To homeschool or not to homeschool?

My wife is thinking about homeschooling our kids next year. I have a daughter going into 5th grade and a son going into 1st. We'd either be sending them to a private school or homeschooling. I'm a little concerned with the quality of the education they would get if they homeschooled, if only because we also have another child 1 year younger than the upcoming 1st grader, and I think it might be a little overwhelming for her. I know we could save money by homeschooling though, but I'm also concerned that my kids won't get the socialization skills necessary.

Who has homeschooled in here and could discuss the pros/cons of the two?

Don't do it

Just a couple questions: why aren't you considering the public school system? what type of experience does your wife have with teaching?

My mom homeschooled my younger sister for a year (I believe I was at the local high school and my sister was in 6th grade at the time). It was a different type of situation because it was a co-op (a couple other families had pulled their children from the local private school as well, but didn't want to place them in the public school either). So, the co-op teaching staff consisted of 3 mothers I believe and I think there were a total of 4 kids. Anyway, if I ever considered homeschool for my future children, this would be the only way I would do it as the kids had the opportunity to socialize with other kids who weren't their siblings, had specialized instruction from intelligent parents, many of whom had teaching experience, and were able to have unique learning opportunities kids in public and/or private school would never get (field trips to science museums, special museum exhibits highlighting what they were learning in history, etc.). While it doesnt sound like a co-op is really an option for you, I think the stuff I outlined are some of the perks of homeschooling a child. Since the little co-op my sister was in was run in the 90s, I'm sure homeschool curriculum has advanced immensely and I'm sure there is a whole world of online learning opportunities and virtual classrooms that are available now that weren't back then.

If I had to think of drawbacks, it would be the socialization factor. I don't know if I've ever met a kid who was homeschooled by themselves or with a sibling who weren't at least mildly socially awkward. I think that would be the biggest concern for me as a parent. I would definitely be concerned as well about the age of your 2 youngest children. They might require the type of attention that would make it difficult for your wife to teach effectively. I don't know though, I have no idea how organized your wife is, what type of experience she has in education, etc.

So, as usual, advice cannot be doled out in black and white "yes/no." Obviously it depends a lot on the individual factors in your household. Best of luck to you and your wife as you guys make this decision.

My SIL is planning on home schooling. I think she has whacked out ideas of diets for her family and is very narrow-minded about her Catholic beliefs. So I think it's just more indoctrination and propaganda than "home schooling". Sure, it always comes from a place of love but we live in rural area, they live in a relatively secluded farm house, and the kids will probably only hang out with "vetted" friends. It's just a small, intolerant world that keeps getting smaller for these kids.

List of famous homeschoolers

Any list with John Travolta is suspect, 'Cause you know the topic of that home school. Any list that mentions George Washington is suspect. How else were people in isolated plantations educated back then.

I'm probably being unfair. Oh and everyone's favorite homeschooled athlete: Tebow.

Basically, don't homeschool because I can't stand my sister-in-law.

Agree with K

Every home school kid I've met has been a bit "off"

But if that's not as important for you, go for it. Most of those same kids are quite intelligent

Homeschooling is a bad choice in my opinion for a couple of reasons. First, parents usually lack training in teaching strategies and have knowledge, resource deficits. With the internet that can be mitigated, but there will still be holes. Second, while the one to one attention is great, students also learn by modeling and learning from others at a similar developmental level. We don't think like kids do and they are actually pretty good at teaching each other. Third, one of the reasons for school is not facts and figures, but socializing. Kids need to learn how to interact in society and multiple contexts. Homeschooling obviously has huge limitations in this. Fourth, kids need callouses. In this world, they do need to learn to deal with jerks, bullies, and idiots. These people don't disappear once you leave the world of school. Fifth, if you are an engaged parent, there is absolutely no reason you can't "home school" a child who is in school by supplementing the education or working with your child on homework, etc. School should never be the sole place of learning.

First, parents usually lack training in teaching strategies and have knowledge, resource deficits. With the internet that can be mitigated, but there will still be holes.

Not to mention... even teachers constantly discuss students' deficiencies with other teachers in an effort to find the best strategies/resources to meet their needs as a learner.

School should never be the sole place of learning.

:applause:

If all parents understood this a teacher's job would be a lot easier.

Burgold, I love your analysis, that was really great. I was thinking of talking my stepdaughter into letting me homeschool my oldest granddaughter(she's 7). She's not doing her in-class work, is disruptive and won't even begin to entertain the idea of homework. But she's really smart! She really likes small science stuff, likes figuring out how things work and why. I just wonder if she needs a different setting, and if it's with grandma, (I'm a tough one, not a softy, and she knows it), would it help her? They live about an hour's drive away, but I think she'd get more knowledge in less time with me. She has no social issues, being half Hispanic she deals with everyone well. I've never seen her be mean to anyone other than her bigger brother, and I encouraged her when she punched him once...he kept stepping on her blankie and making her trip and fall, so when she hit him, I said,"Yeah, don't let him do that to you." They're so protective of each other now!

Any ideas? When they're coming over, hubby and I usually plan a little "project" for them, and they usually accomplish it. They're not dummies...I've met their teachers and she's the only one with issues.

I agree with Burgold,but it depends on the child.

Public/group schooling tends to limit the pace of learning in many cases,but is beneficial in social development and group learning.

some children if not challenged will find other avenues to keep their attention....good avenues need to be encouraged.

allowing them to tutor other kids or other extracurricular activity can help

With someone who's seven the question is why she's acting out and what's the payoff she's getting out of it. There needs to be a careful balancing of extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. Does she get feel that flash of pride or excitement when she figures something out? Is she seeing all the bad kids get all the much wanted attention? Maybe that's why she's not being productive or maybe she's not getting enough support for being brilliant at home?

There are too many variables to guess entirely, but seven is a great age to course correct if you are seeing negative signs. It could also be a lousy environment. There are some classrooms that really are maladaptive to learning? Have you talked to the teachers?

If you have concerns about the quality of your local public school education, move to a better zip code.

Schools have many resources and better trained professionals than a single parent can offer part-time. The school day is short enough that you can find time every day to work with the kid as a parent and accelerate thEir development.

I have met with her teachers, both last year and this one. They say she just refuses to focus on what she's doing...I think it's the sitting down and being quiet so EVERYONE can hear and learn at the same time. As a grandparent who's never been a parent, I need help. (They play in a "little league" basketball league, and I love those games! But I see her occasionally not caring, leaning somewhere, not focused on the game. Her brother is all in...stays focused. And we thought he would be the one who needed help.)

If you have concerns about the quality of your local public school education, move to a better zip code.

why not school choice?

As someone who lived through it for a good stretch don't do it. Social and peer relations development are just as, if not more important than the book learning you do in pre college education. I also spent a lot of time in private schools, which imo are highly overrated (went to public high school for the last 2 years). Public school will give them the best opportunity to meet, interact with and understand the real world. Private school and homeschool serve to isolate them from more and more people.

I have met with her teachers, both last year and this one. They say she just refuses to focus on what she's doing...I think it's the sitting down and being quiet so EVERYONE can hear and learn at the same time. As a grandparent who's never been a parent, I need help. (They play in a "little league" basketball league, and I love those games! But I see her occasionally not caring, leaning somewhere, not focused on the game. Her brother is all in...stays focused. And we thought he would be the one who needed help.)

One solution I remember from special Ed days (not suggesting a disability) but one accommodation that's been proven successful is a stress ball. With one hand she gets to work out energy which leaves her the ability to focus. Works well some.

I talked this subject over with my wife over breakfast and she said that in certain cases it's appropriate. One case being that bullying becomes so vicious that the child cannot learn in a school setting—they are terrorized, and how can you learn if you don't even feel safe? In these cases it's going beyond just developing a tough skin.

She works with kids like these from time to time and one avenue that is available now is cyber school. Online classrooms, but the quality varies from school district to school district, but in our state the State-run program is excellent. To the degree that students can work ahead and in some cases graduate two years early.

Out of the 100 or so teachers I had during the course of my education maybe a half dozen really edit: not touched but affected me. They made me think or do in a way that was particularly useful or effective for me. If I had had only two teachers (or even a few more) I would have missed out in a big way.

i wouldn't do it.

My son has had a fantastic experience in the public school system.

His grades are excellent, his social skills are terrific, and there is nothing I could ever do to replace the experiences he's gotten from being in class with other kids, being in the band, on the track team, and other extra-curricular activities that he's participated in.

He has a real sense of community, and he has a real sense of his place among his peers, and he also has a very stable vision of his future.

I've mentioned this before, but i was very nervous about the puiblic schools, my experience in them was bad.

His has been a direct opposite, and it's due to a fundamental switch in the team approach that the teachers and administrators take now.

we've worked in tandem, and it's been very much to his benefit.

I am a big supporter of the public schools, especially ours here n Calvert county Maryland.

~Bang

If you wanted the pros and cons here they are:

Pro:

You could mold your child as you see fit

You would ensure (perhaps) that they would be what you want

They would learn exactly how you wish them to learn

Con:

You are depriving them of experience

You would be (possibly) limiting their social skills in the real world

They wouldn't know squat about whatever public schools teach and you didn't want them to know, or maybe simply forgot to teach.

They most definitely will not have as many friends as the "normal" student

High School (especially) is a blooming point for most and to keep them home schooled simply deprives them of experience in making friends, dealing with heartbreaks, working with others...etc This is a vital point in most peoples lives.

And, every homeschooled person i've ever met was considered "weird" and I remember as a kid only the strictest and crazies parents would homeschool their kids

I guess I'll be in the minority on this debate. I had a different experience than most, with regards to homeschooling. I was homeschooled from 5th grade-on and while there are advantages and disadvantages to it, I felt like I had more opportunities through homeschooling, that I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Now let me be clear, at the onset of homeschooling I wasn't comfortable and I didn't know how to handle it properly. However, once I really learned how to take control of it, I felt like I had a great opportunity that many of my peers didn't get, until much later, with regards to taking ownership of my own education and not having to solely rely on someone else to provide me with that structure. Don't get me wrong though, there are times where I look back and wish I had certain structural aspects that weren't there through homeschooling, but overall I am more thankful for the things I gained through homeschooling than not. With that said, homeschooling isn't for everyone and if it's not, that's okay. But I also think it's unfair to say it's not worthy of consideration, because it has many benefits.

I think there is a common misperception that the reason people homeschool is purely to indoctrinate kids into a certain way of thinking (evidenced by many of the posts above) and while there are some parents that are like that, it's not the only reason. I mean take the pros that Deacon listed is his post directly above mine, none of those were my experience, nor would I view them as reasons for homeschooling. Hell, my family was pretty reiligious (father an ordained minister) but not once was part of my schooling intended to force me to be what my parents wanted me to be. Furthermore, if you're intentions in homeschooling are as a means to indoctrinate, or any of the pros listed above, I implore you NOT to homeschool your kids, you'd be doing more harm than good, and would be no better than the box that many schools try to put your kids in, in the first place. My own experience was much different than what many in here perceive the homeschool experience to be, most around here already know, but I'm not religious, and much of the conversations that were brought up regarding religion were about questioning, not conditioning. I'd also say I'm sure that I didn't learn the way my parents wanted me to learn. I found my own way, and they embraced it, much more than many schools do, so in that sense I'm also very thankful.

Now I must preface this by saying that I had a unique situation, and maybe most kids wont have the same opportunities that I did, but one of the things I really enjoyed was the fact that I got the opportunity to see things from a perspective that many of my traditionally schooled peers would never have had the chance to, by way of specialized "field trips", if you will. My father also worked in entertainment and politics (activism may be more appropriate), and he usually dragged me to his business meetings, I say dragged because as a kid I found them boring, but being right there with him as he dealt with mayors, governors, city council sessions, musicians, producers, etc. or even just civic matters allowed me to see these things firsthand that my peers had to learn about from afar.

If you really want to homeschool, or are considering it, you want to learn what's available to you as well. Just because you homeschool, doesn't mean you have 0% access to school resources, your kid is a part of the school system regardless, so you actually have rights within the schools in your district. You can actually go speak with teachers and see what their lesson plans are, so that you can ensure your kids are on the same track as other kids, they can participate in extracurriculars, sit in on classes if you so choose, hell, your kids could even walk the stage during graduation. Just because they are home schooled doesn't mean they have to be isolated, they are still students within the school system, so they are afforded the same access and guarantees of a student in any public school (at least that's how it worked in Atlanta for me). So please be aware of that.

As has been stated, the biggest drawback to homeschooling is the socialization aspect, I'll definitely concede that point, there's no way to get around that, unless you're just fully immersing your kid into many activities with other kids. That's easier said than done though, even with the info in the paragraph above, it doesn't work out that way for every person. I'll admit that I'm a bit socially awkward—actually with my experience I had an easier time socializing with those older than me, than those my own age—however, I was socially awkward even in school, so I don't know how much homeschooling contributed to that, I guess it allowed me to be who I was without having to worry about some artificial construct of what is considered "normal" or "weird" when most are just as abnormal or weird in their own way. Again in that sense I'm glad I had the chance to become my own person, without having to force myself to fit in or be what everyone thought I should be. But ultimately it's about balance, and giving them a proper balance of school and social so that they are able to at least learn to adjust when they get into those situations, something I think I've done well with. The one suggestion I would give though, even if you do feel that homeschooling is the right move for your family, as far as balancing goes, I would definitely suggest giving them at least a few years of high-school, it's just something I think every kid should have and if there's one thing I really feel I missed out on the most, it's the high-school experience.

Lastly, you may want to take a look at the Montessori school experience, it's a nice mixture of the home-school freedom, and flexibility, with a balance of the school structure. My wife & I are strongly considering putting our daughter in a Montessori school and I have a a number of friends who have done it, all with nothing but positive things to say about it. I'm not going to write another book on that philosophy, so if you want more info on that, PM me. But I highly recommend you look into that at least up until High-School. Good luck in your search.

Another drawback, you can't date any of your classmates if you're homeschooled. At least you shouldn't.

Being homeschooled sucks. Every friend of mine who has had to go through it will attest to that. School is where you make friends and learn to interact with people your age. Besides, it's elementary school, all that matters is the kids learn to read/write and do basic math.

Since one of the choices was Private School, that would be my suggestion. Home schooling is not something I would suggest because as others mentioned, school gives a kid more than just an education, it also gives them the social skills needed for life after school. Things like, leadership skills and even the ability to follow can come from more than just sports and can not be taught from a one on one from the parents (no offense.)

Though one suggestion is to make sure that you do your own "school work" when it comes to researching private schools. Things such as class room sizes, what is their history of students that go from their school to college, what are their state and city board credentials, etc. If the class sizes are the same size as it would be to go to a public school, then you're going to get the same education as a public school. It also means the private school is cutting corners and not hiring a sufficient amount of teachers.

I went to public school and I cant imagine any other way. Many thanks to the teachers who helped me when I needed help. I have fond memoirs some good some bad but I would not change anything

Though one suggestion is to make sure that you do your own "school work" when it comes to researching private schools. Things such as class room sizes, what is their history of students that go from their school to college, what are their state and city board credentials, etc. If the class sizes are the same size as it would be to go to a public school, then you're going to get the same education as a public school. It also means the private school is cutting corners and not hiring a sufficient amount of teachers.

Not necessarily. Ask any teacher: the biggest advantage that a private school has over a public school is the ability to kick out the most disruptive kids so that the rest can learn. Catholic parochial schools, for example, provide a good education despite large class sizes, because the teacher doesn't have to spend half his or her time controlling those three kids who won't stop acting up or have major learning deficiencies.

Now if you are talking about an expensive elite private school, then you are correct. Small class size is part of what you pay for.