Is ok to take a girl to a nice/expensive restaurant on a first date?

[Capt. Kaos]

My question is this:

If you take her to a nice/expensive place on the first date where are you going on your second date?

How about special occasions from here on out?

Over the years I have found that a nice simple first date is almost always a better option than an elaborate affair.

I like a dinner at a nice quiet local place followed by a drink at a nice bar with music as a backdrop not as the main event.

I stay away from busy, loud places. I also will attempt to find new places, I don't want to walk into a familiar place and

have the bartender know me by name.

Good Luck, just remember the hard parts over.

[Chump Bailey]

Sure, there's nice and then over-the-top. Nothing too extragavant at first is likely a very good starting point.

[Warpath11]

i dont think its too big of a deal but personally I'd stay away from something really facny on the first date. Go somewhere that is middle-of-the-road type place (not Outback) and focus on conversation/chemistry.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

My question is this:

If you take her to a nice/expensive place on the first date where are you going on your second date?

How about special occasions from here on out?

If you have the type of girl that you're most likely looking for (not shallow), I don't think it really matters. A second date can be simple and they might just have enjoyed the fun of a first date at a nice restaurant.

[KDawg]

Yes by all means give up all your advantages and throw yourself on her mercy... Get her to tell you where she wants to be taken... Hope the woman has more of a clue than the man does.....

Here's your issue. You think of dating as a power play, as evidenced by this statement.

Here's a hint: It's not.

If you have to have an "advantage" on your first date, you're not with the right person.

I see what you're saying, though, compromise and doing something both of you would enjoy, and knowing that to be fact, is such a bad thing to have happen.

[SloppyOneXXVI]

Took my future wife to Jaleo (tapas place) for our first date. Good opportunity to share food and get a little chemistry without being awkward. After that we went to Cozi's and made s'mores together. A fun "remember when" activity that lightened the mood after a quasi-formal dinner.

Not super fancy, but MUCH nicer than Outback.

[Elessar78]

You don't really impress "the right kinda girl" through price points of the wine list or the entrees.

Do you go to this nice restaurant regularly? Have some good food, good wine in a fun atmosphere. Not all pricey places are stuffy.

Also going to a nice restaurant ups the ante for her and you. You want to be relaxed. You want her to be relaxed. It's hard to do when she has to get really dressed up and go to an environment where one has to mind their manners and figure out which is the salad fork and what price entree she should get so she doesn't look like a freeloader.

How about this, go to a moderately priced place (read: better than Outback) and spend a lot of money. There are a lot of places in the DC area where you can wear jeans and get a great meal AND spend $120 for dinner, wine, and dessert.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

Here's your issue. You think of dating as a power play, as evidenced by this statement.

Here's a hint: It's not.

If you have to have an "advantage" on your first date, you're not with the right person.

I see what you're saying, though, compromise and doing something both of you would enjoy, and knowing that to be fact, is such a bad thing to have happen.

Right...you shouldn't be trying to trick a girl you're going on a date with or anything like that.

[Tulane Skins Fan]

You lucked out.... Evidently your future wife likes hockey, or was desperately attracted to you... I don't recommend "showing her me" until you get to know her a little bit.

I mean if the shoe was on the other foot and She took you to a MaMia performance because she likes ABA and you discerned in the first act you were the only straight man in the crowd not shrieking when Dancing Queen was sung... would you then apprieciate her showing you her?

Dude, in marriage it's really not about enjoying everything your wife enjoys or visa verse. My wife enjoys pedicures... has from day one... I personally didn't start enjoying them until year 10 or so.... would that have been a deal breaker on a first date? probable....

Oh and you'll know the answer to the first statement when in year 2 of your marriage and your wife suddenly stops watching hockey with you. It will happen... Then you will know you totally got played and she is the female version of me.. A woman with a plan and going about her plan... She was getting to know you while you were watching hockey... sitting back and observing.

Which isn't a bad thing... The woman being the smarter more focused one in a relationship is often times a good thing... The problems occur though when the man suddelny realizes that and fights it..

Wow, not sure what to make of this.

First off, my fiance hates sports and never watches any sporting event with me. She somewhat likes going to games, but really only hockey about once a year and a few baseball games when its nice to be outside.

The point was not to get her to act like me, but to show her what I'm like. If you really are against being yourself in your marriage, then i'd suggest you probably aren't in a very good marriage. Being yourself doesn't mean you don't put your wife before yourself either, but it just means that you don't take someone to the opera on your first date if you're never gonna go there again.

And to the Mammia point of your post, the answer is YES. Of course I would appreciate her showing me that. If she didn't show me that, and then in year two of her marriage all of a sudden she was telling me she wanted to go to musicals every week, I'd be a little confused. I'd much rather her show me herself before we get married. It doesn't mean we have to like everything that the other likes. It means that we should know what each other like going into marriage.

I sense a lot of anger in your post, so I'm not sure what that's about.

Edit:

I've read a few of your other posts, and I think you seriously misunderstand romantic relationships. Or, you aren't explaining yourself clearly. Or your are being silly. Not sure what it is, but people should be comfortable with themselves and with showing others themselves if the relationship is going to work. :2cents:

[Sticksboi05]

I could never marry a woman who doesn't at least partially like sports.

[Tulane Skins Fan]

I could never marry a woman who doesn't at least partially like sports.

Haha... she tolerates it. Truthfully, in some ways she saves me from having to watch the Nats lose 100 games a year... You get a lot of your life back.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

I could never marry a woman who doesn't at least partially like sports.

Most women "partially" like sports. My wife doesn't sit through everything with me, but she likes college football and doesn't mind watching some pro football with me. During March Madness or if I want to catch a few innings of a baseball game, we just spend some time apart. It's really not that big a deal.

[boysetsfire]

I could never marry a woman who doesn't at least partially like sports.

An ex that I was with for a year or so hated sports and it was always a hassle (argument waiting to happen) whenever I would try and watch a game. She ended up being this psycho control freak so looking back now I have no idea why I stayed with her for so long.

[Tulane Skins Fan]

An ex that I was with for a year or so hated sports and it was always a hassle (argument waiting to happen) whenever I would try and watch a game. She ended up being this psycho control freak so looking back now I have no idea why I stayed with her for so long.

What you should have done is pretended you didn't like sports the whole time, married her, and figured it out in year two.

[Sticksboi05]

Most women "partially" like sports. My wife doesn't sit through everything with me, but she likes college football and doesn't mind watching some pro football with me. During March Madness or if I want to catch a few innings of a baseball game, we just spend some time apart. It's really not that big a deal.

Honestly it's probably a good thing. I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone who takes sports as seriously as I do lol. It'd get bad. And what you described would be ideal. I'm talking "I hate it and won't even watch it for your sake for 5 minutes" hatred.

[joe]

Nice, yes, expensive, not necessarily. Go to Washingtonian and check out the choices there. Pick something that you are comfortable with. Make sure you have directions or a GPS because there is nothing worse than getting lost. Although I did and we've been married 32 years.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

Honestly it's probably a good thing. I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone who takes sports as seriously as I do lol. It'd get bad. And what you described would be ideal. I'm talking "I hate it and won't even watch it for your sake for 5 minutes" hatred.

Gotcha...that would be tough. Though, even that is OK as I don't really care who I'm watching with (or alone) in most cases. However, the thing I couldn't overcome would be the "I hate it and YOU can't watch" but luckily I doubt too many of those truly are able to exist. As a woman, you'd have to be awfully hot to pull off that act.

---------- Post added March-30th-2011 at 01:01 PM ----------

Nice, yes, expensive, not necessarily. Go to Washingtonian and check out the choices there. Pick something that you are comfortable with. Make sure you have directions or a GPS because there is nothing worse than getting lost. Although I did and we've been married 32 years.

You showed your vulnerable side. Brilliant.

[matty dread]

On a first date I would probably go with a more modest type of place. High end joints can be a little stuffy and intimidating if you're not used to them, better yet just ask her where she likes to go!

[zoony]

Do what you're comfortable with. Seriously.

I think this is good advice. If you're used to eating at swanky restaurants, do that. Above all, be confident in whatever you're doing. She's already into you, just up to you not to **** it up.

[renaissance]

From a female perspective, just stay casual and low key on the first date. My last first date was dinner, a terrible movie, and drinks. Dinner was probably no more than $25 for the 2 of us.

Our second date was going to a bar to watch a Caps game, then going to a DC United game w/ a bunch of friends.

Oh, and if the girl doesn't offer to pay on the first date, she's not worth your time. Don't let her pay, but she should offer.

[KDawg]

Don't let her pay, but she should offer.

Says the female

Baaah, but she's right

[zoony]

Oh, and if the girl doesn't offer to pay on the first date, she's not worth your time. Don't let her pay, but she should offer.

Really?? That's a pretty tough standard. I don't think I ever had a date offer to pay. Of course, I haven't dated in almost 10 years.

[Westbrook36]

One time I took a girl to a fancy dinner for a first date. It was a restaurant in Honolulu that was at the top of a building that had glass windows from ceiling to floor all the way around. White table cloths, 50 dollar plus entrees, the whole nine yards.

Man, was it expensive. Then, after thinking about it, over the next 24 hours, it only wound up being like 20 dollars per time that I ejaculated. I can't even get a subscription for a month on a good smut site for that amount. All in all, it was a good return on investment.

[MissU28]

I like the "boring" dinner and a movie. But yeah, scratch Outback. Also, scratch Ruth's Chris or something crazy expensive. Go somewhere like Coastal Flatts or Swee****er Tavern or one of those more interesting "chains." You can also never go wrong with Clyde's.

[TD_washingtonredskins]

One time I took a girl to a fancy dinner for a first date. It was a restaurant in Honolulu that was at the top of a building that had glass windows from ceiling to floor all the way around. White table cloths, 50 dollar plus entrees, the whole nine yards.

Man, was it expensive. Then, after thinking about it, over the next 24 hours, it only wound up being like 20 dollars per time that I ejaculated. I can't even get a subscription for a month on a good smut site for that amount. All in all, it was a good return on investment.

Usually after a big, expensive meal...I'm way too tired to service myself. Good for you!