The Miscellaneous Humor Thread---vids/gifs/pics/jokes---no articles, no "owned" stuff

[zCommander]

[zCommander]

[Dan T.]

Son: "Dad, did you get your DNA test results back?"

Dad: "Call me George."

 

I told my aunt she painted her eyebrows on too high.  She looked surprised.

 

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed "Does anybody know CPR?!?"

I yelled back "I know the entire alphabet!" and we all laughed and laughed...

Well, except for one person...

[Captain Wiggles]

[Koolblue13]

39 minutes ago, zCommander said:

39 minutes ago, zCommander said:

 

This is by far my favorite anti vegan meme to make fun of. There are literally only three main ingredients in mashed potatoes. 

 

Potatoes which nobody seems to be able to get past.

Butter- not normally a plant

Cream- Not normally a plant.

 

Have you seriously never made mashed potatoes?

 

Posting this meme is like dunking on yourself. 

[zCommander]

7 minutes ago, Koolblue13 said:

This is by far my favorite anti vegan meme to make fun of. There are literally only three main ingredients in mashed potatoes. 

 

Potatoes which nobody seems to be able to get past.

Butter- not normally a plant

Cream- Not normally a plant.

 

Have you seriously never made mashed potatoes?

 

Posting this meme is like dunking on yourself. 

 

Ummmm.... you could just fry the mashed potatoes in vegetable oil. Problem solved. I call them tater tots.  

 

Or better yet: Mashed potatoes can be made without milk or butter by using vegetables or the cooking water from the potatoes instead of milk, and adding another fat like olive oil to replace butter. 

 

Edited April 22 by zCommander

[Koolblue13]

4 minutes ago, zCommander said:

 

Ummmm.... you could just fry the mashed potatoes in vegetable oil. Problem solved. I call them tater tots.  

 

Or better yet: Mashed potatoes can be made without milk or butter by using vegetables or the cooking water from the potatoes instead of milk, and adding another fat like olive oil to replace butter. 

 

Or you could use dairy from plants, which this product clearly does, yet it soars over the heads of people.

[zCommander]

4 minutes ago, Koolblue13 said:

Or you could use dairy from plants, which this product clearly does, yet it soars over the heads of people.

 

True. But damn only 89% potatoes. Better to just make it at home and have 100%. 

 

Ingredients

Potatoes (89%), Rice Drink [Water, Rice, Sunflower Oil, Calcium Phosphates, Stabiliser (Gellan Gum), Sea Salt, Salt, Calcium Chloride, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12], Vegetable Margarine [Rapeseed Oil, Palm Oil, Water, Salt, Emulsifier (Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids), Flavouring, Colour (Carotenes)], Salt, White Pepper

[Koolblue13]

3 minutes ago, zCommander said:

 

True. But damn only 89% potatoes. Better to just make it at home and have 100%. 

 

Ingredients

Potatoes (89%), Rice Drink [Water, Rice, Sunflower Oil, Calcium Phosphates, Stabiliser (Gellan Gum), Sea Salt, Salt, Calcium Chloride, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12], Vegetable Margarine [Rapeseed Oil, Palm Oil, Water, Salt, Emulsifier (Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids), Flavouring, Colour (Carotenes)], Salt, White Pepper

I have almost all of those things in my kitchen as lone ingredients.

 

Are you going to tell me that all chemicals are bad and if you can't pronounce it, you shouldn't eat it?  .

 

Come on man, it's earth day. I'm not gonna not bash the main cause of climate change.

[TheGreatBuzz]

6 minutes ago, Koolblue13 said:

I have almost all of those things in my kitchen as lone ingredients.

 

Are you going to tell me that all chemicals are bad and if you can't pronounce it, you shouldn't eat it?  .

 

Come on man, it's earth day. I'm not gonna not bash the main cause of climate change.

 

I care about the planet so much that I voluntarily use my own body to filter some of the worst things for the planet.

 

You're welcome. 

 

 

[Koolblue13]

[Dan T.]

Unfortunate business signs:

 

At a dry cleaner:

"28 years on the same spot."

 

In a loan office:

"Ask about our plan for owning your home."

 

In a repair shop:

"We strive to give you the lowest prices and workmanship."

 

 

 

 

I'm done.

[Fan since a Fetus]

 

Spoiler

 

[PleaseBlitz]

53 minutes ago, zCommander said:

True. But damn only 89% potatoes. Better to just make it at home and have 100%. 

When I make mashed potatoes at home, they are about 60-65% potatoes. 

[dfitzo53]

Yeah I'm pretty sure if it's 100% potatoes you made multiple mistakes. 

[Fan since a Fetus]

[zCommander]

My wife: So, you are not going to that client today to install the security system?

Me: Nope. It is Earth Day today.

Wife: So???!

Me: I am saving the planet by not driving today.   <the look on her face was priceless. I am actually waiting on a confirmation from the client if okay to come out today lol>

 

Plus, I rather talk about potatoes with @Koolblue13 instead anyway  

 

[The Evil Genius]

[ixcuincle]

[The Evil Genius]

Ok I feel all Mr Magoo now.

 

[zCommander]

1 minute ago, ixcuincle said:

 

Chicken wings made me and my family happier after eating everyday for 8 weeks. The something something are my favorite and chicken wings are my something part of this. After conducting our science project we can conclude....

 

That's all I could read. Sorry I tried. 

[Dan T.]

Thesis: Chicken wings damage your eyesight.

[EmirOfShmo]

 

[zCommander]

36 minutes ago, Dan T. said:

Thesis: Chicken wings damage your eyesight.

 

Yeah, but they are finger licking good though.  

[Renegade7]