Switchgear Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I've been married 5 years. My wife and I have never had any serious fights or arguments, we are really compatible. But if you aren't satisfied with certain aspects of your relationship now, well, things won't change for the better. It sounds like you're getting married due to momentum. You should get married because you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. If you can honestly say that's why you're doing it, go for it. Otherwise get out while you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ax Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 And whoever says that your sex life will stop after you get married has married the wrong woman. Bingo! Besides, I've never met a human, male or female, who didn't enjoy an orgasm, and want more of them. But before you can receive great sex, you had better learn to give it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SolidSnake84 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I think declining sex in marriage could be an overall trend, not contingent on the person...not to brag but i've never had a girl tell me that i'm not good in bed lol. none of my partners ever had problems.. And i cant imagine that my dad, pastor, and several people from work all married the wrong kinds of women...but i guess you never know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbws Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I got married in 1981. If I had thought about it more, I would be out of jail by now. Just kidding. I heard that in a movie. Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Keep your head low, and your wits about you and you should make it out alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I have NEVER been so unhappy in a relationship. Forget the fact that she has pretty much estranged my entire family. You seem to be looking for someone to say don't do it. I'll help you out. Don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kramdizzle Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 5 wks is a long time to work things out. My fiance and I were having some problems, some with my family so we went to see a shrink. I thought it was more for her, which it was, but it turns out that I needed to work on some things too. Nothing wrong to get a third party opinion. Women are very emotional and when they are nervous small **** sets them off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I'm a bit disconcerted about the fact that your dad is no long your best man because of her and she is essentially estranging you from you from your family... I don't know your situation enough to give you yes or no advice, but I will say the whole family thing is pretty concerning. Good luck with whatever you choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I think declining sex in marriage could be an overall trend, not contingent on the person...not to brag but i've never had a girl tell me that i'm not good in bed lol. none of my partners ever had problems.. I don't think a girl ever TELLS a guy he's not good in bed.....they just stop answering their phone calls;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight Judges Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I think declining sex in marriage could be an overall trend, not contingent on the person...not to brag but i've never had a girl tell me that i'm not good in bed lol. none of my partners ever had problems.. Well that's good because most of the time if a guy is bad in bed girls will just come right out and say it. They are very forthcoming like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robotfire Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 All relationships have storms. I've been happily married for seven years, and we've had some storms as well. What you're describing doesn't sound like a storm to me. It sounds like an atom bomb between people who hate each other. My advice is that you don't marry someone who hates you, and that you don't marry someone you hate. If you are overblowing everything here, then take a step back. Maybe it's a storm, and you're just describing it poorly or I'm misinterpreting things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NattyLight Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I just got married in July. Sure the weeks leading up to the wedding can be stressful, but to fight everyday is not a very good sign at all. It sounds like to me both of you have similar personalities; stubborn and always want to be right. My advice is to approach (ie not attack) the issue of the argument in a firm way, and demand calm and MATURE line communication. If you are constantly screaming at each other like children, I fear for the success of the relationship. Also, as cliche as it may be, it will take sacrifice of your passion and fire. Just because you give in to your wife, or subscribe to her side of the argument every once in a while doesn't make you any less of a man. But that street has to go both ways, if she's (or you) are getting on each other EVERY DAY and she won't give a little? You may want to go seek relationship counseling with a therapist or a preacher or call it quits. That is my honest two cents and I wish you the best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC_RedskinsFan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 You seem to be looking for someone to say don't do it. I'll help you out.Don't do it. Yeah that was what i was thinking also when i read through this thread. If i were you i would put it on hold till yall get it figured out. Good luck on whatever you decide to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight Judges Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I got married three weeks ago. We decided to do a little wedding so there was not a lot less of stress. Everything turned out perfect and we didn't fight at all. Both of us were very much at peace leading up the wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudechain Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Ok, so here goes: Im 5 weeks away from my wedding to my girlfriend of 5 1/2 years, of which we've been living together for the last 4. She is my closest friend, and I'm madly attracted to her, but the last 3 or 4 weeks has been UNBEARABLE!!!! We fight literally EVERY day. We've always been a very passionate couple, so when we fight, it's usually a big overdrawn fight. But in the last couple years our fights have been more limited to like once a month. It's turned into EVERY day. Now granted, there's a lot of other things at work, like stress from being kicked out of where we were living, our dog who was the love of our lives got run over, both within the last month, so obviously it's been tough. Not to mention the fact that we havent had "relations" at all, even really made out at all, in over 2 1/2 weeks. We haven't really had a stellar sex life to begin with (maybe like once a week, at best), but now it's pretty much turned non-existent, which is completely unsatisfactory to me. My question is, a lot of people tell me its normal to fight and be stressed with a month left, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's God's will, and we just aren't meant to be together. I need advice ASAP!!!! Please help me! It's pretty much normal for stress to boil over just before the wedding. My wife and I have been married for almost fifteen years and I remember those weeks leading up to our wedding day. Like you, I am pretty laid back and not into conflict. My wife and I are best friends but the stress of the "big day" is a lot to bear. Remember that a wedding is an extremely big deal and I would hazard to say even more so for a woman. I pretty much agreed to everything she wanted our wedding day to be and I heard that I am not taking enough of a part in the planning process. Considering we had been living together for quite a while we were just making it legal on paper as far as I was concerned. But that's not the case in her eyes. She's making a big commitment in front of friends and family, and even a judge or pastor. It's something that she may have dreamed of for a long time and the fact the "big day" is getting closer can build up tremendous stress and anxiety. You learn to apologize a lot and say "yes dear" edit: I read through the rest of this thread and it sounds like there might be something else going on. You both are under a lot of stress but maybe you need to think about what made you fall for her in the first place. Then tell her how you feel and what your going through. You have got to communicate. If you love her and you want to spend the rest of your life with her. You may need to remind her. I can only speak from my past experience, but one thing I have learned is that I never let a day go by without telling my wife what she means to me. Think about it, then think some more, and then talk to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I got married three weeks ago. We decided to do a little wedding so there was not a lot less of stress. Everything turned out perfect and we didn't fight at all. Both of us were very much at peace leading up the wedding. Mine was pretty peaceful as well. I was married two years ago and we didn't really fight before the wedding. I can't say this is the norm being that I'm very comfortable with my wife's decision making so I let her plan the wedding as she wanted it with my mom and her mom. I didn't have the sex issue either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Im getting married in January. St. Lucia W.E. 2 weeks of paradise with no stress. I have the wedding party who have all already accepted their invitations and booked their bungalo's and flights all staying in Marrigot Bay with us. Its been reletively easy. I am lucky to have a couple of friends who were able to throw down and take off and come out there with us. Its not cheap. I still need to get my groomsmen gifts though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 OK I read through this thread and frankly this wedding is looking like a bad thing. 1 - Man up and take control of your house. This whole fighting with your family thing is something you need to take command of. Your family is not something she can run over when she wants to. She will respect your family or she will pack her **** and leave. She doesn't have to like them, she does have to respect them. Non-negotiable. (this works both ways) 2 - The sex thing. My best advice there is simply that most people expect their partners to put out without any effort. The whole, excuse my language, booty on tap concept. That's fantasy land people. The same reasons they wanted to sleep with you before apply after you get into a long relationship. Sitting down on the couch isn't going to inspire her to come out of the bedroom in heels and a thong. You got to keep the romance going. 3 - Your finances are all sorts of f'ed up and that doesn't make married life easy. You have two jobs and she words too and you got tossed out of your place. That's a financial house in disorder. Get that figured out, find a career and a burn rate that matches your income. Plan. Plan. Plan some more. If you need your next check to pay bills this month your plan is bad. Check to check is a red flag. Have 3 months of reserves at all times at the very least. 4 - If she left consider encouraging her to stay gone. Actions have consequences and women don't stay with weak men for very long anyway. If this went down like you say and she just flipped out left and is now insulting you respond with some variation of "if that's how you want it... stay gone!" She's either got to meet you half way or leave for good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I never really understand why most people get married...too many do for all the wrong reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rich Fla Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 80%. Eighty percent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rich Fla Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Yeah that was what i was thinking also when i read through this thread. If i were you i would put it on hold till yall get it figured out. Good luck on whatever you decide to do. Exactly. If you know, you know. If you don't know, your just trying to save something, and if this is true, I hope you make tons of money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC_RedskinsFan Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Exactly. If you know, you know. If you don't know, your just trying to save something, and if this is true, I hope you make tons of money. Its cheaper to keep her I know this first hand lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Bingo! Besides, I've never met a human, male or female, who didn't enjoy an orgasm, and want more of them. But before you can receive great sex, you had better learn to give it. So, you're saying physiologically, that men and women are created equal? That each person emits the same amount of the appropriate hormone to create equal sex drives among women and men..... and different individuals of the same sex? And at varying points in their lives? Really, think that one over. Because that's generally a pretty stupid blanket statement that can be disproven with less then 60 seconds of effort. All people who experience orgasm - acknowledging that there are those that cannot -- most likely enjoy it. However, some people aren't completely consumed by the experience of orgasm that it becomes an insatiable need. Not to mention at least 3 dozen different legitimate reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubble Screen Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I don't think a girl ever TELLS a guy he's not good in bed.....they just stop answering their phone calls;) I think this is usually the case, yes. Well that's good because most of the time if a guy is bad in bed girls will just come right out and say it. They are very forthcoming like that. I think MissU's version is closer to the truth, actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I think this is usually the case, yes. I think MissU's version is closer to the truth, actually. i think he was being sarcastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.