visionary Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 But then it's not you confronting the guy, and thus wouldn't make him feel better by having confronted him. What if you go with them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 i'm not in the "whoop his ass" camp, so i'm not sure why you went there.rince said, she cheats, it's done. i say w/ kids, it's not that easy. Ok, I see. I still don't see how it would do any good and do you really think you'd be able to control your emotions when you confronted said jerkoff? I like the idea of going to his live-in pregnant girlfriend much better. Too much can go wrong the other way. One or both of you might end up dead or in jail. Besides, you don't even know the guy, the wife's the one who betrayed you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I don't buy that macho stuff. I just fail to see how that would accomplish anything. Sure, you're going to be pissed and want to pound the guy but it just doesn't do any good. There's something to be said for restraint and reason as well as big heavy balls if you ask me. 1 - It would make sure that "Tony" knows your point of view in case the wife has been making up stories. 2 - If your wife has been making up stories odds are a surprised Tony will tell you what those were and you have more information with which to make your decisions. 3 - It makes certain that you don't look back on the event and wonder if you should have fought for the relationship or regret that you choked on your own outrage. There is something to be said for restraint - there is also something to be said for acting like you got a pair when your family is threatened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Questions for those FOR confronting Tony.1) How would you go about doing it? 2) What do you want to achieve? 3) What chance (in %) do you think 1) has to successfully achieve 2)? 4) Is there any other way to achieve 2)? Thank You. 1.) in a calm, but firm manner. not threatening. 2.) a. make sure he knows she's married b. make sure he knows that i know, and that my wife has a choice to make 3.) that can't really be answered in a hypothetical exercise 4.) no you're welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Nonesense. At that time, if she wants out, let her out. Take steps to protect yourself, of course. But in this case here, we have no verbal evidence from the wife saying she wants out. Until then, protect the marriage. So at any point is it ok to become violent with your wife? My position is that it's not. Art had said earlier that in some cases its warranted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I think you're trying to absolve Tony of all blame and I don't get it. Tony's blameless in getting involved with a married woman if she doesn't tell him she's married and he doesn't know. But, here, he clearly knew and knows and doesn't care. He fears no reprisal, largely because somehow we've allowed some portion of society to believe the man going after a married woman isn't responsible if he makes headway. Of course he is. It takes TWO to tango. If Brave's wife was masturbating alone thinking of Tony, then Tony has no part in this. But, she's not. She's doing it WHILE talking to Tony. Tony is challenging the husband to stop him by not stopping himself. If Brave does nothing, Tony will feel he can continue trying because he will feel no concern about consequence. Absolutely Tony is respsonsible for his part in this mess if he knew she was married. The ugly part here is if Tony gets the better of a physical fight, or comes back to your house some night if he loses. I have seen both results. I've never had a mate cheat, even to this degree, but I'd want to stomp the crap out of a Tony just on general principles. Yet I have seen this other stuff happen too, so if the woman is anxious and willing to make it all right again with you, it can create more trouble then it's worth to go look the guy up just to smack him around. Then the woman, even if she stays, often resents the action and you anyway, and somewhere down the road strays again but is much more skilled at being secretive. At least, these are some situations I've witnessed first-hand. The physcial smack-down is a tricky deal, but I sure relate to the desire and have been in trouble more than once for yielding to it in other circumstances. What I reccommend, even though it's less satisfying personally, is having a trusted, competent brother visit "Tony" months later, beat the holy hell out of him, telling him it's because he knows "you been chasing around my woman" so Tony don't connect it to the original dude. But he does gets a message about his choices whether it really applies to his current activities or not. Of course, I didn't just say this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 AHFB Thread - we're coming for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 He could put a .22 slug into your head. That would put a definite damper on your day. I'll take my chances. He might be MassSkinsFan?:whoknows: :laugh: Again, what are the odds of that? Very small i hope. guy has a pregnant girlfriend...so I doubt it... :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 She commits adultery - i've done nothing wrong. How do you think i'm not going to get the kids? look between your legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goaldeje Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 So at any point is it ok to become violent with your wife? My position is that it's not. Art had said earlier that in some cases its warranted. I would disagree with Art, there. Note I'm not saying it would never happen, but I would not condone or excuse it. I was referencing Tony. Though it's interesting. I fully agree with Art when it comes to raping my wife or daughter. There aren't enough torture devices in the world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Because what good could possibly come from confronting the guy if i've broken it off with my wife? Name me one positive that could possibly come from that scenario? Remember - my relationship would be done. In my opinion, if we look at every situation and ask ourselves "what good can come from that", we are on a tenuous path indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Ok, I see. I still don't see how it would do any good and do you really think you'd be able to control your emotions when you confronted said jerkoff? I like the idea of going to his live-in pregnant girlfriend much better. Too much can go wrong the other way. One or both of you might end up dead or in jail. Besides, you don't even know the guy, the wife's the one who betrayed you. i know that. but he may not even know that she's married. i'm with you, MOST of the blame goes on the wife, and all of it if she's lying to dude. but, unless he is being lied to, which confronting him would allow him to find out, he does have some blood on his hands in this. i'm pretty good at controlling my emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 That's why you should talk to him That's actually a really good point. I think you would at least want to establish what your wife's role was, what she told him and how she acted. I more against the violence aspect. You're right though that if you have any desire to continue with your wife, you should gather as much info as possible to make an informed decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 i know that. but he may not even know that she's married. i'm with you, MOST of the blame goes on the wife, and all of it if she's lying to dude. but, unless he is being lied to, which confronting him would allow him to find out, he does have some blood on his hands in this.i'm pretty good at controlling my emotions. You're right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I would disagree with Art, there. Note I'm not saying it would never happen, but I would not condone or excuse it. I was referencing Tony.Though it's interesting. I fully agree with Art when it comes to raping my wife or daughter. There aren't enough torture devices in the world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skin'emAlive Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Again - no need for confrontation, she cheats, i'm out. Why confront the guy? Well... i think if I never confronted the guy it would eat away at my heart for the rest of my life. How some guy i dont know, nor have i ever seen before took my love of my life away from me and i did nothing about it other than run away. I think confronting the guy in some way is a way of showing u still have some dignity and pride left. Of course it probably is the best thing to not say anything at all.... feeling like crap for the rest of ur life sucks infinitely worse. At least you will be able to stomach it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I fully agree with Art when it comes to raping my wife or daughter. There aren't enough torture devices in the world... i wonder what the pacifists' view on that scenario would be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 1.) in a calm, but firm manner. not threatening.2.) a. make sure he knows she's married b. make sure he knows that i know, and that my wife has a choice to make 3.) that can't really be answered in a hypothetical exercise 4.) no you're welcome. I see your point. The part I am missing is this. What is the point of informing Tony that he has the power to break up your relationship? It seems this whole excercise would let Tony know that you consider Tony a threat. I prefer a course of action that lets Tony know how in-freakin-significant Tony is. Tony is a scum of the earth. He is not important enough to confront. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 In my opinion, if we look at every situation and ask ourselves "what good can come from that", we are on a tenuous path indeed. I don't think i see your point. Shouldn't you always want to know what good could come of you actions? Maybe I over analyize things, but i always try to choice the path of action with the least amount of negative effects - and therefore steer towards those actions that would cause the most good. Don't really see how that tenuous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Well... i think if I never confronted the guy it would eat away at my heart for the rest of my life. How some guy i dont know' date=' nor have i ever seen before took my love of my life away from me and i did nothing about it other than run away. I think confronting the guy in some way is a way of showing u still have some dignity and pride left. Of course it probably is the best thing to not say anything at all.... feeling like crap for the rest of ur life sucks infinitely worse. At least you will be able to stomach it.[/quote']Excellent points, and very similar to the healing that takes place when someone confronts a loved one's killer after he is behind bars, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 I see your point. The part I am missing is this. What is the point of informing Tony that he has the power to break up your relationship? It seems this whole excercise would let Tony know that you consider Tony a threat. I prefer a course of action that lets Tony know how in-freakin-significant Tony is. i think the fact that he's im'ing/ texting/ emailing/ moving in on your wife shows him he is of some significance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 i wonder what the pacifists' view on that scenario would be? That is an unfair scenario and one i don't care to contemplate. I think we should leave it at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Because what good could possibly come from confronting the guy if i've broken it off with my wife? Name me one positive that could possibly come from that scenario? Remember - my relationship would be done. If the relationship is already done, then it would just make me feel like I didnt completely punk out. It would allow me to live with myself, so there's your one positive. Again, this is just me, not everyone is wired like I am. If the relationship is where it is for the thread starter, then it would serve to motivate Tony to stay the hell away, after wifey realizes she cant have both guys. The wife's the one who disrespected the family. The other dude may not even know girl has a family, depending on what she told him. They work together. He ****ing knows. Stop making excuses for an *******. Questions for those FOR confronting Tony.1) How would you go about doing it? 2) What do you want to achieve? 3) What chance (in %) do you think 1) has to successfully achieve 2)? 4) Is there any other way to achieve 2)? Thank You. 1) at his work, in front of his coworkers. 2) let him know that his actions will have consequences and to make sure he knows what they are and generally to let him know that i disapprove of his continued exsistence. 3)1000% 4)I guess i could IM him and ask pretty please. Maybe send him a very stern letter? Skywriting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 That is an unfair scenario and one i don't care to contemplate. I think we should leave it at that. fair enough. and that wasn't just directed at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRS Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 i think the fact that he's im'ing/ texting/ emailing/ moving in on your wife shows him he is of some significance. Yes, by doing so he is trying to establish his significance. By confronting him you would confirm his significance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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