The Neighbors and The AITA thread.

[PleaseBlitz]

Don't be jelly that I figured out I could simply cover my driveway with a moveable object. 

[The Evil Genius]

43 minutes ago, Spaceman Spiff said:

This is what it's come down to.  dick measuring over how long it takes to clear driveways.

 

I mean they're both rich enough to live somewhere it doesn't snow...

[TheGreatBuzz]

47 minutes ago, tshile said:

I’m surrounded by old people so I also clear their driveways. 
 

 

At first I didn't like it. Felt like I should shovel my own way. Then I remembered how ****ing driveways I had to shovel as a kid. So I'll take it.

[tshile]

Meh. We’re not in the same category. I’m doing well thanks to good financial responsibility combined with some good luck throughout. 
 

he’s lawyer living in the dc area and i believe  he said he made partner and is real estate law which I believe is the most lucrative law to be in. 

 

up until 2 years ago I wasn’t even cracking 6 digits on salary. Tons of people make more money than I have by the time they’re (hey I just had a birthday) 39 

 

but when you buy your first house at 24 in NOVA during a financial collapse and then buy raw land before the market bounces back and dump all your equity into a new house before Covid ****s everything up, you wind up looking better than you really should. 

[PleaseBlitz]

9 minutes ago, The Evil Genius said:

 

I mean they're both rich enough to live somewhere it doesn't snow...

 

I like the snow. I like having seasons. 🤷‍♂️

[PleaseBlitz]

13 minutes ago, tshile said:

he’s lawyer living in the dc area and i believe  he said he made partner and is real estate law which I believe is the most lucrative law to be in. 

 

I don't own a boat. 

[The 12th Commandment]

19 minutes ago, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I like the snow. I like having seasons. 🤷‍♂️

People who have seasons where they live always say that.  

[PleaseBlitz]

Just now, The 12th Commandment said:

People who have seasons where they live always say that.  

 

Seems like a self-fulfilling prophesy. 

[TradeTheBeal!]

39 is probably old enough to know that folks don’t really like it when other folks repeatedly speculate about their net worth.

[tshile]

1 hour ago, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I don't own a boat. 

 

I can’t help it I spend my money better than you do

 

 

54 minutes ago, TradeTheBeal! said:

39 is probably old enough to know that folks don’t really like it when other folks repeatedly speculate about their net worth.

And some people suck regardless of their age

 

humans are fascinating 

[The Evil Genius]

3 hours ago, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I like the snow. I like having seasons. 🤷‍♂️

 

When I moved away from snow, I realized just how much snow and sub 40° winters suck. 

 

Plus Tahoe is only a few hours away. Plenty of snow there if I need to be reminded. 

Edited February 29 by The Evil Genius

[The 12th Commandment]

8 minutes ago, The Evil Genius said:

 

When I moved away from snow, I realized just how much snow and sub 40° winters suck. 

 

Plus Tahoe is only a few hours away. Plenty of snow there if I need to be reminded. 

Yup, I can drive an hour and a half and get all the winter I want.  Then go back home and have a drink on my patio. 

 

The reasons to live in the DC area are many, the weather isn't typically one of them.

[The Evil Genius]

Appropriate response.

 

 

[PleaseBlitz]

I’ve lived in my house for 10 years. This has never happened before. A (probably small) dog is going absolutely bonkers barking. Barkbarkbark. Constantly   I hear a lady clapping her hands and yelling “stop!”  Dog is still going bonkers. Barkbarkbark. Not sure what to do here, probably nothing. 
 

Edit. Jk, me and my dog are gonna go investigate. Yes ive been drinking. 

Edited April 14 by PleaseBlitz

[PleaseBlitz]

[skinsmarydu]

18 minutes ago, PleaseBlitz said:

I’ve lived in my house for 10 years. This has never happened before. A (probably small) dog is going absolutely bonkers barking. Barkbarkbark. Constantly   I hear a lady clapping her hands and yelling “stop!”  Dog is still going bonkers. Barkbarkbark. Not sure what to do here, probably nothing. 
 

Edit. Jk, me and my dog are gonna go investigate. Yes ive been drinking. 

One evening I'll record about 3 minutes of my neighborhood and you'll be grateful and STFU.  Oh yeah, Saturday night is particularly fun. 

I posted a vehicular homicide not too long ago. 

*I say that with all due respect, counselor *.  

I've had a few & I gotta sell this house. 

 

[TradeTheBeal!]

PBeez regulating those mean streets like Nate Dogg!

[SkinsFTW]

So do those "houses" have doors that connect to your neighbors "house"? Like in hotel rooms?

[PleaseBlitz]

10 hours ago, TradeTheBeal! said:

PBeez regulating those mean streets like Nate Dogg!

We’re damn good too. 

[Spaceman Spiff]

On 12/5/2023 at 2:28 PM, Spaceman Spiff said:

This here story I'm about to unfold is absolutely ridiculous.  And I don't really know what to do.

 

January of this year, I got invited by a buddy of mine (we'll call him Dave) to run a marathon in November (spoiler, your boy Spiff did pretty well and didn't walk or stop the entire time).  Dave lives on the opposite side of town from me and due to his work/family schedule we wouldn't be able to train together very often, maybe once a week.

 

Dave also lives in an absolutely massive subdivision, a planned community with single family homes and townhomes.  This subdivision actually has it's own message board and Dave made the mistake of making a post on that message board to see if anyone wanted to start a running club with him, or at the very least run with him a few times a week to train for his marathon.  

 

Well, Dave got a response within 10 minutes from a neighbor that lives around the corner from him, we'll call this guy Howard.  And Dave has now learned the lesson to not meet dorks off a message board (yes, I'm roasting ES a little bit).

 

Partway through the summer, Dave and I decided to meet up on a Friday morning for a long run before work hours, I think we were doing 12 or 13 miles.  Friday morning meetups were a staple for us during the training, that was the one morning where our schedules would align.  Anyway, the night before Dave texted me something like "So, we're gonna run with this guy tomorrow morning and whatever you do, don't give him your phone number, don't give him any of your social media, just don't give him anything, trust me."

 

I'm like, WTF?  What the hell did Dave get us into?

 

So we met up and this guy Howard is a little quirky, but overall pretty nice.  Not someone I'd want to hang out with but also not someone who was completely unbearable.  And he didn't ask me for my phone number or socials or whatever.  He also kept getting my name wrong, which was weird but whatever.  I learned that despite being quirky and awkward, he somehow has a wife and a baby.

 

Howard also couldn't keep up with us on the runs whenever we met up on a Friday.  He's a bigger guy and he told us that he lost over 100 pounds.  Sometimes we'd get a quick breakfast after running, and one day he offered to show me a picture of him from 100+ pounds ago.  I pretended to be surprised and congratulate him on his change, but quite honestly I couldn't see a difference. 

 

He's run 5 marathons while Dave and I were preparing for our first.  Nonetheless, it was weird because he kept asking us for advice and Dave and I were like "Shouldn't we be the ones asking you for advice?"  He couldn't keep up on runs with us, he'd start walking after 8 or 9 miles.  Dave and I wanted to get better and train hard so while we'd encourage him for a bit, we'd usually end up just leaving him behind.  He'd whine whenever we had to run a hill, and he just whined a lot overall.  There wasn't an ounce of toughness, a willingness to push through some pain and get better.  During the conversations whenever we ran with him, there was a bit of oversharing from him when it came to personal matters...like, an overall inability to understand what's appropriate to talk about with two guys that you don't know very well and are here to train for a marathon.

 

But as quirky and as soft as he is, Howard is a really nice guy.  Like, TOO nice.  One day after we'd left him behind, we came back to our cars to find that he'd left cold Gatorades on them for us, with a hand written note saying how great we were doing.  The Gatorades were nice and thoughtful, the notes were a bit weird and over the top.

 

Given the proximity of how close Howard and Dave live to each other, they'd run together 2-3 times a week and Dave would tell me anecdotes about what he was dealing with and I'd just laugh.  He'd tell me that Howard kept asking for my phone number so we could hang out but Dave wouldn't give it up.  He wanted my facebook, too (I don't have one) and I'm surprised he hasn't found me on Instagram yet.  Dave told him that if he wanted my phone number that he'd have to ask me for it and he never did.

 

Fast forward to the marathon that I ran with Dave in November, it went pretty well, better than either of us expected.  That night, we're with our wives and kids in the hotel suite eating dinner when Howard messages my wife on facebook to tell her to tell me to text him because he wanted to congratulate me on the accomplishment.  In a moment of weakness, I caved and texted him.  

 

And now I'm fully aware of what Dave's been dealing with since this past summer.

 

The text messages roll in at a frequency higher than any of my closest friends text me.  Howard wants to meet with me to talk about the intimacy issues that he's having with his wife since they had their child, he wants my advice (Spiff's advice:  "go talk to a therapist and talk to your wife").  He'll do that thing that I absolutely cannot ****ing stand that people do in conversations where they drop a hint about something and they want you to ask a question so they can talk about it, but I never give in so he'll just keep dropping hints until he can't take it anymore and then just tell me what's going on.  He's texted at length about his self confidence issues and his issues with the way his body looks.  Now of course there's also the requisite group chat with Dave, Howard and me and while we're chatting on there, Howard will also be texting me directly at the same time.

 

But as annoying as he can be, I keep coming back to the fact that he's SO NICE, which makes me feel bad about how annoyed I am.  He wanted us to go to dinner to celebrate our marathons (he ran his 6th solo about a month before Dave and I did) and kept telling us that "Santa has a present for you guys!" which, again, is ****ing WEIRD.  What grown man tells other grown men that Santa has presents for them?

 

But when we get there, Howard each gave us a picture frame to commemorate our first marathon, complete with the date and time which we ran our marathons engraved and inside the frame was a picture of each of us crossing the finish line.  He explained that his wife gave him one after he finished his first marathon and he's got it proudly displayed in his office.  Like, damn.  He didn't have to do that...just too nice.  He's talked to us about how much we've helped him and how thankful he is for the friendship.

 

At the same time, he'd asked me to lunch twice this week already and wants me to circle a date in December that Dave and I can come over to his house for drinks.  The text messages about wanting to improve his self confidence are a lot and it's just getting to be too, too much.   Repeated "I'm booked up" and "sorry, that date doesn't work for me" would end up hurting his feelings.

 

If I had to paint a picture, he's like a cross between Bill Murray's character in What About Bob and Zach Galifinakis's character in The Hangover.  If he busted out with "And we're the three best friends!" song, I would not be surprised.

 

Part of me just wants to be direct with him but I also recognize that he's pretty fragile, he looks up to Dave and me (he's admitted as much) and I don't want to hurt the dude's feelings.  Part of me likes him a little bit because he's, again, way too nice and ultimately I recognize that he means well...last week the three of us ran 13.1 miles one morning and for the first time he didn't stop and walk and we didn't leave him behind.  I was proud of him.

 

Anyway, if any of you guys have any advice on how to get rid of a 40+ year old stage 5 clinger, let me know.  Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Update if anyone gives a ****:

 

I've been able to avoid Howard for months.  Dave and Howard have gone running together some, but Dave has told me that Howard cancels last minute or stands him up more often than not.  About three weeks ago, Howard straight up ditched Dave to go run with someone else in their neighborhood.  

 

Last week, I texted the them both in the group chat that I'd be down for running 5 miles Friday morning.  Dave replied that he'd be out of town but Howard was all excited that I'd asked and it'd be good to catch up.  This is after him saying that he wanted to make sure that I didn't want to push the pace or run fast or anything like that.  Dave was like "Yeah, good luck on him actually showing up!"

 

Thursday rolls around, I confirm with Howard that we're still on for Friday morning and Howard's all in!  He's even plotted a course for us and changed the meetup spot as a result.  Cool.  And again, he's reiterated that he wants to run at a nice, easy pace.

 

It's Thursday night, it's the NFL draft, one of my favorite nights of the year but I gotta do what I gotta do and I go to bed relatively early, not too long after the Commies selected Daniels.  I've set two alarms, laid out my running clothes, I'm all ready to go.

 

Alarms go off, I wake up and there's a text from Howard that came in at 11:40 PM.  Apparently he'd been "teaching a class" at work from 3pm that just ended and he was still at the office and there was no way he'd get home before midnight so he would not be meeting me for our scheduled run in the morning.

 

No apology, no "hey, sorry for the inconvenience but this thing at work took longer than expected and I can't make it in the morning.  I feel bad, can we reschedule?"  Nope, just "I will not be running in the morning."

 

So I see that and I'm pissed.  And I didn't respond, I figured no response would send the right message on exactly how pissed I was.  I spent the morning with the family instead, took the kid to daycare, mowed the lawn, got a jumpstart on work and had a productive morning.  Told Dave that Howard had bailed, Dave was like "Told you so!"

 

Sure enough, Howard's texts start rolling in like a desperate teenager.  "I was beyond exhausted, no way I could run"

 

A couple hours later, "Hey"

 

"Are u mad at me that I didn't run?"

 

Then a couple hours after that, "Hey"

 

Nothing from him Saturday, then yesterday afternoon:  "Y was it necessary to tell Dave I cancelled on you Friday morning?" (yes, he really types this way)

 

And I couldn't take it, so I just told him, "I wasn't mad, Howard, I was furious"

 

"Ok, you have every right to be mad and furious."  Which also pissed me off, I ****ing hate it when people tell other people that they have a right to their feelings.  "It is what it is," is what he sent after his text about having the right to be mad and furious.

 

Then I laid into him about how we confirmed Thursday, he didn't give a heads up that he had a long work day ahead, might not be able to make it in the morning and that he didn't even apologize.  You would think that someone with basic social skills would take the hint and say "Yep, I was an asshole and I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to inconvenience you, I feel bad about that.  I apologize."

 

Nope.  All I got back was an "Ok."  And that was it, haven't heard from him since.

 

Showed it to Dave and he said "Bro, sounds like Howard is an emotionless opportunist"

 

Which, maybe he is. 

 

[tshile]

That sucks. I have so many friends that are flakes that sort of thing doesn’t bother me like it used to. I’m pretty much just plan on it and make sure I’m scheduling something I want to do with or without them. 
 

I have one that is notorious for throwing out an idea to the group - then being the one person that bails 😂 

 

I have a flip story to add about being a neighbor though. 
 

few weeks ago a tree on my property fell onto the neighbors. Thankfully it took out their fence but somehow otherwise landed to not damage any of the many other things it could have - including their pool and associated things. 
 

Texted him to see how he wanted to handle it. Turns out they were out of town. Quickly called up my guy as doing it myself would have meant not getting to it for several days. 
 

he came out the next morning cleaned everything up before the neighbors got home. I covered the cost. Which is not necessary as the laws here actually make that his responsibility - but it was my tree, I felt bad, and just took care of it for him. 
 

I feel comfortable doing that because generally the group of us looks out for and takes care of each other. I consider it paying it forward 🤷‍♂️