Just Had “The Talk” With My Son

[kleese]

It was awkward. I was hoping to avoid it a bit longer. But it was time. 
 

Last night, after I finally calmed down a little (this loss REALLY bothered me) I called my 10 year old son into our room and had “the talk.” 
 

Over the past two years or so his football fandom has drastically increased. His first love was baseball and he’s been into that for awhile; football came a little later, but it’s come on strong. He’s playing tackle this year and I’m the Coach so that has only further enhanced his love of the game in general. 
 

He is also now a Commanders fan. Kinda had no choice. Took him to his first game in Dallas last week— he loved the scene but was very disappointed with the loss. Today we watched out on the deck and he said his stomach hurt as the game wound down. He quickly walked away as it ended— he was very ready to celebrate. I stewed. 
 

As the afternoon wore on, I started to feel a tangible guilt. What am I doing to my son. I’m locked in here. I’ve made that choice. Honestly I made it around 1998 BEFORE Snyder even bought the team. That first post-Gibbs rebuild attempt was a terrible disappointing failure and those teams killed me. I think people often forget those stretch of seasons and how they helped set the table for what was to come. 
 

But I’ve stayed “in it” just as passionate as ever— the entire time. Obviously my expectation level has changed. My MOOD about the team has changed. My confidence level has bottomed out. But my personal fandom level is just like it was in 1991. No change. I don’t begrudge anyone who has bailed or who doesn’t care much any longer— but that is not the case for me. 
 

But my son is pure. He doesn’t have to be here. So I sat him down last night and told him he was free to go. Explained that this was a “save yourself” situation and that he doesn’t need to be a Washington fan just because I am. Hell, we live in Oklahoma— I told him to feel free to pick the Chiefs or Bills or Bengals or whoever. This was his chance. Fly away and leave your grounded Dad behind. It’s cool. I’ll even buy you a jersey of your choice (he was wearing a McLaurin jersey as we talked). I explained the history and why people hate Snyder. That it’s a transient demographic and isn’t same situation as Lions or Bills where the home atmosphere has stayed strong despite ineptitude. 
 

He took it all in, looked right at me and told me he’s in. He doesn’t want to bail. Feels like it’s his team and the team he wants to root for. I admire his resolve and bravery; question his decision-making. Sins of the father I suppose. 
 

So we ride together I guess. Misery loves company. I can only hope that sometime in HIS lifetime the misery lifts. 

[skins4ever28]

Yea I told my son the same thing after the crappy name change. He was so excited for “red wolves” and when it was nothing even close to that, he was depressed. I told him you can pick any team you like, just not the cowboys. He said he isn’t budging tho, and honestly I was hoping he would. I was hoping he’d like another team so I’d have an excuse to not watch Snyder continue to run down this once great franchise. I don’t know how much worse it’ll get, but I know it’ll get worse. Why did everyone I know think the wentz idea was bad, but the coaches and management thought it was a good idea? How stupid can you be?

[SkinsNumberOne]

My kids are fans and I just try to make sure they don’t spend three hours every week glued to this. It is too much of a time and life commitment when the outcome is known, and the product is not even entertaining.

 

I may be ok with watching full games with them again when Scott is gone. Right now this offense is hot garbage. It is just too much to see this level of abject incompetence.

[NickyJ]

I wrote in the past about a friend who was looking for a new football team to follow because his parents were Cincy fans and he wanted to be rebellious. I kept pressuring him to be a Cincy fan anyway. He refused. The Super Bowl run happened. He got on board a few months later. Now the Bengals are only treading water. I pleaded with him for the Bengals, or the Chargers, or even the Bills. He turned them all down... for Washington. I know it's rude for me to call someone a loser, but he's born and raised in Ohio, and he turned down the 2021 Bengals for the 2021 Football Team because I liked our defensive line and Ryan Fitzpatrick sounded fun.

 

Anyone who chooses to follow the Commies while knowing how bad they are is a saint. I'd say doing it for family is the best reason a person could have, but that's because it's the only reason. That, Gibbs II, and RGIII's single season nursed me through to where I am. Respect to anyone who can do without even those.

[hail2skins]

Great post Ed....it's been too long since we saw you here last.

 

It seems like a lot of talk around here of being completely out is a lot of bluster, as we all still at least follow the team to some degree. But for the life of me, I find it astonishing that the losses impact you as much as they did in the Gibbs 1 and Norv eras. Not just because of this sorry team, but the league in general isn't nearly what it was back then. Life is too short to feel a lot of angst over this stuff.

[Riggo-toni]

Grooming a child to be a Commies fan constitutes child abuse.

[AlwaysBeRedskins2Me]

29 minutes ago, kleese said:

It was awkward. I was hoping to avoid it a bit longer. But it was time. 
 

Last night, after I finally calmed down a little (this loss REALLY bothered me) I called my 10 year old son into our room and had “the talk.” 
 

Over the past two years or so his football fandom has drastically increased. His first love was baseball and he’s been into that for awhile; football came a little later, but it’s come on strong. He’s playing tackle this year and I’m the Coach so that has only further enhanced his love of the game in general. 
 

He is also now a Commanders fan. Kinda had no choice. Took him to his first game in Dallas last week— he loved the scene but was very disappointed with the loss. Today we watched out on the deck and he said his stomach hurt as the game wound down. He quickly walked away as it ended— he was very ready to celebrate. I stewed. 
 

As the afternoon wore on, I started to feel a tangible guilt. What am I doing to my son. I’m locked in here. I’ve made that choice. Honestly I made it around 1998 BEFORE Snyder even bought the team. That first post-Gibbs rebuild attempt was a terrible disappointing failure and those teams killed me. I think people often forget those stretch of seasons and how they helped set the table for what was to come. 
 

But I’ve stayed “in it” just as passionate as ever— the entire time. Obviously my expectation level has changed. My MOOD about the team has changed. My confidence level has bottomed out. But my personal fandom level is just like it was in 1991. No change. I don’t begrudge anyone who has bailed or who doesn’t care much any longer— but that is not the case for me. 
 

But my son is pure. He doesn’t have to be here. So I sat him down last night and told him he was free to go. Explained that this was a “save yourself” situation and that he doesn’t need to be a Washington fan just because I am. Hell, we live in Oklahoma— I told him to feel free to pick the Chiefs or Bills or Bengals or whoever. This was his chance. Fly away and leave your grounded Dad behind. It’s cool. I’ll even buy you a jersey of your choice (he was wearing a McLaurin jersey as we talked). I explained the history and why people hate Snyder. That it’s a transient demographic and isn’t same situation as Lions or Bills where the home atmosphere has stayed strong despite ineptitude. 
 

He took it all in, looked right at me and told me he’s in. He doesn’t want to bail. Feels like it’s his team and the team he wants to root for. I admire his resolve and bravery; question his decision-making. Sins of the father I suppose. 
 

So we ride together I guess. Misery loves company. I can only hope that sometime in HIS lifetime the misery lifts. 

I feel the same way you do. Luckily my daughter doesn't care a whole lot about football. She likes it but would never be in pain over losses, like me. I was in a vegetative state for about an hour after the game. We lose a lot but not usually in THOSE heartwrenching circumstances.

[SoCalSkins]

I was in Dallas with my 9 year old son as well last week. I got passes to the lounge the players walk through. Terry McLaurin gave my son his gloves, Daron Payne a headband and one of the assistants gave him a game ball. My son is all in. I feel bad but then again when they do start winning again it will be awesome. I plan to try and go with him to every stadium and see Washington by the time he graduates college. We had a blast despite the loss. 

[hail2skins]

SoCal, so cool you are doing the stadium thing with your son. Would love to hear you talk about your stadium experiences and which ones you think are the best, which ones are the worst. I know it's still a work in progress,, but still cool to hear the perspective.

[AlwaysBeRedskins2Me]

9 minutes ago, SoCalSkins said:

I was in Dallas with my 9 year old son as well last week. I got passes to the lounge the players walk through. Terry McLaurin gave my son his gloves, Daron Payne a headband and one of the assistants gave him a game ball. My son is all in. I feel bad but then again when they do start winning again it will be awesome. I plan to try and go with him to every stadium and see Washington by the time he graduates college. We had a blast despite the loss. 

Wait, we're gonna start winning again? Man I hope you're right. I'm starting to feel like the world will end before we're ever good again 😢

[NoCalMike]

I tried to have the same talk with my daughters, but could barely get them to stop playing Animal Crossing to look up and pay attention, so I guess I win!

[SoCalSkins]

7 minutes ago, AlwaysBeRedskins2Me said:

Wait, we're gonna start winning again? Man I hope you're right. I'm starting to feel like the world will end before we're ever good again 😢

It will happen. Even with Dan. The Cincinnati owner is one of the biggest cheapskates and they go to the Super Bowl. It’s gonna happen. 

[BraveWarrior]

I spent my life thinking that I would pass on my love for the Redskins to my sons if I ever had any. I have two boys now, and they barely even look at the TV when I watch football. Just not interested. Probably for the better. But if they decide to start watching, I'll tell them they should pick whatever team they like. I definitely won't try to persuade them to root for the Commodes. Breaks my heart, but I can't set them up for that kind of disappointment. 

[Csup]

Ahhh....thought I'd get some tidbits on the facts of life in this thread.

[kleese]

39 minutes ago, hail2skins said:

Great post Ed....it's been too long since we saw you here last.

 

It seems like a lot of talk around here of being completely out is a lot of bluster, as we all still at least follow the team to some degree. But for the life of me, I find it astonishing that the losses impact you as much as they did in the Gibbs 1 and Norv eras. Not just because of this sorry team, but the league in general isn't nearly what it was back then. Life is too short to feel a lot of angst over this stuff.

Yeah, the “I don’t care anymore” posts always make me chuckle a little bit. A message board dedicated to a football team is an odd place to spend your time if you don’t care about it 😁

 

Two notes from your reply: 

 

1. The “angst” is the only reason I do this. Always has been. That’s what’s on the line for me— a certain chunk of happiness/joy vs angst/frustration. If I don’t feel any of those things dependent on the outcome then it’s a pointless exercise to me. If I ever tuned in and truly didn’t care either way, I can’t imagine why I’d keep watching at all. 
 

2. I disagree on the product of the league now vs then. As a product of the 80s/90s I am of course somewhat biased to the “things were better in my day” thinking and there are certainly some aspects of the game I think were better back then. But the goal of the NFL was always to create a league of parity where everything mattered all the time. They actually failed at that back then. Just look at the NFC playoffs back in the 1980s. Blowout City. Very few close/engaging games. Absolutely dominant teams dominating. Some of that dominance was fun to watch— but 55-10 in the Super Bowl year after year got pretty old. I like the way the league is produced and marketed now and I like that it’s even more kid-friendly. 

[spjunkies]

I'd probably do the same if I had a lad. Sucks, but rooting for this franchise is painful. 

[petey hodge]

1 hour ago, kleese said:

It was awkward. I was hoping to avoid it a bit longer. But it was time. 
 

Last night, after I finally calmed down a little (this loss REALLY bothered me) I called my 10 year old son into our room and had “the talk.” 
 

Over the past two years or so his football fandom has drastically increased. His first love was baseball and he’s been into that for awhile; football came a little later, but it’s come on strong. He’s playing tackle this year and I’m the Coach so that has only further enhanced his love of the game in general. 
 

He is also now a Commanders fan. Kinda had no choice. Took him to his first game in Dallas last week— he loved the scene but was very disappointed with the loss. Today we watched out on the deck and he said his stomach hurt as the game wound down. He quickly walked away as it ended— he was very ready to celebrate. I stewed. 
 

As the afternoon wore on, I started to feel a tangible guilt. What am I doing to my son. I’m locked in here. I’ve made that choice. Honestly I made it around 1998 BEFORE Snyder even bought the team. That first post-Gibbs rebuild attempt was a terrible disappointing failure and those teams killed me. I think people often forget those stretch of seasons and how they helped set the table for what was to come. 
 

But I’ve stayed “in it” just as passionate as ever— the entire time. Obviously my expectation level has changed. My MOOD about the team has changed. My confidence level has bottomed out. But my personal fandom level is just like it was in 1991. No change. I don’t begrudge anyone who has bailed or who doesn’t care much any longer— but that is not the case for me. 
 

But my son is pure. He doesn’t have to be here. So I sat him down last night and told him he was free to go. Explained that this was a “save yourself” situation and that he doesn’t need to be a Washington fan just because I am. Hell, we live in Oklahoma— I told him to feel free to pick the Chiefs or Bills or Bengals or whoever. This was his chance. Fly away and leave your grounded Dad behind. It’s cool. I’ll even buy you a jersey of your choice (he was wearing a McLaurin jersey as we talked). I explained the history and why people hate Snyder. That it’s a transient demographic and isn’t same situation as Lions or Bills where the home atmosphere has stayed strong despite ineptitude. 
 

He took it all in, looked right at me and told me he’s in. He doesn’t want to bail. Feels like it’s his team and the team he wants to root for. I admire his resolve and bravery; question his decision-making. Sins of the father I suppose. 
 

So we ride together I guess. Misery loves company. I can only hope that sometime in HIS lifetime the misery lifts. 

[COWBOY-KILLA-]

Hahahaha I had this talk with my 8 year old a couple of weeks ago once I saw it would be one of those seasons. I said look bud, you can pick whoever you want to root for. He cares a lot so I made sure to tell him, You dont have to endure this madness, get off this awful rollercoaster now. Enjoy your Sundays! He didn’t blink when answering “hell nah, I’m in it to win it. Let’s lose the rest of our games and get the best QB available.” Lol. It was heartwarming..

[Koolblue13]

9 hours ago, Csup said:

Ahhh....thought I'd get some tidbits on the facts of life in this thread.

PM 93, he'll explain it all to you.

[Koolblue13]

9 hours ago, kleese said:

Yeah, the “I don’t care anymore” posts always make me chuckle a little bit. A message board dedicated to a football team is an odd place to spend your time if you don’t care about it 😁

 

In another thread I described this as cheering on your ex wife. You move on, but you'll always care about that loser ****, because you had such great personal times with so long ago in the beginning and just because you supported all her stupid diet, business, self improvement ideas, you knew it would never work, but you wish her the best.

 

See now, your kid, like myself, is very lucky. I'm from Philly, so it was pretty easy to dump this loser wife and marry my side chick. Being in bum **** Oklahoma (sorry about that, but at least it's not Ohio), your kid could come to know a few different teams that could subconsciously become his home town team. That way, when they finally kick Danny out, move us to London and call us the Monarchs and 5 or ten years later make a DC expansion Redwolves team or something, that can become an option again.

 

But for now, maybe pick a kinda local team and feign interest and follow them a bit more. For you and your sons sake. Don't let the poor boy grow up to follow this flushing commode.

[hail2skins]

9 hours ago, kleese said:

2. I disagree on the product of the league now vs then. As a product of the 80s/90s I am of course somewhat biased to the “things were better in my day” thinking and there are certainly some aspects of the game I think were better back then. But the goal of the NFL was always to create a league of parity where everything mattered all the time. They actually failed at that back then. Just look at the NFC playoffs back in the 1980s. Blowout City. Very few close/engaging games. Absolutely dominant teams dominating. Some of that dominance was fun to watch— but 55-10 in the Super Bowl year after year got pretty old. I like the way the league is produced and marketed now and I like that it’s even more kid-friendly. 

Understood on the parity from a salary cap era perspective, but it just seems like the league is so geared towards offense now that you have many coaches that make decisions with the mindset that their defense is completely incapable of stopping the other team's offense. I was probably one of the few people who didn't consider the regulation ending of the Chiefs-Bills playoff game last season to be the most amazing thing ever.

 

As for kid-friendliness of the league, you no doubt study that stuff more than I. I know that when our stadium opened back in 97, there was a area outside of the gates where kids could kick field goals, run through obstacle courses, put on sumo suits, etc. Of course Dan got rid of it for some more corporate hospitality BS. And this is probably wading into more general societal stuff, but even though parents have always had to deal with a certain level of BS in keeping their kids a bit sheltered, I think it has to be even more difficult these days for parents to do it like you and SoCal. Parking at FedEx this week, this guy tailgating was playing music with what I think were the most vile and disgusting lyrics I'd ever heard. I don't know if my elderly mother was paying attention, because she didn't say anything, but I felt embarrassed. To me, the dude might as well been openly waving his junk or taking a dump. Some people really don't.give.a.****.

[djpapeleta360]

I have 2 sons, one is 7 and the other is 11. I am no way making them Washington fans. My oldest always say he love the Giants just because my wife always roots for them and form New York. At first I was like o hell you are not. Now I'm just content to see him happy and not force my misery onto him. 

 

My youngest seems to like Washington but I dont have him watching games with me. When he gets older in starts really getting into football I will discourage him and tell him to follow the Chiefs or any other good franchise. 

[Redwards]

I have two sons.  Fraternal twins. Thirteen years old.

 

One has autism and doesn't comprehend football.

 

My other son is aware of what Dan Snyder is, and he's highly aware of the on-field product.  He's also been raised to absolutely know (and on his own accord - LOVE) pop culture from the 80s and 90s.  Especially movies and music.  I have Riggins' famous run from SB 17 on a beautiful, huge black and white print hanging in the game room.  Below it in individual frames are each SI cover from our SB victories.   I have helmets, tables, all sorts of great gear.  I have tons of games on DVD.  I've educated my son on who we were as a franchise off the field and what we did on it.  He has ultimate respect for THAT organization. 

 

But...he knows this is a 100% different organization now.  The previous one is extinct.  He hates the rest of the NFC East but has zero interest in the team playing in Washington.  He pities the fans and knows they've been used, abused, taken advantage of and lied to.  He knows they deserve and wants better for them.

 

Bottom line: After the first few drives of our game, my son went into my room, turned on the PS4 and played Madden.  He plays as the Redskins always.  But he would rather do that than watch the current team in Washington DC play.

 

Dan Snyder has done this to countless families and a new generation of would-be fans.  And worst of all, the man doesn't give a ****.  He doesn't care about the fans and what he's done.  He can rot for all I care.  And I hope they don't win another game until he is either forced to sell because he can't get a stadium deal (and he won't get one if he can't get the on-field product to consistently win, which is never gonna happen), he sells, or he is forced to relocate the team.  He deserves not a shred of success.  

[Cooleyfan1993]

1 hour ago, Koolblue13 said:

PM 93, he'll explain it all to you.

I will? Hmm. Did I explain the facts of life to anyone before? I don’t think I know any 

 

[hail2skins]

13 hours ago, kleese said:

Honestly I made it around 1998 BEFORE Snyder even bought the team. That first post-Gibbs rebuild attempt was a terrible disappointing failure and those teams killed me. I think people often forget those stretch of seasons and how they helped set the table for what was to come.

Just re-read the post and this........just no. The Norv years (with the possible exception of him having a son that now happens to be our OC) have ZERO to do with the crap we've gone through under overall. Did I mention that its been TWENTY THREE years now?