This is an example of why being a teacher really sucks...

[codeorama]

But did they have Swatch Guards?

Sadly... Yes... I'm embarrassed.

[Riggo-toni]

Every time stuff like this comes up I'm soooo grateful for my vasectomy.

[Sticksboi05]

A kid asks for a cell phone and you want to give 'em a walkie-talkie?  In 2014, lol.

[Corcaigh]

Well, I'm not hiring a personal coach. But I don't think I agree with the rest of that.

 

Ignore my advice then. Go ahead and buy that fancy walkie-talkie and sign her up for travel basketball. You can recoup it out of her contract when she goes pro in the WNBA.

A kid asks for a cell phone and you want to give 'em a walkie-talkie?  In 2014, lol.

 

You might mock but Pat Robertson is on channel 7, along with the big guy upstairs.

[Kosher Ham]

The big guy is on channel 7 ? You have a link so I can see ?

 

I never had the guards but I did have about ten Swatch watches. 2 of the limited edition ones with diamonds. haha.

[zoony]

. It's either compete with these people or do nothing.

Parenting would have been a breeze in the 1980s. No Internet no cell phones, and oh by the way there is no competition for your kids. B students get to go to UVA and A students get to go to Harvard

Nowadays little Johnny has an entire local economy revolving around his athletic, cognitive, and social development. Notice I left out emotional.

Generation Like. Feathered haircuts, impeccable resumes, and the emotional stability of my left ass cheek. Will be a fun time when they are running the country.

[alexey]

Generation Like. Feathered haircuts, impeccable resumes, and the emotional stability of my left ass cheek. Will be a fun time when they are running the country.

Cannot imagine them messing it up any more than the baby boomers.

[Busch1724]

 

 

Are you saying that we could solve all the problems in, say, Baltimore County if we could just get every single mother there a 4-year degree? I'd agree with that. How do we do it?

 

Certainly not, but if you are looking for reasons why certain things happen, this is why. It is really difficult for many children to overcome to obstacles that life presents them. It relates to the vicious cycle argument. I've been teaching and have been involved in administration for about 14 years. During a grad class, we were discussing these very issues. We were circling around the same reasons many have mentioned here. 

Is that correlative or causative?

 

It was found to be causative. The mother who drops out does not typically place as high a value on education as a mother with some form of higher education. The study was very interesting and informative. 

 

 

To find the research, I'd have to do some digging around my old grad class stuff. I might be able to find it on EBSCO or some other education journal database.

[rictus58]

Am I the only parent who guarantees their child experiences disappointment on a regular basis to toughen them up?

 

Seriously though, everthing surrounding children now is all about keeping up with the jones'. We had my one girl taking Gymnastics classes. They also have a competition team. Which she made. But it was $6k annually. f that. Cheerleading? $5k annually (not counting some additional weekly classes). And the parents. My god. these women...I'm at a loss for words. You think dads at a pee-wee football game are bad? Oh no. Dance/Cheer/Gymnastics moms are the worst. By far.

I can't wait until she gets into Middle School and can do track. Here's your pair of shoes. Go run.

Luckily, we get free dance classes because my wife is a dance teacher.

[Busch1724]

Here's one link from 2010: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2853053/

 

It is not the original research we looked at, but pretty similar findings.

[zoony]

Am I the only parent who guarantees their child experiences disappointment on a regular basis to toughen them up?

Seriously though, everthing surrounding children now is all about keeping up with the jones'. We had my one girl taking Gymnastics classes. They also have a competition team. Which she made. But it was $6k annually. f that. Cheerleading? $5k annually (not counting some additional weekly classes). And the parents. My god. these women...I'm at a loss for words. You think dads at a pee-wee football game are bad? Oh no. Dance/Cheer/Gymnastics moms are the worst. By far.

I can't wait until she gets into Middle School and can do track. Here's your pair of shoes. Go run.

Luckily, we get free dance classes because my wife is a dance teacher.

Agreed

Look no further than the proliferation of selfies. We have raised an entire generation of raging narcissists

[CrypticVillain]

Am I the only parent who guarantees their child experiences disappointment on a regular basis to toughen them up?

 

Seriously though, everthing surrounding children now is all about keeping up with the jones'. We had my one girl taking Gymnastics classes. They also have a competition team. Which she made. But it was $6k annually. f that. Cheerleading? $5k annually (not counting some additional weekly classes). And the parents. My god. these women...I'm at a loss for words. You think dads at a pee-wee football game are bad? Oh no. Dance/Cheer/Gymnastics moms are the worst. By far.

I can't wait until she gets into Middle School and can do track. Here's your pair of shoes. Go run.

Luckily, we get free dance classes because my wife is a dance teacher.

The worst shows on TV are Toddlers and Tiaras and Dance Moms. I HATE those shows. Man those parents get on my nerves. 

[rictus58]

The worst shows on TV are Toddlers and Tiaras and Dance Moms. I HATE those shows. Man those parents get on my nerves. 

I'm not kidding when I say this...a few weeks ago there was almost a fight amongst the moms at the Cheerleading Facility because the Daughter of one lady wasn't invited to a sleep over. The owner of the facility had to go break it up. I fully belive competitive moms are crazier than dads. And of course, the Children see their parents acting like jackasses...and in turn act like jackasses themselves.

 

I'm not going to pretend to have all the answers for raising a kid. A lot of it is learn as you go.

However, my wife and I have questioned other parents who have highly successful children. Thier answers are all the...keep them busy...especially when they are in High School, and allow them to make mistakes.

[codeorama]

My sister in law is seriously nicknamed "Ditka" by our family. She is so competitive its sad.  My brother has to go off on her every now and then.  My brother and I let our 8 year olds play Little League in addition to travel ball. LL sucks, the competition is terrible, but, the 2 kids have fun. We'd rather them be other there doing that than playing video games or watching tv.  She gets so pissed that kids make errors or if her son makes an error. She has this expectation that he should be perfect. We rag on her for the entire games.  It's nuts.

[Elessar78]

Do nothing. If kids have any talent they will thrive practicing in their driveway and having fun. If they don't have any talent they won't be any good and you are taking away their child hood with a professional coach.

As a professional coach, this is mostly true, but not completely true. Even a kid with talent needs a good coach who knows what the end product is and how to get a kid there faster. A good coach can convey years of experience that would take years to acquire on one's own. 

 

I've had enough players who were not naturally talented turn out to be good players—if they enjoy it and want to be better, it's not about being the best in the world/your school/your town—just maximize his/her potential. 

 

Am I the only parent who guarantees their child experiences disappointment on a regular basis to toughen them up?

 

Seriously though, everthing surrounding children now is all about keeping up with the jones'. We had my one girl taking Gymnastics classes. They also have a competition team. Which she made. But it was $6k annually. f that. Cheerleading? $5k annually (not counting some additional weekly classes). And the parents. My god. these women...I'm at a loss for words. You think dads at a pee-wee football game are bad? Oh no. Dance/Cheer/Gymnastics moms are the worst. By far.

I can't wait until she gets into Middle School and can do track. Here's your pair of shoes. Go run.

Luckily, we get free dance classes because my wife is a dance teacher.

I'm that way, my wife is not. 

 

To your second point, my wife wants to put the four year old in dance. Really? The kid dances around when you put music on, she enjoys that. Why do I need to pay someone to teach her how to do that at this age. Yes, an age will come when formal dance lessons will be necessary, right now MOST little girls twirl around when they hear music. They enjoy doing just that. WHY do they need to be taught how to do that better?

[mcsluggo]

hmmmm.   I actually think that children today are for the most part more obedient and well behaved than when i was a kid... i am CERTAIN that more is expected of them at school (in terms of workload).

 

I guess i am the only one in this thread that was a slacker disobedient pain in the ass as a kid.... 

 

(it is fortunate-- for everyone---  that i grew out of that phase and became the sparkling beacon of light to the community at large that i am now... )

[endzone_dave]

I'm not kidding when I say this...a few weeks ago there was almost a fight amongst the moms at the Cheerleading Facility because the Daughter of one lady wasn't invited to a sleep over. The owner of the facility had to go break it up. I fully belive competitive moms are crazier than dads. And of course, the Children see their parents acting like jackasses...and in turn act like jackasses themselves.

 

I'm not going to pretend to have all the answers for raising a kid. A lot of it is learn as you go.

However, my wife and I have questioned other parents who have highly successful children. Thier answers are all the...keep them busy...especially when they are in High School, and allow them to make mistakes.

 

I'm with you. I think the "success is everything" parents who hover all over their kids all the time do their kids more harm than good.  If my son wants to play video gams or watch tv, that's ok.  There are consequences for not putting your work in but I leave it up to him to get it done.  My daughter is only 7 years old so I hover some but I'll gradually give her more responsibility to get things done on her own. 

 

There is no silver bullet for parenting and each kid is different.  I'll know eventually if I took the right approach.

[Dont Taze Me Bro]

I agree with both of the last posts, there is never 1 way that always works. Again, I'm frustrated. I see that many of these kids just can't read. They don't appreciate anything.  They don't say Thank you, they don't say excuse me.  They don't care.  I try so hard to get through and I do get through to many.  Some are great kids, but sadly, there is a pattern to the ones that don't get it.

Sadly, it starts at home.  And me and my wife are old school, so we raise our daughter (who is now 6) to be respectful of others, use manors, etc.  Just last night, we went out to eat and out of the blue, she runs up and opens the door for us and says "After you daddy and momma."  She's no Angel all the time and we have had our share of phone calls from the teacher or notes sent home (she's currently in Kindergarten).

 

I had two of her pre-school teachers tell me that they appreciate how me and the wife raise/teach our daughter and went on to say how delusional the majority of parents are in regards to how their kids act (i.e. pouting, crying, fighting, etc.) and believe their kids are perfect angels.  We keep it real with our daughter, I remember telling her that if she acted a certain way and cried over this or that in elementary school, the older kids and her peers were going to feast on her and she was going to be in for a culture shock because the teachers are not going to put up with as much as her teachers did at daycare.

 

Yes, I know kids that young cry over the dumbest stuff, but, it was more about my child who was five at the time acting like she was 3 (on occasion).  She is extremely bright/smart and has always been ahead of the other kids as far as learning development.

 

And I can see it in how other kids act and I wonder if their parents ever punish their kids at all or have serious talks with them about issues.  My guess is they don't or not often enough.  We make our daughter help clean up the house (i.e. her messes that she makes all over the house).  She likes helping my wife fold laundry and clean baseboards (not sure why lol).  And in 10 years she will turn 16 and she will get and work a part-time job, just like I did.

 

Kids are lazy as **** nowdays and its sad because with all the technology they have, they have the ability to be smarter, brighter, more innovative than our generation.  But slack parenting and laziness have taken over and a lot of these kids aren't prepared after college, maturity wise.  

 

I can't tell you how many new grads my company has hired over the 12 years I've been there that a] never worked a part-time job (unless it was for their family business); b] Acted somewhat like drama queens/highschool in the office;  c] Were so ungrateful about company reward programs, benefits, etc.;  or d] all of the above

[rictus58]

 

To your second point, my wife wants to put the four year old in dance. Really? The kid dances around when you put music on, she enjoys that. Why do I need to pay someone to teach her how to do that at this age. Yes, an age will come when formal dance lessons will be necessary, right now MOST little girls twirl around when they hear music. They enjoy doing just that. WHY do they need to be taught how to do that better?

 

Whether it's dance, Little League or soccer, there is something a child can learn from that environment. Working together. Following instructions. Paying attention. Following through on a commitment. It's not all about learning 1st position in Ballet. Much like traditional sports, there are also scholarships to be had if they are good at it. The earlier you learn something, the better off you are down the line most of the time. Additionally, if I had a son, you better believe I'd enroll him in dance classes also.

[SkinsHokieFan]

hmmmm.   I actually think that children today are for the most part more obedient and well behaved than when i was a kid... i am CERTAIN that more is expected of them at school (in terms of workload).

 

I guess i am the only one in this thread that was a slacker disobedient pain in the ass as a kid.... 

 

(it is fortunate-- for everyone---  that i grew out of that phase and became the sparkling beacon of light to the community at large that i am now... )

 

I am with you on this

 

I see what my cousins who just graduated college are doing and have done (all 10 years younger then me) and they would have whipped my ass when I was in high school college

 

All I was doing was getting decent grades, running a painting company, and posting on ES  

[Corcaigh]

I guess i am the only one in this thread that was a slacker disobedient pain in the ass as a kid.... 

 

(it is fortunate-- for everyone---  that i grew out of that phase and became the sparkling beacon of light to the community at large that i am now... )

Yeah ... not long after I got married, my parents gave me copies of my old school reports. And if I was on the verge of being too hard on our kids growing up, my wife would threaten to share how much of a slacker I was at their age. Fortunately (for me) the school and college system I was in put huge emphasis on the final exam; and I was able to survive and thrive by slacking for most of the year and then cramming like crazy for the last quarter.

[Elessar78]

Whether it's dance, Little League or soccer, there is something a child can learn from that environment. Working together. Following instructions. Paying attention. Following through on a commitment. It's not all about learning 1st position in Ballet. Much like traditional sports, there are also scholarships to be had if they are good at it. The earlier you learn something, the better off you are down the line most of the time. Additionally, if I had a son, you better believe I'd enroll him in dance classes also.

I get paid to coach soccer and it's a big debate how early to start. 

 

The scholarship thing is a red herring. There are too few to make it worth the investment. Starting at age 9 through 18, a typical family may spend let's say $30K for high level soccer (tuition, travel, hotels, uniforms, etc) and that's the low-end. Most kids in the US that get a scholarship get a partial scholarship in D1. D2/D3 is even less likely as the money is not there. To "invest" 30K to get a 5% chance to get a few thousand dollars off a year off of college tuition—it's not a good play to make. Spend it because the kid wants to learn the sport, but scholarships should not be used as a justification. 

[SkinsHokieFan]

I get paid to coach soccer and it's a big debate how early to start. 

 

The scholarship thing is a red herring. There are too few to make it worth the investment. Starting at age 9 through 18, a typical family may spend let's say $30K for high level soccer (tuition, travel, hotels, uniforms, etc) and that's the low-end. Most kids in the US that get a scholarship get a partial scholarship in D1. D2/D3 is even less likely as the money is not there. To "invest" 30K to get a 5% chance to get a few thousand dollars off a year off of college tuition—it's not a good play to make. Spend it because the kid wants to learn the sport, but scholarships should not be used as a justification. 

 

I think between elementary school, boy scouts (and all the costs that entailed), sports in elementary school and high school, a few camps here and there, and hiring some old guy from the mother country to teach my brother and I how to read the Quran when we were little, my parents spent a grand total of 1,000 dollars on me from age 5 to 18

[zoony]

Kids today have access to info in seconds that took us days to gather at the library. They can negotiate and plan events in seconds that took us hours.

That doesn't make them better just a product of their time.

And it doesn't make one crotchety or a curmudgeon to say that kids today have a hyper inflated self opinion fueled by over active insecure parents. It just makes you right.

Unless you think posting a picture of your lunch on Instagram praying for likes is normal well adjusted behavior

Louis ck might have the best take on kids and their cell phones of anyone

[rictus58]

I get paid to coach soccer and it's a big debate how early to start. 

 

The scholarship thing is a red herring. There are too few to make it worth the investment. Starting at age 9 through 18, a typical family may spend let's say $30K for high level soccer (tuition, travel, hotels, uniforms, etc) and that's the low-end. Most kids in the US that get a scholarship get a partial scholarship in D1. D2/D3 is even less likely as the money is not there. To "invest" 30K to get a 5% chance to get a few thousand dollars off a year off of college tuition—it's not a good play to make. Spend it because the kid wants to learn the sport, but scholarships should not be used as a justification. 

Let me assure you, I'm not spending, nor willing to, that kind of $ on anything. No matter how good my child is at something.

I'm just pointing out, there are scholarships available for that particular skill-set. And with much less competition than soccer or other traditional sports.

You post does point out how totally ridiculous this all has become. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent on sports by parents hoping their kid is the next in line for a deal from Nike.

My wife teaches dance at a rec dept. And people look down on it because it's Rec. Nevermind their product is better than a lot of studios we've seen.

Many kids would be better off learning how to work on cars at a young age.