Quiting Alcohol

[frostyj]

You have taken a first large step. Try seeking counsling, and/or AA, not just AA cause its not for everyone. You have realized your issue and are willing to deal with it. A great support group(family/friends/activities) is the best thing you can have. As far as the DT's be strong and it will pass in a few days. Get involed with other things. Good luck!

[renaissance]

Good luck man. It sounds like you know what you need to do and you have the support of your family which is the most important part.

My grandfather was an alcoholic. I never got to meet him.

[wskin44]

:dallasuck

I know. I know.

Better look elsewhere for advice.

[thebluefood]

It's the right thing to do, man. Alcoholism runs in my family, too; which is why I've chosen a teetotaling lifestyle for myself. I'm sure it will be rough and you may miss some things, but in the long run, it will make life so much better for you and the people around you.

Godspeed!

[MikeInJc aka M.I.A.]

WVU, I've been sober for over two months now and I will be completely honest that the first two weeks were the hardest. I had to quit for a medical reason, but I was drinking fairly heavily, especially since I got a kegerator and it was readily available without having to leave the house.

I still occassionally "want" a beer with dinner or just a social beer, but I just know I can't and I'm fine with that. I'm able to go out with friends and drink soda, tea, or water and not have to drink. If you decide to go sober you should tell the people you used to drink with and friends immediately of your intentions not to drink so they won't be asking you to go drink with them. That's the hardest part is having people say "Can't you just have one beer?" or wanting you to go out without realizing the position you are in. If they are true friends they will care and support you.

Try to focus on things that don't involve alcohol, like exercise, yard work, playing sports, computer/video games, etc.

Also look at it from a health/family perspective. Everytime you want to have a drink just think of where you want to be in life. If you want kids just think to yourself "I want to watch my kids grow up to get married and have kids of their own." If you keep drinking the way you are you could be drinking yourself into an early grave and risk not seeing the things in life you wanted to see, experience, and be around for.

Take care of yourself and give me a PM if you need to talk.

[WVUforREDSKINS]

I have a pretty good group of friends and if I were to say that I was not drinking anymore, I really don't think it would matter to them.

Still, thanks Mike.

[brandymac27]

Hi WVU. Sounds like you've spent a lot of time with self-reflection while overseas. While I'm sorry to hear of your problem, I have a lot of respect for you for addressing the issue head on.

I don't know much about substance abuse rehab, etc., but I suspect your anxiety is very much related to your drinking. At this point, now that you are suffering physical withdrawl symptoms as well, I'm not so sure if it's wise that you try to go cold turkey while you are not under the direct supervision of a health professional. Masking some of the psychological effects with benzodiazepines might not be too good an idea either, at least without oversight of a health professional. Again, I am not very knowledgeable about this whole issue, but those two things just strike me as not so good ideas.

The biggest thing I want to say is good luck dude. I know there are some member on this site who have gone through similar circumstances that you might be able to lean on for some support. I'm glad to hear your family is being supportive of this as well. Anyway, best wishes.

This post took the words right out of my mouth. Not sure you should just quit cold turkey w/ out med supervision if you are feeling physical withdrawals. And as someone who takes benzo's (Klonopin) regularly for an anxiety disorder and bi polar disorder, I do not recommend using them to mask the withdrawals unless a physician recommends it of course. Benzo's can be very addictive as well and you build a tolerance FAST. You might end up subbing one addiction for another, unless a doctor recommends you use them and are under their supervision.

I recommend you find a place right now where you can get help. There are a lot of substance abuse centers here in the states that offer free medical and psychological treatment. I would check around to see if there are places like this in Australia. Start there, and when you come back to the states just pick up where you left off. Many of these places offer free services for substance abuse.

The biggest thing is that you recognize you may have a problem. Don't be afraid to get the help you need. And good luck to you. Coming on here and telling your story takes a lot of courage, so I have no doubt that you can beat this. Just take things one day at a time!

Again, Good luck!

[Mad Mike]

If I may suggest...

From the sound of things, quitting cold is the best thing for you right now. If that means staying away from the parties for a while do it. There are two kinds of addiction. One is the physical need for the substance, the other is the habit or routine. You need to consider both.

As far as the detox goes, it may feel like hell but the danger is in continuing to drink, quitting is what will save your life. The light at the end of the tunnel is that sobriety can be a high all it's own.

Good luck.

[Zguy28]

One principle that I have found helpful in problem areas of my life is "radical amputation." Its the old teaching of Jesus about "if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out" type of thing. If you realize that you are weak when it comes to self-control around alcohol, then you need to remove yourself from anything that will tempt you to drink until such a time (if ever!) as you can control your urges. So no more parties for a while! It may suck in the short term, but life is a marathon, not a sprint, and you want to make it to the end.

I used to have a problem with pornography, a major problem. It almost destroyed my marriage early on. I was able to rid it from my home and my life for the most part, but found that it was waiting on the internet or in my hotel room when I traveled for work. So I had to radically amputate it. When I travel, I have the hotel block it from my TV as soon as I check in. If they can't I will go so far as to remove the TV physically from the room (this causes quite a scene ). At home I have a filter installed on the PC that only my wife has the override password for. This way I am not tempted when I am alone and weakest.

You can do it. :grouphug:

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Hey Zguy28 is your wife still singing?

I remember when you posted her songs. She was pretty good.

[CrabR]

My advice is New playgrounds and new playmates

when i stopped i gve up my friends and places i drank. I replaced it with AA and service work. After 2 years i rejoined a softball team with my old buddies. Although i still continued AA and volunteer work.

I had reached a point where i could handle being around other drinkers again

[dfitzo53]

With regards to AA, misery loves company. Maybe I went to bad meetings, but for the most part, I left thinking "wow, these people are miserable beyond belief." At the same time I was also thinking "good for them for getting sober."

I don't like how people in AA (not all but many) seem to trade in their alcohol for meetings, coffee, and second hand smoke. It seems like many are either gonna be addicted to alcohol or addicted to meetings. Netiher are healthy IMO.

I think you should consider giving AA another shot.

I've only been to one AA meeting, but I'm in another recovery fellowship strongly based on AA. There are a lot of people at the meetings who don't "get it" and never really manage to stay sober. There are others though who have come from situations worse than yours who have stayed sober for years.

You won't get much out of the meetings if you spend them comparing yourself to everyone else in there. I don't say that to lecture you or talk down to you; it's a problem I went through early in my recovery too.

Have you read the book Alcoholics Anonymous? If not, you might want to pick it up and read through it. If it makes sense to you, try a meeting again.

If it doesn't, maybe look into counseling. I would actually recommend that whether you join AA or not. Whatever approach you take, I wish you the best. You have identified a problem and been willing to admit it, which takes a lot of guts.

[Zguy28]

Hey Zguy28 is your wife still singing?

I remember when you posted her songs. She was pretty good.

She sings for our church, but I don't remember posting any recordings on ES. She's an alto, not soprano so she normally sings harmony as part of the trio, not melody. Sometimes I have a bad memory. :whoknows:

But, she thanks you for the compliment all the same.

[SkinsFTW]

If I may suggest...

From the sound of things, quitting cold is the best thing for you right now. If that means staying away from the parties for a while do it. There are two kinds of addiction. One is the physical need for the substance, the other is the habit or routine. You need to consider both.

As far as the detox goes, it may feel like hell but the danger is in continuing to drink, quitting is what will save your life. The light at the end of the tunnel is that sobriety can be a high all it's own.

Good luck.

This is probably the way to go, not only for you but for me as well, lol.

My story is somewhat similar. Just got back from over seas in Japan. Was there for about 10 years. Wife is Japanese. She has bugged me for years about drinking but always lets me, probably because she knows that I am going to buy it anyway. She can't figure out why 6 isn't enough. She agrees that I can drink 6 but it would be easier not to drink at all than to stop at 6, know what I mean? (In Japan there are beer machines on the sidewalks, one was right in front of my house which made it too easy. Literally a fridge full of beer on the sidewalk in front of my house, fully stocked 24/7.) Haha.

The one thing I realize now that I'm back in the US is that I can go indefinitely without drinking because my govt. job here takes me away for weeks at a time where there is no alcohol available at all. If I eat all the meals provided and bring snacks to eat at night and drink the free kool aid and coffee all day I don't one single time think about drinking.

My drinking seems to be just the routine type and also seems to be hunger related because if I go home and my wife makes early dinner I won't want a drink until later at night but if she doesn't cook and I don't either then I feel like I have no choice but to go out and get a 12 pack at 5-6PM and start downing it. In fact, I won't even eat the food she cooks later so I can continue drinking even though usually if I stop and eat I'll not want any more alcohol.

So I'm with you 100% on the once you start you can't stop deal. Almost all of my drinking is done at home though because my wife doesn't like going out much. At a restaurant or something I can have 1-3 and be good because there is food.

Anyway, good luck with it. I think the quitting 100% and it not even being an option at all is the way to go. It is what I am going to attempt to do. Trying to rationalize 1-2 drinks with dinner will later just mean more binging, IMO.

[PCS]

Quit drinking a number of times over the years myself. The longest being nearly 3 years back in the early to mid 90's. My last year of full time bartending was spent sober. I know how tough it can be to stop. Recently decided to slow things down considerably. This came back in January when I re-evaluated my life's priorities. That right there can make the decision a bit easier. Always keep those in mind. Write them down if you have to,but remember your life's priorities. It can keep things in perspective as well. These days,if I have a beer,it's because I want one,not because I need one. That was one of the toughest admissions I had to make right there. Made the decision to slow down,(probably one day stop),that much easier and so far,has made it easier to continue to move on with life without really drinking.

In your case,this is flat out stopping and that is to be commended right there. You've just went through the toughest part believe it or not. Now it's just a matter continuing to do so. Just keep those priorities and mind,follow some of the outstanding advice you've been given so far,and keep us here in mind as you go through all this and you'll be fine.

Funny story. Almost sad. First guy who I ever saw die,(I was front row center),was an alcoholic who didn't listen to the doctor when he was told not to have another drink. After this particular incident,my first reaction was to............go buy a 6 pack. :dunce:

[DeanCollins]

With regards to AA, misery loves company. Maybe I went to bad meetings, but for the most part, I left thinking "wow, these people are miserable beyond belief." At the same time I was also thinking "good for them for getting sober."

I don't like how people in AA (not all but many) seem to trade in their alcohol for meetings, coffee, and second hand smoke. It seems like many are either gonna be addicted to alcohol or addicted to meetings. Netiher are healthy IMO.

WVU, I was right were your out at age 27. My son was just born and I'd had enough. I went to AA and felt similarly to the way you do. I thought that most of those people were far sicker than I was and I surely didn't need to work all 12 steps to beat this addiction. I did it my way for 2 years and never got to 90 days sober. A series of unfortunate incidents occurred that got my attention, humbled me, and led me to the conclusion that I was at least as sick (as those people in the meetings) if not sicker. I've been continuously clean and sober for over two decades now. I quit smoking cigs at the same time. I'm about as goal oriented a person as you'll every find, and I needed help getting sober. With or without help, less than 1 in 20 alcoholics, that Want to get sober ever do. Do you feel lucky? With that said, I wouldn't turn your back on help. Your perception of AA is a bit stereotypical and truly antiquated, as most (if not all) meetings are non smoking. I'm neither addicted to meetings, nor do I drink coffee and haven't smoked for 21 years, but I do maintain my long time friendships with the people that I got sober with. I've been all around the world with several of them, most of us are self employed and do very well. I still get to about a dozen or so meetings a year and participate on an AA message board. Not many people (outside of those that have recovered from Alcoholism) truly understand the depth and breadth of this disease. It's the only disease that tells the sufferer that they don't have a disease. I wish you the best of luck and will help you any way that I can. Here's a few links for you. You can read the "Big Book" of AA here for free (highly recommended). http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

Here's an AA message board that I enjoy. There's a lot knowledgeable (and nice) folks there that will answer questions you have. http://aa.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42735

Here's something you may be up against, while trying to stay sober.

Post acute withdraw syndrome. It affected me for about 6-9 months after my last drink. This is from a great book called Staying Sober, by Terri Gosrki. http://www.amazon.com/Staying-Sober-Guide-Relapse-Prevention/dp/083090459X

PAWS- http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Yep, thanks Dean.

I actually joined a message board a couple years ago (sober recovery) as I have been aware that I have a problem for some time now. I have read the big book and I own a copy. I see myself in a lot of the pages, especially the stories.

When I have quit before (bout 60 days) PAWS was pretty bad. For the most part, I was just always irritated and pissed off. The worst part was the brain fog. I couldn't think straight and my head just felt really heavy. I know that many people have brain fog when going through PAWS. They all say that it lifts with time, and I believe them.

[youngestson]

WVU, I am afraid I have nothing profound to add to this but I do want to wish you well and for a fresh start to your life.

[Sticksboi05]

Good luck man but remember, drinking is OK in moderation. If you can get that down you'll have the best of both worlds.

Another thing to remember about things like this is, others can help you but it won't work unless you truly want to make it work.

[Skin'Em84]

I used to have a problem with pornography, a major problem....

...So I had to radically amputate it.

Sorry to poke fun of your struggles with addiction, but I figure this may bring some smiles to the thread and lighten the mood a bit.

Good Luck WVU

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Sorry to poke fun of your struggles with addiction' date=' but I figure this may bring some smiles to the thread and lighten the mood a bit.

[/quote']

:ols:

[DeanCollins]

Yep, thanks Dean.

I actually joined a message board a couple years ago (sober recovery) as I have been aware that I have a problem for some time now. I have read the big book and I own a copy. I see myself in a lot of the pages, especially the stories.

When I have quit before (bout 60 days) PAWS was pretty bad. For the most part, I was just always irritated and pissed off. The worst part was the brain fog. I couldn't think straight and my head just felt really heavy. I know that many people have brain fog when going through PAWS. They all say that it lifts with time, and I believe them.

WVU, It really takes time to get through that stuff and it's tuff. I remember not having what you'd call "a good day" for about the first 6 weeks sober, and it was another month till I had a few "good days" in one week. I finally had success (continuous sobriety) after doing "90 meetings in 90 days" in getting past 3 months. Once I got past 90 days of sobriety, it got a lot easier, ditto with 6 months and a year. You really have to be committed to achieving it. But just not drinking isn't what sobriety is about, it's just the entrance fee to changing how one processes life on life's terms, instead of our terms. Without this psychic and spiritual change, an alcoholic, who is merely abstaining from drinking will be miserable at best.

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

Personally, I didn't stop drinking heavily by going cold turkey. Instead of spending 20 bucks for a 12 pack and a bottle of liquor, I spend 20 bucks for two or three bottles of craft brewed beers. Instead of making my goal getting drunk, I make my goal searching out the finest craft brews there are. The buzz I get (and that's all I can really get from the things) is just a perk from the entire experience. You get your buzz, you taste something that was designed by the best brewers on the planet, and you feel too guilty spending more money on alcohol.

But I'm only speaking for myself...it worked. I rarely ever get drunk anymore. If you go cold turkey, you are a brave and incredibly strong willed guy. Don't let the anxiety bring you down, it's not permanent, fight it, stick it out, it will go away.

[WVUforREDSKINS]

I saw this a couple years ago and for some reason this makes me pretty emotional and at the same time gives me motivation.

Craig Ferguson speaks from the heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bbaRyDLMvA

[757SeanTaylor21]

i tell you what bro. i gave up drinkin and smokin weed, cigs and cigars just cold turkey all. now im not sayin thats the way to go cause its really hard to do it but honestly as you proceed to quit you gotta think of what you do that makes you wanna drink. if its going out and just wantin to get hammered, instead of going out to a bar go see a movie. my father suffers from alcoholism, i gotta best friend who is getting there and honestly its sad. my dad is a complete mess and been in the hospital a few times for liver and heart problems. best friend just drinks to drink and can drink a whole case without gettin drunk. my reason to quit doing everything was giving up my life to God and bro, anything is possible. if you REALLY wanna stop, just tell yourself no. your mind controls every action you do, when you touch a hot burner..your mind is what sends the signal to pull back. you have the power to control that anxiety, that nervousness. you can do exactly what you wanna do and your on the right road to getting better.