Jump to content
Washington Football Team Logo
Extremeskins

Random Funny ARTICLES Not Worth Their Own Thread


Jumbo
 Share

Recommended Posts

TikToker says Target let her steal $3,000 worth of stuff over several years ‘so they can actually send her to jail’

 

A TikToker claimed in a viral TikTok video that Target let her steal $3,000 worth of goods over several years "so they can actually send her to jail."

 

AAROeMF.img?w=768&h=384&m=6&x=806&y=362&

 

Ashley Hernandez (@ashleyherrnandezz) posted the clip on Monday. The video has over 1.4 million views and 174,000 likes. She wrote in the caption, "I know I'm using this trend wrong, but idc."

 

The overlay text reads, as she pretends to cry, "Stealing from Target for years and thinking nothing of it."

 

"Them compiling a whole case against me over the years and letting me steal $3,000, so they can actually send me to jail," the text continues.

 

Hernandez joked in the comments section about "Target & Walmart reading these comments."

 

One woman joked, "So...my limit's $2,999?"

 

Another asked, "Can I call them and get my current balance?"

 

The alleged $3,000 threshold and its origin is unknown, but it could be tied to her state's theft and larceny laws.

 

Another commenter alleged that Target "keeps tabs on people."

 

Click on the link for the full article

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Klepto cat Keith brings home bag of white powder to owners

 

It's a downward spiral that began a month ago with a bong and a bag of white powder.


Now Keith the thief has no shame and is leaving kinky black lace knickers strewn on the back fence.


As the summer festive season comes around and longer days mean a chance for more loot, the infamous five-year-old black cat continues to roam his quiet Christchurch suburb in New Zealand, committing burglary after burglary.

 

But the crimes have escalated recently, his stealthy paws uncovering some of the more risque items owned by Hoon Hay's households.


In the past the fiendish feline brought home a Corrections officer's shirt, ladies swimsuits, entire washing lines with pegs attached, the local tradie's steel-toed boots, bras, shoes and live eels.
But nothing prepared owners Ginny and David Rumbold for Keith's most audacious gift of a bong and a ziplock bag of white powder.


A horrified Giny immediately disposed of the paraphernalia that would incriminate the pilfering ****, and strong words ensued about the dangers of a druggie lifestyle.

 

 

Click on the link for the full article

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Australian man asked his neighbour to take the bins out – so he did, literally

 

Australian man Carl Stanojevic might be the world’s most considerate neighbour after he was asked to “take the bins out” and dutifully followed the request – to the letter.

 

The practical joke began when the 54-year-old photographer from Mackay, in Queensland, received a late-night text message from his neighbour, Nick Doherty – who works remotely – asking if Stanojevic “would be able to take my bins out please”.

 

Stanojevic then joked about taking the bin out to local restaurants and bars. The next morning, after it was emptied and cleaned, Stanojevic decided to follow through on the banter.

 

828.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format

 

Grabbing his camera equipment and thinking like a tour guide, Stanojevic proceeded to take the number 6 wheelie bin on a big day out on Wednesday. To start with, they took a walk by the duck pond before taking care of some chores, stopping at a hardware store to pose with the staff, doing some shopping at the local supermarket and making a quick trip to the local tip.

 

5000.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=forma

 

“We went for a massage and then to the tattoo parlour to get a couple of extra 6s on the bin. A bit of a tattoo, then stopped at the pub for a coldie,” Stanojevic said on Friday.

 

Along the way, the bin stopped for a selfie with a band of local cleaners, a surf lifeguard and a garbage truck driver. There was a quick trip through the drive-through at three separate restaurants and to make a call at a phone booth.

 

“It wasn’t really talking to anyone,” Stanojevic said. “It was just talking trash.”

 

3596.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=forma

 

Click on the link for the full article

  • Like 1
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Year in Review: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

 

1_ca_F5XXjQaVWtkJvGSUYvw.jpg

 

Last year, we were learning how to live in quarantine. This year, we’ve perfected it: Boredom, curiosity, horniness, and an awful lot of time stuck at home have combined to make it a banner 12 months for shoving objects inside ourselves that cannot be removed without the aid of a trained professional. Here now, the traditional holiday recounting of the weirdest stuff hospitals found in America’s holes.

 

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and jesus christ what no don’t put that there that doesn’t go there.

 

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:

 

Penis

  • PLASTIC FORK
  • SPORK
  • FOUR PLASTIC SPOONS
  • MARBLE
  • SCREW AND PIECE OF PEN
  • TAPE AND PAPER
  • “PUT A CHOPSTICK IN HIS URETHRA LAST NIGHT TO MAKE HIS PENIS LONGER AND WAS UNABLE TO REMOVE IT”
  • BEADS ON STRING
  • CLOTHING PRICE TAG
  • END OF A RAT TAIL COMB
  • TWO TWEEZERS
  • “HEADPHONES CORD TO PREVENT WET DREAMS”
  • NAILS
  • HEX KEY
  • DART
  • BREAD TWIST TIE
  • PIECE OF METAL FROM COVID MASK
  • “WHILE MASTURBATING WITH A SEWING NEEDLE HE LOST CONTROL OF THE NEEDLE AND IT DISAPPEARED INTO THE MEATUS OF HIS PENIS”

 

Vagina

  • SPIKED PENIS RING
  • TWO HALVES OF BROKEN COLORED PENCIL
  • DISPOSABLE RAZOR
  • HAIRBRUSH
  • BARBELL
  • PILL BOTTLE
  • TWO BATTERIES
  • PENNY AND SHAMPOO CAP
  • “PATIENT WAS HAVING SEX WITH HER BOYFRIEND LAST NIGHT AND A VIBRATOR WAS PLACED IN HER VAGINA IT IS STILL VIBRATING AND IS STUCK”
  • TOY DINOSAURS
  • CANDLE
  • A UNICORN
  • HUSBAND’S WEDDING RING
  • GLOW-IN-THE-DARK BALL
  • DETERGENT POD
  • SPIDER-MAN ACTION FIGURE

 

Rectum

  • BOTTLE CAP
  • PLASTIC SODA BOTTLE
  • “WAS ‘JOKING AROUND WITH FRIENDS’ WHEN JOKE WAS TAKEN TOO FAR AND A CAN WAS PUT INTO HIS RECTUM”
  • CLICK GEL PEN
  • BRONZE HANDLE OF A TOOL
  • 2 BATTERIES
  • GLUE BOTTLE
  • “WENT TO SIT DOWN IN THE BATHTUB AND SAT ON A PLASTIC BOTTLE OF BUBBLE BATH THAT WENT INTO HIS RECTUM”
  • FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER
  • PHILLIPS HEAD SCREWDRIVER
  • TOOTHBRUSH CASE
  • PUMP ACTION PLASTIC ALCOHOL DISPENSER
  • BAR OF SOAP
  • ROLLING PIN
  • “STATES HE AND HIS WIFE WERE HAVING SEX WHEN SHE PLACED A RUBBER PENIS IN HIS RECTUM AND IT BROKE OFF”
  • “STUCK PLASTIC TOILET PAPER HOLDER IN RECTUM DURING SEXUAL ENCOUNTER W/ PARTNER WHILE INTOXICATED”
  • “REPORTS WAS ‘PLAYING WITH MY WIFE’ WHEN THE CAP OF AN AEROSOL CAN BECAME DISLODGED & STUCK IN HIS RECTUM”
  • RUBBER BALL
  • SQUISHY BALL
  • STRESS BALL
  • BILLIARD BALL
  • “PT STATES WAS ATTEMPTING TO HOLD A BALL IN GLUTEAL FOLD & BELIEVES GOT LOST. NOT 100% THAT BALL IS IN RECTUM”
  • TOY DINOSAUR
  • TOY ROCKET
  • PUZZLE PIECES
  • “SOME MARBLES”
  • HEXBUG ROBOTIC TOY
  • “STATES HE AND HIS FRIENDS HAD A PRACTICAL JOKE GOING ON EACH OTHER. THIS TIME, HE WAS SLEEPING WHEN HIS FRIEND PUT A DILDO IN HIS RECTUM AND NOW UNABLE TO GET IT OUT”
  • SHAMPOO BOTTLE
  • LOTION BOTTLE
  • HAIRSPRAY
  • “HAVING TROUBLE GOING POOP SO HE PLACED A MECHANICAL PENCIL IN HIS RECTUM. PT NOW UNABLE TO REMOVE. PENCIL IS STICKING OUT.”
  • MAGIC DICE
  • HEAD OF ACTION FIGURE
  • TWEEZERS
  • SCISSOR TONGS
  • TOWEL WITH A SOCK OVER IT & GLOVE OVER THE SOCK
  • AXE BODY SPRAY
  • 12″ KNIFE HANDLE-FIRST
  • “WAS DRINKING WITH FRIENDS AND BELIEVES THAT HE MAY HAVE PLACED A NICKEL AND A DIME INTO HIS RECTUM.”
  • LIGHT BULB
  • GRASS AND GOLF TEE
  • CARROT
  • LOTTERY TICKET
  • “FOREIGN BODY IN HIS RECTUM. HE STATES HE ‘BELIEVES IT IS A VAPE’ AND IS NOT ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS.”

Click on the link for more

 

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

POLICE RESPOND TO DISTURBANCE ON BELTLINE

 

EUGENE, Ore. -- Eugene police said officers responded to reports of a man with an adult diaper on his head walking along the median on Beltline near Delta Highway and River Road at about 12:30 p.m. Friday.

 

The disturbance caused significant traffic delays along Beltline.

 

When officers made contact with the man, they were able to quickly resolve the situation, police said.

 

No arrests were made and no injuries were reported, according to police.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Student reveals she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her with his STEP-SISTER when she sent an X-rated video of them having sex

 

A Michigan student says she discovered her boyfriend was cheating on her with his own step-sister - after the sibling sent her an X-rated video of them having sex.   

 

Courtney Copenhagen, who is thought to be studying at Michigan Technological University, took to TikTok to share her shocking story.

 

She explained how the step-sister had sent her a video while she was out at a meal with her boyfriend's mother, showing the two step-siblings having intercourse.


Shocked to see her boyfriend having sex with his step-sister, she showed his mother the clip - and the parent rushed out of the restaurant, with the step-siblings and mother now no longer speaking to Courtney.

 

Courtney's TikTok - which she posted on New Year's Eve - quickly went viral, and in a follow-up clip, she showed a message she had apparently received from the step-sister following her public revelation of the incident.

 

Outraged at Courtney for using her 'brother's' first name, the step-sister explained that the duo were now getting 's****ed on' by their family and friends, who saw the video.  

 

Click on the link for the full story

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/14/2021 at 6:07 PM, China said:

'I make £35k a week selling my farts to strangers - they can't get enough'

 

A lot of reality TV stars find other ways of making money than just appearing on-screen.

 

However, one star has quite the unique money-making method as she sells her farts online.

 

And it seems like it's proving profitable for her, as she claims to have made AUD$70,000 (£38,000) in a week by doing it.

 

Stephanie Matto built up a large social media following after she appeared on the show 90 Day Fiancé - with her currently boasting 260,000 Instagram followers.

 

4_tepankamatto_258497398_666028641047093

Is that a shart?

 

 

Click on the link for the full story

 

TV Star Hospitalised After Trying To Fart Too Much

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lego Finally Has An Official Anus And Here Are The Lego Cars That Should Have It

 

Okay, I’m going to be absolutely honest with you: the Lego cars part in the headline was a bit of a ruse so I could justify writing about this on our lovely automotive website here. I don’t actually think any Lego cars need anuses (I mean, a few anuses here and there can’t hurt), but I do think it’s extremely significant that for the first time in their 90-year history, Lego has officially designated a piece to be used to represent an actual mammalian anus. This is huge news.

 

I’m an automotive journalist, not a Lego journalist, so I think I’m a bit late to this bit of news, as I see the anus was noted in reviews of Lego set 31129, Majestic Tiger, about a month ago.

 

The tiger set is really quite beautiful, a remarkable rendering of something biological with Legos, which is always a massive challenge. I mean, look at this thing:

 

b16dffe0fab9ef74f95aebb020b35572.png

 

That’s impressive. But let’s take a look at what the real magic is here:

 

bcb9951bbdd7ec59b38b92ec9f6c8e8a.png

 

Dear lord. Just look at it. They should have sent a poet.

 

My friends, let me be absolutely clear here: we now live in a world where the Lego corporation has designated a former 1x1 pink flower piece to represent a butthole, a rectum, an anus, and as such the world has changed.

 

Click on the link for more

 

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Impotent man's partner accidentally deploys insulation foam inside his urethra during sex act

 

An American man may never be able to use his penis again after his partner accidentally sprayed expanding foam up his urethra in a sex act gone wrong. 

 

The 45-year-old patient had to have a new opening cut between his scrotum and his anus to urinate when the foam hardened and became 'anchored' in his penis.  

 

UARB7uzZAZFeNKYmLani7LaNbqPD9PiLJQnvnMqX

 

Medics who treated him said he will only qualify for reconstructive surgery if he passes a psychiatric evaluation. 

 

The unidentified man was struggling with impotence, and had been inserting various objects into the opening of his penis during sex to stay erect. 

 

Click on the link for the full article

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Driver crashes car through ice on Rideau River, takes selfie to commemorate

 

Manotick residents along the banks of the Rideau River were forced into an unexpected water rescue Sunday afternoon after a woman crashed through the ice while driving her car on the frozen river.


The woman was uninjured and was seen — in images and videos widely circulated on social media  — smiling and taking a selfie as the car sank into the frigid river. She was later charged with dangerous operation of a motor vehicle.

 

slefie-w.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=564&

 

Comments on Twitter and Facebook indicate she may have driven north on the river from the Kemptville area, as far as 30 kilometres away.

 

Manotick resident Sacha Gera, who lives about three kilometres away from the crash site, shared a video that showed the yellow car speeding straight along the ice surface just prior to the crash.

 

“My kids were playing hockey on our outdoor rink, and it’s not something you’d expect to see, but suddenly a car just went racing by,” said Gera. “At first, my wife and I were in shock, and then we were concerned for the kids … our own kids and the other kids along the river. There’s a lot of rinks along the river.”

 

Though it was difficult to tell, Gera estimated the car to be travelling around 60 km/h and related the car’s speed to that of the speedboats that regularly zip through the channel during the summer.

 

Click on the link for the full article

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robot vacuum cleaner escapes from Cambridge Travelodge

 

A robot vacuum cleaner made a break for freedom after giving staff the slip at a Travelodge hotel.

 

The automated cleaner failed to stop at the front door of the hotel in Orchard Park in Cambridge on Thursday, and was still on the loose the following day.

 

Staff said it just kept going and "could be anywhere" while well-wishers on social media hoped the vacuum enjoyed its travels, as "it has no natural predators" in the wild.

 

Staff at the hotel posted the story of the robot vacuum's great escape on social media, asking for it to be returned, if found.

 

"Today we had one of our new robot vacuums run for its life," the assistant manager wrote.

 

"They normally sense the lip at the entrance [to the hotel] and turn around, but this one decided to make a run for it."

 

It was found under a hedge on Friday.

 

Click on the link for the full story

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Woman Discovers Boyfriend Sleeps in a "Nest” Her First Time Spending the Night

 

From diets, to education, to what healthy relationships look like, to even what a normal "living situation" is like, pick a single human being and while biologically we're pretty much the same, the way we go about our existences couldn't be more different from person to person.

 

Generally speaking, however, it's safe to assume that a lot of folks prefer to sleep on mattresses rather than, let's say, a "nest" made from a pile of clothes, right?

 

Well, that's the story that was brought up on the @judgiespod TikTok account, which highlights a discussion from the Judgies Podcast that talks about a woman's experience sleeping over her boyfriend's house for the first time.

 

In her tale, she discusses how her nervous boyfriend invited her to stay at his place for the first time and he revealed to her that he didn't sleep on a mattress but rather a nest of clothing that he keeps in a pile on the floor. Her description seems like something from the movie The Croods, where he gets himself entangled in a huge pile of clothing and then layers them on top of himself, like some kind of prehistoric creature.

 

This naturally raised a lot of questions from the folks in the podcast, who tried to find some positives in the "nesting" sleep strategy from the woman's boyfriend. If you soil your mattress, that's very difficult to clean, but it's much easier to wash a pile of clothes, right?

 

But did he wash the clothes? Did he wear the clothes he slept on?

 

His girlfriend attempted to sleep in the nest as per her boyfriend's invitation, but she ultimately opted to go and sleep on the couch instead after she found the nest sleep situation uncomfortable and stinky.

 

When he brought it up to her the next morning, he was not happy.

 

She revealed to him that the experience sleeping in the nest was miserable and smelly and the man said that he didn't wash his nest clothes because he didn't wear them: they were reserved entirely for nesting. He then said that if they were to reach the next level in their relationship and move in with one another, she'd have to accept his nest.

 

She said that if they were to move in with one another, they'd have to get a bed. To which he replied that he'd rather never sleep again than not sleep in a nest.

 

Click on the link for the full story

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, China said:

Woman Discovers Boyfriend Sleeps in a "Nest” Her First Time Spending the Night

 

From diets, to education, to what healthy relationships look like, to even what a normal "living situation" is like, pick a single human being and while biologically we're pretty much the same, the way we go about our existences couldn't be more different from person to person.

 

Generally speaking, however, it's safe to assume that a lot of folks prefer to sleep on mattresses rather than, let's say, a "nest" made from a pile of clothes, right?

 

Well, that's the story that was brought up on the @judgiespod TikTok account, which highlights a discussion from the Judgies Podcast that talks about a woman's experience sleeping over her boyfriend's house for the first time.

 

In her tale, she discusses how her nervous boyfriend invited her to stay at his place for the first time and he revealed to her that he didn't sleep on a mattress but rather a nest of clothing that he keeps in a pile on the floor. Her description seems like something from the movie The Croods, where he gets himself entangled in a huge pile of clothing and then layers them on top of himself, like some kind of prehistoric creature.

 

This naturally raised a lot of questions from the folks in the podcast, who tried to find some positives in the "nesting" sleep strategy from the woman's boyfriend. If you soil your mattress, that's very difficult to clean, but it's much easier to wash a pile of clothes, right?

 

But did he wash the clothes? Did he wear the clothes he slept on?

 

His girlfriend attempted to sleep in the nest as per her boyfriend's invitation, but she ultimately opted to go and sleep on the couch instead after she found the nest sleep situation uncomfortable and stinky.

 

When he brought it up to her the next morning, he was not happy.

 

She revealed to him that the experience sleeping in the nest was miserable and smelly and the man said that he didn't wash his nest clothes because he didn't wear them: they were reserved entirely for nesting. He then said that if they were to reach the next level in their relationship and move in with one another, she'd have to accept his nest.

 

She said that if they were to move in with one another, they'd have to get a bed. To which he replied that he'd rather never sleep again than not sleep in a nest.

 

Click on the link for the full story

Man knows what he likes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nature's dildos:

 

Hundreds of sea pickles are washing ashore in Oregon. Here’s why

 

They’re bumpy, transparent, and bioluminescent – and they’re washing ashore on Oregon’s beaches. 

 

Pyrosomes, or “sea pickles” as some people refer to them, are once again appearing along the Oregon coast. These cylindrical or cone-shaped colonies of creatures are certainly an odd thing to spot on a walk along the beach. 

 

NhgWiYIA-DlQsRcOacejf3lXI32nNkynRgBvLgYy

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does the Guiness Book of World Records have anything that it won't consider?  Some of these records are absurd:

 

Idaho man says he completed his goal of breaking 52 world records in a single year

 

David Rush of Idaho set out to break one Guinness World Record every week of 2021.

 

"He is the world's fastest juggler, the world's slowest juggler, and has the record for most bowling balls juggled, most consecutive ax juggling catches, and longest duration balancing a bicycle on the chin," according to his bio, which says he's broken more than 150 records since 2015.

 

Rush started the year off on Jan. 4 by stacking wet bars of soap with his neighbor, he explained in a blog post last week. From there, his missions included bouncing ping pong balls, catching fruit and marshmallows in his mouth, juggling and doing various tasks very quickly.

 

"I crossed the 200 Guinness World Records broken milestone with one of the 5 hardest for the most kiwis sliced in one minute using a samurai sword while standing on a swiss ball," he wrote.

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

Why kiwis?  Are there similar records for other kinds of fruit?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sex toy sales for a Sacramento soccer club. Parents cry foul over 'ill-advised' fundraiser

 

It's not your average youth sports fundraising effort.

 

Natomas Fútbol Academy, a soccer club with an extensive youth program, launched a fundraiser this week that included the sales of adult toys and sexually-themed products.

 

The Natomas FA fundraiser was promoted on the club's Facebook page and sent via email blast to over a thousand parents and adults in the club.

 

After parents raised concerns and KCRA 3 started asking questions about the fundraiser, club leadership said they made the decision to pull down the fundraiser links in order to appease anyone who might have been upset by it.

 

"If there's a backlash with this, and people are really unhappy about it, then we won't do it again," Natomas FA leadership secretary Wendy Hill said.

 

The controversy started with an announcement to the club's listserv subscribers and Facebook followers.

 

A post that has since been removed from Natomas FA's Facebook page read: "Less than 3 weeks until Valentine's Day! Support Natomas Futbol Academy by purchasing your See's Candies and Pure Romance gifts here! Each fundraiser that we do keeps us working towards our goal of keeping our fees low so 'everyone plays soccer!'"

 

"This is supposed to help bring in some money," Hill said. "Some parents are choosing to turn it into something super horrible."

 

Hill is also a Pure Romance consultant and described the nature of the products she sells.

 

"Pure Romance is a health and wellness company," she said. "We provide education and products that help you from the moment you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep at night."

 

Upon seeing the adult toys and host of other sexually-themed products at the Natomas FA fundraiser link, a group of concerned parents told KCRA 3 they found it inappropriate that those items were attached to a fundraiser that supports their children's soccer club.

 

In a statement to KCRA, those Natomas Fútbol Academy parents wrote: "After communicating with several other Natomas FA families, we feel that integrating a youth sports fundraiser with an adult toy vendor was ill-advised.

 

Click on the link for the full article

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...