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Donovan McNabb: 'I'd Like To Thank The Ungrateful, Over-Expecting,Oftentimes-Racist Fans Of Philadelphia' (The Onion)

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drums and skins

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WASHINGTON—During an emotionally charged press conference Monday, newly minted Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb expressed gratitude to the unappreciative, abusive, and intolerant fans of the Philadelphia Eagles for their total lack of support over the years. "I'd like to thank all the Eagles fans who were always there to demand the whole world from me every week, who expected me to do everything with almost nothing, and who blamed me for the team's every failure," said the six-time Pro Bowler, who also apologized for his failure to shore up the Eagles defense and his inability to keep Brian Westbrook healthy while leading the team to five NFC championship games. "I can't thank them enough for the constant insults or tell you what their lack of support meant to me when Rush Limbaugh made racist comments about me. My only regret, besides every ****ing awful moment of the past 11 years, is that I couldn't give these people what they wanted most: drafting Ricky Williams back in 1999. No fans deserved it more." McNabb then wished probable Eagles starting QB Kevin Kolb luck winning the next 25 Super Bowls "because nothing else will be enough," gave all Philly fans the finger "because I can't give them all cancer," sighed with pleasure, and went to turn in his Eagles playbook to the Redskins' defensive coordinators.

God I do love The Onion :ols:

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illone

illone

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Bee-yoo-tee-full! :ols:

Welcome to DC, Donovan. We're pretty whacked ourselves at times, but we ain't nowhere near as mental as most philly fans. :silly:

McNabb is going to be loved in DC if the Skins win and he'll be boo'd if he loses, just like any other QB to ever come through DC.

My bet is he is a fan favorite by week 8:ols:

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Wyvern

Wyvern

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McNabb is going to be loved in DC if the Skins win and he'll be boo'd if he loses, just like any other QB to ever come through DC.

My bet is he is a fan favorite by week 8:ols:

I think he's easily going to look good by comparison to the previous performances the Skins fans had gotten used to.
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JoeKnowsBest

JoeKnowsBest

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This is too funny.

I've always liked McNabb and never understood why he was so unappreciated in Philly. I'm glad we got his happy go lucky self here in Washington D.C. Keep smiling and cracking jokes, Donovan!

PS: I'd like a cheeseburger with that onion if you don't mind, OP. :ols:

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jflow78

jflow78

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That is awesome. When I was watching the press conference I was thinking all that stuff. Man, I wonder if he's relieved to be out of Philly just because of the fans. Funny thing is, for a city that hasn't really had much success, you'd think they'd appreciate a QB that got wins more.

My favorite part was him apologizing for not being able to keep Westbrook healthy, and the last line, "and went to turn in his Eagles playbook to the Redskins' defensive coordinators." :ols:

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