Quiting Alcohol

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Hey all,

First off this is a serious thead, so I ask that there be no sarcastic comments.

I have come to the realization that I have a substance abuse problem that needs to be addressed. By that, I mean I am gonna have to give it up completely. Not gonna lie, I am scared.

Early sobriety kinda scares the **** outta me. I have been binge drinking since I was about 16. I have had some great times with friends while drinking. That has slowly changed. I am starting to feel the effects of withdrawl. I sweat, shake, and have extreme anxiety after a night of drinking. I have hit that point where the withdrawl feelings are so bad that drinking is the only thing that seems to make it better. Vicious Cycle.

The only times I have ever been in trouble with the law, the root cause was alcohol. Thankfully, I have no felonies.

I am probably gonna come back to the states in a month and go to rehab. I talked with my mom today and she fully supports it. Her father was an alcoholic who did get sober and stayed sober after years of drinking.

I know there are a few people on this board who got sober, so I might have a bunch of questions. So I hope I can ask those who have been in my position.

had my first drink when I was 15. Loved it.I was never an anxious or nervous kid, quite the opposite in fact. I was very outgoing, charming, and popular. At 16 I was drinking with friends on the weekends.

At 18, I started to feel different. More anxious, nervous, and unsure of myself. I didn't know what was going on. I smoked weed, a lot of it. At 18 weed was now having the opposite affect on me. Still not sure why this was (possibly related to a bad trip, is my guess). Anyway, weed was making me super anxious and nervous.

Anyway, I went off to college and was drinking about 3 nights a week. Next year, I joined a Fraternity and was drinking about 4 nights a week. I was feeling very unsure of myself when I wasn't drinking. Also, the hangovers were becoming a lot worse and lasting longer.

I graduated and then came back home to VA. I drank heavily on the weekends. I have been in front of a judge three times for alcohol related offenses. One time required 24 hours in jail. I went to AA and manged to go everyday for a lil over 30 days. That is when I went on vacation and had a drink. I have been drinking ever since. Mostly just on the weekends, but pretty much blacking out and passing out. I have never really had a serious job, just internships, temp jobs, and being a waiter. With the economy killing all career opportunites for most people just out of college, I decided I to get a visa and head down under for a lil while since I had never studied abroad and it is something that I always wanted to do.

I have been here for 8 months and my drinking as really taken off, I have been drinking everyday. I am 26 years old and desire to be a social drinker, although when I look at my history, there is nothing that says I can ever be a social drinker. I have never even tried it. I just wanna get flat out hammered drunk when I drink. I don't think I can quit entirely right now. Not while im away and living in a country and with people who pretty much all drink.

I am scared to detox though. Since I have been drinking so much I don't know if I might actually need medical supervision. I don't know what to do because I am in a foreign country and I am not part of their national health care since I am not a citizen.I plan to just take it as it comes starting sunday and I do have some benzos I can take if it gets to bad. I know im gonna have to quit completely, as I seem to have most if not all of the symptoms of an alcoholic. I just don't know if I can do it now.

[HRNY4ZRNY]

The right thing is usually the hardest thing to do. You can do it, become addicted to things that are good for you.

[Major Harris]

good luck my man. you're taking the most important, and most difficult step right now. i'm rooting for you. i lost a good friend to alcholism, not dead just to the point i have no interest in having any communication with the dude.

[HRNY4ZRNY]

good luck my man. you're taking the most important, and most difficult step right now. i'm rooting for you. i lost a good friend to alcholism, not dead just to the point i have no interest in having any communication with the dude.

Same with me, one of my good friends drank every chance he got. Its fun at first but then after awhile you get sick of being around them cause they are dragging you down.

[Mr. S]

For me it matters more about the attitude you carry while drinking. If you are drinking out of boredom or cause you have nothing better to do, stop. That's just as bad as drinking to drown your sorrows. In your case, you just seem to be drinking heavily for the sake of dirnking. Again, stop.

I was drinking a lot claiming it was out of boredom. I finally worked on myself to be a happier person, and have felt better as a result. That entailed cutting back on my drinking. I typically now do only drink socially. If I drink heavily, i'm usually surrounded by a lot of friends in a very fun environment.

Ideally, I want to cut back even more. Right now though, it's almost graduation and I'm walking out of law school, so may as well enjoy my last few days with my friends here before heading back home to northern va. I seriously think I will cut back even more. I have proven to myself I can go two weeks w/o a drink, so I know I'm not addicted or anything.

Again, I just think it's all about the attitude. When you have the proper attitude (hanging out, enjoying your friends, having fun), just follow the lead of the night. If everyone else is getting hammered, you probably will too, but it will be fun. If everyone else is not getting hammered, chances are you won't either. It does suck being that guy that goes even farther than everyone else, but I've been that person before and have lost friends as a result. Granted the loss wasn't too bad, but I hated having that label for a while.

[Koala]

The trick is to still go out, still have fun with your friends. Yes, at times, you feel a little retarded sipping on a coke, but you'll get over that. You'll notice that you'll wanna call it a night earlier than your friends do, so I suggest making your own arrangements for transportation. You can still have fun tho, and if you're a guy its actually really really amusing talking to drunk girls -- if youve ever been the type to have any kind of anxiety talking to women, itll disappear when you hear the retarded things that come out of their mouths when they are tipsy or drunk. I tease them mercilessly for their drunk idiocy, and theyre too tipsy to come up with comebacks. Pure fun, I tell ya. Just dont be the ******* that takes advantage of them.

[WVUforREDSKINS]

Couple things Mr S.

I find that when I drink a beer, I want more and more. Social drinking is fun, I like the buzz and let down in inahibtions, but I don't like stopping after that feeling. Its ****ed up, but I have really never seen the point of drinking if you aren't going to get wasted. That said, I can go out and have just one or two drinks. I have done it many times, mostly when I take girls out to dinner.

I just hope that I can lose the desire to drink...that will probably be the hardest part for me. I understand it takes a while, too.

[WVUforREDSKINS]

The trick is to still go out, still have fun with your friends. Yes, at times, you feel a little retarded sipping on a coke, but you'll get over that. You'll notice that you'll wanna call it a night earlier than your friends do, so I suggest making your own arrangements for transportation. You can still have fun tho, and if you're a guy its actually really really amusing talking to drunk girls -- if youve ever been the type to have any kind of anxiety talking to women, itll disappear when you hear the retarded things that come out of their mouths when they are tipsy or drunk. I tease them mercilessly for their drunk idiocy, and theyre too tipsy to come up with comebacks. Pure fun, I tell ya. Just dont be the ******* that takes advantage of them.

Its strange because I only feel anxiety for a few days....then im fine.

Say I drink on fri and Sat....it will take me until thurs to feel ok. I think my anxiety is a direct result of my drinking. But I have no way of knowing that for sure right now.

[dockeryfan]

It sounds like you are both determined and scared. This is a good thing. You should be scared, because it'll be hard.

But try to focus on why you are doing this. Make a list of reasons why you want to. Health, relationships, emotional development, whatever. Everybody's list is different. But do this.

Write it down. Post it on the wall. Look at it every time you feel a reason to go back to having "just one drink" or "just one night out". Keep your focus, or do the best you can to try to keep your focus.

Also, I do not think people should do this alone. I know people have their problems with AA, but in the end it is very supportive, and that's exactly what it should be. Try it.

[zoony]

Good luck to you, I wish you all the best as you work thru this

[wskin44]

I also have issues with drinking. My approach is one that you might try to create space between yourself and alchohol. Over the last 6 months I've tried to reduce the number of days that I drink. It took a long time to reconcile myself to the fact that once I start I don't stop, so instead of trying to limit myself to one or two, I try to limit how many days I drink at all. Keep an honest count. Pick a day and just don't start drinking that day. Keep plenty of other favorite beverages around. See how many days in a row you didn't drink (my record is eight). I was averaging five to six days a week drinking before I started. Now I'm down to one to two days. Huge improvement in all aspects of my life. Just try it for a day. Don't let the other days get you down. Keep score by the week. If you currently are drinking seven days a week then see six as a success. Do not let alcohol defeat you.

[Monk81skins]

I'm pretty sure that your anxiety is a result of your drinking. You will feel better when you quit. The key is realizing these things, which I think you do.

[WVUforREDSKINS]

I also have issues with drinking. My approach is one that you might try to create space between yourself and alchohol. Over the last 6 months I've tried to reduce the number of days that I drink. It took a long time to reconcile myself to the fact that once I start I don't stop, so instead of trying to limit myself to one or two, I try to limit how many days I drink at all. Keep an honest count. Pick a day and just don't start drinking that day. Keep plenty of other favorite beverages around. See how many days in a row you didn't drink (my record is eight). I was averaging five to six days a week drinking before I started. Now I'm down to one to two days. Huge improvement in all aspects of my life. Just try it for a day. Don't let the other days get you down. Keep score by the week. If you currently are drinking seven days a week then see six as a success. Do not let alcohol defeat you.

I've always been a pretty goal oriented person. However, when it comes to alcohol, I seem to always lose. I have never understood why some people have just one beer with dinner. I'd rather have a coke than just one beer.

I think I am one of those all or nothing types. Maybe I could learn to control it, maybe it would be eaisier to give it all up.

With regards to AA, misery loves company. Maybe I went to bad meetings, but for the most part, I left thinking "wow, these people are miserable beyond belief." At the same time I was also thinking "good for them for getting sober."

I don't like how people in AA (not all but many) seem to trade in their alcohol for meetings, coffee, and second hand smoke. It seems like many are either gonna be addicted to alcohol or addicted to meetings. Netiher are healthy IMO.

[twa]

It's good you recognize a problem,my best to you in the effort to address it

[WVUforREDSKINS]

I'm pretty sure that your anxiety is a result of your drinking. You will feel better when you quit. The key is realizing these things, which I think you do.

I think it is too.

I never got drunk to drown my sorrows or anything like that. Its when I am feeling good that I wanna go out and get hammered. And the next few days are pure hell

[Major Harris]

It seems like many are either gonna be addicted to alcohol or addicted to meetings. Netiher are healthy IMO.

that's rationalizing. you know which one is worse.

[Special K]

Hi WVU. Sounds like you've spent a lot of time with self-reflection while overseas. While I'm sorry to hear of your problem, I have a lot of respect for you for addressing the issue head on.

I don't know much about substance abuse rehab, etc., but I suspect your anxiety is very much related to your drinking. At this point, now that you are suffering physical withdrawl symptoms as well, I'm not so sure if it's wise that you try to go cold turkey while you are not under the direct supervision of a health professional. Masking some of the psychological effects with benzodiazepines might not be too good an idea either, at least without oversight of a health professional. Again, I am not very knowledgeable about this whole issue, but those two things just strike me as not so good ideas.

The biggest thing I want to say is good luck dude. I know there are some member on this site who have gone through similar circumstances that you might be able to lean on for some support. I'm glad to hear your family is being supportive of this as well. Anyway, best wishes.

[Mr. Sinister]

Good luck OP. I know for me, the only time I drink is when I'm out with my buddies, or watching a skins game, cause I knew that if I drank alone, due to the alcoholic history in my family, that I'd be doing myself more harm then good. Wish you the best though.

[KingGibbs]

Well, you took the first step in admitting you have a problem. Props.

All I can say is keep a positive attitude and don't let friends drag you down. I've become a fitness nut and my friends always ask if I want to go out and drink a few. I explain to them why I don't want to drink because it would be a setback for my fitness goals nad if they truly are friends they understand..

You on the other hand have "life" reasons to put down the bottle and I wish you success on your voyage to sobriety.

[wskin44]

I know that different approaches work for different people and that success is relative, so my approach is just a suggestion and may not work for you. So my thoughts about it are just my experience and not a prescription for most, just something that you might want to try in the short term.

I've never been to an AA meeting. I'm cussedly independent about everything, which probably helps give me the motivation to not be under the control of alcohol. The all or nothing approach feeds anxiety and paralyses one from getting started. One day at a time is less scary. The reality is that if you can create some space between yourself and alcohol on a regular basis then you can have some some "safe" time to make better long term decisions.

Plan a day or evening which isn't centered around drinking. Get drunk the next day but plan another non drinking day right away. Reconsider the whole approach and your future drinking habits after you have proven to yourself that you can do other things on the days that you choose. But keep an honest count.

I'll always be an alcoholic. The first time I got drunk I was seven. I didn't drink last night. I probably will tonight for the second time this week. I know that I can create enough safe space on a regular basis that it doesn't consume me. If I ever had to quit completely (real terror) at least I can create enough sober days to make that decision.

[SnyderShrugged]

I'm proud of you WVU, You have made the toughest step already in admitting to yourself that there is a problem. I don't pretend to claim that the rest of the journey wont be tough, but to me, your courage and honesty with yourself has already made it past the hardest part.

I dont know if you are a man of faith, but this is the time to give God a chance.

My prayers and sincerest admiration for you posting this to you my friend.

God Bless

[WVUforREDSKINS]

I know that different approaches work for different people and that success is relative, so my approach is just a suggestion and may not work for you. So my thoughts about it are just my experience and not a prescription for most, just something that you might want to try in the short term.

I've never been to an AA meeting. I'm cussedly independent about everything, which probably helps give me the motivation to not be under the control of alcohol. The all or nothing approach feeds anxiety and paralyses one from getting started. One day at a time is less scary. The reality is that if you can create some space between yourself and alcohol on a regular basis then you can have some some "safe" time to make better long term decisions.

:rubeyes:

Plan a day or evening which isn't centered around drinking. Get drunk the next day but plan another non drinking day right away. Reconsider the whole approach and your future drinking habits after you have proven to yourself that you can do other things on the days that you choose. But keep an honest count.

:doh:

I'll always be an alcoholic. The first time I got drunk I was seven. I didn't drink last night. I probably will tonight for the second time this week. I know that I can create enough safe space on a regular basis that it doesn't consume me. If I ever had to quit completely (real terror) at least I can create enough sober days to make that decision.

:dallasuck

[LaxBuddy21]

Good luck! Admitting you have a problem really is a huge step forward. The best thing to do is to fill your life with other things. Keep yourself busy. Try not to leave yourself a lot of free time to just sit around and think because that is when you will debate with yourself about drinking. Eventually, you will realize you dont need alcohol. Just remember that just one drink is not ok. That is the mistake that my brother in law is making right now. He finally admitted he had a problem but decided that he had never tried to control his drinking before so now he was going to control it after his 3rd DUI. Try to keep yourself away from alcohol and drinking situations as much as possible. Again, good luck!

[Spaceman Spiff]

Good luck man!

[TheDoyler23]

I don't have much advice, other than good luck!

Let us know how its going, too. I'm sure there are many many people rooting for you!