem to live at home? Is it the economy? All my friends that live at home are making more money than I am, so that can't be it. Is it the comfort of home? Could be. Is it the parents paying for most of the bills? Possibly. Could it be that people just aren't in a hurry to grow up? Maybe. So what do you guys think of the article and what is it with 20-somethings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 i am almost 24, and still live at home. Its so close to my job and i pay rent to my parents. Meanwhile, i get to save alot of money and bought a sweet car. When i leave my house, its going to be for a house that I own not that one I rent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterMP Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Parents treat kids like they are babies, and then act surprised when their kids don't grow up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsHokieFan Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I take care of my parents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 i am almost 24, and still live at home. Its so close to my job and i pay rent to my parents. Meanwhile, i get to save alot of money and bought a sweet car. When i leave my house, its going to be for a house that I own not that one I rent I just don't and will never understand this mindset. Where's your pride man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyholetsgogrant Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rssClick the link for full article This is a very interesting read. Its 10 pages so its pretty long, but I guess being in my 20's it hits home. I have a group of friends who still live at home and none of them really have a desire to move out. Their parents pay for most of their things so why would they ever leave? As soon as I started going to college, my mind was made up, I wasn't going to go back home. For one, I'm from St. Mary's County where there isn't much anyway. Going to college in the Baltimore area opened me up to more job oppurtunities than if I would've stayed home. Now at the age of 24 I have a stable job, own a car, a house, and I'm getting married next June. I didn't think of reaching these things by a certain age, they just happened. But why is it that more 20-somethings now-a-days seem to live at home? Is it the economy? All my friends that live at home are making more money than I am, so that can't be it. Is it the comfort of home? Could be. Is it the parents paying for most of the bills? Possibly. Could it be that people just aren't in a hurry to grow up? Maybe. So what do you guys think of the article and what is it with 20-somethings? I don't think it is as much as "what is it with 20 somethings" as it is with the economy. I still live with my parents, because the economy flat out sucks, yes I could have taken any old job and MAYBE move out( I would probably have to have roommates), but I would be miserable. The jobs situation is far worse than anyone could have imagined. If I could get a decent job tomorrow I would rent a UHaul and leave. BTW my degree is in criminology (there is almost nothing out there for that type of degree), I am back in school for a AA in Network Security. I prefer to have a professional job now and then go to school so I can move out, but it is just not possible now with the economy. What did you major in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sportjunkie07 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 im from smc also i think it has a lot to do with college systems nowadays. more and more learning is required to land jobs nowadays, and most college kids cant pay for a mortgage and school. at least thats my deal. also, i think we are a pretty lazy generation, probably a combo of the two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 How much of this has to do with housing prices I wonder? If I were raising kids in California, DC, NYC, Chicago... I'd go ahead and count on them living with me until they inhereted the house. $600k for a starter home. Hmmm... are they paying college graduates $300k in California? .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattFancy Posted August 18, 2010 Author Share Posted August 18, 2010 BTW my degree is in criminology (there is almost nothing out there for that type of degree), I am back in school for a AA in Network Security. I prefer to have a professional job now and then go to schoo so I can move out, but it is just not possible now. What did you major in? I majored in Business Administration with a concentration in Management. Right now I work in HR, which wasn't what I thought I'd be doing when I got out of school, but the pay is decent and I get great benefits. The economy has played a part in it I'm sure, but like I said, I have friends who are making more than me and still live at home. They could easily afford an apt or something, but don't seem interested in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I just don't and will never understand this mindset. Where's your pride man? It also depends on your culture too. I am indian and most of the time we do live with our parents or they live with us. I dont get your question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sportjunkie07 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 also, a lot of people my age feel like when theyre in their 20's they have arrived, or at least, should have arrived. they should be able to spend and live just like their parents who have worked their whole lives for the lifestyle they enjoy. hence, young people dont wanna live in a small house that they purchased when they can enjoy the luxuries that their parents can afford. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyholetsgogrant Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 also, a lot of people my age feel like when theyre in their 20's they have arrived, or at least, should have arrived. they should be able to spend and live just like their parents who have worked their whole lives for the lifestyle they enjoy.hence, young people dont wanna live in a small house that they purchased when they can enjoy the luxuries that their parents can afford. Eh, I am not sure if I can buy that, I have a friend who graduated with a B.A. and M.A. in Criminology and cant buy a job interview (seriously shes probably one of the smartest people I know). I always joke with her that she should staple a $20 bill to the resume Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsHokieFan Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 It also depends on your culture too. I am indian and most of the time we do live with our parents or they live with us. I dont get your question? Big cultural thing. Be an oldest son and tell your mom you are moving Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 also, a lot of people my age feel like when theyre in their 20's they have arrived, or at least, should have arrived. they should be able to spend and live just like their parents who have worked their whole lives for the lifestyle they enjoy.hence, young people dont wanna live in a small house that they purchased when they can enjoy the luxuries that their parents can afford. Or as I like to say, can't support themselves in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 Big cultural thing. Be an oldest son and tell your mom you are moving Haha Yup im the oldest... She thinks i will be living with her forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I moved back in with my father for exactly four months when I was 25/26 years old. The reason being, I was getting married in May of 2006, and the lease on the townhouse I rented with friends was up in November of 2005. I had no interest in paying a month-to-month lease. In four months, I moved into my own place (in April) and got it ready for the wife. Living at home just didn't feel right, I needed to make my way. Actually scratch that...I suppose I lived with him for 4 months or so when I graduated from college also, but at the four month mark, I moved into the above townhouse with friends. Repeat above, living at home didn't feel right, I needed to make my own way. I don't understand people who think otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I moved out at age 19 and I've been on my own since. I've graduated college and have been working on my career since. I have however, been very slow to hit the last two "milestones" (getting married and having kids). I've been living with my girlfriend for a few years now and we've just been enjoying ourselves at this stage in our lives before we get bogged down with the responsibility of parenting. I think a lot of people from my generation are the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SloppyOneXXVI Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 How much of this has to do with housing prices I wonder?If I were raising kids in California, DC, NYC, Chicago... I'd go ahead and count on them living with me until they inhereted the house. $600k for a starter home. Hmmm... are they paying college graduates $300k in California? .... It has ALOT to do with it. Back in the 70's (or so my parents tell me) most families with only the husband working could buy a decent home within two or three of starting an entry level job. That's not the case any more. A good salary for someone in their mid-20's is anything over 60k (atleast around DC). You can't buy a house in Columbia, MD with that kind of income (assuming you want to put 20% down) let alone the metro DC area. You would have to buy a dump or a condo. No thanks, I'll wait until I can afford a 20% down payment in an area I actually like. However; a couple making a combined 120k can buy a house, but that will keep them from starting a family. Additional costs and work constraints would probably keep the couple from pursuing children until their early 30's. I decided to buy a home in Baltimore and rent it because I can't afford anything around here. I'm still building equity on the house in Baltimore, even though I rent in the DC area. Side note, I had to move back in with my parents once for a month when I was 24 and currently live with my gf that I'm not engaged to. Pretty spot on article. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky21 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 It also depends on your culture too. I am indian and most of the time we do live with our parents or they live with us. I dont get your question? For most of the people from Zoony and my generation it was a point of pride to be able to move out on your own and not be dependant on other people to "make it" in the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HailYeah Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 It also depends on your culture too. I am indian and most of the time we do live with our parents or they live with us. I dont get your question? That is true. The article is written soley from an American point of view. In Europe, and most of the world for that matter, its perfectly acceptable both culturally and economically to live with your parents in to your 30s and beyond. I myself just couldnt do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pick6 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I live in Arlington and rent an apartment. I live with my best friend. My commute is short(into to DC on metro) and I go to grad school part-time at GW. I refused to ever live with my parents even for a second after undergrad. Also I don't want to sit in traffic everyday so I refuse to live in a house down I-95, but that is just me. I am having a blast being single in the city and living with my parents in Lorton would be miserable. I don't care if it saved me every dollar I made in salary. I think it is BS if someone in there 20s milks off their parents to save money, because their folks won't be saving anything with their adult kids around. Parents have spent enough on their kids to raise them and college too in some cases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 For most of the people from Zoony and my generation it was a point of pride to be able to move out on your own and not be dependant on other people to "make it" in the world. Exactly. My dad had a rule... when I was 18, I was out. If I wanted to go to college, fine. If not, fine. But I was out. My attitude was "oh don't worry about me" lol To this day I have no respect for people who don't make it on their own. And it's not just 20 somethings. I know 50 somethings who have never worked worked for anything. I wonder how they look in the mirror. .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pick6 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I moved out at age 19 and I've been on my own since. I've graduated college and have been working on my career since. I have however, been very slow to hit the last two "milestones" (getting married and having kids). I've been living with my girlfriend for a few years now and we've just been enjoying ourselves at this stage in our lives before we get bogged down with the responsibility of parenting. I think a lot of people from my generation are the same way. Screw the last two milestones, they sound pretty overrated. The wife will leave u and the kids won't now a days. :evilg: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skin'Em84 Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I'm 25,I live with my parents now, and although I love them, I hate it to death. I really just can't afford living anywhere else right now; but am working to remedy that. I can't understand letting your parents pay for your stuff at this age, especially if you can afford it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcsluggo Posted August 18, 2010 Share Posted August 18, 2010 I remember reading in the early 90s, at the height of the tokyo property bubble, that more and more families were starting to take out 60 and even 100 year mortgages. The "nuclear family" isn't a universally embraced concept, some cultures simply think more inter-generational than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.