LL: Sex on The Third Date?

[GibbsFactor]

*****, what is this? A romantic comedy? This is reality and I'm horny!

[Rdskn4Lyf21]

Sex is vastly overrated. The media hypes it up so much that as a teen you think your missing out on something so awesome, but when you rush into it outside of the bonds of a committed marriage and things just don't last.

When I was dating I was looking for a companion for life, not one not flings.

I wouldn't go as far as calling it "overrated", but I'm the same way.

I understand what you are saying, but it can be twisted too easily

[RedskinFeathers]

That's a great point you make. Sex is made to be such a huge deal, that it becomes taboo, especially for women. It's a shame, people are meant to feel, well, shame from the conscience decision to have sex. It can be a wonderful act of sharing love, between two people and it can also be made to be just a fun time.

I eat three times a day, but it doesn't always have to be a three course meal.

Seriously. I grew up in a very Catholic Irish family and went to private Catholic school until college...however, sex is great. It's fun. I honestly cannot see a reason for people to dislike it. I understand the religious part of it, if that's your belief fine, but don't tell me what I can and can't do with my sex life simply because you want to miss out until your married. If that's what you choose, good for you, but don't judge me.

Maybe it's cause I don't believe that sex should [always] be this one holy, spiritual union between a man and a woman like I was taught [which obviously gets me into many an argument with the religious folk].

There is a difference between making love and having sex.

You risk a serious amount of pain and drama if you two aren't on the same page with that part of the relationship, and it can get weirder when it changes without some kinda communication as to why.

Three months of dating before sex? You might as well put my balls in a vice grip and make me knit mittens with you.

:ols: @ the mitten comment.

But yeah, for a lot of people sex is a big part of relationships - it usually affects things a lot, especially if people aren't on the same page with it. People just tend to not like to admit how important it can be to a relationship. But not only can it spice things up, it can bring people closer together. It really can be a pretty spectacular thing.

As for the double standard, I'm not asking for some huge "sexual revolution." I would just prefer to not have women judged or labeled as "sluts" or whatever when they go home with a guy from the bar...what about the dude? Why is it cool for him to take the chick home but not vice versa?

Girls got the short end of the stick on that one.

Sex is vastly overrated.

Sorry dude, this is just wrong.

[mjah]

Sex is vastly overrated.

:secret: You're doing it wrong, or not at all.

[Slacky McSlackAss]

:secret: You're doing it wrong, or not at all.

My guess is the latter.

[desioreo87]

Yea sex is a great thing. Of course there are two different kinds: ****ing and making love. The first one people have their own opinions about, but the second one is greatly important in a strong relationship. It enhances your quality of life, relieves stress, and it allows you to express your emotions with the person you are intimate with. there is nothing wrong with sex.

[milellie111]

Seriously. I grew up in a very Catholic Irish family and went to private Catholic school until college...however, sex is great. It's fun. I honestly cannot see a reason for people to dislike it. I understand the religious part of it, if that's your belief fine, but don't tell me what I can and can't do with my sex life simply because you want to miss out until your married. If that's what you choose, good for you, but don't judge me.

Maybe it's cause I don't believe that sex should [always] be this one holy, spiritual union between a man and a woman like I was taught [which obviously gets me into many an argument with the religious folk].

There is a difference between making love and having sex.

:ols: @ the mitten comment.

But yeah, for a lot of people sex is a big part of relationships - it usually affects things a lot, especially if people aren't on the same page with it. People just tend to not like to admit how important it can be to a relationship. But not only can it spice things up, it can bring people closer together. It really can be a pretty spectacular thing.

As for the double standard, I'm not asking for some huge "sexual revolution." I would just prefer to not have women judged or labeled as "sluts" or whatever when they go home with a guy from the bar...what about the dude? Why is it cool for him to take the chick home but not vice versa?

Girls got the short end of the stick on that one.

Sorry dude, this is just wrong.

No one is telling you what or what not to do. We are all free moral agents and can make our own decisions. But with that comes responsibility. Just like you can get drunk and go out and drive 100 miles per hour. No one will stop you and you are free to do as you please, but there will be consequences. Just as if you try to defy the physical laws of gravity and jump off a cliff expecting to float, no you will kill yourself. The same with defying moral laws, they can be just as disastrous.

You might think that it's old fashioned to follow the bible and moral laws that were set forth, but ask all of the people with STD's, unwanted pregnancies, children out of wedlock etc. if having sex with whomever you want whenever you want was worth that 10 minutes of pleasure (more or less)

It takes maturity to have self control and realize the big picture of things. Yes, people may laugh at this because nothing has happened to them, but it is true, you do reap what you sow either now or later down the line when you'll have regrets but can't take back what you did in the past.

People can laugh and jeer, that's fine, but it doesn't change facts.

Oh, and by the way: (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)".*.*.What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators(sex outside of marriage), nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, 10*nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom."

[RedskinFeathers]

No one is telling you what or what not to do. We are all free moral agents and can make our own decisions. But with that comes responsibility. Just like you can get drunk and go out and drive 100 miles per hour. No one will stop you and you are free to do as you please, but there will be consequences. Just as if you try to defy the physical laws of gravity and jump off a cliff expecting to float, no you will kill yourself. The same with defying moral laws, they can be just as disastrous.

You might think that it's old fashioned to follow the bible and moral laws that were set forth, but ask all of the people with STD's, unwanted pregnancies, children out of wedlock etc. if having sex with whomever you want whenever you want was worth that 10 minutes of pleasure (more or less)

It takes maturity to have self control and realize the big picture of things. Yes, people may laugh at this because nothing has happened to them, but it is true, you do reap what you sow either now or later down the line when you'll have regrets but can't take back what you did in the past.

People can laugh and jeer, that's fine, but it doesn't change facts.

Oh, and by the way: (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)".*.*.What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators(sex outside of marriage), nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, 10*nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom."

Well thanks for the Bible quote and the warnings about having premarital sex.

I am very aware of the repercussions of having premarital sex [probably more so than the average person], however it's a risk I don't mind taking. You can go ahead and tell me there's no such thing as "100% safe sex" but I can guarantee you if you aren't stupid about it, you really shouldn't have much to worry about.

And people do try to tell you what to do/not do. You quoted the Bible telling me NOT to.

I believe many things in the Bible, but I've also come to realize that just because I disagree with something doesn't make me a bad person. It's a personal choice that really shouldn't affect anyone other than whomever I choose to sleep with.

And 10 minutes? :ols:

But I digress, this is not a religion thread - it's a sex on the third date thread. So back on topic....

[Slacky McSlackAss]

You might think that it's old fashioned to follow the bible and moral laws that were set forth, but ask all of the people with STD's, unwanted pregnancies, children out of wedlock etc. if having sex with whomever you want whenever you want was worth that 10 minutes of pleasure (more or less)

You only need half a brain to realize that you don't have a condom on. Any idiot who trusts a girl who isn't a serious girlfriend when she says "I'm clean" or "I'm on birth control" deserves to be put through that pain. Maybe he'll learn his lesson next time and not be a ****ing dumbass.

[mjah]

Just as if you try to defy the physical laws of gravity and jump off a cliff expecting to float, no you will kill yourself. The same with defying moral laws, they can be just as disastrous.

So to be clear: sex outside the bond of marriage is akin to literally jumping off a cliff? You've identified it as "just as if" territory so you seem to be making a clear comparison.

Could you please point me to these moral "laws" to which you refer? No Bible links, thanks -- I'm asking for something more, um... shall we say, meritocratic.

You might think that it's old fashioned to follow the bible and moral laws that were set forth, but ask all of the people with STD's, unwanted pregnancies, children out of wedlock etc. if having sex with whomever you want whenever you want was worth that 10 minutes of pleasure (more or less)

Uh, okay, but also ask the people who held out until marriage only to discover that their dishonest spouse had an STD, or who were cheated on by their spouse and caught an STD, or who were raped and ended up with HIV or their attacker's child.

Ask them if living an honest, by-the-Book life eliminated all sex-related risk. Ask them if their own personal decisions were the only factor in, as you put it, "reaping what you sow."

I expect we'd agree that the risks of suffering "jumping off a cliff" results aren't limited to the morally imperfect who engage in what you'd call "jumping off a cliff" activities. So can you and I also agree that your call for by-the-Book piety is really just a probabilistic argument which tries to prescribe an ideal (interestingly, non-zero) one-size-fits-all value for personal risk tolerance?

After all, never having sex -- not even within the bonds of marriage -- would reduce the odds of certain sex-related negative outcomes even further. Yet you aren't suggesting that people go to that extreme. Does the deceived wife "reap what she sows" by catching herpes from her cheating husband? After all, she could have eliminated that risk... just as the unmarried "fornicator" could have refused to trust her boyfriend when he said, "I'm clean."

Oh, and by the way: (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)".*.*.What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators(sex outside of marriage), nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, 10*nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom."

Okay, I'm totally on board with that. But don't stop there, or people might forget the punishment for a new wife who is found not to be a virgin:

Deuteronomy 22:20-1 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.

Moral law, indeed. Is this what skinsgirl26 deserves if she gets married someday?

[mjah]

You only need half a brain to realize that you don't have a condom on. Any idiot who trusts a girl who isn't a serious girlfriend when she says "I'm clean" or "I'm on birth control" deserves to be put through that pain. Maybe he'll learn his lesson next time and not be a ****ing dumbass.

I'm wondering whether you'll get a "condoms aren't 100% perfect at preventing disease" response to that.

I'd find that interesting, because abstinence until marriage isn't 100% perfect at preventing disease either -- yet I doubt you'd see that fact mentioned in the reply.

So very naughty, that probability thing... always complicating matters.

[Hubbs]

Third date? Jesus, what are these Mormons waiting for?

Someone needs to ship them some Barry White CDs.

[RichmondRedskin88]

Sex is vastly overrated.

[Destino]

I get a kick out of these petty sexist themed threads. Will a woman bang you on the first date? The question itself is sexist. It doesn't consider for an instant that perhaps she wants to get laid. It's 2010 the moronic notion that women don't have a sex drive that matches (and be honest guys, EXCEEDS the male counter part) should be long dead. They aren't delicate flowers and they aren't saving themselves for some douchebag that already sowed his wild oats... whatever the hell that means.

If she's trying to get laid and you don't scare her off you'll get it on the first date. If she's trying to impress your petty ass with the song and dance about how pure she is she'll play the same game with ass that you play with phones calls.... oh lordy when to call and not look desperate.

[Kosher Ham]

3 dates, I have been saying that for years. I guess some of these women actually started to listen.

Good for them.

And 3 months is out of the question and idiotic. Why would I waste 3 months with someone only to find out that we were not compatible in bed. That would be horrific and even more devastating when I would stop seeing her.

Or the flip side wait 3 months and it was completely amazing, then I would be bitter in my mind and think, why the hell haven't we been doing this all along.

[Koolblue13]

Yea sex is a great thing. Of course there are two different kinds: ****ing and making love. The first one people have their own opinions about, but the second one is greatly important in a strong relationship..

A- I don't care for the two types myth. It's all sex and it's all good.

B- Great sex should be a small part of a serious relationship, but bad sex is a huge part.

*****, what is this? A romantic comedy? This is reality and I'm horny!

Edit to this. Nice.

Seriously. I grew up in a very Catholic Irish family

Catholic School Girl.

Why is it cool for him to take the chick home but not vice versa?

I had to make a conscience decision to stop using the word "slut", but I did and it's payed off well.

[Koolblue13]

Maybe he'll learn his lesson next time and not be a ****ing dumbass.

Maybe I will. I've been "SA" for 20 years and never responsible for the most part and I have nothing and never had. I've enjoyed it too.

[pointyfootball]

I went to college, so I can't claim complete innocence. However, sometimes I think society trivializes sex. It's easy to mock people who maybe do want to try and wait for awhile in a relationship, but maybe they should be commended instead of laughed at. Throwing it around anytime you feel like it probably isn't how it was intended to be used, and IMO, has deeper emotional and societal impact than people recognize. Not saying people HAVE to wait until marriage, although that would solve a lot of problems in this world, just that even waiting until you are in a serious relationship would help solve some of those problems.

For those that think they need to find out whether or not they are "sexually compatible" with a partner before getting too far in their relationship, IMO if you are making that a major reason on continuing with a woman, you'll most likely be disappointed months/years down the road. Similar to dating a hot woman only because she's gorgeous; eventually that'll fade, and will you be happy with what is left?

Preacher PF

[Veretax]

Wow, some of you guys have apparently become so.... what's the word... hedonistic, perhaps? That all you care about is pleasing yourselves as early and often as you can.

I really feel sorry for some of you. There is so much more fullfillment in this life than just sex. I'm not saying its not fun or pleasureable, but even studies show at some point sex with that same partner becomes a bit shall we say repetitive, old or normal, and then that thrill of lustful conquest basically goes out the window.

Listen, I didn't intend to get into an argument about sexual morality from scripture, yet clearly some of you are so hostile to the truth of God's word that you attack people on this board who only want what's best for you. Sure you can use condomns, take birth control, use IEDs and not get pregnant. It may reduce the risk of an STD too, but that's still only half the point.

Sex is meant for marriage, bar none. When you have relations with another person it isn't some one time thing there are clear emotional and spiritual attachments that grow between you and that person. For as it is written: "24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Gen 2:24

There are more risks involved with sex outside the bonds of marriage than just pregnancy and infection. You can try to deny it all you want, but sex ties you to a person in a very intimate and lasting way. You can try to sleep around with a solitary or multiple partners but sex has consequences for the heart. Even with protection and the belief of invincibility there is guilt and there is fear.

The funny thing is sexual intercourse isn't the only way to contract an STD anyways. Its the most common thought of for sure, but let me be frank. Lust can't wait to get, Love can't wait to give. So next time you indulge in extra marital affairs of that sort consider....Am I doing this for me for my pleasure? Or am I doing it for my partner?

You can mock the bible, you can mock me and other Christians. You may even think its funny that some of us are 'so old fashioned' as to even bring up the bible which you view is outdated. You are entitled to your opinion, but I assure God does not find humor in the pains you put your conscience, heart, and soul through in this manner. Sex has consequences, whether you like this fact because it comes from a biblical view point or not is irrelevant, frankly.

[Kosher Ham]

:munchout:

[milellie111]

Wow, some of you guys have apparently become so.... what's the word... hedonistic, perhaps? That all you care about is pleasing yourselves as early and often as you can.

I really feel sorry for some of you. There is so much more fullfillment in this life than just sex. I'm not saying its not fun or pleasureable, but even studies show at some point sex with that same partner becomes a bit shall we say repetitive, old or normal, and then that thrill of lustful conquest basically goes out the window.

Listen, I didn't intend to get into an argument about sexual morality from scripture, yet clearly some of you are so hostile to the truth of God's word that you attack people on this board who only want what's best for you. Sure you can use condomns, take birth control, use IEDs and not get pregnant. It may reduce the risk of an STD too, but that's still only half the point.

Sex is meant for marriage, bar none. When you have relations with another person it isn't some one time thing there are clear emotional and spiritual attachments that grow between you and that person. For as it is written: "24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Gen 2:24

There are more risks involved with sex outside the bonds of marriage than just pregnancy and infection. You can try to deny it all you want, but sex ties you to a person in a very intimate and lasting way. You can try to sleep around with a solitary or multiple partners but sex has consequences for the heart. Even with protection and the belief of invincibility there is guilt and there is fear.

The funny thing is sexual intercourse isn't the only way to contract an STD anyways. Its the most common thought of for sure, but let me be frank. Lust can't wait to get, Love can't wait to give. So next time you indulge in extra marital affairs of that sort consider....Am I doing this for me for my pleasure? Or am I doing it for my partner?

You can mock the bible, you can mock me and other Christians. You may even think its funny that some of us are 'so old fashioned' as to even bring up the bible which you view is outdated. You are entitled to your opinion, but I assure God does not find humor in the pains you put your conscience, heart, and soul through in this manner. Sex has consequences, whether you like this fact because it comes from a biblical view point or not is irrelevant, frankly.

Very well said.

[Corcaigh]

Wow ...

tl;dnr.

I get my sexual guidance from a talking snake. He's more concise. :evilg:

[TK]

Well I guess thanks to milellie111 I'll be seeing a lot of you ****ers in hell.

[milellie111]

Well thanks for the Bible quote and the warnings about having premarital sex.

I am very aware of the repercussions of having premarital sex [probably more so than the average person], however it's a risk I don't mind taking. You can go ahead and tell me there's no such thing as "100% safe sex" but I can guarantee you if you aren't stupid about it, you really shouldn't have much to worry about.

And people do try to tell you what to do/not do. You quoted the Bible telling me NOT to.

I believe many things in the Bible, but I've also come to realize that just because I disagree with something doesn't make me a bad person. It's a personal choice that really shouldn't affect anyone other than whomever I choose to sleep with.

And 10 minutes? :ols:

But I digress, this is not a religion thread - it's a sex on the third date thread. So back on topic....

Well thanks for the Bible quote and the warnings about having premarital sex.

You're welcome

I am very aware of the repercussions of having premarital sex [probably more so than the average person], however it's a risk I don't mind taking. You can go ahead and tell me there's no such thing as "100% safe sex" but I can guarantee you if you aren't stupid about it, you really shouldn't have much to worry about.

If it's "100% safe", then why not say you should have absolutely nothing to worry about instead of saying shouldn't have much to worry about?

And people do try to tell you what to do/not do. You quoted the Bible telling me NOT to.

Me quoting the bible is not people telling you what to do. It is your creator.

(2Tim 3:16) "All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness."

(Jeremiah 10:23) ". . .It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step."

I believe many things in the Bible, but I've also come to realize that just because I disagree with something doesn't make me a bad person.

You are not a bad person, and no one is judging you at all. But what was written was written and hasn't changed. The majority of the world abroad lives their "own life", does their "own" thing. Very few follow the written word. Many call it "free will", or "independence". Thats also what they called it in Noahs time and the city of Sodom and Gomorrah. Things didn't turn out so though.

There is no disagreeing with part of the bible and agreeing with part of it. You either agree with the whole thing or disagree with the whole thing. "All scripture is inspired of God", so disagreeing with part of it means you disagree with God.

Not my words or ideas or philosophies. Just what was written

But, millions in the world don't follow the bible and disagree with God, and many don't care. Thats fine. Some feel they would rather please themselves than please the creator. Thats fine to. Just as long as they recognize that and are not walking around with some false pretense that they can live however they want and God will still be cool with it.

It's a personal choice that really shouldn't affect anyone other than whomever I choose to sleep with.

Yes, it is personal choice. But it affects more than just the two people laying together. If there is a child to come out of it, it will affect him/her. Then, it will affect both of your families. But whether or not there is a child involved, it affects/offends your creator.

And 10 minutes? :ols:

Give or take

But I digress, this is not a religion thread - it's a sex on the third date thread. So back on topic....

This is true. So back on topic, i believe that those figures are sad but it's not surprising seeing the time period we are living in.

[Kosher Ham]

My parents wrote part of the Bible ? Holy ****...I better call them and tell them they never taught me this growing up.

Back on topic...by the third date there is certainly chemistry or not. Depending on your age, 3rd date seems about right for me.