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Does your wife make more than you??


Cassow

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I found out the other day that my wife will soon be making more than I do.

Ahem, a lot more (oh say..4 times more).

We have been pretty even in the salary department up until now, and I have a great job (big 4), but there is no way I can come close to what she's making. Part of me was excited to hear the news. It will totally change our lives...bigger house, nicer cars, nicer vacations...who wouldn't want that? However, another part of me wonders if I will feel diminished, or less of a man, knowing that my wife is making so much more than I am.

Does anyone have experience with this, or advice on how to swallow my pride?

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I found out the other day that my wife will soon be making more than I do.

Ahem, a lot more (oh say..4 times more).

We have been pretty even in the salary department up until now, and I have a great job (big 4), but there is no way I can come close to what she's making. Part of me was excited to hear the news. It will totally change our lives...bigger house, nicer cars, nicer vacations...who wouldn't want that? However, another part of me wonders if I will feel diminished, or less of a man, knowing that my wife is making so much more than I am.

Does anyone have experience with this, or advice on how to swallow my pride?

You have a sugar momma. Enjoy it.

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Guest sith lord
I found out the other day that my wife will soon be making more than I do.

Ahem, a lot more (oh say..4 times more).

We have been pretty even in the salary department up until now, and I have a great job (big 4), but there is no way I can come close to what she's making. Part of me was excited to hear the news. It will totally change our lives...bigger house, nicer cars, nicer vacations...who wouldn't want that? However, another part of me wonders if I will feel diminished, or less of a man, knowing that my wife is making so much more than I am.

Does anyone have experience with this, or advice on how to swallow my pride?

The only thing you'll have to worry about is her family and friends getting into her head.

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Guest sith lord
Can you elaborate?

They might start telling her that "you shouldn't be supporting him." "You can do better." "I know someone you should meet." "Is he trying to find a better job?" I'm not trying to alarm you, but it happens.

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Can you elaborate?

evil GF-"You need a man who can take care of you and can treat you like a lady. How can he do that if you're always footing the bill? He's only a blank and makes blank amount of dollars. You need a man who's on YOUR level."

stuff like that. :laugh:

the only thing you should worry about is the demands of the 4x pay job. hopefully she'll be around enough for you two to enjoy the extra money. if she's going to be always tired or away, i really don't think its worth it.

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They might start telling her that "you shouldn't be supporting him." "You can do better." "I know someone you should meet." "Is he trying to find a better job?" I'm not trying to alarm you, but it happens.

My wife is above all that. I know she loves me and would never let the money or anything anyone said to go to her head. Keep in mind I do have a good job, so it's not like she's "supporting" some dead-beat or anything.

I think I'm more worried about my handling of the situation and not hers.

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Early on in our marriage my wife made more than I did. It never really bothered me and there were never any "issues" as a result of it. Then again, she only made $5 or $6K more per year than me....no where near 4 times my salary. That is a big difference.

She sounds like a keeper to me :)

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The only thing you'll have to worry about is her family and friends getting into her head.
Easy solution to this issue: keep your personal business personal. None of her friends or family need to know how much the two of you make, individually or cumulatively. My wife makes more than I do, and I have no issue with it. We plan accordingly, putting as much as we can into retirment so we can stop working at (crossing fingers) 55 and enjoy life. All I can say is save, save, save, and then after that, save some more.
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the only thing you should worry about is the demands of the 4x pay job. hopefully she'll be around enough for you two to enjoy the extra money. if she's going to be always tired or away, i really don't think its worth it.

Thanks LW. Actually she'll work the same, or even less hours than she currently works. She'll also have the opportunity to set her own schedule--so that's a plus.

I know I wouldn't have a problem with her making 5, 10, even 20k more than me. But, damn...4 times more is a lot.

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Now are we counting what she brings home or what I let her keep?

+10 for pimpness

On topic: You are looking at this all wrong. Marriage is a partnership and by earning so much more then you she has increased her risk. It's her that now has to worry about the marriage disolving. If you leave, or she leaves you, you get half of everything and in doing so far more then bread crumbs you managed to bring to the table. Hell you could ask for support arguing that you've become accustomed to a level of luxury that your job just can't provide.

As for your pride, forget that crap. If you love her be happy for her and cheer her on. Be proud of the fact that you married a great one.

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It's a new world. My wife makes more than I do. She's also got one hell of a lot more education than I do, and is in a very good field (translation).

I don't have any problem with it.

If I laid around and allowed her to support everyone, then I would have a problem with me, but since I don't, I haven't got any issue. I didn't marry her education and career. I married her, and I'd have done it even if she had no education and worked in a shoe store.

~Bang

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