The Parenting Thread II - Advice, Tips, Etc

[tshile]

@Dont Taze Me Bro

 

I don’t know what wireless router you have but many of the more recent ones have controls over internet time.  

 

You could make it request a quest a password so you know every time she has any device and is using any part of the internet

 

maybe that won’t work for you or you already know, just trying to be helpful

 

[China]

On 3/30/2018 at 12:16 PM, PleaseBlitz said:

 

I think this is my biggest fear.  We let my daughter watch Frozen and stuff on a tablet, in moderation.  What I fear is just the kind of things she'll be exposed to on the internet.  YouTube is bad enough, but right now she's 2.  In 10 years, who the **** knows what is going to be out there?  Mother****ers are eating Tide Pods today, in 10 years it's going to be ten times worse.  

 

"Condom Snorting Challenge" Is the Latest Ridiculous Teen Craze: What to Know

 

Because eating Tide Pods and butt chugging just weren’t enough to satisfy those thrill-seeking teens, a dangerous trend is re-emerging among high schoolers and sending parents into a frenzy: condom snorting.

 

Educators in the San Antonio area are now holding informative classes on the latest unnerving trend. The team of specialists is traveling to different school districts to teach parents how to discourage snorting condoms, even if it could result in internet fame.

 

Click on the link for the full article

[pjfootballer]

Dumbest generation in history. Yes, I said it. 

[Springfield]

28 minutes ago, pjfootballer said:

Dumbest generation in history. Yes, I said it. 

 

Only thanks to their parents.

[zCommander]

I have 3 kids. The 1st one was a honeymoon baby but the other two after my son were planned to be born before school starts. I wanted to make sure none of my kids missed a school year because they were born in Oct or Nov. So my kids have a Aug 2, 3 and Sept 3 birthday. Was really going for the July 3rd baby for the last one but I guess I missed the boat by a month...lol. All my kids are born exactly 4 years apart (planned that way). If you have 3-4 years difference between the kids then the sibling rivalry will be less and they will be fighting less over the same toy or clothes or friends. Learned that in child psych class. 

 

This distance also gives the parent to give proper attention to each kid at a time.

 

I started training my kids at the age of 9 months to not touch something on the table by teaching them the word hot and no. I would say hot and make a blowing sound at the same time like I am blowing the flames away. For the more persistence kid I would give them a slight tap on their hand and say no while shaking my head at the same time. This worked on all the 3 kids (my girls were a lot easier to train). The boy was less willing to listen but then my wife would give him the mean mom face....lol 

 

If one parent is disciplining the kid then the other parents need to just sit still and let the process to finish. The kids would come to me with a sad face after being in martial mom court...lol... I would tell them mom loves them and that they have to listen and follow the rules. 

 

So we did the good cop and bad cop bit. It worked for us. My kids are the most behaved and disciplined kids you will ever meet. Even today, they are now 19, 15 and 11, they will do whatever you tell them to do. For example, if my son is in the basement on his PS4 and I or my wife calls him for something he will put his game on pause (even if he is playing online with his friends) and come upstairs even if it just to get us some water. We just bought him iPhone X the other day. It is a small price to pay to have kids that respect their parents and don't talk back to them. The girls are the same way as well. 

 

I want to be clear that my kids are not spoiled. We gave them everything they needed and not what their friends or cousins had. Their grades determined what they can get. We don't pay our kids for doing chores around the house. We raised them and fed them and changed their diapers. They owe us now so to speak... lol  and they know that because they will get everything they want and more but on our terms. 

 

You can't let your child have their ways. They will pout and cry and you have to let them for a few minutes. Trust me, they will stop crying once they know that crying is not getting them what they want. The one time you give in to shut them up they have won and you have lost forever. 

 

It does gets a little easier as they go over 6 years. You can reason/teach with them on a higher level. Their demands now cost more...lol You still have to set a bar for that as well. 

 

We have never punished our kids by taking away their devices or sent them to their room for mis-behaving. Teaching them was more important to us. I believe if a kid knows that if they mis-behave then they will just go to their room and sit alone for a while. In their minds it is a small price to pay and they just get to be alone for a while. 

 

I have seen some parents fail because, they for whatever reason, give up too easily in the discipline department. I see these parents in stores when their 3 years old tells their mom to **** you. The mom was so embarrassed but the kid kept on saying the F word. 

 

In my house freak (the actual word and not ****) was not even a good word to say. I would say freaking and the kids would run to their mom and say "Dad just used the F word" lol

 

My wife would say please don't say that word and give me a mean look. This told the kids even dad gets disciplined. 

 

You have to be democratic and not authoritarian or too loose. If you are too strict then your kid will rebel. If you are too easy on them they will walk all over you and own you until you kick them out of the house. 

 

These are just some examples and I can go on for a long time but in the end not every advise will work on every kid. Each kid is born with their own set of stubborn genes. You will need to try a little harder to reset that gene. It will take a lot of patients to do that though. 

 

Happy Parenting.

[TheGoodBits]

Re free range kids, my mother in law is dealing with a couple rambunctious neighbor kids whose parents don’t supervise them outside the house. They run around, randomly come into my mother in law’s house, constantly are bugging them (they are two girls, approx 6 and 4, and my mother in law has a 7 year old son they like to play with). The pair is a menace. 

 

On Saturday I’m over there for Easter Dinner. The girls are there when we arrive and immediately try to help my two year old walk up the steps (hell no). They come in the house and start running around. I’m standing in the kitchen and someone asks who left the sliding door open (it was the girls), so I close the sliding screen door because it was nice. At the same time, my mother in law realizes the girls are there and tells them to go home because we’re about to eat dinner. Both of them take off like a bat out of hell and in the split second before it happened, I saw it coming but couldn’t react in time. The lead girl, the 4 year, smacks face first into the screen door in a dead sprint and was *rocked.* She didn’t know what hit her. Lucky it didn’t take out the door... pretty sure if it had been the older girl it would have. They leave and the whole room cracked up. The end. 

 

PS- free range kids are a menace to society/neighborhoods 

[Sacks 'n' Stuff]

How many of you are raising your kids to be Redskins fans and for those who are, how long have you hated your children?

Edited April 3, 2018 by Sacks 'n' Stuff

[Zguy28]

11 hours ago, pjfootballer said:

Dumbest generation in history. Yes, I said it. 

 

10 hours ago, zskins said:

I have 3 kids. The 1st one was a honeymoon baby but the other two after my son were planned to be born before school starts. I wanted to make sure none of my kids missed a school year because they were born in Oct or Nov. So my kids have a Aug 2, 3 and Sept 3 birthday. Was really going for the July 3rd baby for the last one but I guess I missed the boat by a month...lol. All my kids are born exactly 4 years apart (planned that way). If you have 3-4 years difference between the kids then the sibling rivalry will be less and they will be fighting less over the same toy or clothes or friends. Learned that in child psych class. 

 

This distance also gives the parent to give proper attention to each kid at a time.

 

I started training my kids at the age of 9 months to not touch something on the table by teaching them the word hot and no. I would say hot and make a blowing sound at the same time like I am blowing the flames away. For the more persistence kid I would give them a slight tap on their hand and say no while shaking my head at the same time. This worked on all the 3 kids (my girls were a lot easier to train). The boy was less willing to listen but then my wife would give him the mean mom face....lol 

 

If one parent is disciplining the kid then the other parents need to just sit still and let the process to finish. The kids would come to me with a sad face after being in martial mom court...lol... I would tell them mom loves them and that they have to listen and follow the rules. 

 

So we did the good cop and bad cop bit. It worked for us. My kids are the most behaved and disciplined kids you will ever meet. Even today, they are now 19, 15 and 11, they will do whatever you tell them to do. For example, if my son is in the basement on his PS4 and I or my wife calls him for something he will put his game on pause (even if he is playing online with his friends) and come upstairs even if it just to get us some water. We just bought him iPhone X the other day. It is a small price to pay to have kids that respect their parents and don't talk back to them. The girls are the same way as well. 

 

I want to be clear that my kids are not spoiled. We gave them everything they needed and not what their friends or cousins had. Their grades determined what they can get. We don't pay our kids for doing chores around the house. We raised them and fed them and changed their diapers. They owe us now so to speak... lol  and they know that because they will get everything they want and more but on our terms. 

 

You can't let your child have their ways. They will pout and cry and you have to let them for a few minutes. Trust me, they will stop crying once they know that crying is not getting them what they want. The one time you give in to shut them up they have won and you have lost forever. 

 

It does gets a little easier as they go over 6 years. You can reason/teach with them on a higher level. Their demands now cost more...lol You still have to set a bar for that as well. 

 

We have never punished our kids by taking away their devices or sent them to their room for mis-behaving. Teaching them was more important to us. I believe if a kid knows that if they mis-behave then they will just go to their room and sit alone for a while. In their minds it is a small price to pay and they just get to be alone for a while. 

 

I have seen some parents fail because, they for whatever reason, give up too easily in the discipline department. I see these parents in stores when their 3 years old tells their mom to **** you. The mom was so embarrassed but the kid kept on saying the F word. 

 

In my house freak (the actual word and not ****) was not even a good word to say. I would say freaking and the kids would run to their mom and say "Dad just used the F word" lol

 

My wife would say please don't say that word and give me a mean look. This told the kids even dad gets disciplined. 

 

You have to be democratic and not authoritarian or too loose. If you are too strict then your kid will rebel. If you are too easy on them they will walk all over you and own you until you kick them out of the house. 

 

These are just some examples and I can go on for a long time but in the end not every advise will work on every kid. Each kid is born with their own set of stubborn genes. You will need to try a little harder to reset that gene. It will take a lot of patients to do that though. 

 

Happy Parenting.

This is pretty much the approach my wife and I take. Although we haven't always been on the same page, sometimes I'm too soft and she's too hard. That caused us lots of marital problems. Once we figured that out, the respect comes. Consistency and discipline are key. Kudos friend!

9 hours ago, Sacks 'n' Stuff said:

How many of you are raising your kids to be Redskins fans and for those who are, how long have you hated your children?

My 17 yo is a Pat's fan because his grandparents live in Mass. He pretends to like the Skins too I think out of sympathy for me.

[Springfield]

10 hours ago, Sacks 'n' Stuff said:

How many of you are raising your kids to be Redskins fans and for those who are, how long have you hated your children?

 

As long as they don’t root for the Eagles, Cowboys or Giants they can stay under the roof I provide for them.

[tshile]

11 hours ago, Sacks 'n' Stuff said:

How many of you are raising your kids to be Redskins fans and for those who are, how long have you hated your children?

 

My kid is two. He thinks every football team is the redskins. In fact, he things both teams in a game is the redskins. "I want to watch the two redskins" is what he says. He's been to a few games already.

 

I don't expect him to be a redskins fan. In fact, given what I see with the youth today, I don't even expect him to be a football fan. 

 

I don't even know if he'll grow up in a house where the redskins games rule sunday afternoons. As i get older and have more going on, and the team continues to show itself to be run in incompetent fashion, I care less and less. I stopped following the news on the team a year or two ago when it became obvious Cousins was not being retained for reasons other than those related to talent and the best interest of winning football games. For the first time in a long time, there were games I just didn't watch last year. I was not going to renew my tickets this year, but one of my clients bought the entire package. I'm going to zero games. I have almost 100k in 'reward points' and I didn't even bother to spend them before i decided to close the account. It's still open, and I still don't care to spend the points before closing it next season, if that's what I do.

 

They've killed my sports soul. I'd be angry about it, but I refuse to waste any more emotions on the Dan Snyder led Redskins.

 

The redskins might wind up being that thing we have old memorabilia of, pictures of us attending various events/games, and that's it. I'm not forcing us down that path, that just appears to be the path we're currently on, and I have no desire to put effort into changing it.

 

We've decided we don't want him to play football. We're not sure if that means "we won't let him play football" or if we'll simply discourage the sport in its entirety and hope that works. 

Edited April 3, 2018 by tshile

[TheGoodBits]

11 hours ago, Sacks 'n' Stuff said:

How many of you are raising your kids to be Redskins fans and for those who are, how long have you hated your children?

 

Funny, I tried out a couple “second teams” last year to see if I could get interested enough to finally drop the Skins altogether. Didn’t/hasn’t worked yet. But the driving factor behind it was that I didn’t want my two year old to be stuck with the Skins his whole life like I’ve been. 

[PleaseBlitz]

On 4/2/2018 at 5:01 PM, China said:

 

"Condom Snorting Challenge" Is the Latest Ridiculous Teen Craze: What to Know

 

Because eating Tide Pods and butt chugging just weren’t enough to satisfy those thrill-seeking teens, a dangerous trend is re-emerging among high schoolers and sending parents into a frenzy: condom snorting.

 

Educators in the San Antonio area are now holding informative classes on the latest unnerving trend. The team of specialists is traveling to different school districts to teach parents how to discourage snorting condoms, even if it could result in internet fame.

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

20 hours ago, pjfootballer said:

Dumbest generation in history. Yes, I said it. 

 

That's bad.  Worse than snorting vodka (which my group of dumbass friends did)?  Unclear.

 

BTW, vodka snooters are called Chilly Willies.  

[Springfield]

How do you deal with an older brother bullying a younger brother because I’m pretty sure I’m doing it all wrong.

 

 

[dfitzo53]

42 minutes ago, Springfield said:

How do you deal with an older brother bullying a younger brother because I’m pretty sure I’m doing it all wrong.

 

What do you mean by bullying, and what are you currently doing?

[Springfield]

8 hours ago, dfitzo53 said:

What do you mean by bullying, and what are you currently doing?

 

Well, General hitting, pushing, shoving.  Example, he will be walking by him and shove him out of the way unnecessarily.

 

As far as punishment, we’ve given him timeouts.  I’ve had sit down talks with him about being nice to him and general good behavior.  Last night I broke.  He had been pushy with him before in the day, and I was calm about it trying not to make a big stink, but as we were getting ready for dinner he ran into his younger brother while he was riding his balance bike through the house.  I screamed and grabbed him and took him up to his room, turned off all the lights and closed the door.  Basically sent him to bed early.  Not wanting to show any cracks in the punishment, he satayed there instead of doing his usual bedtime routine.

 

Afterwords, I read up on discipline techniques online and really felt bad about the way I had handled it and really how I’ve been handling it all along.  Apparently I need to deal with it completely differently or go into a spiral of loss of trust and compassion with my boy.  So I may or may not have cried last night while writing a post to this thread before deleting it.

[Zguy28]

20 minutes ago, Springfield said:

 

Well, General hitting, pushing, shoving.  Example, he will be walking by him and shove him out of the way unnecessarily.

 

As far as punishment, we’ve given him timeouts.  I’ve had sit down talks with him about being nice to him and general good behavior.  Last night I broke.  He had been pushy with him before in the day, and I was calm about it trying not to make a big stink, but as we were getting ready for dinner he ran into his younger brother while he was riding his balance bike through the house.  I screamed and grabbed him and took him up to his room, turned off all the lights and closed the door.  Basically sent him to bed early.  Not wanting to show any cracks in the punishment, he satayed there instead of doing his usual bedtime routine.

 

Afterwords, I read up on discipline techniques online and really felt bad about the way I had handled it and really how I’ve been handling it all along.  Apparently I need to deal with it completely differently or go into a spiral of loss of trust and compassion with my boy.  So I may or may not have cried last night while writing a post to this thread before deleting it.

How old? He might be getting bullied himself somewhere like school. Also, you might try just sitting down and listening. Ask him questions and then just listen, don't give advice unless he asks. That might get you started.

[Springfield]

47 minutes ago, Zguy28 said:

How old? He might be getting bullied himself somewhere like school. Also, you might try just sitting down and listening. Ask him questions and then just listen, don't give advice unless he asks. That might get you started.

 

He’s 3 1/2.  His younger brother is 1yr 8mos.

 

He’s not in school.  Goes to grandmas house during the day.  Has a cousin there (girl) who is 7, who is in school most of the day.  I don’t think there’s any bullying there.

 

When I try talking to him about it, he becomes despondent.  Looks away, like he knows he’s done something wrong.  I find that I have to push the conversation.

 

This morning, he told his little brother that he was sorry for hitting him with his bike last night and hugged him.  All without being told to.  He then told me that his little brother ruins everything (may not have been “ruin”) and I simply agreed with him and told him that he doesn’t like to be hit because it hurts him.  Then, I told him that he was my favorite big boy and his little brother was my favorite little boy.  Trying to seem understanding of his problems and reinforce that I’m on his side and his opinion matters to me (after what I read last night, this seemed like a good way to go).

 

I also told grandma what had happened last night so that she could be in the loop about his latest punishment.

Edited April 10, 2018 by Springfield

[Dont Taze Me Bro]

1 hour ago, Springfield said:

 

Well, General hitting, pushing, shoving.  Example, he will be walking by him and shove him out of the way unnecessarily.

 

As far as punishment, we’ve given him timeouts.  I’ve had sit down talks with him about being nice to him and general good behavior.  Last night I broke.  He had been pushy with him before in the day, and I was calm about it trying not to make a big stink, but as we were getting ready for dinner he ran into his younger brother while he was riding his balance bike through the house.  I screamed and grabbed him and took him up to his room, turned off all the lights and closed the door.  Basically sent him to bed early.  Not wanting to show any cracks in the punishment, he satayed there instead of doing his usual bedtime routine.

 

Afterwords, I read up on discipline techniques online and really felt bad about the way I had handled it and really how I’ve been handling it all along.  Apparently I need to deal with it completely differently or go into a spiral of loss of trust and compassion with my boy.  So I may or may not have cried last night while writing a post to this thread before deleting it.

 

I don't have two kids, but the vast majority of our close friends do, all having two boys (we have the only girl in our core group of friends).  Sounds like what he's doing is perfectly normal.  Last weekend our friends came over and out of the blue, their two boys just got into it in the middle of my living room floor.  Oldest is 8, youngest is 4.  And your reaction to it all is perfectly normal too, don't beat yourself up about it.  Just learn from it.  

 

When my daughter was 3 1/2 - 4 years old, finding a punishment that worked took time.  Eventually, we started putting a chair up against the wall and told her to sit for 5 mins.  Set the timer on the microwave to count down.  If she got up, talked, etc. we added one more minute.  Now before the timer started, we had her sit there and had a talk with her, letting her know what she did wrong, why it was wrong and what to do moving forward.  

 

Kids their age, HATE sitting still.  Absolutely hate it (well most from what I've seen and been told).  That worked for us for a pretty long time, until she got older. Me personally, I yell a lot, sometimes without really realizing it.  I have found that with my daughter, yelling just makes the situation worse.  Do I still yell, yes, but not as much.  I started just taking the calm approach and smiling then if needed (depending on what she did wrong) telling her that I was a little disappointed in her and sad because she violated our trust, but that we (me and her mom) will always love her and we will work through it.  Then I lay out a punishment.  

 

It's ok to cry too, raising kids has a big emotional component to it.  The fact you did get choked up is a sign that you care, you big wuss 

 

13 minutes ago, Springfield said:

 

He’s 3 1/2.  His younger brother is 1yr 8mos.

 

He’s not in school.  Goes to grandmas house during the day.  Has a cousin there (girl) who is 7, who is in school most of the day.  I don’t think there’s any bullying there.

 

When I try talking to him about it, he becomes despondent.  Looks away, like he knows he’s done something wrong.  I find that I have to push the conversation.

 

This morning, he told his little brother that he was sorry for hitting him with his bike last night and hugged him.  All without being told to.  He then told me that his little brother ruins everything (may not have been “ruin”) and I simply agreed with him and told him that he doesn’t like to be hit because it hurts him.  Then, I told him that he was my favorite big boy and his little brother was my favorite little boy.  Trying to seem understanding of his problems and reinforce that I’m on his side and his opinion matters to me (after what I read last night, this seemed like a good way to go).

 

I also told grandma what had happened last night so that she could be in the loop about his latest punishment.

 

Sounds like jealousy to me.  He's no longer the baby, only child and as he continues to grow and mature, his little brother is still needing more attention and gets it.  Not saying you don't pay attention to your oldest, but in his mind, his little brother gets help on most things and even though he doesn't need help on those things anymore, he probably sees it as more love/attention spent on his sibling than him.  

 

Completely different, but similar, our daughter had a meltdown about a month ago over the new puppy we got.  She actually was crying and making statements that we love the puppy more than her and she was upset because we were showing all our attention to the puppy and ignoring her.  Of course, that was not true, we weren't ignoring her at all, but when you are training and house breaking, it takes time.  And my daughter is 10 years old.  

 

 

[Zguy28]

41 minutes ago, Springfield said:

 

He’s 3 1/2.  His younger brother is 1yr 8mos.

 

He’s not in school.  Goes to grandmas house during the day.  Has a cousin there (girl) who is 7, who is in school most of the day.  I don’t think there’s any bullying there.

 

When I try talking to him about it, he becomes despondent.  Looks away, like he knows he’s done something wrong.  I find that I have to push the conversation.

 

This morning, he told his little brother that he was sorry for hitting him with his bike last night and hugged him.  All without being told to.  He then told me that his little brother ruins everything (may not have been “ruin”) and I simply agreed with him and told him that he doesn’t like to be hit because it hurts him.  Then, I told him that he was my favorite big boy and his little brother was my favorite little boy.  Trying to seem understanding of his problems and reinforce that I’m on his side and his opinion matters to me (after what I read last night, this seemed like a good way to go).

 

I also told grandma what had happened last night so that she could be in the loop about his latest punishment.

Oh wow, he's young. Sounds like what my sister did with me when I was little. She told my parents she felt like they would stop loving her when I came along. It's hard for the firstborn sometimes. Now you are no longer the center of the world.

[Springfield]

Thanks for hearing me out peeps.  It helps.  I do agree with Taze that sitting still is the bane of both of my children’s existence.

 

The hitting/pushing isn’t a huge deal, but I want to squash it before he goes into school and then starts treating strangers the same way.

 

Basically, I want to set a home life that can carry over to school and social life.  I believe that how he acts now will carry on into childhood, into preteen years, to teenage and young adult to adult.

[Dont Taze Me Bro]

24 minutes ago, Springfield said:

Thanks for hearing me out peeps.  It helps.  I do agree with Taze that sitting still is the bane of both of my children’s existence.

 

The hitting/pushing isn’t a huge deal, but I want to squash it before he goes into school and then starts treating strangers the same way.

 

Basically, I want to set a home life that can carry over to school and social life.  I believe that how he acts now will carry on into childhood, into preteen years, to teenage and young adult to adult.

 

How he will act in school could be completely different than how he treats his brother.  I get where you're coming from, my daughter got off to a bad start her 2nd day of Kindergarten.  Point being, she went to pre-school from 8 weeks old until she turned 5 and started kindergarten, was around other kids daily, knew better and it still happened.  And she had no siblings or cousins around her to pick on/fight with either.  Sometimes, it just happens man, regardless of what you do.  

 

Do you have him in pre-school at all, like part time or full-time?  If yes and he's behaving there, that will most likely carry over, with minimal issues or none at all.  

[Springfield]

1 hour ago, Dont Taze Me Bro said:

 

How he will act in school could be completely different than how he treats his brother.  I get where you're coming from, my daughter got off to a bad start her 2nd day of Kindergarten.  Point being, she went to pre-school from 8 weeks old until she turned 5 and started kindergarten, was around other kids daily, knew better and it still happened.  And she had no siblings or cousins around her to pick on/fight with either.  Sometimes, it just happens man, regardless of what you do.  

 

Do you have him in pre-school at all, like part time or full-time?  If yes and he's behaving there, that will most likely carry over, with minimal issues or none at all.  

 

He’s not in preschool at all.  We plan on putting him in a part time preschool in the fall, which unfortunately for him will still be a 3 year old class.  His birthday is October 1 so he’s always going to be the oldest kid in school.  

[LadySkinsFan]

Maybe you could have "adventure days" separately with each child. Maybe a little longer with the older one, geared to their interests. And separately with each parent. That way he sees that you value each of them and he will feel special again.

 

I was three and a half when my brother was born, and he was the SON! For both of my parents but my dad endlessly.it was a big problem for a lot of years, until about twenty years before my brother's death. When we decided to let our parent's view of us go. We had a very close relationship after that.

 

So how you treat the children when they are little will affect them for years.

 

Also, sit with the older child and explain that you don't treat people that way in your family, that all are respected, including him.

[dfitzo53]

Lots of great stuff in here already. 

 

Just wanted to add, don't be afraid to apologize when you make a mistake. Not from a wishy-washy, codependent position of not wanting your kids to be mad at you, but from the standpoint of modeling owning up to mistakes and learning from them.

[LadySkinsFan]

1 hour ago, dfitzo53 said:

Lots of great stuff in here already. 

 

Just wanted to add, don't be afraid to apologize when you make a mistake. Not from a wishy-washy, codependent position of not wanting your kids to be mad at you, but from the standpoint of modeling owning up to mistakes and learning from them.

 

That's the truth! I had so many apologies for my daughter. Now that she's a parent, she sees that side of parenting. We have a great relationship now. Also, listening and not offering remedies unless she asks.