royallypwned Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I rarely get personal here, but pardon me while I do so here... My entire life, I have always had a problem saying "I love you." But it's only when talking to my family. I can say it to my GF, and I can say "I love you, man" to buddies, but I can't to my family. Every phone call with my mom, she ends the conversation with "I love you." I just get awkward and say something like "I'll talk to you soon." And when I look her in the eyes, I can tell it hurts her. It has gotten worse in the last few years. It's not like I hate my family or anything. I just feel weird for some reason. Does anybody else have this problem? Does this make me a bad person? And if possible, I would greatly appreciate it if nobody makes a "you being a Cowboy fan is what makes you a bad person" kinda joke reply. I have no problem with that elsewhere of course (in fact I say bring it! ), but I'd like to keep this thread serious. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsfan07 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I say I love you to my family every chance I get. Especially my parents. They brought you into this world. haha you should love them unconditionally, like they do you. I don't know why it would feel awkward? Unless you had a bad childhood experience that involved them or something. Otherwise, it is just weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanTaylorisPiamp Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I have the exact same problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 That's sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Hmm, I end every conversation with my parents with "I love you." It's just kind of natural to me now, and I don't give it a second thought. Maybe if you never grew up saying it, it's just awkward to you? Or maybe you connect "I love you" to a more romantic feeling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddys little skins fan Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 You never know. Maybe, god forbid, something terrible happens and you'll never see them again. I always feel better knowing that if that were to happen, one of the last things they heard from me was "I love you," you know? My family is who I'm most comfortable saying it to. Then my friends. Can't say it to the manfriend yet... cause it wouldn't be true. But that always bothers me because I want him to know I care, but I don't wanna say something I don't mean. I feel like "I love you" is a pretty big deal. Don't want to throw it around as far as relationships go. But as far as family's go... saying I love you is pretty legit if you ask me. Crucial, actually. You said you didn't hate your family, but you also didn't say you loved them. If you do, you should say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IONTOP Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I grew up not saying I love you to my parents... It's not because there was a lack of love, or I was ever mad at them... It's just not what we said... Now that I've moved away, when I talk to my parents on the phone, we'll end the call with a super quick "loveyoubye", unless it's a serious conversation, then you can actually make out what we say... It was awkward the first few times I said it... But ya know... I started saying it and now it's no longer awkward... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I have no problem telling the people that I love, that I love them. Especially my family. But I get what you mean. It was awkward when I was younger. But as an adult it just feels like the right thing to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Yeah, that's sad and it's something you should consciously fight to get over especially if it bothers you and you do actually love them. I've certainly had that problem before with women, but that stems from a fear of rejection more than anything. Do you have any idea why you have this resistance or when it started? Are you from one of those families that trained its men to be stoic and very hard? Is there something that was done to you that part of you can't get over or forgive? Is it a childish powerploy that has become engrained in habit? Whatever it is you should try to grapple with it and if your parents/family is worthy of love you should not deny them. Probably you don't as love can be demonstrated with actions more than words, but it sounds like those words are becoming a stumbling block and building an awkwardness. Once something becomes a problem it needs to be dealt with. It's better to deal with it before it becomes a problem, but afterwards it's a necessity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ixcuincle Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Do you remember that Seinfeld episode entitled "The Face Painter" where George had a problem saying "I love you" to that girl and he wasn't sure if he heard it the first time because he thought she couldn't hear through that ear? Damn Seinfeld is funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I never have trouble saying it to my family, especially my mom. My dad and I don't say it to each other unless I go out to visit them (they actually live in Ft Worth) and I'm about to get on the plane to leave. But hey man, think of it like this. You never know when the last time you'll talk to your family is, so don't be scared to say it, especially to your mom and especially, especially if she says it to you first. You always hear people that have lost loved ones talk about how they wished they would've told the person they lost how much they meant to them so just don't take it for granted. Just throw it out there even if it's not easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchogs Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 the only time it was ever awkward for me was with my sister. we fought like cats and dogs while we were in the same house, and though we got along after that, it was weird to say it. i don't remember when it felt normal, but it does now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Yea Im in the say it every time I get off the phone or leave my family group. You never know what could happen to your family so its important to always leave on good terms and always say you love them. I lost my father a couple years ago and I thank God every day that him and I left things on good terms. We didnt speak for almost 2 years before he died but we made up about a month before hand. Then he just had a heart attack out of the blue. Seriously, you gotta try to get over it and force yourself to say it if you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I had that same problem until my wife left my 3 year old son and I. I don't have that problem any more. I don't take things for granted like I used to. I guess I got a wake up call... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumrunner6900 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 You never know. Maybe, god forbid, something terrible happens and you'll never see them again. I always feel better knowing that if that were to happen, one of the last things they heard from me was "I love you," you know? But hey man, think of it like this. You never know when the last time you'll talk to your family is, so don't be scared to say it, especially to your mom and especially, especially if she says it to you first. You always hear people that have lost loved ones talk about how they wished they would've told the person they lost how much they meant to them so just don't take it for granted. Just throw it out there even if it's not easy. This is why it isn't hard for me. One time my buddy gave me **** for getting off of the phone with my mom and saying "I love you". I told him pretty much the same thing. A damn plane could fall on top of us right at that moment, and at least I would've had said it. It actually did change his perspective on things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rdskn4Lyf21 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I used to be the same way, not really sure why. After high school my feelings on it changed and I use it with friends and family pretty frequently now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbleedBnG83 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Seems like as you have gotten older, you have viewed the term "I love you" for a significant other. You have to remember it carries multiple meanings. Imagine if, God forbid, your mother passed away today how you would feel. I bet you would tell her how much she meant to you and think of all the feelings from that. Thats love. You should remember that when you speak to her and make her feel special. Mothers day is every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ECU-ALUM Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I say it to my family and friends as often as I can now...ever since my older brother passed away in 2002. Because they could pass away just quickly and unexpectedly as he did...I do take solice though that the last thing I ever said to my older brother was, "I Love You" and it was on his birthday. To the OP...it doesn't make you a bad person at all...for some people it just doesn't feel natural to say that but that doesn't mean you don't love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissance Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 My entire life, I have always had a problem saying "I love you." But it's only when talking to my family. I can say it to my GF, and I can say "I love you, man" to buddies, but I can't to my family. Every phone call with my mom, she ends the conversation with "I love you." I just get awkward and say something like "I'll talk to you soon." And when I look her in the eyes, I can tell it hurts her. It has gotten worse in the last few years. It's not like I hate my family or anything. I just feel weird for some reason. Does anybody else have this problem? Does this make me a bad person? Do you love your mom? And no, not saying it doesn't make you a bad person. You would be a bad person if you didn't give a **** that it looks like this hurts your mom. You obviously care enough to ask about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 A bit morbid, but you never know what tomorrow will bring, so if you do love them, tell them. Just think of how it will make them feel to hear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Nah doesn't make you a bad person. Heck if my parents had raised me to be a Cowboy fan I'd probably have a hard time telling them I loved them too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKSkinsFan Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 If it's something you've never said, it can and will feel awkward to start, but if you really think about it, wouldn't you rather feel a little awkward then have your mom upset? Just say it, it'll eventually get easier to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I had the same problem at that time of my life. I did have a lot of issues with my parents, as they were both alcoholics, acted badly and wound up getting divorced when I was 9. In the 60's divorce was kinda of a shameful thing for the whole family. Took a long time for me to get over it. I don't have a problem with it now, but sometimes it still feels awkward. Don't beat yourself up over it, work on your relationship with your mother. Accept her for who she is (the good and the bad) and think of her as like you would a friend, as you are both adults now. One problem that I had with my Mother, is that she would continue to talk to me like I was 10 years old at 20,30... until I made her aware of how awkward that made me feel. Especially since from about 8 years old on, I basically had to do a lot for myself like cooking, laundry, shopping for clothes (what clothes) since she was drunk or hung over most of the time. There was usually very little to eat in the house and I relied on eating at my friends homes who's Mothers understood my situation. Pretty unnerving for a kid to go through, I basically missed more than half of my childhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuraitengai Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 I say I love you to my family every chance I get. Especially my parents. They brought you into this world. haha you should love them unconditionally, like they do you.I don't know why it would feel awkward? Unless you had a bad childhood experience that involved them or something. Otherwise, it is just weird. just cuz you dont say it doesnt mean you dont feel it. i never say i love you to anyone in my family and cant remember a time in my life when i did. but my parents know id do anything for them. i just dont say i love you to anyone really. ive only said it to like 3 or 4 girls, and only once did i really mean it. the rest of the times i thought i did, but later figured out i didnt. but my mom will say it everytime getting off the phone. as does my aunt. and im just like 'ok, bye' or 'uh huh'. and its no big deal. no one even notices cuz its said as they are already starting to hang up anyway. but its never been an awkward thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurd Cudins Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 What better way to say, "I love you".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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