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The Miscellaneous Humor Thread---vids/gifs/pics/jokes---no articles, no "owned" stuff


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2 minutes ago, dfitzo53 said:

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Lol soooo many rebuttals....I just can't pick one...


And yes I laughed as I typed it knowing my fellow degenerates would run with it

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1 hour ago, zskins said:

This law firm can represent you even after you are dead. 




Lawyer: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Witness: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Lawyer: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Witness: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Lawyer: And Mr. Johnson was dead at the time?
Witness: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

The next day the testimony of the doctor continued. (same lawyer)

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
Witness: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

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That reminds me of the press conference after Mickey Mantle's liver transplant. 

Reporter: (to the surgeon) "Can you update us on the condition of the donor? "

Surgeon: "You're a sports reporter, correct? "


I fell off the couch laughing. 

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