Tandler article -"10 things I would do if I ran the Redskins"

[elkabong82]

Says the name should be changed due to distractions from controversy.

 

Proposes to name the team after Death. 

 

[Peregrine]

Im not sure 10 ideas that have nothing to do with actually improving the product on the field are anything different than what we have been complaining about the Dan doing for years...

[Peregrine]

But...while we are at it......

 

 

1. I would either sign a franchise QB or make sure we keep the one on our roster for 10+ years.

 

2. I would invest heavily on a top DLine.

 

3. I would invest heavily in a top OLine

 

4. I would seek out the best scouts in football and overpay them all by 10%, to seek out college and pro talent.

 

5. I would invest in emerging technologies, splashing cash in training simulators and what not using VR and AR.

 

6. I would find Bill Bellichicks nice and-equally-as-talented twin brother who doesnt cheat and hire him to be HC.

 

7. I would be real nice and patronizing, socialize and bribe my way into the uppper eschelons of the NFL league office, and then cut John Mara out of the game permanently.

 

8. I would make all stadium Beers $4.

 

9. I would start a charity in inner city Dallas, dedicated to helping underprivledged kids, and make sure at every moment of the day they knew it was the Redskins helping them, and not the Cowboys.

 

10.  I would commission the best brewer east of the Mississippi to brew an imperial bourbon barrel aged stout for real men, called Cowboy Killa(for how rich and strong it is, Dallas Cowboys players would probably drink one and drop dead), with an ABV of 21% and make it available throughout the area.

[Reaper Skins]

Says the name should be changed due to distractions from controversy.

Proposes to name the team after Death.

 

I'd be hard pressed to find a more inclusive, non discriminating concept in all of existence. Death treats everyone exactly the same. It's revered and celebrated in some form or another in pretty much every culture on the planet.

In terms of playing the Ravens, I combined the two concepts of Halloween and a rivalry in my original post, but they could easily be viewed as independent ideas.

Building up a rivalry with another team in close proximity (even if it is only once every few years) adds to fan participation and heightens team pride, leading to more fan investment for games, promotional events, and merchandise.

For the Halloween concept, you could apply the idea to WHICHEVER team we played that week, not just the Ravens. Making the halloween weekend game a big event every year would be a great promotional event for both the team and the NFL as a whole. Wouldn't be suprised if other teams began to request playing in it for the additional exposure and so fans of othe teams could have a chance to participate. As long as it was a home game it wouldn't matter who the opponent was to be a sucessful event.  In theory it wouldn't even need to be our team.  i could see the NFL doing something like this with a team like the Ravens or the Raiders TODAY and it being successful.

[The Mayor of Fed Ex Field]

What was the Redskins record with #11 injured and not playing?

What was Kirk Cousins INT to TD ratio?

What was his passer rating?

Say what you want about #11, but he shows up to play every game.

We are proven to be a winning team when he is healthy and on the field.

At less than 7 million against the salary cap for 2016, who would replace him, for the same amount of money?

I guess most of his other ideas are pretty whack as well, like starting what's his long last name at guard.

Long could play center I guess.

Stadium stuff doesn't bother me one way or another.

I would have thought Chris Russell wrote this if I didn't know better

[Renegade7]

I admire your fanaticism, Reaper, really, I do.

Is the mascot going to be giving out toy scythes to the little kiddies? That sounds family friendly : )

[Alaskins]

1. Go home and tell my wife the good news. have sex to celebrate.

2. Call realtor, buy a new house. No way am i living in this place if I run the Redskins.

3. Buy a new car. Same reason above. I like my Prius, but if I run an NFL team, I am assuming there is some decorum to be respected.

4. Buy my wife a new car. Have sex again to celebrate

5. Sleep for a while and take the rest of the day off. That's a hell of a first morning.

6. Get up around 10PM, order a pizza. Hungry.

7. Call a friend of a friend who c alls a friend. Buy 2 ounces of heroin

8. Arrange meet and greet with John Mara. Smile and shake his hand tell him I look forward to competing with such a great rival.

9. Have lackeys tape two ounces of heroin into wheel well of Mara's car during meeting

10. Call police when he leaves and make anonymous tip.

 

~Bang

You had my wife at sex.

 

 

 

 

Not really, my wife is hot and (for whatever reason) in to me...  But I agree with the Mara stuff.

[Baughlin']

1. Carry at least one Lombardi with me at all times, and impersonate Steve Young's postgame speech to random passersby- especially in Philly (EVER!)

 

2. Clone Mccgloughan and have a Jango/Bobba Fett system in place for the long haul

 

3. Use every crazy/badass uniform combination I've made in Madden with emphasis on more all whites and Spear helmet usage

 

4. Retractable roof stadium capable of hosting Superbowls, Final Fours, etc at Dulles near Redskin Park. DC and MD have had their turn, besides there has to be a huge organizational benefit to being way closer to your stadium than The Skins have been over the decades

 

5. Two huge statues of D Green and Sammy Baugh at the main gate of the new stadium- and have them be the only #'s retired. Use ring of fame and shrines and murals to salute very good to great Skins.

 

6. No moats of any kind

 

7. Make the scouting dept a top priority, especially if SMGM were to  leave or retire, I'd like to promote from within and not miss a beat.

 

8. Completely remodel and expand Redskin Park- after the new stadium is built, so we could use it as a temp home.

 

9. Hold Training camp wherever it is 37 degrees and raining on a consistent basis in July/August

 

10. Rename Extremeskins to Cordial Conversation Skins or Don't Freak Out Skins, or something similarly disarming.    

[Koolblue13]

10. Rename Extremeskins to Cordial Conversation Skins or Don't Freak Out Skins, or something similarly disarming.

I bet you really like those games in England, don't ya? Communist.

I'd add Art Monk, but there could be Rocky esque statues all over the place. A ring of fame around the stadium and you could name entrances or sections after them. "Oh, were in the Grimm section today".

[Burgold]

1. Build/improve training facility. We are going to have the best, most up to date one incorporating the technology, nutrition, etc. 

2. Get practice fields for all types of surfaces and have indoor ones ready for off season work outs/camps.

3. Triple the number of scouts. We're going to have the best and most complete data of any team in the NFL.

4. I like the statue thing. Do it Olympian style. Demigods of Redskins lore at five feet. Gods of Redskins lore at 8 feet. Joe Gibbs as Zeus. 

5. Open up a section of 500 seats that would be free of charge to young fans or to lottery game winners. Games are too expensive. Let's invite the die hards in. Let's give kids the live game experience even if their parents can't afford to spend five hundred dollars for a day's entertainment.

6. Change the NFL/Union rules so that each team gets a Larry Bird exemption. One player who doesn't count on the salary cap and another three whose salary only counts for half. Teams should keep the players that become identified as belonging to that city. Certain players should be life long. It shouldn't be a cap thing.

7. Change the NFL/Union rules so that if a team is put on injured reserve that salary also only counts half against the cap (if independent group of doctors agree player would be medically unavailable for at least 8 games).

8, Change NFL officials. Make 'em full time and then fine, suspend, or shoot them in the back of the head for egregious errors.

9, Change NFL rules to add more instant replay. Teams also should get more than three challenges.

10. Suspend John Mara indefinitely for abuse of powers and transfer five years of first picks to Redskins, Cowboys, and Buccaneers.

[SkinsGuy]

I thought this was going to take a much much darker turn for a minute there bang...

As for the Taylor thing, certainly a valid argument against him. Numbers and timewise he is obviously not elite. The retired number would be a testament to his potential, but also a memorial to the event itself, which was a pretty big tragic event for the fanbase and the team, both on and off the field. If it's the retired number specifically that sticks in your throat, some sort of memorial in general could be substituted in. But to me retired numbers symbolize players that had the biggest impact on the franchise, and I think Taylor's name is certainly one of the first mentioned when discussing the team in recent years,whether for his on field play or the way his story played out.

Not that it's a tell all measuring stick but pretty sure he's one of what? Only 3 redskins that's ever got "a football life" special? If not one of the best, he's certainly one of the most well known. How's many prospects and current players say they based their game on his?

 

There are only 99 numbers a team can use every year (98 for the Redskins as have retired Baugh's "33").

 

Actually, it is less than that since there are several numbers we don't use right now (7, 21, 28, 44, 49, 81).

 

Retiring numbers is not something that can be done so flippantly, because of the limited amount of numbers there are. Retiring Taylor's number simply because he died would be flippant. It would be just as ridiculous as basing a policy of retiring numbers on some dumb football specials on NFL Network, that aren't all about great players or coaches.

 

Joe Gibbs hasn't had a "Football Life" done about him. Does that mean he was not a great coach? Please.

 

Retiring numbers are for players who, like stars in the sky, shine brightly for a long time. Not for players like Taylor who, like meteorites, shine briefly then are gone.

 

If you feel that strongly about Taylor, have a plaque put up of him somewhere. Save the retired numbers for those that truly deserve that type of immortality.

 

For me, Riggins "44" would be at the top of the list. Even 30 years after his retirement, his name and play is still so remembered and iconic to Redskin football.

[skins island connection]

 Ok i'll play.

 

 1. Burn every pair of yellow or mustard or gold or whatever color pants you call it; absolutely hideous looking. 

 Go back to the 80's look, the winning look. Maybe tweak the  burgundy over white a bit but overall that style.

 

 2. Install seats closer to the field, to get that RFK feel at least a little bit.

 

 3. Bring back John Madden and Pat Summeral.

 

 4. Install high pressure air lines throughout the field; when an opponent throws an apparent TD, turn on the air, make the ball drift away or another direction. 

 

 5. Free beer for every TD the Redskins score.  You GOTTA like that...

[Koolblue13]

I really like the mustard pants.

[DC9]

 

5. Open up a section of 500 seats that would be free of charge to young fans or to lottery game winners. Games are too expensive. Let's invite the die hards in. Let's give kids the live game experience even if their parents can't afford to spend five hundred dollars for a day's entertainment.

 

 

6. Change the NFL/Union rules so that each team gets a Larry Bird exemption. One player who doesn't count on the salary cap and another three whose salary only counts for half. Teams should keep the players that become identified as belonging to that city. Certain players should be life long. It shouldn't be a cap thing.

7. Change the NFL/Union rules so that if a team is put on injured reserve that salary also only counts half against the cap (if independent group of doctors agree player would be medically unavailable for at least 8 games).

9, Change NFL rules to add more instant replay. Teams also should get more than three challenges.

 

I like 5.  That's a good idea.  Maybe an honor roll program from within the city and surrounding areas would be a good idea.

 

But those bottom three can never happen.  I know it's fantasy, but you have a labor law attorney in charge of the PA and you just can't be that heavy handed against the players.  That'll never even take off.

 

And then 9 will make the game last forever.  I liked your point about making the officials accountable, but I don't think that really ever happens in any sport.  Things have to get really bad for them to even get suspended for a game. 

  3. Bring back John Madden and Pat Summeral.

 

 

 

I think you should sit down, brother....

 

I'd be all about Frank Herzog, tho

[Burgold]

Yeah, the first five are somewhat real and then I decided to play around. It would be cool though if the NFL adopted a Larry Bird rule though such that your franchise player's salary didn't count against the cap.

 

I really would like to see a block of tickets reserved for kids or Redskin fan die hards who couldn't otherwise go.

 

Honor role would work. Nominations for good works. Essay contests. Heck, even a lottery where people toss their names in a hat and a lucky group wins a free ticket every week. You could do it any number of ways or use several models simultaneously. Sports is a great parent/child thing and it's a shame so many are priced out of that these days.

[Califan007 The Constipated]

1. Prank call Mara at 2:00 am...

Mara (sleepy voice): "Um, hello?"

Me: "Yes, I'd like to order a pizza..."

 

2. Have a pizza delivered to Mara's house right after the phone call...

Mara (putting on robe): "What the...who is it?"

Voice from front door: "Somebody here order a pizza?"

 

3. Repeat #1 and #2 until Mara has spent approximately $36 million on unwanted pizzas...

 

4. Make the cheerleader try-out uniforms skimpier...

 

 

I'm sorry, but that's just way too much clothing...

 

 

5. Have the mods on ES ban anyone who speaks negatively about ferrets...

 

6. Make up a player's name and occasionally go up and down the halls at Redskins Park ranting about how I want that made up player off the team "NOW!!"

 

7. Find out who is leaking stories to the press and start planting idiotic rumors..."Anonymous sources close to the Redskins confirm that Scot McCloughan regularly consults the ghost of Spiro Agnew for draft advice. Also, his left foot just fell off."

 

8. Constantly tell people that I'm bringing Vinny back into the fold...then laugh and point when their expressions turn to pure horror...

 

9. Hire Dave McKenna to come do an in-depth, no holds barred article about the franchise with complete access to everything...and then when he arrives say "What? No, I never authorized that. Get the hell out of here." And then call security to physically throw him out the front door.

 

10. End any and all press conferences with a mic drop...

[ComManDersFan57]

Hilarious thread, but I won't touch on the OP's ridiculousness.

 

Tandler has some good points. However, I would leave all the football and player decisions to the football people.

 

Using trams from Metro is a great idea. I might buy that big lot right across the beltway on Arena Dr. and use it as an alternative to onsite parking at $10.00 a spot. The cost of parking is outrageous.

 

As for retiring numbers, there are a select few I would consider. My list includes Riggo, Monk, Green and Sonny.

 

Paying more for one beer than it costs for a six pack at retail price is ridiculous. I'd give the fans a break on concessions.

 

Adapting FedEx to direct sound toward the field would go a long way to help home field advantage. FedEx has lots of problems, but it's ours, so let's work with it for now. When we build a new stadium, no moat and no PSLs. I don't really care where it goes, but DC would be at the top of the list as long as there's no name change.

 

Bottom line, make a profit but whenever possible reduce prices so the average Joe can afford a game. Let's face it, being at the stadium on game day is great, but it's cost prohibitive and TV is getting better and better. If you want to fill seats, make it affordable.

[CommDownMan]

If I ever owned the team and some congressmen/senator commented of the name of the team, I'd make a simple offer.

 

I will change the team name after the government balances the budget for 10 years and significantly reduces our deficit.  No court battles and no whining.

[Wildbunny]

6. Get up around 10PM, order a pizza. Hungry.

~Bang

 

With everyelse you posted I'm a bit surprised that there's no better restaurant to take your wife to in DC than ordering a pizza...

Mind you, with your new role, that's the kind of thing that could make your wife ask for divorce.

[DC9]

9. Hire Dave McKenna to come do an in-depth, no holds barred article about the franchise with complete access to everything...and then when he arrives say "What? No, I never authorized that. Get the hell out of here." And then call security to physically throw him out the front door.

 

 

 

That is absolutely hilarious.

 

Can't stand that mother ****er.

Bottom line, make a profit but whenever possible reduce prices so the average Joe can afford a game. Let's face it, being at the stadium on game day is great, but it's cost prohibitive and TV is getting better and better. If you want to fill seats, make it affordable.

 

You have to pick your spots, there.

 

With market sharing, you'll be broke within a couple of years.

 

Well-meaning but not very practical, unfortunately.

 

Though, I think that the league is slated to re-do the market sharing agreement either this year or next year.  Can't remember who it was, but one of the big NFL heads at the network basically said "the competition committee just ****ed with two of the highest grossing teams in the league.  I suspect when the market sharing is re-done in ____ (whatever year) the Redskins and the Cowboys aren't going to forget this day."

 

Sorry, not to derail. 

[pjfootballer]

Califan had me at "pizza", "Mara" and "less clothes on cheerleaders."

[skins island connection]

 

I think you should sit down, brother....

 

I'd be all about Frank Herzog, tho

 

 ok, i'll swim on my own side of the pool, but I wasn't referring to the 144 yr old 'where'd I put my scotch' summeral, but the early 80's version, complete with senility.

 

 I only got bits and pieces of Frank, being deep in Cowboy land, he wasn't on tv down here in the south, where men are men and sheep are scared...

 Of course I would begin a new scoring program.

 Every 10 points scored, cheerleaders took off a piece of clothing. 5 max on clothing per cheerleader.

 

 Maybe a fog machine placed by the opponent's booth, just to block their vision.

[ComManDersFan57]

 

 Maybe a fog machine placed by the opponent's booth, just to block their vision.

Or not, and put them closer to the opponents as a distraction.

[Reaper Skins]

Or not, and put them closer to the opponents as a distraction.

I'd love it if they allowed the crowd to do elaborate distractions during extra points like they do for free throws in the NBA.  Signs you could hold up and wave back and forth to mess with the kickers depth perception.

[DC9]

 ok, i'll swim on my own side of the pool, but I wasn't referring to the 144 yr old 'where'd I put my scotch' summeral, but the early 80's version, complete with senility.

 

 I only got bits and pieces of Frank, being deep in Cowboy land, he wasn't on tv down here in the south, where men are men and sheep are scared...

 Of course I would begin a new scoring program.

 Every 10 points scored, cheerleaders took off a piece of clothing. 5 max on clothing per cheerleader.

 

 Maybe a fog machine placed by the opponent's booth, just to block their vision.

 

  :lol:  

 

I just wasn't sure if you knew he'd passed away.  I was trying to break it to you gently.

 

You might be on to something with the cheerleaders.

 

I think you can get away with that in executive suites, but certainly not on the field.  Have those executive suites that are already fitted with the bars and buffets fitted with a stage.  THAT would be something. 

 

Talk about rooting for a score.