Random Funny ARTICLES Not Worth Their Own Thread

[China]

 

[China]

Monkey-hunting team accidentally shoot woman with tranquilliser dart, knocking her out for an hour, while chasing an animal in Japan

 

A team of inept monkey hunters in Japan accidentally shot a woman who had reported a monkey to them with a tranquilliser dart yesterday afternoon.

 

The incident occurred in Fuji City, Shizuoka Prefecture after several witnesses reported seeing the macaque near Fujikawa Station, Sora News 24 report.

 

Three municipal employees and one monkey-hunting specialist armed with tranquilliser rifles were dispatched to the scene to take the monkey down.

 

Upon arrival, as they spoke with the unfortunate woman who was giving them details as to the rogue monkey's whereabouts, one of the team accidentally shot her in the arm with a tranquilliser dart.

 

Enough sedative to knock out a 33lb (15kg) monkey flooded into her bloodstream and put her to sleep almost immediately.

 

The hapless monkey-hunting team rushed the woman to hospital, where she woke up an hour later - although it was still another hour before she was lucid enough to properly express herself.

 

She suffered no injuries and was released later that day. The monkey remains at large. 

 

Click on the link for the full article

[China]

World Gravy Wrestling Championships returns after two-year break

 

Fancy dress, wrestling and lashings of gravy were the order of the day as "one of the world's craziest culinary competitions" returned after a two-year Covid-induced hiatus.

 

A host of wrestlers took part in the 12th annual World Gravy Wrestling Championships at the Rose 'N' Bowl Pub in Rossendale, Lancashire, on Monday.

 

The event sees competitors grapple in a pool of gravy in two-minute bouts.

 

Pub restaurant manager Carol Lowe said it was "amazing to be back".

 

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

[China]

The mystery of Shin-au-av - the legendary lost city in the heart of America

 

Death Valley valley is one of the hottest and driest places on Earth, but it could also be one of the strangest.

 

An ancient legend of the Southern Paiute people tells of a chieftain who wanted to be reunited with his dead wife, and found a secret passage to the underworld. The entrance to this kingdom of the dead, the city of Shin-Au-Av, was in a cavern at the base of Death Valley.

 

For thousands of years, the tale was thought to be nothing but a legend.

 

But in 1947 a man named Howard E. Hill gave a speech to the Los Angeles Transportation Club.

 

During his address, he told the story of a retired doctor named F. Bruce Russell who had explored a cave system beneath Death Valley and claimed to have found an ancient lost city, with strange hieroglyphics carved on its walls and mummified bodies “eight or nine feet tall”.

 

Russell, together with his friend Dr. Daniel S. Bovee, said the giant mummies were dressed in long jackets and trousers made of a fabric that resembled sheepskin that they speculated was from an animal “unknown today”.

 

There were the skeletons of numerous animals, they said, including elephants, sabre-toothed tigers and other creatures that are now long extinct.

 

The mysterious catacombs were decorated, Russell and Bovee claimed, with inscriptions that were a mixture of Native American and Ancient Egyptian iconography.

 

The duo’s story of a lost world hidden in the valley could easily be dismissed as a tall tale – and indeed archaeologists of the time dismissed Hill’s account as just that – but there are some details that bear closer examination.

 

For one, Russell and Bovee are not the only people who claim to have entered the lost kingdom of Shin-Au-Av.

 

Ten years before their discovery, a gold prospector named White also claimed to have stumbled upon the lost kingdom.

 

Click on the link for the full article

[China]

 

And some of the replies:

 

 

 

 

[China]

 

 

[tshile]

wtf is going on 

[China]

3 minutes ago, tshile said:

wtf is going on 

 

reply

[China]

 

[TheGreatBuzz]

2 hours ago, China said:

 

 

Anyone else go give it a like?

[China]

Nigerian officials intercept 7,000 smuggled donkey penises at international airport

 

igerian officials have intercepted 7,000 donkey penises at an international airport after the smell from the packages aroused suspicion.

 

The donkey penises were being smuggled to Hong Kong in 16 sacks but customs officers at Murtala Muhammed airport in the Nigerian city of Lagos intercepted the packages.

 

Sambo Dangaladima, the customs controller at the airport, told the BBC that the animal parts were found in sacks in the animal export section.

 

Click on the link for the full article

[China]

Man arrested for allowing dog to drive his car

 

Near Jerusalem, Israel, police arrested a man who allegedly allowed his dog to drive his car. The fellow had posted video (below) of the dog driving to social media. According to police, another issue is that the vehicle did "not have a roadworthy certification." From the Times of Israel:

 

Quote

Jerusalem area police said the driver was arrested and taken for interrogation on suspicion of reckless driving[…]

 

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

Wait, the dog was driving, so the dog was arrested and interrogated?

[China]

Bear crashes West Hartford birthday party, eats all the cupcakes

 

“A little scared, I’m a little freaked out, but everyone was safe,” Laura Majidian said.

 

Laura explained that once the bear came out of the woods, she just started grabbing children and had “armfuls of children” to get out of the bear’s way. The bear wasn’t aggressive, but rather, sauntered over to the picnic table.

 

 

[China]

Man Lost in Colorado Wilderness Nearly Left Behind by Rescue Helicopter After Searchers Mistake Distress Calls for ‘Hello’

 

A rescue mission in the Colorado Wilderness nearly failed when a man who got separated from his hunting party was almost overlooked by the search team who mistook his calls for help.

 

“The real key here is he went like this,” Debattiste said, waving slowly and casually. “The pilot said, ‘He’s saying hi, he doesn’t seem to be in distress,’ so they left,” Debattiste said. The missing man did not signal in a way the pilots could interpret as someone in distress.

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

[China]

Wrecked semi shoots load of dildos and lube all over I-40…

 

If your commute along I-40 was a bit slippery yesterday, this explains why!

 

Yesterday morning, a roll-over crash involving a semi-tractor trailer and a box truck occurred on I-40 near Mustang on the western fringes of the Oklahoma City metro.

 

The accident prompted the rubberneckers at KWTV News 9 to apparently scramble Patricia’s Sky News 9 for a live shot, and boy did chopper pilot Jim Gardner deliver.

 

After he gave a brief and vague update of the scene, intrigued morning anchor Lacey Lowery asked what cargo the truck was carrying and, specifically “what’s all over the road?” After an awkward pause, a somewhat bashful Jim Gardner stuttered his way around the question and the cameraman zoomed in.

 

Check this out:

 

 

Click on the link for the full article

Edited September 16, 2022 by China

[Xameil]

12 hours ago, China said:

Wrecked semi shoots load of dildos and lube all over I-40…

 

 

The accident prompted the rubberneckers

 

Click on the link for the full article

im experiencing brain freeze from the amount of comments from the rubbernecker classification...

Edited September 16, 2022 by Xameil

[China]

Loose goat 'terrorizes' Arizona residents, pees on deputy

 

n Arizona sheriff's office said a loose goat "terrorized" a community for hours before being apprehended -- and promptly urinating on a deputy.

 

The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office said in a Twitter post that the goat, which they dubbed Billy, "terrorized some residents of Tonopah" for hours by causing damage to a garage door and an electrical cord before chasing a resident around a car.

 

"Deputies from District 2 were able to take Billy into custody, at which point he assaulted one of our deputies by urinating on them," the post said.

 

Click on the link for the full article

[China]

Warning after 'secret' waterfall pool in NSW goes viral

 

Aussie adventurers are travelling in search of a "hidden" waterfall pool in NSW that went viral on social media, however some locals are warning people about an unseen danger lurking in the waters of the picturesque spot.

 

Woy Woy Waterfall Pool lies within the Brisbane Water National Park, north of Sydney.

 

Numerous videos and photos of people enjoying the "beautiful" pool — nicknamed the "bathtub" — can be found online.

 

However some locals have warned tourists that the water in man-made swimming pool is not as clean as swimmers might assume.

 

A waste management facility that shares waterways with Woy Woy Falls is understood to be located just kilometres away, Daily Mail reports.

 

"The water comes from a rubbish disposal nearby, definitely be careful putting head underwater," one person commented.

 

"When you realise that’s a sewage outlet," another responded.

 

"It's a nice spot, but don't swim in it after rains as linked to runoff and has lots of faecal coliforms," a third person said.

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

 

[China]

Shocking! 66 YO Woman Sets New World Record

 

[China]

 

[China]

B.C. climate activist banned from possessing glue as part of court sentence

 

A climate activist who glued himself to the door of a Royal Bank of Canada branch in April has been banned from possessing adhesive outside his home as part of his conditional discharge for the crime.

 

"You must not possess any glue, Super Glue, adhesive, fixative, or resin outside your residence, except: with the prior written permission of your probation officer, or such glue, adhesive, fixative or resin which normally would be used by or with children," Jackson said, describing the final term of the probation.

 

The judge sentenced Brice to 12 months of probation with several other conditions in addition to the ban on possessing glue.

 

Click on the link for the full article

 

 

 

[China]

 

[China]

FDA's 'NyQuil Chicken' warning may have ignited a cough medicine cooking frenzy

 

The Food and Drug Administration issued a warning on Sep. 15 alerting TikTok users and others on social media about the dangers of cooking chicken breasts in NyQuil, a popular over-the-counter cold and flu medicine. The message referred to a "challenge" involving the combination of medicine and poultry, which is it described as "silly and unappetizing."

 

"The challenge sounds silly and unappetizing — and it is," the FDA stated. "But it could also be very unsafe. Boiling a medication can make it much more concentrated and change its properties in other ways,"

 

While lighthearted in tone, the FDA's message appears to have only amplified general awareness of an otherwise obscure trend that began as an Internet message board joke.

 

The origins of "NyQuil chicken" stem from a 2017 video posted to the online forum 4chan. The footage showed chicken breasts cooking in blue-green NyQuil, and images from the post would later make the rounds on Reddit and Twitter before disappearing into digital obscurity. Other than a brief spike in attention in January and an occasional video from Youtube and TikTok creators in the years since, the video seems to have remained dormant and out of mind for most social media users in the years since its conception.

 

This all changed after the FDA's warning, which did not cite the impetus behind its seemingly out-of-nowhere health and safety alert. The agency did not respond to the New York Times' questions about what prompted its message or if people had gotten sick from eating NyQuil chicken recently. 

 

The FDA's warning has, however, pushed the dish back into the minds and social media feeds of an increasing number of people who otherwise likely would have remained blissfully unaware of its existence. 

 

Click on the link for the full article

[China]

Fewer customer complaints on noisy children since penalty rule began: restaurant

 

 

A restaurant that has a $10 “screaming children surcharge” in place said it has been effective in keeping such noise complaints by customers to a minimum.

 

In response to queries by Yahoo News Singapore, Angie's Oyster Bar & Grill said the penalty per child was implemented a "little over a month ago" after complaints of rowdy children running around unattended or disturbing other tables were "noticeably" increasing since May and June.

 

"Prior to the introduction of this policy, we were receiving comments or complaints from other customers on a weekly basis," said the restaurant at Outram Road.

 

With the penalty in place, it noted "an improvement and fewer complaints", with customers who are parents being more mindful and making a greater effort to ensure their children are not disturbing others while dining.

 

Parents and caretakers are informed during the reservations process about the penalty and "99 per cent" of them are very respectful and understanding, the restaurant said.

 

"We are happy to inform you that the vast majority of our guests understand the policy was introduced with good intentions and appreciate we're doing our best to make the dining experience enjoyable for everyone and not just a select few."

 

But the restaurant said it occasionally encounters challenging parents and caretakers who disagree with the policy before a visit.

 

"(We) see it as a forewarning and prepare for their arrival. We understand that we can't please everyone, but we can do our best to deter egocentric behaviours and encourage mutual respect between all our guests."

 

Click on the link for the full article

[China]

Twitter Horrified After Rachel Dolezal's NSFW OnlyFans Pictures Leak

 

Rachel Dolezal, the former white NAACP chapter president who made headlines a few years ago for claiming she identifies as Black, has an OnlyFans account, TMZ reports. Much to Twitter’s horror, some of her steamy snaps have made their way onto the platform Monday night and quickly gone viral.

 

According to TMZ, Dolezal’s account is real. Her representative confirmed she’s had it for most of 2022. And shared that the 44-year-old created it to show off her Savage X Fenty lingerie.

 

 

Her bio on the platform says the purpose of her account is to share her “creative content” and help her interact with fans. It lets potential subscribers know that for $9.99 a month they’ll get an inside look at how her “sensual side” pairs with her “creative spirit through intimate images inspired by color, light, and lingerie on the weekends.”

 

As aforementioned, many Twitter users are disturbed by the NSFW pictures.

 

Most viewers are unhappy Dolezal content has made it on their timelines.

 

“if you post Rachel Dolezal’s onlyfans on my TL, you’re getting blocked,” one user wrote.

 

Click on the link for the full article