webnarc Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/07_03/07-03-juicing-on-the-job.htm Always expect a trap. True story: After a year at sales job, my boss summoned me to his office and offered me a drink. I knew he liked a taste (he had a fully-stocked liquor cabinet to the right of his desk) and I immediately agreed. He asked me general questions about my sales route, then asked if I needed a refill. Of course I did. Then, during my third scotch rocks, I realized with a black dread that he was not drinking. It was right about then he started asking me about bars that were in my sales territory and I knew I’d fallen into a trap. I knew about those bars very well because I spent about a third of my on-the-clock, out-of-office time happily ensconced inside them.He offered a fourth and, fully aware I’d crossed the rummy Rubicon, I accepted. The way I figured it, the axe was already falling and I was collecting the closest thing I would get to a severance check. A week later I was let go. Which brings up a point. I was not fired for a lack of performance. While I was not the hottest salesman on the street, I was in the upper thirty percentile. Though I am a naturally shy gentleman, I outsold teetotalers right and left because I used my frequent stops at the bars to keep me loose and sociable. My mistake was I had miscalculated; I didn’t put a lot of effort in hiding my tracks because I assumed my performance good enough to make my superiors look the other way. Which brings up the next section. It's a great site if you like the sauce and the article is right on the money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Chaos47 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 :paranoid: Probably not a good link to click on at work though. :paranoid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 This is now my homepage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidenreich Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I've done the "liquid lunch" a couple of times, but everytime I'm with a superior, I always make sure they order something first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 This is now my homepage. :laugh: :laugh: tell me it's your homepage on your office computer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cskin Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I had a roomate 12 years ago in Atlanta who was an amazing functioning alchoholic. EVERY DAY I knew the man, he would come home from work at a department store with a 12-pack of Busch beer. Never another brand....ALWAYS Busch. He'd drink them all in his room while ironing his clothes. He'd iron everything... underwear, socks, T-shirts.... everything. If he ran out of ironing... he'd just iron stuff that was already ironed. He was a complete obsessive compulsive about crisp, creased clothes. If he'd finish the 12-pack and could still find his way to the kitchen... he'd fill a Big Gulp cup with Jaeggermiester. Sometimes my other roomate and I would come home from a night out preying on the young and supple (women) of Atlanta and find him passed out under the ironing board. He'd have a cigarette in his hand and would be out cold. I often wondered how he didn't pass out and pull the iron over with him and either kill himself, severely burn himself or something in his room, or worse burn the house down. Now...get this... in the morning he would get up and take a 45 minute shower. Just sit in the tub to sober up. Then.... he take a rag and rub himself down with rubbing alchohol in an attempt to mask the smell of alchohol eminating from his pores. Then... on the way out the door.... fill a travel coffee mug with black coffee and... you guessed it..... a beer. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chopper Dave Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I don't know how someone could work drunk. Closest I ever came was having a few beers with my boss on July 4th before my shift. Working high, on the other hand, which half the people at the store did, was great. Just not too high. Working blitzed was damn near impossible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I've gone drinking with my boss during lunch.. I leave for the day at that point though.. he goes back... He's almost gotten busted and in trouble... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 :laugh: :laugh: tell me it's your homepage on your office computer! My company laptop, yes. Im in sales, so its ok. My company even reimburses me for bartabs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I don't know how someone could work drunk. Closest I ever came was having a few beers with my boss on July 4th before my shift.Working high, on the other hand, which half the people at the store did, was great. Just not too high. Working blitzed was damn near impossible. I never liked to work high - just seems like a waste of a buzz to me. Though i've told employees i don't really care if they come in high, as long as they can function and do their job. I won't allow them to come in drunk, however. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoCommiesGo Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I had a friend of mine who was a functional alcholic. He would drink either a fith of Seagrams or a couple of pints of Seagrams. He quit but I've never seen anyone drink like he did. edit: I used to work nights and do closing at Boaters World and would go to Fridays before I started and have a beer and a few shots. Made the night go by so much better. Occasionally the day manger would join me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rictus58 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I never liked to work high - just seems like a waste of a buzz to me. You've obviously never been a courier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsD Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I went to work drunk once when I had a night job - horrible, horrible expierience. I had a friend who did it all the time so I was confident. I'm pretty good at keeping my composure even when I'm smashed but I was so paranoid someone would notice I was drunk that I just sat in the corner and didn't talk to anyone until I sobered up. When I was in high school I worked at Best Buy and we had these annoying team meeting once a month, I routinely went to those high. My friends who worked there still crack up when they remember how I would laugh non-stop during those cheesy, company produced prep videos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJeremy Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I am drunk right now. Thanks for the link...good info. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
webnarc Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 I am drunk right now.Thanks for the link...good info. No problem. It's a great site and I'm always surprized at the quality of the writing. Tomorrow's my last day at this job so we're going out tonight to create a "sick day" tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 I used to have a job at a medical transcription business...I would format the transcriptions and send them off...monkey work. I was good at it, so the boss let some stuff slide. I came in drunk twice...the first time was because I was at fantasy fest Friday and Saturday (I worked Sunday afternoons). Its like a Key West Mardi Gras for those who haven't been there. Anyway, needless to say we drank all night while there, so I found a ride back around 6am (still drunk as hell) and got back just in time to go into work at 11. I'm sure I stunk, because I got some wierd looks. I didn't get much work done, either. The other time was similar, except after a rugby tournament and a particularly wild after party. Really, really, really, really drunk. Those are the only two times I've come into work drunk. Now hungover, man...ALL the time! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoeRedskins Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 Coming into work drunk always resulted in a massive headache when the alcohol wore off. I just resently stopped going out on weeknights so going in hungover isn't a problem anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinsfan1311 Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 At this point of my life, I juggle too many numbers and value my job too much to risk it. But when I was younger......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I'm guessing my days as a bartender don't count. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I'm guessing my days as a bartender don't count. Seeing you post in this thread and looking at the worst injuries thread makes you go hmmmmmmm... I was wondering how he shot himself with a nail gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Seeing you post in this thread and looking at the worst injuries thread makes you go hmmmmmmm... I was wondering how he shot himself with a nail gun. I wish Bob. Then at least I would have an excuse for some of that nonsense. :dunce: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbooma Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I've done the "liquid lunch" a couple of times, but everytime I'm with a superior, I always make sure they order something first. BINGO Do not buy that Sam Adams commercial Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoCalMike Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 At an old warehouse job I had I worked a swing shift, our final break was at 11:30pm, so we would all go by the carloads to AMPM and drink beer nonstop for 20mins, come back to work buzzed for the final 90mins of work. I was young. At another job I had the assistant manager would regularly get high or drunk at lunch, but since his job consists of sitting in front of the computer and merely printing out orders as they came in, it never effected his work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Hell, when I was lobstering, it was the off day that I worked sober, I was always high or drunk, and usually both. . . but then again, being 18, and having the guy you worked for go through an ounce of pot every 2 days, so it was kind of hard to stay sober Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dks1240 Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 My company laptop, yes.Im in sales, so its ok. My company even reimburses me for bartabs. note to self: if ever in mclean, VA...go on business bar trip with bleaseblitz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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