Jump to content
Washington Football Team Logo
Extremeskins

Random Funny ARTICLES Not Worth Their Own Thread


Jumbo
 Share

Recommended Posts

Indianapolis PD: Man was 'swinging' penis at women

 

INDIANAPOLIS - An Indianapolis man is facing charges after reportedly "swinging" his genitals at two women on the street.

 

Shawn Harvell, 34, of Indianapolis, was arrested Tuesday afternoon on charges including public indecency, resisting law enforcement, criminal confinement and battery.

 

Police said a Metro officer driving on 38th Street near Lawndale Avenue was flagged down by two women.

 

One woman, 29, told the officer that Harvell approached her on the sidewalk from behind and grabbed her by the arm.

 

The woman said the man has his penis out of his pants and was "swinging it about in a rotary helicopter motion," the police report said.

 

Click on the link for the full article

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Love Triangle Meltdown Leads To Doctor's Arrest

 

DECEMBER 5--A Texas doctor involved in a love triangle broke into the Houston home of a romantic rival and scrawled the words “Whore” and “Homewrecker” in red lipstick on a bathroom mirror, cops allege.

 

drsilerfisher.jpg

 

Angela Siler-Fisher, 42, is facing misdemeanor harassment and trespassing charges stemming from her alleged break-in Sunday at the residence of Marcelle Mallery, a 35-year-old radiologist.

 

Siler-Fisher (seen at right) is a medical director at Houston’s Ben Taub General Hospital and teaches at the Baylor College of Medicine. Her husband Brandon, 43, is a radiologist.

 

According to a criminal complaint, Brandon Fisher called Mallery to warn that his wife “was coming to her house.” Mallery told cops that she was in fear for herself and her children, so she fled the residence.

 

Mallery told investigators that she received two phone calls from Siler-Fisher as she was en route to the home. Siler-Fisher, Mallery said, warned that she “was going to beat her ****ing ass whore” and “dislocate her vagina.”

 

marcellemallery.jpg

 

Click on the link for the full article

Edited by China
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Man invites offers for wife or Harley Davidson

 

A US man whose wife told him to choose between her and his Harley Davidson motorcycle is inviting offers for either online.

Bob White, of Charles City, Virgina, posted an ad on craigslist reading: "Wife says: 'Harley goes or she goes'... Your choice. Both in excellent condition: $5,900."

 

Mr White says he will consider best offers under his target price and also trade-ins. He is also offering either a pick-up or delivery service.

His humourous ad reads: "Sportster: 2006 XL1200L Sportster in excellent condition. Wife: 1959 model year in excellent condition, considering.

"Sportster: Only 6,500 miles (less than 900 miles per year!). Wife: High Mileage.

 

"Sportster: Well maintained... and it shows - see the pictures. Wife: High maintenance - and it shows - see the pictures."

 

...

 

And he concludes: "Sportster: Come out and test ride before you buy. Wife: Don't even go there."

 

Click on the link for the full article

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Indianapolis PD: Man was 'swinging' penis at women

 

INDIANAPOLIS - An Indianapolis man is facing charges after reportedly "swinging" his genitals at two women on the street.

 

Shawn Harvell, 34, of Indianapolis, was arrested Tuesday afternoon on charges including public indecency, resisting law enforcement, criminal confinement and battery.

 

Police said a Metro officer driving on 38th Street near Lawndale Avenue was flagged down by two women.

 

One woman, 29, told the officer that Harvell approached her on the sidewalk from behind and grabbed her by the arm.

 

The woman said the man has his penis out of his pants and was "swinging it about in a rotary helicopter motion," the police report said.

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

 

i have tried this... and only been able to get myself off the groud for 2 seconds... 3 tops.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Man Leaps to His Death in Shopping Mall After Girlfriend Insists on More Shopping

 

http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/12/09/Man-Leaps-to-His-Death-in-Shopping-Mall-After-Girlfriend-Insists-on-More-Shopping

 

 

Eyewitnesses said Hsiao could be heard telling his girlfriend that they already had more bags than they could carry, but she insisted on hitting one more store where there was a sale on shoes. 

An eyewitness said: "He told her she already had enough shoes, more shoes that she could wear in a lifetime, and it was pointless buying any more. She started shouting at him, accusing him of being a skinflint, and of spoiling Christmas. It was a really heated argument."

The argument continued until Hsiao threw the bags on the floor and himself over the balcony, dropping seven stories to his death and smashing Christmas decorations on the way down. He was killed on impact. 

A spokesman for the mall said: "His body was removed fairly quickly. He actually landed on one of the stalls below and then fell to the floor so although the store was damaged it meant he didn't hit anybody.

"This is a tragic incident, but this time of year can be very stressful for many people."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People in Florida are nuts, everyone knows ya ca't get more than a Tallboy for a 4 ft'r

 

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ODD_ALLIGATOR_BEER_TRADE?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

 

MIAMI (AP) -- Florida wildlife officials say a man tried to trade a live alligator for beer at a Miami convenience store.

State Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Jorge Pino says the man received a citation for illegally capturing and trying to sell the gator.

Pino tells WTVJ-TV (HTTP://BIT.LY/18THIJ3 ) that the man trapped the 4-foot-long gator at a nearby park and brought it to the store Dec. 10. When he proposed to trade the animal for a 12-pack of beer, the store clerk called authorities.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dog adopts baby armadillos

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ8Nq_7w4FI#t=85

 

A dog had adopted two orphaned baby armadillos in Brazil.

 

Dina Alves says her husband found the armadillors after their mother was killed by a tractor in a sugar cane field.

 

He adopted the little creatures, took them to his home in the southern Brazilian town of Guaporema and began feeding them cow's milk.

 

But to his surprise his pet dog Faisca became instantly attached to the armadillos and began producing her own milk to nurse them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Iceland's Hidden Elves Delay Road Projects

 

In this land of fire and ice, where the fog-shrouded lava fields offer a spooky landscape in which anything might lurk, stories abound of the "hidden folk" — thousands of elves, making their homes in Iceland's wilderness.

 

So perhaps it was only a matter of time before 21st-century elves got political representation.

 

Elf advocates have joined forces with environmentalists to urge the Icelandic Road and Coastal Commission and local authorities to abandon a highway project building a direct route from the Alftanes peninsula, where the president has a home, to the Reykjavik suburb of Gardabaer. They fear disturbing elf habitat and claim the area is particularly important because it contains an elf church.

 

The project has been halted until the Supreme Court of Iceland rules on a case brought by a group known as Friends of Lava, who cite both the environmental and the cultural impact — including the impact on elves — of the road project. The group has regularly brought hundreds of people out to block the bulldozers.

 

And it's not the first time issues about "Huldufolk," Icelandic for "hidden folk," have affected planning decisions.

 

They occur so often that the road and coastal administration has come up with a stock media response for elf inquiries, which states that "issues have been settled by delaying the construction project at a certain point while the elves living there have supposedly moved on."

 

Scandinavian folklore is full of elves, trolls and other mythological characters. Most people in Norway, Denmark and Sweden haven't taken them seriously since the 19th century, but elves are no joke to many in Iceland, population 320,000.

 

A survey conducted by the University of Iceland in 2007 found that 62 percent of the 1,000 respondents thought it was at least possible that elves exist.

 

Click on the link for the full article

Edited by China
Link to comment
Share on other sites

And on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me... a drunk woman pissing on my car!

 

HPD: Woman urinates on car at north Houston hotel on Christmas Day

 

 

HOUSTON – Christmas Day took a very strange turn when an intoxicated woman engaged in a strange outburst at a north Houston hotel.
According to HPD, Leslie Calvillo had been screaming loudly in the lobby of the Wingate hotel and she had even punched a woman in the face. Officers said she went in the parking lot and started urinating on someone's car.
 
Click on the link for the full article
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?

 

As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity.

Sorted by orifice, working south:

 

Ear:
SEED
PAINTBRUSH
"SOME BALLS"
PATIENT TOLD PARENTS THAT THE CATS STUCK SOMETHING IN HER EAR
GASOLINE
BUTTERFLY


Nose:

EAR PLUG
CRAYON
PLASTIC EYEBALL
MULCH
"PLACED A BEAD IN HER NOSTRIL, PATIENT HAS NO COMPLAINTS"

 

Throat:
WHISTLE
ENGAGEMENT RING
A TACO
BALL OF STRING
A BEE

 

Penis:
PENIS PLUG
20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS
DICE
FISHTANK AIRHOSE
SEWING NEEDLE
BB PELLET
PLASTIC PIPE, DENTAL FLOSS WITH BEADS
EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS "TO PLEASE THE LADIES"

 

Vagina:
GLUE STICK
BARRETTE
SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR–"IT'S STILL ON"
"LONG BLACK OBJECT"
RIVET
"WORMS COMING OUT OF PEE-PEE"—PINWORMS
PLASTIC BOTTLE OF CREAM (LID STILL ON)
NAPKINS IN VAGINA TO HAVE SEX DURING PERIOD

 

Rectum:
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
SODA CAN
SODA BOTTLE
FLASHLIGHT
SHOT GLASS (BROKEN)
ICE PACK
"PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH"
VIBRATOR BATTERY
"BIG PURPLE DILDO"
"PATIENT STATES HE GOT DRUNK AND PASSED OUT AT GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE, AWOKE WITH SPOONS AND DILDOS IN RECTUM"
TOY SUBMARINE
POOL BALL
LIT BOTTLE ROCKET; "IT DIDN'T GO WELL"

 

Click on the link for the full list

Edited by China
Link to comment
Share on other sites

the lit bottle rocket is always a crowd favorite.

Ore. man on meth fights off 12 cops while masturbating in bar

Andrew Frey, 37, told police he didn't recall the bizarre series of events because he'd used meth the day before

http://www.policeone.com/bizarre/articles/6693951-Ore-man-on-meth-fights-off-12-cops-while-masturbating-in-bar/

It took a Taser and more than a dozen officers on Sunday to finally subdue Andrew Frey inside Iggy's Bar & Grill on Portland Road Northeast, the Marion County Sheriff's office said.

The 37-year-old man later told authorities he had used methamphetamine the day before and had no recollection of the alleged wild behavior, according to officials.

A bartender told authorities that Frey exposed his genitals and started masturbating at the bar, officials said. By the time a Marion County deputy arrived on scene, Frey had moved from the bar to the bathroom, but reportedly had not stopped pleasuring himself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welp...

 

 

Deer Redefines "Wrong Place, Wrong Time," Jumps Into Zoo's Cheetah Cage

 

A deer re-defined "wrong place, wrong time" Friday when it jumped into an enclosure at the Smithsonian National Zoo that houses two young cheetahs.

 

The result was, sadly for the deer, predictable.

 

Zoo officials say the white-tailed deer was killed by the cheetahs after it apparently jumped into their enclosure on Friday. A spokeswoman calls it "a normal and expected reaction'' by the carnivorous big cats.

 

The zoo says a zookeeper heard noises from the cheetah pen shortly before noon and found the deer carcass next the cheetah siblings, named Carmelita and Justin.

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Deer-Jumps-Into-Exactly-the-Wrong-Place-237679891.html?_osource=SocialFlowFB_DCBrand

Edited by DCranon21
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ice Breaker Gets Stuck Trying to Rescue Global Warming Scientists Trapped in Antarctic Ice

South Pole weather has stymied a rescue by a Chinese icebreaker trying to reach an expedition vessel trapped for the past four days in frozen seas, a ship officer told CNN Friday.

The Chinese icebreaker Xue Long, or Snow Dragon, was just six nautical miles away from the rescue, but now it’s stuck in an Antarctica ice floe, too.

The Chinese crew is hoping a French icebreaker 14 nautical miles away will arrive and offer relief, said Zhu Li, chief officer of the Chinese ship.

But it’s likely the French vessel Astrolabe will also be slowed by the polar cap’s extreme frigidity, Zhu said.

Those two icebreakers — plus a third, from Australia — were battling the planet’s coldest environment in trying to reach the stranded Russian ship MV Akademik Shokalskiy, whose 74 researchers, crew and tourists remained in good condition despite being at a frozen standstill since Monday.

It all shows that some lands — especially the ends of the Earth — will never be tamed.

The Snow Dragon is in near-constant communication with the Russian exploration vessel and has ample supplies of water, food and medicine — even a helicopter — if the ice-bound Shokalskiy needed them, Zhu said.

The Russian expedition ship is carrying scientists and passengers led by an Australian climate change professor, but they all may have to wait two more days for one or all three icebreakers to free it, said Capt. Wang Jiangzhong of the Snow Dragon…

…The expedition is trying to update scientific measurements taken by an Australian expedition led by Douglas Mawson that set out in 1911.

The expedition to gauge the effects of climate change on the region began November 27. The second, and current leg of the trip, started December 8 and was scheduled to conclude with a return to New Zealand on January 4.

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2013/12/rescue-ice-breaker-now-stuck-global-warming-scientists-trapped-in-antarctica/

http://www.aysor.am/en/news/2013/12/28/antarctic-ice-breaker/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Speaking of Russian expeditions . . . saw this today on Today with Matt Lauer:

 

Retired Olympic figure skater Brian Boitano is a private person, but joining the U.S. delegation in Sochi led to a very public decision.

 

The 1988 gold medalist released a statement on Dec. 19 announcing that he is gay, only days after President Barack Obama named him to the Olympic delegation, where he joined two openly gay athletes, tennis legend Billie Jean King and ice hockey player Caitlin Cahow. They will represent the U.S. amid controversy over Russia passing a law in June making “propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations to minors” illegal.

 

 

http://www.today.com/sochi/brian-boitano-coming-out-i-had-go-past-my-comfort-2D11838114

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dogs poop in line with Earth’s magnetic field, says study

 

A study published this week in the journal Frontiers in Zoology suggests that dogs choose to relieve themselves along a north-south axis in line with Earth’s magnetic field. The Motherboard blog reported on the study’s findings, saying that the research was carried out by a team of Czech and German scientists.

 

“Dogs are sensitive to small variations of the Earth’s magnetic field,” said the research team. “Dogs preferred to excrete with the body being aligned along the North-south axis” rather than the East-west axis.

 

The study examined the daily habits of 70 dogs during 1,893 defecations and 5,582 urinations over the course of two years. Consistently, during times of calm electromagnetic “weather,” the dogs chose to eliminate while facing north or south.

 

Click on the link for the full article

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^^Nasty. The opn bins of rice & raw meat are welcoming the next victim of hepatitis A, B, C, & D.

all it takes is one Hep positive person to not wipe, get that chip of **** on their finger then dip it into the rice.....

 

Disgusting place to live if you ask me.  Yeah, I want to buy my meat hanging up at stands, or in walmart there, just like a new settlement without technology to make sure its safe.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

all it takes is one Hep positive person to not wipe, get that chip of **** on their finger then dip it into the rice.....

 

Disgusting place to live if you ask me.  Yeah, I want to buy my meat hanging up at stands, or in walmart there, just like a new settlement without technology to make sure its safe.  

 

The rice would be safer than many products, the heat needed to cook it would destroy the virus.

better to be concerned with produce and already cooked goods.

 Open bins of rice and beans are common in the US

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...