NYT : An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow ( Woody Allan's step Daughter)

[JMS]

I thought this was a powerful letter.

 

http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/an-open-letter-from-dylan-farrow/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=1&

 

An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow

 

 

What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie? Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we’d go to Paris and I’d be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.

For as long as I could remember, my father had been doing things to me that I didn’t like. I didn’t like how often he would take me away from my mom, siblings and friends to be alone with him. I didn’t like it when he would stick his thumb in my mouth. I didn’t like it when I had to get in bed with him under the sheets when he was in his underwear. I didn’t like it when he would place his head in my naked lap and breathe in and breathe out. I would hide under beds or lock myself in the bathroom to avoid these encounters, but he always found me. These things happened so often, so routinely, so skillfully hidden from a mother that would have protected me had she known, that I thought it was normal. I thought this was how fathers doted on their daughters. But what he did to me in the attic felt different. I couldn’t keep the secret anymore.

When I asked my mother if her dad did to her what Woody Allen did to me, I honestly did not know the answer. I also didn’t know the firestorm it would trigger. I didn’t know that my father would use his sexual relationship with my sister to cover up the abuse he inflicted on me. I didn’t know that he would accuse my mother of planting the abuse in my head and call her a liar for defending me. I didn’t know that I would be made to recount my story over and over again, to doctor after doctor, pushed to see if I’d admit I was lying as part of a legal battle I couldn’t possibly understand. At one point, my mother sat me down and told me that I wouldn’t be in trouble if I was lying – that I could take it all back. I couldn’t. It was all true. But sexual abuse claims against the powerful stall more easily. There were experts willing to attack my credibility. There were doctors willing to gaslight an abused child.

After a custody hearing denied my father visitation rights, my mother declined to pursue criminal charges, despite findings of probable cause by the State of Connecticut – due to, in the words of the prosecutor, the fragility of the “child victim.” Woody Allen was never convicted of any crime. That he got away with what he did to me haunted me as I grew up. I was stricken with guilt that I had allowed him to be near other little girls. I was terrified of being touched by men. I developed an eating disorder. I began cutting myself. That torment was made worse by Hollywood. All but a precious few (my heroes) turned a blind eye. Most found it easier to accept the ambiguity, to say, “who can say what happened,” to pretend that nothing was wrong. Actors praised him at awards shows. Networks put him on TV. Critics put him in magazines. Each time I saw my abuser’s face – on a poster, on a t-shirt, on television – I could only hide my panic until I found a place to be alone and fall apart.

Last week, Woody Allen was nominated for his latest Oscar. But this time, I refuse to fall apart. For so long, Woody Allen’s acceptance silenced me. It felt like a personal rebuke, like the awards and accolades were a way to tell me to shut up and go away. But the survivors of sexual abuse who have reached out to me – to support me and to share their fears of coming forward, of being called a liar, of being told their memories aren’t their memories – have given me a reason to not be silent, if only so others know that they don’t have to be silent either.

Today, I consider myself lucky. I am happily married. I have the support of my amazing brothers and sisters. I have a mother who found within herself a well of fortitude that saved us from the chaos a predator brought into our home.

But others are still scared, vulnerable, and struggling for the courage to tell the truth. The message that Hollywood sends matters for them.

What if it had been your child, Cate Blanchett? Louis CK? Alec Baldwin? What if it had been you, Emma Stone? Or you, Scarlett Johansson? You knew me when I was a little girl, Diane Keaton. Have you forgotten me?

Woody Allen is a living testament to the way our society fails the survivors of sexual assault and abuse.

So imagine your seven-year-old daughter being led into an attic by Woody Allen. Imagine she spends a lifetime stricken with nausea at the mention of his name. Imagine a world that celebrates her tormenter.

Are you imagining that? Now, what’s your favorite Woody Allen movie?

 

 

[zoony]

Wow pretty powerful letter. I didnt realize he had abused her. I am vaguely familiar with Allen's marriage to his adopted daughter and that was creepy enough for me to never want anything to do with a Woody Allen movie. This seals it

[twa]

old news to me, but certainly worth repeating as he is celebrated yet again.

[LadySkinsFan]

I personally hate Woody Allen movies: self-absorbed, neurotic, misogynistic every last one of them. (I've never seen one all the way through, but what I've see when channel surfing is quite enough.)

 

I think that Dylan Farrow knows exactly what happened to her as a child, what happened (non-prosecution), and how she's had to deal with it all these years.  I'm sure it took many thousands of dollars in therapy for her to have emerged healthy enough to have a family of her own.  I can relate with her feelings of nausea, I have the same when I had sex with men, which stopped when I stopped having sex with men.  I feel for her, for her mother who has been vilified in the media, for her brothers and sisters who believe her.

[spjunkies]

The marriage to his daughter or whatever was nutty already, but when I read the details of this on tmz yesterday I was done. This monster is clearly a pedophile.

[zoony]

I personally hate Woody Allen movies: self-absorbed, neurotic, misogynistic every last one of them. (I've never seen one all the way through, but what I've see when channel surfing is quite enough.)

I think that Dylan Farrow knows exactly what happened to her as a child, what happened (non-prosecution), and how she's had to deal with it all these years.

I'm not sure i would outright believe the allegations had he not married his other daughter (not saying i would dismiss them either). The guy is clearly a predator though this is just too much to ignore.

Kind of like the Michael Jackson thing, just a preponderance of evidence. There's another pedophile who was glorified by our sick society

[USS Redskins]

I hope she can find some peace. It must be maddening how Hollywood has seemed to forgotten/forgiven him and celebrated him for years while she has been in hell. Glad she called out those actors.

[Corcaigh]

Then there's this ...

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/27/the-woody-allen-allegations-not-so-fast.html

[Spaceman Spiff]

I'm not sure i would outright believe the allegations had he not married his other daughter (not saying i would dismiss them either). The guy is clearly a predator though this is just too much to ignore.

Kind of like the Michael Jackson thing, just a preponderance of evidence. There's another pedophile who was glorified by our sick society

 

That's true.  Roman Polanski, also.  IIRC a few years ago he was up for some award and his Hollywood friends all came out and supported him.  Pretty sick.

[zoony]

Then there's this ...

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/27/the-woody-allen-allegations-not-so-fast.html

Good way for The Daily Beast to get hits. It's fun to play the role of the sceptic. You don't have to prove anything just try to take shots at all the existing evidence

[warskins65]

I hope she will never be haunted by that sick pervert again. I always thought Woody Allen movies where stupid anyways. I hope that Hollywood finaly calls him out on his criminal acts.

[Larry]

Good way for The Daily Beast to get hits. It's fun to play the role of the sceptic. You don't have to prove anything just try to take shots at all the existing evidence

Yeah, it's like they forgot the rule that says people are guilty unless you can prove that they aren't.

[Elessar78]

Wow my Heart breaks for her. I have two daughters and all I could think of last night was how to protect them from the world's POSs.

 

Legal question, how is she not up for libel suits by those stars she named? 

[Corcaigh]

You don't have to prove anything 

 

Are you talking about Mia Farrow and her claim against Woody Allen?

[twa]

 

Legal question, how is she not up for libel suits by those stars she named? 

 

how did she libel them?

 

doesn't sound like she would mind a hearing and they would have to prove actual malice towards them.

 

add

 

Her mother would have about as good a case to sue the writer of corgaighs link that alleged coaching or brainwashing....not much of case,and more money and adverse publicity risk for those stars.

[Going Commando]

I admire Woody Allen's films and I don't know what to make of the letter or the allegations of sexual abuse. If it's a lie, then Mia Farrow is a real **** because that is a terrible thing to lie about. And lie to your kid about no less.

[Elessar78]

how did she libel them?

 

doesn't sound like she would mind a hearing and they would have to prove actual malice towards them.

 

add

 

Her mother would have about as good a case to sue the writer of corgaighs link that alleged coaching or brainwashing....not much of case,and more money and adverse publicity risk for those stars.

She basically implies that she told them and they did nothing. 

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

 

Legal question, how is she not up for libel suits by those stars she named? 

 

Because a) it's next to impossible to libel a famous person and, she didn't really libel them under any definition.

[zoony]

Are you talking about Mia Farrow and her claim against Woody Allen?

Yah Woody Allen hasn't ever shown an unhealthy sexual interest in young girls in his family.

Add to that, abuse allegations are no big deal

Let's see, I'm rich, famous, and could have a different playboy model every night. Or pretty much any famous beautiful actress

Nah I will marry the frumpy (ugly) adopted daughter of my ex.

Nothing to see here folks I'm sure Allen is innocent. Maybe Corcaigh could post another link

[mcsluggo]

I think there is certainly a fairly good chance that he is guilty, and a 100% that he is creepy and that his marriage is creepy.

 

 

but i will also say that even without any malicious workings from Mia Farrow, it would be really really easy for for what she truly believed to be true to be impressed into the memories of a child...

 

when i talk with my daughters (8, 10 12) about stuff when they were 6 ... you get a bizzare mix of very vivid (and true) facts, mixed with very vivd (and wrong) facts, and a whole lot of weird cartoonish fill-in details.   It is part of the reason that child abuse, and particularly sexual abuse of children is so god-awful.  They really are completely open sponges.  Damage done then is deep, and awful. 

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

Has anyone ever watched Woody Allen's movie Manhattan? It may be the most awkward viewing experience you will ever have with a really good movie. (42 year old Allen is dating 17 year old Mariel Hemingway in it).

 

My thoughts:

 

1. I don't know if these allegations are true. They were hashed out in the press 20 years ago and nothing ever came of it. I suspect they are, but I also know that Mia Farrow really really really really really hates Woody Allen. So, take that as you will.

 

2. His actions with Soon Yi don't exactly build a strong case for him. The fact that he has been allowed to adopt children since then is really unbelievable.

 

3. My less than stellar defense of Allen would be that he seems to like girls in that 16/17/18 year range. His first marriage was to a sixteen year old. Mia Farrow always looked like a sixteen-year old. It seems the "relationship" with Soon Yi started when she was 16. And Manhattan is specifically about this. So...I need a shower now, because this is gross.

 

4. I still like Woody Allen movies even though I think he should probably have served prison time. I tend to separate the art from the artist in a way that be upsetting to others. I do have a hard time watching the films with Mia Farrow now. There's just too much reality on the screen now.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

 

when i talk with my daughters (8, 10 12) about stuff when they were 6 ... you get a bizzare mix of very vivid (and true) facts, mixed with very vivd (and wrong) facts, and a whole lot of weird cartoonish fill-in details.   It is part of the reason that child abuse, and particularly sexual abuse of children is so god-awful.  They really are completely open sponges.  Damage done then is deep, and awful. 

 

A part of me wonders about this too. Mia Farrow is a strange bird and she really really really hates Woody Allen.

 

Woody Allen is a weird man who definitely seems to have a warped sense of boundaries.

 

Dylan Farrow was a child adopted from troubled circumstances.

 

If you wanted to plant a horrible story about someone, this is a pretty good petri dish of circumstances to have that story grow.

[twa]

 

but i will also say that even without any malicious workings from Mia Farrow, it would be really really easy for for what she truly believed to be true to be impressed into the memories of a child...

 

 

 

 

There are certainly cases of it happening,even by professionals supposedly.

 

I was sexually assaulted at 5 and even now parts are all too vivid and others beyond recall....I give her the benefit of doubt

anyone that abused a child or would falsely impress such memories is beyond my comprehension.

[alexey]

I don't like Woody Allen's work, and I do not like child molesters. If Woody Allen is a child molester, then I don't like him as a person.

Whether or not he is a child molester is best determined by people who are professionals in determining such things. I don't care either way. What sucks is a fact that child molesters exist.

[Corcaigh]

Add to that, abuse allegations are no big deal

 

 

Yeah, that was the point I was trying to make. 

 

I've worked with a family whose elementary school aged kids, as part of a very nasty custody battle, were coached by their mother to testify that their father abused them. The father served time but was later acquitted on appeal.

 

The kids (now adults) have absolutely no idea whether they were abused or not. They can't separate what they 'remember' from reality. They know at least some of what they believed to be true is false, as one of the stories implanted by the mother definitely didn't happen due to an alibi.

 

I think Woody Allen is, at best, a creep. But the circumstances of the custody battle and Mia Farrow's contemptible ethics herself, I'd give Allen the benefit of the doubt as an investigation cleared him. And it's not as if prosecutors don't like to press charges in cases like this.